The first week was hell---there was no other way to describe it. Every night they would come home and either fall into the hot tub or their beds, depending upon how far their bodies would carry them. If they weren’t marching, they were running. If they weren’t shooting, they were stripping and cleaning their weapons. If they weren’t studying maps, they were listening to lectures on surviving in the wilderness.
Week 1 - Monday
Pulling into her usual parking space, Meredith turned off the engine and looked around the vehicle---she smiled. They got out of the SUV and walked into her building, removing their covers as they crossed the threshold. Becky had the coffee percolating as she gathered her paperwork together to finish it. When Meredith entered the room, Becky stood.
“Good morning, Commander.”
“Morning.” Meredith disappeared into her office, leaving the young woman alone with the Backstreet Boys.
“Coffee?” She held up a cup, and they all nodded. Becky had made sure that she had enough cups on hand to cover everyone. She also fixed a cup for Meredith, preparing to take it into the office when the phone rang. Howie grabbed the cup and motioned her towards the phone.
“You grab the phone, I’ll take the coffee.” He rapped on the inner door with his knuckles and waited for permission to enter.
Meredith put her hand over the receiver, and called out an “enter”. Howie walked in and placed the cup on her desk. He backed away, but she motioned that he could stay, so he began to wander around her office. There were a number of commendations and pictures on the wall. He recognized Generals Powell and Schwarzkopf and figured the photos were from Desert Storm. He read the letters that hung there, not surprised to see how highly they spoke of Meredith and her abilities to do her job well. He could hear the conversation behind him and tried to ignore it.
“Yes, that’s correct. Five Remington 720s, five HKs, possibly a 500-calibre rifle. We’ll pick them up on our way to the range.”
Howie turned around when she’d finished. “What’re we doing today?”
She stood up and crossed to the window, looking out as she sipped her coffee. “First off, PT. After lunch, we’ll hit the range and see how well you handle the rifles.”
Howie had forgotten about the gun aspect of this training. He wasn’t looking forward to it, but he figured he’d pretend it was one of Nick’s video games. He’d do his part and then let someone else have a turn. Meredith watched the expression on Howie’s face in a reflection on the window, recognizing the disinterest in the whole aspect of guns.
“We need to get going. Is everyone ready?” Meredith turned back to her desk and set her empty cup down.
“I guess. They were all guzzling coffee a few minutes ago.” Howie preceded her out of the office.
They found the other four sitting around the office, drinking coffee and talking to Becky about life in the Navy.
“Are you ready, gentlemen?” Meredith looked around the room.
“Yes, ma’am.” Nick stood up, followed by the rest of the group.
“Have fun.” Becky smiled as they filed out the door, chuckling when the door was closed because she knew what Meredith had planned.
Team 2 showed up outside the building as they exited, and salutes were exchanged. Curran smiled at Meredith.
“Ready?”
“Willing and able.” She nodded at him before turning to her team. “FALL IN!”
The five guys scrambled into their formation, and Team 2 fell in beside them.
“Right face.” Twelve bodies pivoted to face right.
“Forward, march.” Meredith waited until the line had almost passed before she pivoted to her left and marched beside them.
She gave them a couple of hundred yards before she called out a “double time” and pushed them into a steady jog. Nick thought he was going to die before they finished the run. He struggled to the end, dropping to the ground when they reached the training area. Brian sat down next to him, breathing deeply.
Howie managed to stay upright, but he was winded. Only Kevin and AJ appeared unaffected. The rest of the group looked at the five.
Hawkins laughed. “What the hell are you gonna do when we’re pushing 10 miles with full packs.”
Nick lifted his head and looked at him, incredulity written on his face. “What?!?!?!”
Meredith rolled her eyes and pushed Hawkins out of the way. “Don’t scare them.”
She held out her hands to help Brian and Nick off the ground, and the two men dusted themselves off. They formed into two lines, and Nick was surprised when Meredith stood next to him and Ramos moved in front of the group. He clapped his hands together, rubbing them in glee.
“Ah, PT, my favorite thing. Let’s start off with jumping jacks, shall we?”
The two lines spaced themselves and began the drills. After an hour of calisthenics, Brian wondered if various parts of his body were going to fall off. They’d jumped, bounced, run, crawled, and done pushups and sit-ups. After taking a longer water break, Meredith directed them to the obstacle course. They groaned and were surprised to hear Team 2 groan as well.
