This is The Stud Farm List – Read at your own peril

Contributed to by Kate, Sam, Sue, Beth and Mel (with optional extras of Steph and Dawn) Oh, and that

Sociology teacher who forgot to save the work and so doesn't really appear on here (the fool)

1. PAUL GROSS KLN, mm , SEH You know, the funny thing about this one is that he's far from gross! I'm sure you'll agree that that is damn funny! Pant wettingly amusing, for those of us that wear pants.mm. SHUT UP, OK, JUST SHUT UP! KLN. Yes, the pantless one herself has spoken. It's lovely when such raving beauties invade the grounds of this stud farm in response to something written by the wonderous one herself. Don't you agree? I do. I'm still however dazed by the hilarity of the aforementioned Paul Gross joke by the harvester. The harvester. I am in total agruement, of course, you do realise how nice I am by letting you make all these comments about my beloved fiance, don't you? sl'pg'c . Sorry bird. Is he 'good'? I'll bet you have fun don't you?MMMMMmmmm. Woo hoo!seh. Excuse me, but he's saving himself for our wedding night....bastard.....slc. Bastard ,how could he?.seh. Easily by the looks of things, slc try force I find that helps Ahhhh.slc

2. JOSEPH MCFADDEN BLG KLN, WHO?SEH INFADEL HOW DARE YOU NOT KNOW HIM HE IS GOD KNEEL BEFORE HIM.. I kneel before no man! Down on your knees indeed!!seh. I AGREE COMPLETELY, ALTHOUGH HE IS GOOD LOOKING KLN i apologise, I was overcome by his beauty,blg. overCOME?!SEH. You're just jealous blg. OF?, I don't even know who he is!seh. HE PLAYED PRENTICE MACHOAN IN "THE CROW ROAD" AND WAS JUST GOOD LOOKING AND ADORABLE. AND HIS NAME WAS NOT APPRENTICE. PRENTICE WAS HIS NAME. KLN He is in fact one of the most beautiful men alive blg I PREFERED UNCLE RORY ( PLAYED BY PETER CAPALDI).MM. Well, can we explain who he is instaed then please?seh. NO! KLN. Oh, kate, I believe you are mistaken for I CAN explain who he is - a cute actor who was also in NEVERWHERE,mm. LIKE MOST THINGS, HIS ALLEGED CUTENESS IS ENTIRELY SUBJECTIVE. KLN as soon as I can work out what the hell that means, I'm sure I'll be very cross,mm. YOU DO THAT. I'LL BE WAITING KLN. Oh, I'm so scared.mm. I'M SURE YOU ARE.KLN I'm sorry to add this at such a late stage, but I don't find him the slightest bit attractive. so sorry. slc. Ooh, bravery, wow.seh. Who don't you find attractive? Joseph or Peter?mm. You, you whore.seh. Joey babe, sorry slc. I've got a question: Do stud breeders breed with other stud breeders?seh. Well, we've done so so far. slc

3. NOAH WYLE KLN and mm It must be the white coat syndrome, it does it every time!!blg,mm HE'S GORGEOUS WITHOUT HIS COAT!! WITHOUT ANY CLOTHES, EVEN! KLN. HAS HE GOT A PENIS? IF NOT THEN l DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE HIM ON OUR FARM UNLESS HE MUCKS OUT THE BOWLS FOR POO IN EVERYONE'S CAGE.SEH. THIS IS ONLY A GUESS, BUT YES HE HAS A PENIS. KLN . ONE WOULD HOPE.KLN. Well yes but I still feel that one of us ought to check.seh. I VOLUNTEER BLG OVER MY DEAD BODY KLN. I like dead bodies.Seh. Does anyone else have the problem that whenever they try to visualize him naked he's still wearing his shoes and socks?mm. TRUST ME, I'VE NEVER, EVER, HAD THAT PROBLEM.KLN i'M QUITE SHOCKED AT MYSELF ACTUALLY BUTi'VE NEVER TRIED.SEH. You should its great fun and if your like me he will be wearing nothing buthis stethoscope. I am obviously not like you then,sorry.seh. DON'T APOLOGISE! KLN Have I booked him yet?. I wouldn't mind bookin him either, come to think of it. No really. Can I be first in line to book him?- then again, even if I'm behind Kate I can look at her arse. Oh hell, as long as he's not gooey when I get him (MEL) I don't mind too much.seh. I'm offended that you asume that I'll leave him in sub-standard condition. Naturally I'll wash him down, we've got to take good care of our studs.mm. A damn good polishing, I think!seh.Buff him up good and proper.mm. Oooooooh definately!! Woo hoo.seh.

