Nick and Brian showed up later in the day, Brian stopping abruptly in the hallway when he saw her face. He looked at her, but didn’t say a word at the shake of her head. She pulled the two men aside and explained the bruise, and they both took care not to say anything that would make Howie think they blamed him.
Irene looked at her when she and Kevin arrived, one eyebrow arching. “How many times have I told you not to get involved in those mud wrestling matches?”
Meredith hung her head. “But I was going for the title.”
The guys just shook their head at the weird conversation, leading the women back to a discussion of dinner.
Every time someone stared at the bruise on Meredith’s face, Howie cringed. None of his friends were angry with him, understanding that the nightmares still had a grip on him. Nick and Brian started calling her Ali, and she rolled her eyes at them.
***Backstreet Boys***
Howie’s parents showed up right after dinner, wanting to meet the woman who had such an impact on their son’s life. Hoke shook her hand then pulled Meredith into a big hug. Paula hugged her next, slipping into Spanish as she cried.
“Gracias, agradézcale por el cuidado de mi bebé. {Thank you, thank you for taking care of my baby.}”
Meredith patted the older woman’s shoulder as they hugged. “Él tuvo cuidado de mí también. Yo no podía hacer cada menos para él. {He took care of me as well. I couldn’t do any less for him.}”
Paula stepped back and wiped her face. She looked over to find amusement on the faces of her husband and son. “Oh, go away, you two.”
Meredith looked over as well. “Yeah, beat it, D.”
He sighed and rolled his eyes, clapping his hand on his father’s shoulder. “C’mon, Dad. Let’s go see what the others have gotten into. I’ll introduce you to Irene, Meredith’s sister.”
The two men walked towards the balcony, leaving the two women alone. Paula looked at the young woman in front of her, knowing her son had something to do with the bruise on her face by the way he kept looking at his friend.
“What happened?” Her voice was soft as she led Meredith towards the kitchen.
“I tried to wake him up from a nightmare. I didn’t move out of the way quick enough.” She smiled at Howie’s mother as she put the kettle on to make tea.
“He feels so bad. I can see it in his eyes.”
“Yes, he does. I think it’s all really tied in with his nightmares though. He’ll have to work through it. It will take time before he smiles as easily as he used to.” Meredith set the tea bags in the teapot and poured hot water in to let the tea steep.
Paula sat down at the kitchen table and slowly crumbled a cookie between her fingers. “I want to help him. I’ve already lost one child. I can’t lose another.”
Meredith laid her hand over Paula’s, causing the older woman to look at her. “I understand. I will do my very best to make sure he doesn’t stay lost.”
She folded the young woman’s hand between hers, a smile gracing her face. “Thank you, Meredith, for caring about my son.”
“It’s my pleasure, and my honor, Mrs. Dorough.”
“Paula, please.”
“Paula.”
The two women smiled at each other before they were interrupted by Irene. “Is this a private party or can anyone join?”
Paula looked up at the young woman standing in the doorway. She smiled as she held out her hand. “I’m Paula Dorough.”
“Irene Winters. It’s a pleasure, Mrs. Dorough.”
“Oh, please, call me Paula. Howie’s talked about you a number of times, and I feel like I’ve gotten to know you at least a little bit.”
“If it was good, it’s all true. If it wasn’t…well, it was only partly true.” She smiled at Howie’s mom.
Paula laughed. “He was right when he said you were very funny. He likes you…both of you.”
Irene sat down at the table, chuckling softly. “The feeling is definitely mutual.”
The three women continued to chat, sipping the tea Meredith made and eating cookies while the men hung out in the living room or the balcony. Howie was glad to see that his parents liked Meredith and knew that she would be there to help him when he needed it.
***Backstreet Boys***
AJ escorted Meredith into the VIP lounge at the airport, having given Marcus a look when the bodyguard suggested that the young man remain in the car. He only had a short time left before she boarded that plane, and he was determined to spend every moment he could with her.
