Latest News

 

August 2006

 

Morton 2 had a head on collision with a crunch fixture on Saturday and, for a team of soft-boiled romantics, came through with a great hard-nosed performance.  Chief hard-nosed guy Alan Farrell put in a great bowling performance to dismiss the RH Corstorphine captain, Hoffmann, and put Morton in a position from which they could push for victory .  I think I may have spotted the ghost of a quiet smile playing around his features as his disconsolate opposite number trudged from the field.

 

Morton had been put in to bat first and things had looked grim initially as both openers (Turton & Bell) departed early, disappointing the legions of their fans (2) who had gathered on the boundary to wonder at their prowess. Strangely, surreally, the expected humiliating collapse didn’t materialise. Matt Lancashire came to the crease and scored liberally and stylishly (many runs) before departing LBW, ruefully raising his substantial eyebrows at umpire David Hogg.  Partner, Alan Farrell, hung around all afternoon, scoring freely initially but slowing down as the afternoon wore on. Corrigan and Campbell weighed in with a few runs, with Hogg and Sharma also doing their bit.  Morton finished all out for 158 with 4 balls remaining.

 

On a good artificial track RH Corstorphine will have fancied their chances of bettering the Morton total, but it was not to be (thankfully).  Farrell, opening, did for Hoffman, and the other Morton bowlers soon waded in to grab their share of the available wickets.  Lancashire, precise and persistent, Bell, teasing and tempting, Sharma, full of hurtling intensity all took their share.  Some stubborn lower order batting prolonged the afternoon, but RH Corstorphine were eventually all out for eighty something (89?) and Morton had won. 

 

Ecstatic Morton players gathered in K Jackson’s bar and downed a good few pints of Budvar (Budweis/Ceske Budejovice) before drifting of into the sleep of the innocent. It should always be like this.  

 

 

August 2005

 

Saturday 6 August saw the twos scuffling for league points down at Lewisvale Park in Musselburgh.  The game was lost. The team played well and, for once in the history of this venerable fixture, venerable fixture Eddie Craighead didn’t take a wicket. His team still won though. Morton batted first making 130 something or thereabouts with runs from Lancashire, Belton and I can’t remember who else.  Musselburgh passed the total with three or four overs to spare. For everyone involved it was a very enjoyable game of cricket.  Pints were downed afterwards and everyone wandered off to bed as happy as could be in the circumstances.   

 

Strange and surreal as it may seem there was a cup final going on and Morton were involved. It was the final of the Terry Newcombe Trophy. OK the only way to qualify was to lose a game or two, a feat of which Morton are always capable. Anyway there they were stuck in a final. Bank Of Scotland were skittled out for not too many runs (53 or so). It was then up to Morton to better this total.  Strangely the 2 openers did the business. The Andies, Jones and Morrison, batted intelligently and prudently, racking up the total gradually despite the abuse hurled at them by their own fans who wanted something a bit more flamboyant. Slowly victory ambled over the horizon, arriving just before the next batch of torrential rain called to say hello.  Morton fans collapsed into the usual alcoholic torpor, a fine example for younger players I’m sure. 

 

July 2005

 

18 July saw the Scooby “toonies” traipsing down to Lewisvale Park, Musselburgh to take on the locals in the blazing heat of a Scottish summer. In the car on the way down to Musselburgh Cap’n Farrell had finally settled on a “bat if we win the toss” strategy…….  of course he lost the toss, why wouldn’t he?  Luckily Musselburgh had settled on a “get Morton to bat if we win the toss, it’ll be so funny” strategy  (well they have seen our batting before).  Morton started off with batting legend, and former slugger, Frank Bell at the crease.  Also opening was Matt Lancashire, still traumatised by the thought of Liverpool’s sweaty hands grasping the European Cup (as we older gentleman know the trophy).  Frankie showed immense maturity, nursing a series of batsmen through the innings, keeping the scoreboard ticking over and resisting the urge to howk the ball all over the place. A great innings for the team. Other highlights included Davie Hogg playing himself in before smashing the first ball he faced for 4, Andrew McPherson’s fine stroke play before stepping on his stumps (I’ve done it myself, apart from the strokeplay bit).  Ally Black also came in with a great innings at number 7, scoring 19 and keeping momentum going.   Morton finished with a total of 93 for 8. The total proved more than enough to win the game.  Morton’s Stepford bowlers were on great form and wickets were well spread around, McPherson, Farrell, Lancashire and of course Bull all weighed in with wickets. Musselburgh were all out for forty something. Luckily the fact that I dropped a catch didn’t affect the result. Phew!  