4. PAUL NICHOLLS / SUE (oh, come on everybody, you know you want me!) Me first me first,blg!! Who's second?!seh.

Paul, darling, Lose the Base ball cap. It may stop your brain being taken over by aliens, but it looks shite.mm. I

fancy gerard depardieu as well so beat that with a big beaty thing. It also shows that I'm not crazy.PN. I bet if you ever met him you'd wrap him in tin foil, kinky.mm.And no I won't put kinky pinky as it sounds crap.mm.But my pinky is kinky.seh. But you've just said kinky pinky, Mel, so nur nur nur nur nur. kln. Are we back to this nur thing AGAIN?Well then what is nur?seh.I don't know, ask Kate as she started it.mm. NUR IS THE SAME AS NAHN. I THOUGHT WE HAD CLEARED THIS UP A LONG TIME AGO. KLN. You may try but you may not succeed. I wish I could fly....right up to the sky but I can't....seh. Nahn? As in Narnia, as in The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe? Fact; The bloke who used to play Seymour in Last of The Summer Wine was in bbc 1's adaptation of The L, T W A T W....before he died....Look! The initials have spelt twat accidentally.

hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhah slc. Wooooww!seh. God, Sue, I saw you go mental last night and now you've been sectioned. I'm sorry, but I don't think I can sleep with anyone THAT emotionally disturbed any more....mind you I am shagging Mel on a regular basis, so I suppose....slc. They've gotten to you aswell. Get away, aliens!!seh. Peggy, get Grant, Joe's gone off on one. Joe, love...listen to me...no-one's after me, or you. Slc. Would you like a leaflet?mm.

5. ROGER BLACK I would like to roger black. Slc Err NO!blg Is this the Pot Noodle guy? If so - Gorgeous!mm. Does it matter?- he'll only be eating slop from now on.seh. No it doesn't matter and yes he is a pot noodle. fox. slc

6. DAVID DUCHOVNY mm agrees, Seh doesn't.BLG AGREES WITH SEH He wears a dress in Twin peaks as his character is a Transvestite. Called Dennis/Denise and He's an fbi agent.Called Bryson.mm. Does this mean that he is limited to only playing FBI agents? I always said he wasn't a very good actor. KLN. I think he played someone fbi ish in this film called Baby snatchers.mm. Yes, well you are simply proving our point aren't you? Yes. Well. A dress you say? What does it look like?seh. Well, amazingly enough Sue, the dress is a piece of fabric that is shaped to cover his upper body and legs. I must remind you that although DD is in a dress, it is still DD. Yuch. KLN. A dress!woo hoo.seh. We don't hear much of Woo Hoo these days. Ever since it caused Coma Guy to get hit by a truck. Does anyone else understand what I'm talking about?mm. I HATE TO ADMIT IT, BUT I DO. "YOU DON'T NEED TO BE CONSCIOUS TO BE MY MAN, AS LONG AS YOU'VE GOT BRAIN WAVES I'LL BE THERE TO HOLD YOUR HAND..." KLN. Sadly, I do too. But never mind, just don't tell the studs okay? It might undermine my stud breeding capabilities.seh. Yes, Mel, he was in the film 'Baby Snatcher', but he was a married bloke whose bit on the side's baby got nicked.....it was quite good actually. slc.