Nick looked at Leary. “I thought you guys lived for this?”
“Not this course. We prefer ours. It’s a little more exciting.”
Meredith caught the end of the exchange. “Oh, yeah, it’s more exciting. I’m sure they want live ammunition zipping over their heads as they crawl through the wire.”
“Live ammunition?”
“Wire?”
Brian and Howie stared at each other in horror before looking at the team.
Hawkins grinned and nodded vigorously. “Oh, yeah, it’s a blast. You guys will love it.”
“We’re doing it?” Kevin turned to Meredith.
She smiled reassuringly. “Not until close to the end, and we won’t be using any live ammo. It’ll be fine.”
He was somewhat mollified and turned his attention back to the course. They spent a couple of hours going through various parts, trying out some things they didn’t get to do the Friday before.
Meredith looked at her watch and saw that it was getting close to lunch. She whistled and called the group together. “We’re going to break for lunch, then we’ll hit the firing range this afternoon. I want you guys to get a feel for the weapons.”
They nodded and assembled into a marching formation to head back to the office. They were surprised that it took so little time to get back, considering their run from this morning.
“Am I losing it, or did that take just a fraction of the time it took this morning.” AJ looked over at Meredith as they bypassed her building and headed for the mess hall.
“No, you’re not losing it. The training field’s only half a mile from my office.”
“And it took so long to run because….” He continued to question her.
“Because a half-mile run wasn’t long enough.” She grinned at him quickly before turning to her left to return a salute.
They followed her example as they passed the young man, who waited until all officers had passed before continuing on his way.
“How far did we run?” Nick ran his fingers through his hair as he removed his cover in the dining room.
“About five miles.” Ramos moved in front of them and grabbed a tray, loading it with food.
Nick stopped in the middle of the line, only moving when he was prodded by Meredith. “Five miles?”
“Give or take.” Leary passed him by as he took his food.
Nick shook his head and loaded his tray as well, following the rest of them to a large table. The guys from 98 Degrees and ‘N Sync were at the table behind them, and Drew Lachey leaned over towards Brian.
“Hey, man. How’s it going?”
Brian turned to smile at the young man. “Not bad. How about you?”
Drew shrugged. “It’s been a long morning. They’ve had us pretty much running all over the place.”
Brian laughed. “Yeah, us, too. We did five miles this morning, followed by an hour of PT and two hours at the obstacle course.”
Drew winced a bit. “Yowch. We’re going to look at destroyers this afternoon. We got sea duty.”
“Sounds good. We’re going to the firing range.” Brian nodded.
Chris and Justin had been listening, and Justin couldn’t help but snicker a bit. The two men turned to face the pair. Drew looked at the young man.
“What’s so funny?”
Justin shrugged. “I was just wondering why they need to go to the firing range to protect toilet paper?”
“Toilet paper?” Drew looked back to Brian, but Justin interrupted him.
“I heard they got supply.” The young man from ‘N Sync began to chuckle.
Drew looked at Brian, who returned the look. The younger man looked at the people sitting with the Backstreet Boys and seriously doubted they were in supply, but he didn’t question it because of Brian’s slight shake of the head.
“Try not to shoot anything important this afternoon, ‘kay?”
“You got it.” Brian nodded to his friend, then turned back to his lunch.
Meredith and Kevin overheard the conversation and noticed Brian’s expression.
“Problems, Littrell?” Her voice was low.
“You know, he’s really starting to piss me off.” Brian motioned to Justin Timberlake with his head.
“Just ignore him. Trust me, he’s not going to have as much fun as you are.”
After lunch, Meredith took her team to the armory to get the weapons she’d chosen and then took them to the firing range. The Seals had some matters to attend to with their CO and promised to find them later.
Gathering the guys around a table, she showed them the Remington 720 bolt-action rifle. She explained the various parts of it, telling them they’d learn how to break it down and clean it later. She emphasized the importance of safety throughout her lecture, making sure they each understood the lesson. When she’d finished her explanation, she took a magazine, inserted it, and chambered a round. Holding it in her hands, she smiled at the group.
“Locked, cocked, and ready to rock.”
