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| Oh my!! Yo've better start your shopping now!! |
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| Happy Holidays to all! Below are some links and things for the Holiday. Enjoy |
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| The Top Ten Santa Pick-Up Lines "I'll make you shake like a bowl full of jelly." "I put the 'scroo' in Scrooge." "I've got something you can hang a wreath on." "One hour with me, honey, and you'll see flyin' reindeer!" "Buy you a Zima?" "That is a candy cane in my pocket, and I am glad to see you." "Uh -- yeah, that's right, I'm Kenny Rogers." "I got your stocking stuffer right here, Shirley!" "Giddy-up over here and say 'howdy' to your fat, bearded cowboy of love!" "I've got an elf in my pants!" |
| Why a Christmas tree is better than a man! 1. A Christmas tree is always erect. 2. Even small ones give satisfaction. 3. A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights. 4. A Christmas tree always looks good - even with the lights on. 5. A Christmas tree is always happy with its size. 6. A Christmas tree has cute balls. 7. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls. 8. You can throw a Christmas tree out when it's past its 'sell by' date. 9. You don't have to put up with a Christmas tree all year. |
| Dear Santa, You must be surprised that I'm writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month, filled with illusion I wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of rollerblades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than I, with my parents, my brothers, my friends, and with my neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity. What balls do you have leaving me a fucking yo-yo, a stupid whistle and a pair of socks. What the fuck were you thinking, you fat son of a bitch, that you've taken me for a sucker the whole fucking year to come out with some shit like this under the tree. As if you hadn't fucked me enough, you gave that little faggot across the street so many toys that he can't even walk into his house. Please don't let me see you trying to fit your big fat ass down my chimney next year. I'll fuck you up. I'll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you'll have to walk back to the fucking North Pole,just like what I have to do now since you didn't get me that fucking bike. FUCK YOU SANTA. Next year you'll find out how bad I can be, you FAT SON OF A BITCH. Sincerely, Little Johnny |