7. ROB NEWMAN (slc + seh +mm + blg). Ooh tiger.seh He's got short hair now. Can we still fancy him? Is he still suitable for the stud farm like this? I think so. seh.His popularity may deminish, but he has not yet outdone his usefullness.mm. I think so, yes.seh. yes slc. Yes.seh. ooohhhh yes. slc

8. CHRISTIAN SLATER BLG IN PUMP UP THE VOLUME AND MM AGREES. You know he's sat next to me only wearing one thing. And I think we both know what that is, don't we?!It wouldn't be a piece of body jewelry would it,mm and blg? OOOOOOOOhhhhh yes!!seh. I thought so, I wonder what size it is? Keep on wondering until breeding season starts, please.seh. Does that mean breeding season finished? mm. iT HASN'T ARRIVED YET, HOW MANY OF THESE HAVE YOU BRED WITH? COME ON TELLME!!!SEH.Um, does the answer MOST work for you?mm. Whore.seh. Ah, but what if I was to say ALL? Then what would you think? slc Bragger.mm.

9. DANIEL NEWMAN WHO??mm and blg Dishy young man who was in Robin Hood; Prince of Thieves...Oh, and The Hello Girls with Letitia Dean.......Slc. Wait a mo, I know who he is and didn't he play a kid in RH:PoT? There are laws against your sort,mm. Yes, he was Wolf. A wolf? No, a fox? OH YES ! Slc He was also in "The Borrowers" as some sort of wild-boy, complete with ripped lincoln green trousers and a smudge of black stuff on his cheek.. No, not that cheek Sam. I could quite understand why Arrietty fancied him, indeed I could. KLN Ripped trousers, you say? Anyone tape it? Hmmm? Would the library have it? If so, I'll enter there under the cloak of night and steal the very video, watch it so many times that the picture goes grainy and then cream myself to death. Make no doubt about it, oh no. Slc. I wouldn't doubt it for a minute.mm. I hope you're as sure of your stud breeding capabilities, as you are of this Melony.seh. I'm very capable, thank you.mm.

10. Ewan mcgregor. And Sickboy.seh. Has anyone seen him in Brassed Off, Trainspotting, Shallow Grave, Scarlet and Black and E.R......like I have? Hmmm??? ANSWER ME. slc E.R and trainspotting, Sam. Happy now?seh. WAS HE THE DISHY JULIEN IN SCARLET AND BLACK? (IT IS JULIEN AND NOT JULIAN, I HAVE SUFFERED THROUGH THE BOOK) KLN I can't remember his name, but he was a priest type person. I remember he jumped out of a window naked, and his knob flopped on his stomach. Oh I did laugh....and when I saw the repeat...slc THAT'S RIGHT, IT IS THE SAME ONE. HE WAS QUITE DISHY IN THAT. KLN. How many times exactly have you seen the repeat?seh. Well, I 've seen it twice altogether....that's alll....slc. Oh yes, a night that is.seh. My latest chat up line to said Ewan is now "Hey hot wrists! I see all that snooker playing is finally paying off!" slc. Yes, I'm sure that's all it is. You're snooker loopy!seh. Sad to see S. Hendry get beaten...I would have beaten him. Why, if I was a boxer, I could've beaten him around the ring. Yes. slc. He must be a boxer, he's let me many times.seh. IS STEPHEN HENDRY STILL HERE? STE-E-E---Eve!slc

11. IAN KELSEY. Who? Dead Dave Glover the lover from off of Emmerdale slc

12. Keanu Reeves KLN ( but mm remembered him and put him in the farm!)Why has no one commented? or is every one in agrement that he is stupid yet cuteblg He was, but now he's just plain fat. Nevermind, if he's going to be eating slop, then I'm sure the stones will soon fall off. slc Why would he be carrying stones anyhow? It does seem rather pointless. And just how fat is he? Is it a case of " who ate all the pies?".mm.

13. CHRIS O' DONNELL KLN ( "what belongs in here? seh. Funnily enough, the same as above, hence the " " symbols, mm ")

14. JOHNNY GALECKI mm oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh slc Ohh Phwarrrharrrrrr! ME,blg!! KLN

15. BRAD PITT KLN I want him too, blg So does the entire world. (Except for me.) GET IN LINE!!seh. That should make for fun buggery. slc. So would anything.seh. True, slc