The others had said their goodbyes at AJ’s house. She only teared up a little bit when she hugged them goodbye, making her way quickly outside to the car before she lost it completely.
Now they sat side by side in the lounge, holding hands as they counted down the minutes. It seemed as if no time had passed before her flight was called. She stood up and looked at Marcus.
“Thank you for everything, Marcus.” She hugged the large man, surprising him. Leaning close, she whispered to him, “Take care of him for me.”
The bodyguard nodded before releasing her. She turned to AJ, throwing herself in his arms. He held her close, inhaling the scent of her perfume, her shampoo, her body. Pulling away slightly, he crushed her mouth in a kiss that never seemed to end.
Marcus gently tapped Meredith on the shoulder, and she reluctantly ended the embrace. Reaching out, she pressed her fingers against his lips and smiled tremulously.
“I love you, mine. Be safe.”
“I love you, love. Until then.”
Turning and taking a deep breath, she walked out of the lounge to her gate and boarded the plane that would take her home.
But it’s not home anymore. Not without him.
***Backstreet Boys***
SEPTEMBER
Becky picked up the phone as she sorted through some reports. “Commander Davenport’s office.”
“Hey, Becky, is Meredith around?” AJ petted JD’s head as he watched Vegas chase Nick around the room.
“Hi, AJ. No, I imagine they’re releasing her right about now.” She continued to sort the papers, only halfway paying attention to her conversation.
“Releasing her from where?” He felt a niggle of fear in his body, and Nick looked up at his friend’s sharp tone.
“The hospital. She had a bit…” A dial tone greeted her, and she hung up the phone with a shrug.
AJ ended his call with Becky and began dialing numbers frantically. Nick started to worry as he watched fear cross the older man’s face.
“C’mon, answer the damned phone.” He began to pace as the phone continued to ring.
“Hello?”
AJ recognized the voice right before he spoke. “Curran, where is she?”
“Calm down, McLean. She’s getting settled. When she’s done, I’ll give the phone to her.” Curran shook his head as he watched Leary settle her into her bed.
Meredith grimaced a bit, then held out her hand, shooing the guys from her room. She waited until the door was closed before holding the receiver to her ear.
“Hey, mine.”
AJ sank onto the couch, releasing a heavy sigh. “What happened?”
“I zigged when I should have zagged.” She heard Nick in the background. “Tell Nick I’m okay.”
AJ put his hand over the receiver. “She says she’s fine, but I’ve got to find out exactly what happened. Chill for a minute.”
He held the phone back up to his ear. “Okay, now tell me what really happened.”
“I was on a ridge, stalking a member of Team 8. Had him right where I wanted him, when he rabbited, taking me down the side of the hill with him. I’ve got a slight concussion, which is why they kept me overnight, and some bruised ribs. I’ll be hugging a desk for at least the next six weeks.”
His head sank into his hand, and he found himself trembling. “Hang on, love, while I pass on the info to Nick. He looks like he’s about to explode.”
“Heavens, that would be very messy, not to mention bad for record sales.” She chuckled then groaned.
“What? What is it?” Panic rose in his chest.
“It hurts when I laugh.” Her voice was soft.
“Then don’t laugh.” He rubbed his head, wishing he were sitting next to her.
“Don’t make me laugh.” She sighed into the phone. “Go tell Nick before he has an aneurysm.”
AJ sat back down on the sofa and rested the receiver on his chest. “She had an accident while she was training with the team. Slight concussion and bruised ribs.”
Nick rubbed his jaw. “Shit. But she’s okay, right?”
The other man nodded. “She sounds a little out of it, but she’s cracking jokes.”
“Sounds like Mom.”
AJ returned to Meredith, his voice softening. “How long are you going to be at home?”
“Um, at least a week to let my ribs get settled a bit.” She rested against the pillows and yawned.
“You sound half asleep.” He rubbed the phone, wishing it was her skin instead of the cold plastic.
“Almost. Sing me a song.” She held the phone close, wishing it was him.
AJ thought for a moment, then began to sing softly into the phone.