 

MAY 2005

 

Amongst all the small miracles shuffling across the world stage this year none has been more dramatic or unexpected than the late flowering of Morton’s second XI (or no-hopers’ select as they have come to be known). The second  XI seemed to survive into a second season, relying only on NHS oxygen and generous helpings of K Jackson’s beer. However after some subtle tactical adjustments and desperate hair-wringing the seconds are showing some tentative signs of prospering .   Check the pulse of the bonny bairn in swaddling clothes, and he/she/it appears to be in rude good health. Out of four league games played this year the resurgent second XI has won three (check that again, three honest I’m not lying).  Once again the warm weather training in the  cricket cauldron of Alicante’s tapas bars…….eh, …cricket fields appears to have paid dividends.      

 

June 2004

 

There was sad news for every one connected with Morton CC last weekend.  Alan Sharpe, longtime member and much-loved fixture in the Morton team passed away.  Everyone connected with Morton, everyone privileged enough to have known him and spent time with him mourns his passing, and is thinking of his family and loved ones. We’ll all miss you Al.

 

 

May 2004

 

It’s a couple of weeks into the season and things are taking their usual Mortonesque turn. Morton 2nd XI nobly succumbed to their third consecutive defeat down in Dunbar but still seem to be having an enjoyable time sampling league cricket.  At least we’re making other teams’ Saturday afternoons more enjoyable. Meantime our so-called 1st XI are spoiling things by winning two out of their first three league games.

May 2004

 

Yes it’s happened and Morton’s 2nds have now fulfilled their first fixture (check your Morton Dictionary “fulfilled”= “lost”). Weather was fine, unlike the form of Morton’s finest.  West Lothian played unfair by turning up (how unsporting was that?) and insisted on spoiling the game by bowling and batting well. Plus marks to Dan for bowling well and batting like a star while watching his team mates wilting gallantly in the early spring sunshine.  There’s probably a win waiting just around the corner.  Thanks are also due to all the league virgins  who gave their time without hope of glory, step up and take a bow, Rab, Nige, Ainster, etc.

 

 

April 2004

 

Suddenly jumping forward in time Morton CC finds itself at the start of a new season.  At the same time Morton is also about t o step boldly forward into a new era. For the first time ever Morton will be turning out a 2nd XI.  Anyone seeing Morton in the past might have thought that this couldn’t possibly be anything better than a 3rd or 4th XI but the startling truth is that until now there has only ever been the one and only Morton (known to some optimists as the “Mighty ’Ton”.  It’s all changed.  The 2nd XI starts off the new season in Division 8 of the East League against West Lothian III on Saturday 1 June at The Meadows (Theatre of Screams), Edinburgh. Should be fun. Morton’s 1st XI play Edinburgh CC III at a venue yet to be confirmed.    

 

June 2003

 

Tuesday 24 June

 

Defeat! Defeat! Defeat!

 

It was the ParksTrophy again and Morton went down 89 for 4 against 108 for 7 to Edinburgh C.C. And yet it was every bit as positive and enjoyable as last week’s victory in the same competition.   The main thing is we were competitive.  When things went wrong, wickets went down or catches were dropped no-one’s head dropped , no-one gave up. No-one started thinking about their flower-arranging evening class. And stuck in the middle of the game were a couple of really great performances.  Alan Sharpe rolled back the years taking five wickets in a beguiling spell of belligerent bowling.  Andy Jones put in a storming batting performance scoring 53 runs and carrying his bat.  Adam Grigg put in a nice tight bowling performance against a good good batting side.  Alan Farrell surpassed himself , fielding well throughout the game and taking one magnificent catch in the very deep blue deep.      

 

 

June 2003

 

Tuesday 17 June

 

Victory! Victory! Victory!

