My head rests lightly against his bare shoulder, our fingers linked so tightly that my knuckles are white from lack of circulation. I think the pain I’m inflicting on him will make it easier for both of us to stay in control. I can taste blood in my mouth as I dig my teeth further into the tender skin of my lower lip. My eyes are burning with unshed tears. I’ve been so strong up until now, assuring Nick that I could handle anything and everything, but I can’t keep up the charade any longer. He squeezes my hand. He knows I’m struggling to keep it together.
When the driver turns off the congested highway, I’m tempted to click the intercom button and tell him to take us back home, but that will only make our separation harder. He doesn’t deserve the guilt. We’ve planned his solo tour for months and the fans are eager to hear the new material. His management says he needs publicity to make it as a solo artist, but there’s no doubt in my mind that he will knock their socks off one-way or the other. His voice has matured through the years and I know his deep, sexy sound will amaze the fans. I’m bursting with pride, yet heartbroken that I can’t be with him to support him and share all the new experiences. That’s what is killing me inside.
I look at him out of the corner of my eye and I know what he’s thinking. When our eyes meet, he musters a small smile for me. I reach over to brush the strands of soft, blond hair from his forehead and a smile touches my lips. His bangs are always too long. He probably won’t let anyone cut them until he comes home. He latches onto my hand and presses his warm lips against my palm. I sigh. He makes me feel so special. When he slips my hand beneath his shirt and tucks it close to his heart, the tender gesture reduces me to tears.
He urges me onto his lap, brushing the dampness from my cheeks with his thumbs. When he lays his palm lightly over my swollen belly, his own tears begin to fall. He’s so torn and it breaks my heart. I know he wants to take care of me. He wants to be with our unborn daughter and me. He’s terrified that something will go wrong, like last time. I’ve assured him over and over that he can’t protect me from the inevitable, but we’ve decided to take the doctor’s advice. Nick is going to Europe for three months – without me. It’s going to seem like forever until I see him again. Sure, we’ll talk on the phone and share pictures online, but we both know what we crave most at the end of the day is the warmth of settling into bed to sleep in each other’s arms.
I wrap my arms around his neck and his arms instinctively curl around my waist. We always seem to fit together just right, like perfectly matched puzzle pieces. When he feels me tremble, he tightens his hold and runs his hands slowly up and down my spine. I lay my head on his shoulder to nuzzle his neck and he squirms beneath my touch. He smells clean and his cheek is warm and smooth as I run my fingers over his ears and down the line of his jaw. He’s so ticklish that goose bumps erupt on his arms.
He pulls me even closer, humming one of his new songs softly in my ear and I relax enough to fall asleep. We haven’t slept much the past few nights and I’m exhausted. I stiffen when he gently calls my name and I realize that the limo has come to a stop. We’re sitting outside the international terminal and it’s time for him to go. I’m angry because I’ve wasted our last moments together sleeping. I tell him and he reminds me that I need my rest. I nod. He’s right, but I’m not ready to let him go. Not when I’m sleepy and can’t think straight. I know I can’t go inside, due to security reasons. We have to say goodbye right here and we have to do it now.
“I have to go, baby.” He whispers softly against my forehead. I nod, but I can’t find any words. We’ve been together for so long that we don’t need any. He knows how I feel. “I’ll call you when we land.”
I swipe at my drippy nose with my hand, and then dig into my purse to find a tissue. It’s tear-soaked within minutes and Nick watches in silence, letting me get it all out. When I finally compose myself, he tilts my chin with one finger and studies my face. I know my eyes are swollen, my nose Rudolph red, but he doesn’t care. He knows how much I love him and he understands. He slowly leans forward to press his lips against mine. The kiss is warm, his tongue sweet as he traces the seam of my lips. “I love you and I’ll miss you, too,” he says. I hold him in my arms for a minute more and the limo door opens. He places a cap on his head, to cover his blond hair, kisses my stomach and steps out of the limo. It’s going to be the longest three months of my life.
Stories by Kailani
Spiral Bound Fiction