As I sit here surrounded, by people and lights
Alone with my drink at the bar
You’ve been here forever, so clear in my mind
I just don’t know where you are
I know I’ll find you, but, girl, ‘til I do
This is my love song for you
Let’s hold hands on the porch swing, under the moon
While the wind through the willows plays us a tune
We can lie on a blanket out back in the yard
And wish for our future on a faraway star
And you’ll feel the passion, as time after time
I press your sweet lips to mine
We can dance to the radio, right up ‘til dawn
‘Til you drift off to dream in my arms
You might be hundreds or more miles away
Or you might be just down the street
But there’ll be a hunger, deep in your eyes
That I’ll recognize when we meet
It might take hours or it might take years
But this is the song you will hear
Let’s hold hands on the porch swing, under the moon
While the wind through the willows plays us a tune
We can lie on a blanket out back in the yard
And wish for our future on a faraway star
And you’ll feel the passion, as time after time
I press your sweet lips to mine
We can dance to the radio, right up ‘til dawn
‘Til you drift off to dream in my arms
And you’ll feel the passion, as time after time
I press your sweet lips to mine
We can dance to the radio, right up ‘til dawn
‘Til you drift off to dream in my arms
When he finished singing, he heard her soft breathing in the phone, and he smiled. He whispered softly into the phone. “Sweet dreams, love.”
Hanging up, he looked at Nick. Nick looked back at him, a strange expression on his face.
“What were you singing?”
“It’s called Drift off to Dream by Travis Tritt.”
“You’re singing a country song to her?” Nick was having trouble with the picture, even though he’d just seen it with his own two eyes.
“She loves that song.”
Nick just nodded. AJ pulled out his wallet, digging out a credit card as he dialed.
“What are you doing?” The younger man watched his friend carefully.
“I’m going to see her.”
Nick put his hand on AJ’s arm, and the other man opened his mouth to argue that he was going no matter what.
“Make it two.”
AJ just nodded, then spoke into the phone when he reached an operator. “I need two tickets to Emerald Point, Virginia, as soon as possible.”
***Backstreet Boys***
They crept into the house, smiling at Curran and Hawkins as the two men looked up. The Seals shook hands with the duo then headed out after leaving instructions for checking on Meredith.
The two men eased into Meredith’s room, watching her face in the pre-dawn light. They couldn’t tell much in the dimness, and neither of them wanted to turn on a light to wake her up and see how bad she really was hurt.
Nick suddenly started. “We forgot to call anyone.”
He headed out of the room to call Brian and tell him where they were. AJ took the opportunity to gently crawl into bed with Meredith. He rested his hand on her belly, feeling the bulkiness of the bandage around her ribs. She sighed, turning her head towards him. He saw her eyes flutter open for a minute, then close. They opened fully and stared at him, her mouth opening but no words escaping.
AJ took advantage of it to press a kiss to her lips, his tongue stroking hers gently. Meredith pressed her palm to his cheek and sighed into the caress.
“What are you doing here?’ She smiled sleepily at him, glad to have him close.
“We caught a flight after I got off the phone with you last night.” He stroked her cheek before settling his hand gently on her abdomen.
“We?” Meredith heard her bedroom door creak and turned her head to see Nick moving quietly as he entered.
“Hey, Munchkin.”
He sat down on the bed next to her, reaching out to brush the curls away from her face. “Hey, Mom. How are you?”
She smiled before rubbing her face with her free hand. “Tired, hurt, feeling stupid that I didn’t get out of the way before Nichols went down the hill.”
“How’s the other guy?” AJ chuckled at her answer before asking his own question.
“Broken leg.” She sighed as both men continued to pet her.
She opened her eyes wide, trying to wake up. “I’m sorry, I just can’t stay awake much longer.”
“Sleep. We’ll be here when you wake up.” AJ kissed the corner of her mouth.
“I’m glad you’re here.” The words were expelled on a sigh as she let herself fall asleep.