 

Worlds collapse in incomprehensible confusion.  Sages shake their greying heads in disbelief.  Old Ulysses strokes his beard and wonders at how this long-running tragi-comic odyssey has finally ended.  For 16 years Morton have competed (if that’s the word) in the Edinburgh Parks Trophy. Lots of competing but never a victory…all changed (utterly).  Morton had a date with Scottish Equitable tonight and incomprehensibly came out on top. Scottish Equitable batted first and posted a total of 90 for 6. Morton sneakily delayed surpassing this total until the second last ball.  Nerves, palpitations, panic and prayers were all present during the last over. Details to follow…..  

 

Saturday at the Meadows (Saturday 14 June that is) was another day of hard-fought league action.  I was there to catch some of the embarrassing  wickets taken as Morton batted first at Edinburgh III s request (they knew how prone to nerves we are).  The glacial Dodd was out  for a solid 1.  Alan Cunningham followed having failed to get in to his stride after a solid start.  Turton hung around for a while before getting impatient .  At the other end Andy Morrison did the Andy Morrison thing before departing for a few.  All the time the total was creeping steadily upwards.  Later the same evening I ran into Mark Kinghorn in Cloisters.  He assured me a relatively comfortable victory then ensued with highlights including a storming bowling performance from Andy Jones with 5 wickets.  A fairly improbable sounding 30 and more from Forbes also featured (I saw the first few smitings of the ball from Forbes so I’ve got to assume Mark’s report was accurate). Wickets were also taken by Graham Kilgour and Frank Bell so lots of credit to lots of players.  At the end of the day Edinburgh III, who had bowled well initially and put Morton in some trouble were unable to produce enough batting to endanger the Morton total. Morton’s best season ever (probably according to Morton’s panoply of old farts) keeps getting better…………experience tells us disaster can only be a short distance off.

 

Normally Morton match reports are a shining example of brevity and intensely concentrated cricket wisdom but this week’s correspondent is the formidable Baresi, not really a byeword for brevity. Here’s his report of our nautical meanderings in glorious Cowal

 

Morton Caught Short Dunoon The Water

 

It was a youthful looking (yeah right say the cynics) Morton CC that took to the field at Castle Toward in overcast conditions. The intrepid crew included Richard ‘Tich’ Solomon making his Morton and Cricket debut and Alan Farrell who missed Thursdays destruction of S + N with, what for a Morton Player anyway, was a very unusual injury, (Alan did inform us that it was not a STD) thankfully he has his own box.

Also aboard the good ship Morton were  Keiran Lambert, The Dodds, Graeme Turton and Darren Forrest all in various states of recovery from that most common of Morton ailments, ‘a hangover’. Stuart ‘Son of Stumpy’ Campbell

‘Nasser’ Jones, Frankie Bell and “the Bairns”, Adam Grigg and Graham Kilgour made up the rest of the crew.

In a break from Innellan custom we were required to change in the relative splendour of Castle Toward itself, as there was a function on in the Greenhouse.

Captain for the day Baresi Turton recovered from his traumatic ferry crossing, to keep up the long standing Morton tradition of losing the toss, A Gillies the Innellan captain elected to bat.

The conditions were in pleasant contrast to the downpours experienced by our heroes as they set off from K-Jacksons at 9am and on the subsequent journey along the M9 to the Gourock-Dunoon ferry. Torrential rain gave way to sporadic sunshine and showers

The Morton opening attack bowled well in the drizzle, with Adam Grigg unlucky not to claim a wicket during a tidy 5 over spell which had it not been for the near decapitation of young Marshall with 3 head height beamers in the 7th over, would have been even more impressive than the 0-7 he recorded. It was however his opening strike partner ‘Jinty’ Lambert in his 1st outing since last Sept who claimed the opening scalp in the 5th over, enticing the always immaculately turned out McKissock to waltz down the track to a shit ball which he missed allowing the busy Stuart Campbell to stump him with the score on 16.

Innellan then settled after this early set back with Marshall gaining confidence with every over (Thanks to the Dodds from whom he took 18 off his 3rd over), and Mike Clark putting on 72 for the 2nd wicket. Marshall was unlucky not to go on to his fifty, scoring 47 before skying a Kilgour delivery which both Graham’s performed a festival juggling act between them in the centre of the pitch before Kilgour secured the caught and bowled.