16. MARILYN MANSON seh!!!, say it louder, more people might agree!seh. MM but only the side of his face with the blue eye.Blg will take him too, but she doesn't know what he looks like. I Love everything about him. Including the cheesy costume bit I've got of his.seh. He is the second comeing of god him self. blg I'm off to see him in may, anyone interested? I'm dragging my bloke.seh. Have you heard that the churches in Newport are trying to get the Newport gig cancelled, over claims of the band being 'satanic'? I read it on the telly. Slc Everywhere tries to do that. But no, I didn't hear of it. They're not satanic though, that's the irony.seh.I think there is something horrid and vile and yes even satanic about that sort of thing. How does one READ the TELLY if not through the eyes of belzebub?mm. Teletext dear, teletext. They're not satanic, okay? Thanks.seh.Have you read the letters pages, and you're going to tell me those people are normal?mm. I bloody write to that.seh.exactly.mm.Oh yes.seh I thought I should say, incase no one had noticed or in fact were not paying attention when it was said before that he in a manner of speaking is ............. gorgeous

17. FRANK TATE what?! mm Frank Tate, okay.seh. No,mm.

18. ROSS KEMP NO!! he reminds me of the stepgit, mm. Yes, but he is studly. If you were blind. HE IS STUDLY, and I've got a certificate from the stud farm committee that I've got perfect eyesight(apart from the glasses!)seh. Aren't you he one who put FRANK TATE on the list? I rest my case,mm. I would have if I knew who he was.seh. Sorry, I think I slapped him down (and put him on the list) slc. Christ, I can't wait to get started on these studs! We can both slap them all down!!seh. If we're to successfully breed, we don't want to slap them in a downward direction now do we? slc. Good thinking.seh.

19. ANTONIO BANDERAS seh (only in that there vampire film thing!) fangs phwoorr FANG TASTIC ( sorry) mm and blg You are so not forgiven!seh. Oh, go on then, punish me!mm. Don't tempt me big boy.seh. He's also quite yumsome in Desperado with his huge weapon in his hands.mm I HONESTLY DIDN'T THINK THAT THE INNUENDO COULD GET MUCH WORSE, BUT I WAS WRONG. KLN. Innuendo? Who needs it? Not me.seh. That sounds like a place, does it not? "Where are you going to be next week?" "Me? Oh, I'll most probably be in Uendo." Yes? slc NO. BUT IN GERMAN IN YR 9 OR WHENEVER IT WAS WHEN WE DID HOLIDAYS, I THOUGHT FOR A WHILE THAT EVERYBODY IN GERMANY WENT TO URLAUB ON THEIR HOLIDAYS. IT TOOK ME A WEEK AND A HALF TO REALISE THAT URLAUB IS THE VERB "TO HOLIDAY" KLN. I'm almost excited....getting there...No, sorry, it's crap.. .seh. No, sorry sue, I actually find that humorous. slc. So bloody what, I couldn't tell her that though could I? I find it humourous as well but she might get cocky and scare the studs.seh. We should be encouraging cockiness. slc. Oh yes. I didn't realise.seh.

20. SAM KRATZ seh + slc. Lets kidnap this one in advance, Please?seh. No, he went out with Annelise....I loved her...slc. I'll bet you did. We all did. Well, except for those of us with taste.seh. She had fascinating eyebrows...I suppose that means I should fancy *** ***now does it not? slc. You do don't you?seh. ah, ummm.....welll...No. slc

21. LUKE HANDLEY. How big are his hands?seh. Can it just be stated for the record that this joke sucks big time.Thank you.mm.

You just have no idea how amazing this joke is. Ah well, you're a slapper anyway.seh. Just because I was busy with another client last Thursday, there's no need to get jealous.mm

22. MARK GOTTLIEB Sorry, I put him on here, and I've gone off him now. Sorry. slc I'll have him once I know who he is. I'm not fussy with my eggs. I'm gonna populate the world. seh. Correction; WE'RE gonna populate the world, you can't keep all the studs to yourself whore. slc

23. ALEX FROM HOME AND AWAY, (is that selina's man? If so then count me in! Seh) No, he was Shannon's artist-foxy-long-haired-dishy-bloke boyfriend who hated her in real life and that's why he left. slc. Ah, it's so much clearer now.......mm.