“Me, too.” Nick smiled at her before getting off the bed.
“I’m going to let Stasi out, then crash in a bed somewhere. Come find me when you need a break.” He rubbed the dog’s head as he stood beside the bed and watched two of his favorite people cuddle together.
“Thanks for coming with me, Nick.” AJ was solemn as he looked at his friend.
“You’d do the same for me.” The young man smiled before slipping out of the room.
He let Stasi out into the back yard then settled himself on a patio chair as he watched the sun come up while he waited for the dog to finish her business. When she returned and sat next to him, he rubbed her head for several minutes as he appreciated the sunrise. After the sun began its morning climb in the sky, Nick got up and went back into the house. He made sure Stasi had enough water and dog food, then wandered back into the room he had used before. He pulled off his clothes and dropped into the bed, falling asleep almost immediately. Stasi settled on the floor at the foot of the bed.
When he woke up later, he dressed and walked into the kitchen to find Meredith sitting in a chair, gripping the sides of the table as she gritted her teeth. AJ stood at the counter, watching her as he pretended to be focusing on the coffee pot.
Nick stared at both of them, his head moving back and forth slowly. He let Stasi out into the backyard then took a seat at the table.
“Morning.” He watched as Meredith slowly expelled a breath and tried to smile at him.
“Morning, Nick. How did you sleep?”
“Damn good. How about you?” His expression softened as she eased herself back in the chair, holding her ribs tightly.
“Not too bad. Had my favorite pillow to keep me company.” She smiled at AJ before her smiled quickly faded as she looked at his tense back.
“Hey, AJ. What are you making?” Nick could feel the tension in the kitchen and was getting a little worried.
“Omelets. What do you want in yours?” The words were clipped.
“Whatever’s fine.” Nick looked over at Meredith, who just shook her head.
AJ finished making breakfast, setting plates in front of them before sitting down himself. They ate in silence. When they finished, AJ picked up the plates and took them to the sink to clean before setting them in the dishwasher.
“What’s on the agenda for today?” Nick stretched in his chair.
“I was thinking…” Meredith began to speak until AJ jumped in to finish the sentence.
“Of going back to bed and resting her body.”
Her eyes darkened, and her mouth settled into a line. She stared at AJ, who stared right back, his hands settled on his hips. Nick stood up and then pushed his chair under the table.
“I think I’ll just head outside now.” He quickly escaped out into the backyard with Stasi, sitting down on the pool edge and dangling his legs in the water. The two people in the kitchen continued to stare at each other.
With a stifled groan, Meredith stood up and faced her lover, her hands settling on her hips and mimicking AJ’s stance.
“Are you going to dictate bathroom visits, or do I get to make that call myself?” Her voice was low and pleasant, something AJ remembered vividly from their training sessions.
“Do I need to, or are you going to pay attention to what your body is telling you?” His voice was equally pleasant, and the two of them sounded like they were discussing the roses that grew in the backyard.
“I can take care of myself, AJ. I’ve been doing it for a long time.”
“And I know how you are. You’re going to push yourself and do things sooner than you should, causing your injury to take longer to heal.”
She bit back a retort, knowing that he was right, but still determined to have some say in the matter. Her first instinct was to let loose with a volley of words that would cut him to the quick; but she knew that, once spoken, those words could never be taken back or forgotten.
Taking a couple of steps towards the counter, she pressed a hand against her ribs as pain flared through her body. AJ wanted to help her, but he knew she would probably get angry at the assistance.
“I know you care, but you can’t take over my life every time something bad happens. I need to be able to handle things myself.”
“And I need you to let me help you when I can.”
By this time, she had reached the counter, and a fine sheen of perspiration covered her face. She reached out her hand, and he grabbed it, sliding an arm around her to gently hold her up.
“I know it’s hard for you to let people help. I just want to be there for you, however you need me to be.” AJ pressed a gentle kiss to her temple as he walked her to her room.