The looks of their faces almost made her laugh out loud…almost. Meredith managed to refrain from laughing, but she did smile. She ejected the magazine, removed the bullet from the chamber, and laid the rifle back down on the table with the safety on and the magazine beside it. She then demonstrated the HK 9mm pistol she’d picked up. Throughout her career, Meredith had tried different weapons, finally settling on the HK as her preferred choice. She thought the gun would be a good start for the guys. When she finished her safety lecture on that weapon, she handed the unloaded pistols to her men. She directed them to the range, giving them headphones to protect their hearing. She lined each one up in a lane. Once assigned, she motioned for the range operator to pull the targets back to the first test distance. She passed out the magazines, staying with each of them until they’d successfully loaded and chambered the gun. Once they were ready, she moved behind them and instructed them to fire.
When they finished, their targets were moved forward to reveal their scores. As a general rule, first times were usually pretty decent, so the guys didn’t feel too bad. Meredith helped them reload, and the targets were set farther back. After they emptied that magazine, the targets zipped back towards them. As expected, Nick and Brian were pretty good considering the amount of time they spent playing video games. AJ and Kevin weren’t bad, but Howie…Howie surprised her.
After the third round, she examined their targets. Moving to the table, she picked up the Remington and brought it to Howie’s lane. She handed it to him, helping him load and cock the rifle. Moving behind him, she wrapped her arms around him and helped him guide the weapon into position, making sure he didn’t have a death grip on it.
Leaning close, she spoke softly in his ear. “Remember to gently squeeze the trigger as you sight the target.”
Meredith looked over and nodded for the range operator to send the target out to about 500 yards. She stepped away from Howie. The young man took a deep breath as he sighted down the scope. Slowly exhaling, he squeezed the trigger, sending the 30-06 caliber bullets flying through the air. When he finished, he laid the rifle down and waited for the paper to make its way back to him.
Meredith reached out and grabbed the paper, studying the placement. She slid another target into the holder and had it sent to 1,000 yards. Another magazine was loaded into the rifle, and Howie prepared to fire.
By this time, Kevin, AJ, Brian, and Nick were standing behind them watching when Team 2 arrived. Curran stood next to Kevin.
“What’s going on?”
Kevin shrugged. “We were firing the pistols, when Commander Davenport got a rifle and gave it to Howie. We’ve just been watching.”
They both turned back to look as the sound of rapid firing echoed around them. The target flew back towards the pair, and Curran moved towards them since they had finished that round. He looked at the score, nodding appreciatively, then looked at Meredith.
Howie looked at both, wondering what was going on. “Is something wrong?”
Meredith turned to look at him, then patted his arm. “No, nothing’s wrong. We’re just admiring your work.”
“Admiring? Why?” He was genuinely confused as to what was so important.
The rest of the group joined them, looking at the target. The other four Backstreet Boys didn’t understand, but the Seals did. Hawkins whistled appreciatively.
“Reminds me of God.”
Curran, Ramos, and Leary looked at him, then back at the target. Curran nodded as well. “Yeah, it does.”
The five trainees were very confused. Howie was the first to speak up though. “God? How does this remind you of God?”
Curran smiled. “Not that God. One of the men on my team was called God because he was our sniper expert, and he was very good at his job. I’d say that with the proper training, you’d be just about as good he was.”
Howie was shocked, as were the others. Meredith could see him distancing himself from this knowledge, and she motioned for him to follow her.
“Are you okay?” Her voice was full of concern.
His was shaky. “I’m not sure I want to be good at that.”
She nodded in understanding. “I know that it’s hard for you to do this and to accept this. You don’t have to do anything beyond the scheduled weapons training.”
Howie looked at her, relief in his eyes. “Thanks.”
They walked back to the group to find the Seals examining the rest of the targets.
“You guys ain’t half bad.” Leary looked at the trainees.
Curran looked at Howie, then over to Meredith, who shook her head slightly. He nodded in understanding, then partnered each of the five men with a Seal to get some individual instruction. Meredith went to her lane, loaded her pistol, and began her own practice run.
After a few hours of shooting, stripping, and cleaning the weapons, Meredith gathered her team and herded them back to her office so she could check her e-mail and they could go home. Weariness was evident as they settled in her office while they waited for her.
She looked at them, pleased with the day’s events. Finishing up quickly, she ushered them out of the building and to the car. The ride home was uneventful, and she heard the sighs of relief as she pulled into the driveway.