Thankfully Frank Bell was bowling a tighter line at the other end his 5 overs costing only 8 runs.

The skipper having seen the error of his ways with sticking with Dodds for too long (12 off his 5th over), then brought on Graham Kilgour who bowled a 8 overs spell for a frugal 15 runs, with a meagre 1 wicket reward, that of Marshall.

Darren Forrest severely hung-over, bowled his best ever spell for the club mixing the deliveries well. He was rewarded in the capture of 2 wickets, Clark caught Bell, for 27, and A McKissock (son off the immaculate one) bowled for 1.

Pick of the other bowlers was Morton Man of the match Andy Jones 1 for 12 off 2 overs, trapping AC Johnston who scored 11, LBW with his first delivery.

Alan Farrell and GT both bowled 3 overs for 21 and 4 respectively.

 

Tea was taken inside the Castle, with Innellan looking good for their efforts on 140 for 5 on a tricky pitch.

 

The sun shone throughout the Morton reply as Captain Baresi gambled, opening with the bairns, and this seemed to be paying off With Graham Kilgour and Adam Grigg putting on 23 before Adam (4) holed out a Gilles delivery to cover in the 8th over.

At No 3 was in-form Andy Jones and Morton were not to be disappointed with our ‘Nasser’ lookie-likey, And after a steady start and the disappointment of losing partners Kilgour (23), Farrell (3) Bell (3) The Dodds (1) all bowled and, Turton (4) (who top edged a Dunn delivery to a delighted ‘Kissy’ in the 21st over)

Andy started to demonstrate his recent good touch with the willow.

 With Jinty Lambert joining him at the wicket at 80 for 7 with only 11 overs left Andy started to throw the bat at everything down leg side that ‘Higgy’ could feed him with. The shockingly under-bowled Higgy’s only over produced three 6s, a 4 and 1 single to Andy, 1 no ball, 1 wide and not to be outdone Kieran grabbed a single for good measure.   He reached his 50 pulling a short -pitched Marshall delivery over mid-wicket.  The Mighty ‘Ton’ sensed a come-back might be on, we required 25 of the last 3 overs, but Andy tried another big ‘hoick’ off Marshall’s next delivery over deep mid –wicket only to be brilliantly caught by the skipper Gillies.

Tich bravely marched to the crease and faced two balls before marching back again as Nelson’s 3rd victim of the innings which gave him impressive figures of

3 for 4 of 5 overs.

Darren Forrest still nursing his hangover came in at 11 scored a sharply run single, but was always 2nd favourite to a late call and run for a bye, and so the gallant chase fell 15 short. Jinty was the not out bat on an impressive 4.

 

Both teams retired to the comfort of the Royal Hotel for beer and yet more sausage rolls.

 

Andy’s day was complete when his was the only car to get on the 8pm ferry.

He and his passengers though did miss the Dodds and Alan skinning up on the harbour wall for the benefit of the tourists, and Adam not being able to eat his burger in the beer garden of the local hostelry because of the feast the midges were having on him, whilst we waited for the 9 o’clock crossing.

Its only 16 weeks before Morton take to the high seas again with the September tour to Arran. Old Baresi is already checking flight times from Edinburgh to Brodick to save him getting on a “Cal-Mac Bucket”.

 

 

 May 2003

 

Who could believe it?  Morton are on a roll, and the roll just keeps on rolling…………and just for once it’s not

over the edge of a cliff.  Strange days indeed.  Here we have the captain’s own report. 

 

“Morton kept their 100% league record on Sunday with a fine win over Musselburgh on the Meadows.
The weather did not look too promising when the game got under way, twenty minutes late following morning rain. Morton lost the toss and were put in to bat.
Evan by their own slow standards the aged openers were finding it a struggle against a good pace attack. Dodds cruised to 50 dots off only 53 balls and I would have struggled to hit a horse’s arse with a barn door. Cunningham first out, run out (again) for thirteen before umpire A Sharpe decided to put Dodd out of his misery by giving him lbw for 7 (62 dots). Turton and Morrison tried to up the pace but went for 6 and 11. However the middle order came up trumps with Forbes 30 Jones 23 and Kilgour 16 pushing the total up to a respectable 122 for 7, though that required batting on to 47 overs .
Kilgour and D Sharpe opened the bowling and wickets soon fell, A. Sharpe and Kinghorn chipped in but it was Andy Jones with 5 wickets and three catches to add to his runs who showed that he is still a very dangerous bowler for the team. The other wickets went to D Sharpe 2 and G Kilgour 3. Add catches from Cunningham and Kinghorn and this was the best Morton performance of the year so far. Three games three wins. Blimey!!!!”