24. TRAVIS NASH seh! + slc and SJ and slc once again to reinforce the idea of of much lust after him. rowr.

25. NAT SIMPSON oooh, incest alert. Look they never proved anything about my sister and I. Stop talking about it! seh. Oh sorry, were you talking about that Brookie babe and HIS sister?, Shit.

26. STEVEN AUDREY ROBERTS SON weird name or what?! What?seh. - Steven Audrey Roberts Son, it's an unusual name,l give up,mm! Give up what?seh. This intelligence, logic, explaining stuff, it's too hard, mm!! Too hard? There's no such thing!seh. Tell that to Arnold Scwarzenegger, he's dead hard.mm. But still not too hard. slc. No, l guess not, Especially if what you hear about him is true and he's only got a little winkie.mm. Oh really?-And what does he use that for?seh.

27. STEPHEN DORFF How many has he got the power of?!- say what,mm? EXPLAIN!! hes got me blg He was in a film called The Power of one. You twat. seh. Sorry l must be the only person in the history of the known universe who has not seen and/or heard of said film. I've seen and heard of it. It was good.seh. WELL, EXCUSE ME ALL TO HELL!!mm. I wouldn't go THAT far, you ickle devil you.seh,. Thank god for your gracious mercy, I am truely blessed,mm. Blessed like a great big blessed-type thing.seh. Thank you, now I am free of that huge burden.mm.

28. BLANK SPACE . please fill with gorgeouus bloke/bird/animal/phallic object..samantha cowlin ....Sabrina The Teenage Witch's boyfriend Harvey - not the sharvester in any way, shape or form. I put my name in here!seh. Did you know that Harvey is Sabrina's blokey in real life....3some any one? slc. Yes, thanks.seh. Also Michelle Pfeiffer. slc. Yep, especially in Batman Returns as Selina Kyle and Catwoman.mm.

29. MATT (CASUALTY) RHG JUNIOR GAMBLE How about the cute blonde gay nurse?mm YES OH YES slc So that's a yes then is it?mm.

30. DISHY DOCTOR DANIEL (CASUALTY). Seh. He can tickle my spleen any day of the week! seh again.

31. SCOTTISH STUD DOCTOR (CASUALTY) I've seen a picture now and NO! Sharvester. Yes, I think so - slc

32. GARY LINEKER BLG AS NO ONE ELSE HAS HAD HIM YET. Who Haven't you been talking to lately? seh We were talking about our gary only yesterday.He seemed to be going down quite well.mm. oh so that's what hes been doing is it? Jammy bugger. I thought he done that privately.seh.Do you think it would work with Marmalade?mm. It does, you should know that.seh.I didn't have a very good view at the time.mm. Oh yes, now I understand.seh. You are so vulgar, you almost disgust me. slc Almost?seh. My being on the peak of disgust really does turn me on. slc. And knowing that, turns me on too!seh.

33. ALAN SHEARER (is he a sheep? seh). No, he just works with them. You know, hearding, shearing, cooking and eating basically. slc. Oh wow, so do you think he'd work for me then? I'd pay him in sheep cack.seh. Now, now Sue, we in the upper classes always refer to it as 'carke', as you should know by now. Oh, by the way, I think my mum's a cricket as I thought she was trying to talk to me in a strange language the other day, but it turned out that she was just rubbing her thighs together. slc

She must be a cricket....or a pervey sweet lady.seh. Is she Jiminy Cricket from pinocchio? Or the crickets from Buddy Holly and the Crickets? Or that guy called Cricket who used to say " ....And there's more"?mm. That was Jimmy Cricket and he used to wear boots with 'L' and 'R' on them so he knew which was left and which was right - obviously. slc. But what if he put them on the wrong feet, then he would be in big trouble, milado.mm.

34. BRANDON LEE seh mm SJ DLM BLG (I like sheep, seh) thats nice blg. I know. Do you like sheep at all?seh. I suppose that they are very nice but I wouldn't invite one round for tea blg Why? They're trained in middle class etiquette.seh. I happen to know some very well educated and nicely behaved sheep, except they have a nasty habit of cacking in the begonias.mm.

It's healthy for them. But it'll ruin my business.seh.