Sitting her down on the bed, he went into the bathroom and grabbed a washcloth, running cool water over it. When he returned, Meredith had settled herself against the pillows. He ran the cloth over her face, and she sighed. As he turned to walk back into the bathroom, she grabbed his hand.
“Thank you for coming and listening to me bitch. And thank you for understanding that I need to do things myself, and for loving me enough to see past the control issues to insist that I rest.” Meredith smiled at him, biting her lip as she waited for him to respond.
“You’re one of the strongest women I know, love, and I’m very proud of you and all you’ve accomplished. I want you to realize that you don’t have to be Superwoman. It’s okay to be hurt and to take care of yourself. I just want you to know that I’m there when you need someone else to be strong.”
She pressed her hand to her mouth as a few tears rolled down her cheeks. He brushed them away then kissed her forehead and her cheeks.
“Rest now, love.”
She nodded. “I love you, mine.”
“I love you, too.”
AJ walked out of the room, leaning against the wall as he ran a hand over his face. He headed for the kitchen and made a quick grocery list since she was running low on things. Opening the back door, he called out.
“Hey, Nick. I need you to do me a favor.”
Nick walked back into the house, looking around with a wary expression. “Fireworks over?”
The other man grinned slightly. “For the moment. I need to run to the grocery store. Can you go keep Meredith company? She might be asleep, but I think she’ll do better if someone’s in there.”
Nodding, the younger man headed for Meredith’s room. He cracked the door open and saw that her eyes were closed. As he approached the bed, she opened her eyes a bit.
“Hey.”
Nick climbed onto the bed, making sure it didn’t shift too much with his weight. “Hey. AJ went to the grocery store, so I guess I get to be your pillow for the moment.”
She smiled drowsily. “And what a good pillow you are.”
He settled down beside her, not getting too close for fear of hurting her. She grinned at the two feet of space between them.
“If you’re going to be a pillow, you’ve got to get closer.”
“I just don’t want to hurt you.”
She tugged on his hand, and he shifted so that his body curved into hers, laying his arm gently across her belly.
“Is this okay?” He whispered the words close to her ear.
“Mmm hmm.” A long breath was exhaled on a sigh as she felt the warmth of his body ease some of the ache in hers.
When AJ returned an hour later, he found Nick curled around Meredith, his body protecting her as they slept. He grabbed his digital camera and took a couple of pictures to load on her computer later. Settling into a chair in the den, he sipped a glass of tea and thought about their standoff in the kitchen.
AJ thought about why he had been so pissy that morning—fussing from the minute Meredith slowly crawled out of bed to their standoff in the kitchen.
He was mad no one had called him when she had gotten hurt. He thought he should have been the first person notified. He was mad at Meredith for trying to do too much. He understood it and recognized the same quality in himself. He knew she needed to give herself time to heal. He was mad that he couldn’t stay—to watch her sleep and make sure she took care of herself.
He was proud of her, proud of all she had accomplished and survived in her life, but he finally realized that he was not a part of that, and he was afraid that she didn’t need him as much as he needed her.
Fingertips smoothed the frown on his forehead. “What are you thinking?”
“That you don’t need me.” The words escaped him before he could stop them.
Meredith slowly walked around the sofa and sat down beside him, taking one of his hands. “You’re going to have to explain that one.”
“Look at all you’ve done and seen and been through. Why would you need me?”
“Look at all you’ve done and seen and been through, AJ. You perform for millions, are adored by millions. People look to you for inspiration and pleasure and an easing of their troubles because that’s a gift you have to share with others. You don’t need me to do that.”
“But I want you there. You put things in perspective, keep me tethered to reality, help me realize that it’s okay for me to be serious and responsible.”
“And you help me to have fun, to let go and be free. I don’t have to be “on” all the time, taking care of things. I don’t need you to accomplish goals or do a good job; I need you to complete me; to fill the missing part of me.”
“I realized that in all my previous relationships, they all wanted me for something, and as much as I hated that, it also appealed to my ego to provide for them. You don’t.” He looked at her, the solemnity on his face a very different look from his usual joviality.