Next Fixture

 

Saturday 24 May Vs. Musselburgh II  - The Meadows 13.00

 

May 2003

 

Two league games played and two won (plus two rained off) and Morton stand dizzied by vertigo at the top of the seventh division pile (only equal top of course but never mind.  Second league win of the season came against West Lothian III.  Morton batted first scoring around 110 all out.  West Lothian were unable to match the total succumbing to the Morton bowling after some stubborn late resistance (at least I imagine that’s how it was as I wasn’t actually there myself)

 

Tuesday 20th saw Morton meeting Ferranti at Inverleith.  This is always a favourite fixture with Morton diehards for they know that after the game THERE WILL BE PIES in the bowling club.  Morton batted first under gloomy Edinburgh clouds, clouds which seemed to have dimmed the batsmen’s wits.  Wickets tumbled swiftly but Alan Farrell hung on determinedly awaiting support from the bigger guns down the order.  The big guns duly arrived and Turton and Cunningham batted well to push the total on to 85 for 7.  Ferranti in reply could make only 59.  Wickets were well spread around with Baresi managing three in a typical blistering spell (perhaps a little short of shite balls for the purists among us though).  Mention should also be made of Joe Kinghorn (10ish) who tied the batsmen in knots with his youthful pinpoint accuracy.  Coming off the field Morton bellies fairly wobbled in delighted anticipation of the impending pies.  Gnashing teeth, wails of grief and trembling bottom lips soon followed as it was revealed there were to be NAE PIES!  

 

April 2003 – Back in Edinburgh

 

Would you believe it?  The league season has begun with a win.  Morton batted first and and made a steady start to the innings with perennial old codgers Cunningham and Donald putting on 50 in the first 18 overs (no reports yet of the dots situation).  Donald (21) was first to go swiftly followed by Morrison (0) and Turton (1), but luckily the young guns were on hand to save the innings.  David Forbes and David Sharpe (52) steadied the ship and put on a wheen of runs before Forbes was run out (unluckily we think) by a direct hit.  David was then joined by his lithe-limbed brother.  A 50 partnership ensued, wickets tumbled and 147 for 9 was the total.  Heriots batted away but couldn’t make the total.  Fine bowling from Al Sharpe and Graham Kilgour restricted Heriots to 107.  The revolutionary new Burek and Pivo diet certainly seems to have paid off.    

 

April 2003 – Slovenija

 

What can we say?  Playing cricket in Slovenia; it’s the best fun you can have with your clothes on. After 3 days in Valburga, being overwhelmed by the church bells, the gorgeous scenery and above all by the fantastic hospitality and welcome by Ljubljana C.C. all we can say is if any club wants a great time time with some great cricket and great laughs Ljubljana  is the place for you.  We can’t (or cannae) thank the guys from Slovenia enough for the great welcome we received.  We’re particularly grateful to have been gifted the consolatory win in our 3rd game.  So thanks once again to everyone who made us feel so welcome, Brad (sorry for stopping your 4) Tourettes Chris (****ing *****ers ****ing ****ed I think you said), Alistair (The Reverend Al) –thanks for all the hard work to get us there , Tache/Tash/Cantona (if that’s how you spell it) thanks for having a few drinks with us and helping us with the politics , Steve (definitely a six on your last ball to win the game on Saturday).  We all had a great time.  Oh, and Mr Lasko we love you.   

 

January 2003

 

The new season is creeping over the horizon again and once more Morton minds are turning to their battered travel bags.  This year’s pre-season tour will be to lovely Ljubljana in scenic Slovenia.  Pivo anyone?

 

 

More mundanely Sunday 12 January sees the resumption of nets at the Napier sportsdome.  Be there from 4 until 6 if you’re brave enough. 

 

 

November 2002

 

Annual General meeting takes place in Kay Jackson’s, traditional haunt for post-match post-mortems, on Wednesday 13 November.  The meeting starts at 19.00.

