Published February 11, 2001

BAGUIO -- Call it what you will, a case of hangover maybe. In the days since Erap has become citizen Estrada, no longer the tenant of Malacanang, GMA or whatever Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo is called, has become the object of text jokes.

Unfortunately, the fertile minds that easily zeroed in on the real or perceived intellectual shortcomings of Estrada do not now have such convenient target. Instead, it's the vertical handicap of the new President that the wags have seized upon. In time perhaps, Gloria will provide more fodder for the jokes. But, for now, that's it, the diminutive GMA as fair grist for the texting mill.

To be fair, the President is taking it all in stride. It's an occupational hazard she herself said in her first press conference, although obviously referring to both the humorous and not so humorous messages being thumbed around in this text capital of the world.

But don't we note a little - no pun intended - pretentiousness here? We are not a nation of skyscrapers, or even of middling basketeers. Our womenfolk could actually be described to be on the petite side. Those who might be called statuesque are actually more the aberration. That can well be disputed, of course, which is maybe why GMA's stature is made light of. Then, again, it's just maybe because the texters have nothing else to make capital of.

Which brings us to that other figure that was similarly ribbed over his height. Today's generation may not remember, but the late Carlos P. Romulo, he of just a little over five feet, was the butt of shorty jokes. One I remember is about how he had to cling to the belt of the towering Douglas MacArthur during the landing on the shores of Leyte.

Later on, after having prize winning accounts of the Second World War, his penchant for putting himself in the center of his narratives, punsters said not all of "Vitamin I" added to his physical stature.

No one could, however, deny that he towered over most of the intellectual department. His achievements as a statesman were also much admired, if not silently envied. The more candid observers would say it was the conceded excellence of the man that made lesser men resort to the jokes.

My father, the late Sinai C. Hamada, himself of short stature, but no mean achiever in brain output, would bring down taller men by saying that in this world height was never measured from the foot up but (gesturing with his hand on his forehead) from the head up. That is true in any world. Which is maybe why extra terrestrials of superior intellect are usually portrayed as short and spindly creatures with disproportionately large brains.

GMA is not pictured like that of course, but one cannot miss the point when she is described as cute. And speaking of pictures, those naughty TV cameramen might one time do a quick pan of GMA when seated in one of those presidential chairs like they did Senator Robert "What are we voting for" Jaworksi with his shoes off. I'd like to see, just for the fun of it, if GMA's feet can "arrive at the floor.

I have to wonder also if President Arroyo ever thought of naming Senator Juan Flavier to the vice-presidency. Now there would have been a match. As it is, however, it's the much taller Teofisto Guingona who will get to tower over the President in the next three or so years. On the other hand, better that than the vertically and horizontally more substantial Senator Franklin Drilon.

To her credit, the President has shown no discomfort even when surrounded by the generally male and taller audiences that are everyday fare. That's self-assurance if there is any.

Come to think of it. GMA could just be what the nation needs these days. With all the crises galore, the compact model which consumes less energy, food and less of other driving fuels is preferable to the big waste makers. Less is more.

We're not making light of small people here. (This hack is genetically a product of smallness.) We wouldn't mind putting down the little people of little minds, nor of the preening public figures. Short people of the world, unite.