“At the club, I liked taking care of that guy who was hitting on you, even though I know you were fully capable of handling it.”
“AJ, I took care of myself before I got married, and then I had to learn how to let Andy help me; that he wasn’t going to control me, and he just wanted to be there to provide strength. And when he died, it was hard for me to feel like I was strong enough on my own again. It’s going to take me a while to get back into realizing I don’t have to shoulder everything by myself.” She cupped his face with her hand, hoping he understood.
“I think I understand, and I don’t want you to feel like I’m taking over or anything. I just want you to know I love you, and I’m here for you.”
“I know you are. I just have to convince myself that it’s okay to lean again.” She smiled at him, tilting her head to study his face.
“It is. I’m not perfect. I can be extremely demanding, temperamental, and stubborn.” He chuckled.
“No, I never would have guessed that.” She chuckled with him.
Meredith settled against him carefully, sighing in pleasure as her body relaxed. AJ wrapped his arms around her, relishing the feel of her in his arms. There was still so much to learn about her, but he wouldn’t have traded the chance to be with her for anything in the world.
***Backstreet Boys***
Kevin held management off for three days, but eventually he had to call the two men back to Orlando. He apologized to Meredith repeatedly, in between questions about her health. She chuckled softly as she repeatedly told him she understood; she wasn’t happy about it, but she did understand.
Curran showed up to take them to the airport, and he waited out in his Jeep for them to say their goodbyes after he checked on Meredith.
Nick gently wrapped his arms around the woman, holding her close for a moment. Meredith wrapped her arms around his waist and just leaned against him.
“You be good, Munchkin. I don’t want to get any notes from the teacher that you haven’t been sharing with the other children or playing nice on the playground.”
He laughed, kissing her on cheek. “I’ll be good, Mom. You take care of yourself and let your body heal. Don’t push it.”
She cocked an eyebrow at him. “You’ve been talking to AJ, haven’t you?”
He flashed that famous smirk and picked up his bag. “I’ll wait for you in the Jeep, AJ.”
Another kiss on the cheek, a good rub of Stasi’s head, and Nick walked out the front door. AJ wrapped his arms around Meredith’s shoulders and leaned against her, brushing her cheek with his own.
“I don’t want to leave you, love. I want to stay and tuck you in at night and be your pillow.”
Meredith wrapped her arms around him, resting her hands on his ass. “I want you to stay, too, but you can’t this time. I will take care of myself, and I will allow myself to heal. I promise.”
She looked him in the eyes, and he knew she meant it. He kissed her, her lips warm and soft against his, opening willingly. His tongue stroked hers, a gentle passion rolling through him as he touched her.
A blast of the Jeep’s horn pulled them apart. Brushing his fingers along her cheek, then her lips, he smiled.
“I love you.”
She smiled, kissing his fingertips. “I love you, too, mine.”
Walking him to the door, Meredith watched as AJ climbed into the front seat of the Jeep. As Curran slowly drove away, AJ kissed his fingertips and sent them towards her. She returned the gesture, mouthing “I love you”. Nick pressed his fist against his heart and then pointed at her. She did the same.
When she could no longer see them, she walked slowly back into the house.
***Backstreet Boys***
In their seats, Nick seriously considered getting AJ drunk to get him through the three-hour flight. He was worried about his friend, having an inkling of what he was going through leaving Meredith behind.
“Nick?”
“Yeah?”
“What’s that thing you do? You know, putting your fist over your heart and pointing at Meredith?” AJ turned to look at his friend.
Nick looked down for a minute then looked up at the other man. “It kind of reminds me of Greek soldiers who used to go off to war; kinda like I’m letting her know she’s in my heart, and that although I’m leaving her, I’m taking her with me.”
AJ was silent for several moments. “That’s cool.”
“She’s a special lady.”
“Yeah, she is.” The older man went back to looking out the window as they flew back to Orlando. He couldn’t bring himself to think of it as home anymore.
Table of Contents
Chapter Fourteen