 

News reaches us of an intriguing  Cross-Atlantic swap deal.  George “Dubya” Bush agreed to swap former Morton Favourite Richard Corrigan, latterly of various New York bars, for Mike Ramscar, now a former Morton favourite, and his secret stash of 1,700 bottles of vintage wine.  Will Richard once again reach the startling heights he previously scaled as an opening batsman with Morton?  Will Mike take his cricketing career on to further flop-haired glory?  We await developments.  Also packing his bags was Andy Morrison who has ambled off to Italy to teach English.  Good luck to both.   

 

October 2002

 

Annual General Meeting due soon.

 

September 2002

 

Hold the front page.  Historic tidings.  Morton win Sunday fixture on tour!   Yes, after years of struggle the pain-wracked wheezing wonders of Morton finally notched up the longed for victory.  During a short sojourn in the scenic grandeur of Argyle Morton defeated both Mid-Argyle and Cairndow. In the process Morton brought to an end a series of Sunday tour defeats that stretched back as far as the day the first single celled amoeba said hello to mother earth.  Morton’s own remnants from that age celebrated the victory with all the vigour you would expect

 

July/August 2002

 

Mmmm…   July, what does that mean to you?   Clear blue skies and carefree pre-century banter?  Not for me.  So far it means rain, huddled under the Meadows awning, staring gloomily out at the sheets of Northern liquid-misery, slapping onto the welcoming mud-bath, dreaming that one of these week-ends there might just be a game of cricket.  Instead of cricket and Mark Kinghorn’s elegant  stroke play there is nothing but desperate pint schlupping and talking up of our last glorious 5 run stand against the Dadvidson’s Mains under 11  select.  This weekend (August 10?) should be a feast of cricket against the seaside cavaliers of Musselburgh but if your money falls into the clever category get it on rained-off once again.     

 

 

June 2002

 

Great rejoicing among Morton diehards. Saturday saw Morton’s first ever victory over Clackmannan County II.  A fine last wicket stand from Mark Kinghorn and Frank Bell helped Morton push their total on to 119 for 9.  Proximity to the Royal Infirmary looked a lucky accident for Frank who was forced to run 2 threes from the last two balls.  As a man who only runs singles and hits fours, this seemed like the cruellest of fates.  However the emergency oxygen tent was not brought in to service as Frank clumped nimbly from the wicket after making those vital runs.

 

Bowling honours went to Andy Jones who gathered in 7 wickets.  Not bad for an invalid.

 

Next Fixtures

 

Saturday 1 June: Largo II at Largo 

 

 

May 2002

 

Startling developments on planet Morton.  The league season has begun and no humiliating defeats to report on. The first league fixture against Clackmannan II  got going less than 24 hours after our return from a liver-bursting stay in Lisbon.   Given that Morton don’t normally get going until around half an hour after hitting the pub,  it was a spirited performance by Morton with Clacks. Getting the runs they needed to win with only 3 balls to play.  Victories followed against Holy Cross and SMRH leaving a quiet glow of satisfaction on the chubby angelic faces of the Morton stalwarts.

 

May also saw Cap’n Ally Black chasing the great white whale of immortality as he captained his bicentennial select to well-deserved victory against a stuffy if uninspired Jonesey’s XI (bit weak in the batting I’m afraid).

 

April 2002

 

Lisbon & Porto were the venue for Morton’s first two games of the 2002 season but for a while it had looked like the tour would be a total damp squib as news filtered through that no venue would be available in the Lisbon area.  But after fine last minute efforts fixtures were arranged in both Porto and Carcavelos near Lisbon.  Our thanks go out to all involved at the Portugese end for their efforts and great hospitality (that was some chicken piri piri!).  Though defeated in both games there were respectable performances against sides containing current Portugese internationalists.  In particular there was a fine batting performance from Mitch in Carcavelos scoring 96 not out against a Lisbon XI.  His performance was one to rival his performance earlier in the week during “Brandy Frenzy” in that wee café in the Praca Alegria.   

