A DAY AT THE BANK

A Conversation in the Style of – if you don't know, forget it

Firefly: Well, Baravelli, do you want an account?

Baravelli: That's right. Three.

F: Three?

B: Yeah. A'count: one, two, three.

F: Very good. Savings or checking?

B: No Czechs. You got any Italians?

F: Well, Italia-no lies; I was just kidding. They're not really checks, they're drafts; you understand?

B: Sure, I understand. Drafts. Like beer.

F: Yes, they're called a liquid asset. How about savings? Passbook?

B: I got no passbook. I swam across the Rio Grande.

F: So naturally you stopped when you came to the bank.

B: That's right. You got a Christmas club?

F: I was just going to hit you with it. You join our Christmas club, and at the end of the year, you can buy gifts for your friends. Buy them new hats. Make your presents felt.

B: Why should I buy gifts for France?

F: It might Sweden their feelings towards you. Maybe you could leave them a bequest. We could be your trust company.

B: How could I trust you?

F: Where there's a will there's a way. Listen, you can't just sit on your assets. You should invest. How about a CD?

B: Nah, the vest I got is pretty seedy already.

F: Yes. You give us your money, go away, come back in two years, and we give you your money back, with interest.

B: What's your interest with my money?

F: You come back in less than two years, that's an early withdrawal, you get no interest.

B: I got interest, all right. It's my money.

F: You got interest in early withdrawal?

B: No, I'd rather stick around and make a deposit.

F: Servicing your debt, eh? Sowing seeds for the future. That's good. So give me your money.

B: I don't got any money.

F: No money? Do you want a loan?

B: No, I'm not alone. I got a partner.

F: Good. You can sign, and he can cosign.

B: Hey, wait a minute. Sign, cosign, how come we're off on this tangent?

F: 'Cause I know all the angles.

B: Yeah, well I hope you sprain one of them.

F: I'll just have to keep on my toes.