You know I heard a woman recently who said that if you write things down, they will happen. And now, I can’t help but wonder if she knows what she’s talking about. She was a relative nobody and one day she decided to write some things down, what she wanted for her life and what she expected for herself. And amazingly, like 10 years later, she had achieved the things on her list. So now, I am taking a leap of faith, I am doing the same. I’m taking a chance. On myself, and my faith. The odd thing is, for some reason I have belief in myself. I’ve never had more faith than I do now. So now I’m doing it. And I’m not going to just do this for myself, write these things down and tuck them away in the far corner of my mind. I’m going to put them out there the only way I know how. The internet. And if, by any chance anyone runs across this, I would like your input. I’m not anyone special or anyone extraordinary. I’m just me. A 20 year-old from a small town in Texas. But I’m determined to make myself happy. That’s why I’ve decided to put myself out there. Hold no punches. Say what I want and think what I want. My whole life I’ve done things and made decisions for other people. I’ve always put other people first. Well, no more I say. I’m putting myself first. And whatever may come of this year, I say let it come. This is my experiment. I’m challenging myself. I’ve always been such a private person and now I’m doing the unthinkable for myself. I’m going to find the real me this year. The me that’s always been there, but I’ve always been to scared to let myself go. And now I’m doing it. And to anyone who finds this site, I say to you that you were supposed to end up here. You were supposed to find this, it’s all about fate. Fate. Can you handle it? Give me you feedback.

Ok, so for my first official entry I’m going to make a list for myself. What I expect from myself this year. Nothing big or shocking just quite yet. But just wait, it’ll get better.

1. Loose weight
No I’m not a big girl…but being a living and breathing women who watches TV and reads magazines I have the same pressures as ever other women in America. Things are expected of us, to be a certain size. And I realize I’ll never be a size 2, I’m just being real with myself. I’ve fought with my weight my whole life. And now, I will do it. I will be physically happy with myself this year.

2. Teach myself a foreign language
I love to learn, love it. I want to be ‘worldly’. I will start to first teach myself French, and then onto Spanish. Yes I realize this will take time, but I want to teach myself. They always say if you want something done right, do it yourself, and that’s what I’m doing.

3. Start and finish Dental Assistant school
Being a person who supports herself financially, it’s hard as hell for me to find the money to complete college. I believe that we are nothing if we do not educate ourselves in some form. So I’m going to learn to trade of Dental Assisting and I’ll do that as a job while I then put myself through college. More money is always good.

4. Read a novel at least every other month
This goes back to educating myself. I want to be ‘well-read’ and it’s as simple as that.

5. Decide what direction I want to take as far as my career
I have recently decided that I would just love to design clothes. Just love to. I’m not going to lie. I want money and lots and lots of money. I want nice things. But I also want to make the money for myself, and don’t want to rely on my husband to bring home all the ‘bacon’. Yeah, it’s a nice added bonus if you have a husband who is rich but I’m not all about marrying for money. I want to be self made. I’ll appreciate it a hell of a lot more. Fashion is hard world to get yourself into with all the Versace, D&G, Prada’s out there. But I will triumph. Mark my words. And damn all those who try to stop me.

Well that’s it for now, my brain is in overload. All this thinking can get to a girl. I promise I will not disappoint myself this year or my faithful readers. Here we go.


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