 

 

February 2002

 

After a lengthy break, due to apathy and computer problems, The Latest News page is back.  Looking forward to season 2002 we’re still in Division 7 once again looking hot favourites to finish 4th from bottom.  Again a glamorous pre-season tour has been organised, this time in Lisbon.  Tour dates are 19 April 2002 to 26 April 2002.  To get in trim for the tour and the fast approaching season why not get down to our “Nets at Napier” on Sundays from 16.00 to  18.00.   

 

New Season-Same Old Story 

Morton v Clackmannan County II

 

A dark day for Morton cricket on the first day of the new season.  Morton slumped to their worst ever league batting performance (all out for a paltry 49 runs).

 

News Just In

 

Morton supremo George (Dodd) Donald exclusively revealed news of Morton’s latest swoop into the transfer market .  Promising young fast bowler and burden on the state Andy Morrison has agreed to ditch his dead-end career with underachieving Drummond CC and hitch his rising star to the fortunes of ever – improving Morton.  Asked to comment on his move Andy said “ Shit, what have I done?”.

 

 

Pre-season Preparation  7 January 2001

 

The new year has started and winter’s chill has started to bite so it’s only natural for thoughts to be turning to cricket.  Translate those idle thoughts into action and get down to the nets at Edinburgh Academy Sports Centre.  The nets run from 2 o’clock to 4 o’clock on Sunday afternoons from 7 January.   Once again we’ll be sharing the nets with the cricketing legends of Drummond C.C. 

 

 

Upcoming Event!

 

The Annual General Meeting of the club takes place on Thursday 2 November in Kay Jackson’s Bar.  Among the subjects up for discussion will be the next tour.   There seems to be a strong groundswell in favour of putting Scotto-Spanish relationships under severe strain once more.  Come along and throw in your tuppence-worth.

 

The season is over so there won’t be much latest news for a while.  If you’re interested in some Sunday afternoon nets give the Dodd or Alan Cunningham a phone.  You know you should brush up on your pathetic defensive technique.

 

 

 

10 September 2000

Morton V Drummond

 

Can’t we stop the season and start again?  Can’t we change the record?  Can’t we get in touch with a good psychiatrist? Can’t we grasp the concept of winning a game that is there for the taking?   No, no, no and no are the answers required.  See the previous weeks’ reports for subtle variations on the same theme.  Blah, blah, blah, decent bowling and fielding, blah, blah, wickets fall, blah, blah, blah 134 total to chase.  Blah, blah, blah steady start, blah, blah, blah 12 runs to get, still 4 batsmen left, blah, blah, blah all out for 125, blah, blah, blah defeat grasped from the slavering jaws of sweetly imminent victory, you’ve got to laugh eh?  Next season will be different……….won’t it, wont it?     

 

 

26August 2000

 

The morning rain and overcast skies had initially made it seem unlikely this game would go ahead.  After the game the Morton regulars were left wishing the downpour had been more sustained.  It was a bedraggled, dispirited Morton which left the field defeated at around half past six.  The Dodd had won the toss, and opted to bowl first.  It was a good strong bowling performance, with Alan Sharpe bowling like a man possessed, trying to wipe out the memory of those 62 runs off his bowling in the Boroughmuir encounter.  Top marks to Sharpie for this game.  Mark Kinghorn also played a blinder and provided some fine exotic dancing during his fielding spells (and his son Joe was a wizard at overhead kicks on the sidelines).  But bowling performance of the day came from cash-rich and follicle poor treasurer Ally Black. With two wickets in his first over it was a stunning return to top class cricket for this ancient mariner.  So SMRH were 104 for 9.  A reasonable total to chase you might think.  As usual Morton started reasonably well, but when the collapse started it started with a vengeance and just kept on rolling. Pass marks for Donald, Cunningham, Forbes and Sharpe.  The rest of us were easy meat.  We scraped together 51 runs or thereabouts before skulking off to seek solace in drink.  I don’t know if anyone found it but we all had a pretty thorough look. Oh well. There’ll be other seasons. 