AJ was the first one through the door when Meredith unlocked it and disabled the security system. He headed quickly for his bedroom as the others watched. In two minutes, he was back out and headed for the hot tub. Nick, Kevin, and Brian looked at each other and hurried to their rooms. Howie stood in the foyer, toying with his cover.
“Something wrong?”
He hesitated, not quite sure how he wanted to voice his concerns. Meredith watched him struggle for another moment.
“How about you go get changed, and I’ll go get changed. I’m sure we could both use some time in the hot tub to relax our muscles.” Meredith smiled at him.
“I can’t talk about this in front of them.” He didn’t move.
“We don’t have to talk then. We’ll just take it easy, and it’ll give you time to figure out exactly what you want to say.”
He nodded and headed towards his room, his steps slow. She watched him go, hoping that she would be able to offer some comfort when he felt ready to talk about whatever was bothering him.
Meredith made it out to the hot tub before Howie, dropping her towel on a chair. She stepped down into the 8-man tub and settled into her seat. She leaned her head back, closed her eyes, and let herself just be. She heard the rustle of fabric as a towel landed on a lounge chair.
Opening her eyes, she watched as Howie joined them, exhaling as the warmth surrounded him. She leaned her head back again and closed her eyes.
“This is better than sex.” His voice was soft and meant only to be heard by AJ, but it carried to the rest of them.
The words flew out of her mouth before she even realized she’d spoken aloud. “You’ve obviously haven’t had sex with the right person, then.”
Even the bubbles couldn’t cover the silence that fell. Slowly raising her head, she looked around and met the wide eyes of the men with her. Howie was the first to lose control, laughing until tears streamed down his face. She didn’t think it was that funny, but she was glad to see him less tense after his afternoon at the range. The rest of them joined in, realizing that she was going to fit in with them just fine.
They stayed in the hot tub for another twenty minutes before Nick’s stomach reminded them it was time to eat. Climbing out, they dried off and headed for the house. Meredith pulled out the chicken she’d started marinating that morning, placing it in a pan so she could bake it. Howie gathered the ingredients for Spanish rice and started fixing it. Brian pulled out a bag of broccoli from the freezer, and Meredith had to laugh as he carefully held it away from his body. Once dinner was cooking, they disappeared into their rooms to change into comfortable clothes. When they returned, dinner wasn’t far from being ready. She popped some French bread into the oven to warm while the chicken finished cooking.
Kevin and Nick set the table, while AJ took drink orders. All of the guys chose beer, and Meredith didn’t even raise an eyebrow when Nick got one. He was kind of surprised that she didn’t.
“I don’t mind you having one in the house where I can keep an eye on you, but I won’t condone one in a bar where someone could get in trouble for serving you or you might end up driving.”
He nodded and set it down at his seat. Meredith grabbed a glass of iced tea and fixed it to her specifications before handing it to AJ and asking him to put it at her seat. She pulled the chicken out of the oven and checked to make sure it was done. Satisfied, she laid the pieces on a plate and handed it to Kevin to set on the table. Howie spooned the rice into a bowl and took it to the dining room. Brian added some butter to the broccoli before putting it in a bowl and handing it to AJ. He then grabbed the salt and pepper before heading to the table. Meredith looked around to see if they’d forgotten anything, before grabbing the bread and some butter.
In moments, all six were sitting down to dinner. Brian said grace, and they eagerly dug into the food when he finished. AJ watched her drink her tea, realizing that he’d never seen drink alcohol other than when she was telling them about her past. He thought it was rather strange. He got up to get another beer, and asked if anyone else wanted something.
Kevin asked for another one, while Brian asked for tea. Meredith tapped her glass to indicate she wanted some as well. When he returned, AJ brought the pitcher, another glass, and the two beers. He poured some for Brian, then topped off Meredith’s glass. As he poured, he looked at her.
“You don’t like beer?”
She shook her head. “I don’t drink.”
Nick looked at her when she said that. “You did Saturday night.”
“That was different.”
“How?” He didn’t see a difference.
“It was a matter of courage, then. Until that moment, I hadn’t had alcohol in three years.”
That statement gave them pause. It sounded like she’d had a problem with alcohol, and it bothered them to think that. Meredith could see the wheels turning in their heads after she’d spoken. Her words had the same reaction with everyone.
