Disclaimer:

We at NTD (Not the Definitive) are not, in any way, shape or form, serious. As a matter of fact, we take great care in the silliness of our work. The content of this page has nothing to do with that actor of another name (Tommy Lee Jones), and he does not tell us what to do (really). This page will not enrich your life, nor will it wash your dishes. We at NTD do not like washing dishes, or windows, for that matter.

This website does contain many colorful metaphors, so if the readers of this page are not into that sort of thing, they may leave with all due haste. It also contains a heaping amount of sarcasm, meaning that if you are confused by something we have written, it is best to laugh, just so that you don’t look silly.

We thank the aforementioned actor, for whom this page would not exist, for helping these characters come alive for us and countless others on the screen, both small and large. Without his diligent work, we would not have such classic films as “The Betsy”, “The Big Town”, “Fire Birds”, and “Batman Forever.” The creators of these and other movies can be assured that we make no profit from this website or our writings, and that their franchises are secure.

Also, William Strannix does not exist. He is a figment of your, and J.F. Lawton’s imagination. What a squalid place that must be.

Any similarity to persons alive or dead is probably not a consequence, but you may believe it is. We do not mean any true malice, and will not stalk anyone with a camera and a battle axe in a dark alley behind said person’s favorite steak and shrimp restaurant at 3am while drinking Wild Turkey and singing ‘I am Henry the Eighth, I am’ under our breaths. We would not do that, so just get it out of your head. Weirdo.

So, hopefully by the time you get to the bottom of this diatribe, you will find it in your hearts not to sue us. We here at NTD are broke, and if you did sue us, you’d probably not win anything anyway, except for a pathetic DVD collection, an aging HP PC, and a photo of Dean Martin taken while he was sober. We write these things because we appreciate and admire those whom we write about (really!) and do not mean a bit of harm in any way (see above paragraph referring to the alive and dead people).

Anyone wanting to write stories or whatnot with the characters we didn’t steal—er, borrow, please contact us. We can be very nice if we’re not pissed off about something.

That is all. (don’t sue us, pleeeeeeeease)

-The Management, Not The Definitive (NTD)