 

 

12 August 2000

 

This was a fine game of cricket.  There were tears of sadness in the Dodd’s eyes as the realisation sank in – the toss had been lost and we were going to have to bat first.  Rebellious elements in the Morton camp had been secretly hoping for just such a scenario for some weeks now.  Surely with the pressure of chasing a total no longer present runs would begin to flow….well not quite.  It was a good performance with each batsman contributing well.  The Dodd scored 55 not out and Cunningham and Forbes also scored well.  The total after 45 overs was151 for 5 leaving Boroughmuir a target Morton thought it might just be possible to defend.  No it didn’t happen.  It was competitive all the way and only as the last 10 overs ambled over the horizon into view was it plain the game was up, or done or lost again.  The big guy (was he called Neil?) carted us all over the park in elegant fashion, and his batting partner finished us off with a six with around 5 overs to spare.  But it was fun and there were no visible signs of a batting collapse.  I smiled a smile of quiet contentment when my prediction of 89 dot balls proved startlingly accurate, and a crisp Royal Bank tenner was soon resting cosily in my pocket.  If only I hadn’t got myself run out so stupidly.          

 

22 July 2000

 

The Meadows was bathed in brilliant summer sunshine on Saturday as Morton went looking for the second league victory in succession.  Sadly the usual clouds of gloom surrounded the Morton innings as batting weaknesses were exposed once more.  Penicuik batted first, and in a good all round batting performance ran up a total of 162. Penicuik offered virtually no catching chances and each batsman scored steadily.  Morton by contrast scored well early on and then came unstuck after Donald, Forbes and Cunningham had been dismissed.  Morton’s final total was a measly 89.  The day was not a complete disaster however.  Alan Cunningham’s 50th birthday celebrations in Kay Jackson’s were a wondrous sight to behold and Sunday hangovers are likely to have been on a gargantuan scale.  Old Cunners outdid himself by making it to 1.30 am without drifting off into geriatric sleep.

 

15 July 2000

 

At Fauldhouse on Saturday it was a basement battle, and for once Morton came out on top.  Some great bowling from Alan Sharpe, Andy Jones and Brussels bureaucrat Frankie Mather meant Fauldhouse were all out for 89.  After an excellent fielding performance it seemed that victory would be the only outcome.  You don’t want things to be that simple though do you?  The Dodd was at his imperious best with 15 runs and 85 dot balls, another milestone in his campaign to inject some light-hearted fun into the grim business of Morton cricket.  Davie Forbes came in and scored a crucial 28 to push Morton towards the elusive total.  Fauldhouse fought all the way and gained momentum taking the wickets of Sharpe and Bell for nothing much in the way of runs.  Graham Turton however was there to steady the ship.  Full of energy after the birth of his daughter (Joy) during the week and determined to get to the pub to wet the baby’s head, Turton put on 15.  With the help of Stuart Campbell (9) and Alan Anderson (2?)  Morton stumbled panting over the finishing line to the first league victory in living memory (O.K. I’m exaggerating but it felt like it).  There was also some brilliant sunshine and Davie Forbes reply when asked by Fauldhouse why he wasn’t keeping the scoreboard turning over. “No bastard’s ’****ing scoring  that ‘s why” I think he said. 

 

 

11 July 2000 

 

Wee Teeny plays a blinder!

 

A friendly at the Meadows against Ferranti.  We got beat but the only performance worth talking about was from Catriona Forbes (11) who took 2 brilliant catches, fielded perfectly and would have scored loads of runs if that big bully hadn’t gone and caught her.

 

1 July 2000

 

Morton travelled to Largo in Fife on Saturday hoping for a solid performance after some disappointing recent league results.  We travelled back to Edinburgh with yet another defeat safely achieved.  Morton had lost the toss and were put in to bat.  Number two Alan Cunningham soon departed the crease having scored a duck.  The openers’ collapse then set in with a vengeance.  Of the top order only the Dodd managed to linger at the wicket for any length of time, scoring his customary 81 dot balls and 26 runs before being caught.  A string of batsmen looked likely to settle down and score well before reverting to type and making a balls of it. The only other bright spot in the day was the performance of “beefy” Frank Bell, who

scored a barnstorming 31 coming in at number nine.  At the end of the innings we were all out for 92.  Largo duly polished us off and we were free to adjourn to The Railway Inn beside scenic Lower Largo harbour where we could see the surreal spectacle of England beating the West Indies.  After a couple of pints and a plate of free sausage and mash the world seemed a better place.  Alan Cunningham brightened up slightly when he won half a bottle of whisky in Largo’s raffle.