Sighing, she took a sip of her tea before she explained. “I’m not an alcoholic. It’s just that, after Andy’s funeral, I spent the next week in an alcoholic haze. I can’t remember who was there, what I said, or what I did. I woke up one morning, more sober than I wanted to be, and heard Irene and my mother talking about how worried they were about me. I looked at my nightstand and saw a picture of Andy, and I just sort of lost it. I think I cried for three hours straight, and I haven’t really had a drink since. I used the alcohol to put off dealing with my grief, and I don’t want to do that again.”
Nick turned back to his plate, nodding as he picked up his fork. Brian and Kevin looked at her, comforted by her admission. Sometimes, they thought she was too perfect, and it made them feel better to know she was just as human as they were. Howie continued to eat, accepting her explanation. AJ didn’t look at her, but his heart was heavy. He could understand her loss, and it made him want to take her in his arms and hug her. He did realize that it wouldn’t be a good thing at the moment, though.
When dinner was finished, topped off by ice cream, Brian finished the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. They all dispersed. AJ and Howie went to play pool. Brian and Kevin sat down to watch a movie. Nick wandered around her den, looking at the books on her shelves.
“Find anything interesting?”
He jumped as he heard her voice behind him.
“Geez, don’t do that!” The exasperation was clearly evident.
Meredith laughed. “Sorry, habit. Looking for a good book? I can recommend one.”
She turned to peruse the books as he did, running her fingers along the spines.
“Maybe later. Thanks, though.”
“Anytime.” Patting his arm, she turned away and disappeared from the room.
Sighing, he grabbed his Gameboy and began to play.
When Meredith made her rounds at ten, she called out “goodnights” to Kevin and Brian as they walked towards their rooms. “Sweet dreams” was her reply. She found AJ replacing the pool cues as he got ready to head to bed.
“Goodnight, AJ.”
Again, he was startled by the use of his first name. “Goodnight, Meredith.”
She went in search of the remaining two. Meredith found Nick still in the den, heavily involved in his game. She made some noise to let him know she was there, and he paused it to look up.
“Might want to think about heading to bed. Tomorrow’s another day.”
He grinned and turned off his game, gathering his bag with this computer stuff. “Goodnight, Scarlett.”
Meredith rolled her eyes. “Get.”
He laughed and headed for his room. She stood in the middle of the den and wondered where her last charge was hiding. Wandering through the house, she found him sitting next to the pool, stretched out on a chaise and staring up at the stars. Grabbing a chair next to him, she waited for him to start.
“I’m not sure I want to even acknowledge this talent.” He spoke into the darkness with a certain detachment.
“Fair enough.”
Her agreement threw him off. He’d expected her to argue and try to convince him he needed to develop this deadly skill. He looked over at her, not surprised to find her looking back.
“You don’t think I should try and be as good as Curran thinks I can be?”
“We didn’t call Dane “God” because he had the power to end a life from 2000 yards. He was a very spiritual man, very calm, very focused. He didn’t use that skill without thought. He saw it as a way he could effectively contribute to the team. He protected them, helped ensure they successfully completed their missions. He didn’t brag about his talent, he just used it in a way he believed help make things right.”
Howie thought about what she said. When she and Curran had first mentioned the marksman, he thought the call sign was meant to make fun of God and laugh at the power of life and death. He would have to ponder what she said and try and figure out what all of this meant to him.
Meredith could see that he was thinking about the whole situation, and she got up to return to the house.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, Howie. The purpose of this whole exercise is to help you find out just what you’re made of, to help you realize, as corny as it sounds, all you can be. You aren’t just Howie D, Backstreet Boy; there are sides to you that you haven’t discovered yet.”
“What if I don’t like them?” He looked up at her.
“You can’t get rid of them. You can only learn to deal with them and realize that they are necessary at times. You just have to figure out what those times are.”
Howie nodded, adding her words to the things he had to think about. Meredith moved away from him and headed towards her bedroom door.
“Don’t stay up too late. Tomorrow will be worse than today.”
“Goodnight, Meredith.”
“Goodnight, Howie. May your dreams give you the answers you need.” She looked at him and smiled gently.
“Thanks.” He nodded back before getting up and disappearing into the house.
Table of Contents
Chapter Six