35. EDDIE VEDDER seh slc... what about Eddie Reader I always get them Mixed up-SJ Unsurprising really. See their names?-I do.seh.

36. CHRIS CORNELL (yeh, i'll take this one too! seh) who, mm? Soundgarden. Apparantly Soundgarden split up a week or so ago. Boo Hoooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!slc. Mass suicide anyone?seh. Sorry, I'm busy with the major of grimsby for the rest of my life, otherwise I'd be delighted to join you.mm. Thanks. Anyone else?seh.

37. CHRIS CONNELLY seh slc who,mm? Revolting Cocks.(how could you not have known that?seh.) Quite easily it appears,mm. It's time you heard his voice!!seh. IF HE HAS A REVOLTING COCK, DO WE REALLY WANT HIM IN THE STUD FARM? KLN Good point, well made,mm. Aren't all cocks revolting? Mystery girl. I'm interested anyhoo.seh. Yes, but it's better than having a revolving cock.....I bet you hadn't thought of that had you? slc. No but thanks, you're right again.seh. Am I ever not right - apart from when I'm wrong? slc

38. DAAAAAAAVE ABBRUZZE who,mm? ( sorry sam, no insult intended) who? dlm. My sheep cacked on my lap last night.seh. This is Pearl Jam's ex - drummer. I didn't understand why drummers always move their leg up and down - until Sal Bishop explained that they are actually drumming. You know, banging a drum type thing with their foot. Oh how my ignorance embarrases. slc

So what did you think they were doing?seh. Perhaps it was like those puppets on a string, you know, you move their arms and their leg moves too. SHOCK HORROR!! all drummers are puppets!!! I thought he was just banging his leg to keep to the tempo, you know, so he didn't get out of rhythm. slc. Like you do when I'm trying to get down to business you mean?seh. How do you know these things? slc The alien voices tell her the truth.mm. Hello? slc. Hello.from the aliens.

39. RIVER PHOENIX BLG HE'S DEAD. WE CANNOT RAISE A STUD FARM FROM DEAD MENYeh, but we can try.seh Never heard of Necrophilia ? slc.. I have!!!seh. You can but try and if all else fails I will go with sams suggestion. blg. It's fun!seh. YOU ARE ALL SICK. KLN. You are so sweet to us!seh. I TRY. BELIEVE ME, IT'S NOT EASY. KLN MAYBE NOT, BUT YOU ARE,MM. PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN METAPHORICAL GLASS HOUSES SHOULDN'T THROW METAPHORICAL STONES, MELONY. KLN eh?mm. I really don't understand this saying. I mean, who on earth in their right mind is going to pay money for a glass house? Do they not think? What happens when it hail stones? slc. And yet again, she is right. Wooo,seh. See? slc

40. VAL KILMER (mm agrees-especially in willow) I never knew he was in Willow the wisp.seh. OH, HE WAS. EVERYONE THOUGHT IT WAS KENNETH WILLIAMS DOING THE VOICE BUT ACTUALLY IT WAS VAL KILMER. KLN Ah, but kenneth williams and val kilmer are (shock) one and the same!!!!!mm. But old Ken's dead!slc ah ha, but is he?mm. Yes slc Balls.seh. Yes, the same pair.mm. Woo hoo!!seh. Will you stop it with the "Woo Hoo"s you whore.mm. Look, try and be a bit American for our foreign studs. Try saying "Hey! Quit it with the 'Woo Hoo's' would ya!" ok? slc. How can you agree to stop it with the woo hoo's when you aren't actually the woo hooist,hmmm?mm.

41. WILLIAM BALDWIN (they're kind of wooly, seh) - l hope you are still talking about the sheep there, mm!!?? Am I?seh. I had a huge one on william baldwin once.seh. A huge sheep on William Baldwin? Didn't it crush him?mm. Not a sheep. Well actually I lie. The sheep was on top of me as he was using my penis as a toothbrush. Do you understand now?seh.Is that the penis that used to belong to Tommy Cooper?mm. No, the other one. Strap on dear. I believe Blg used to own it.seh. No, can't be the same one as it exploded through overuse.mm. I caught the full force of the explosion - right between my thighs. Haah! slc

42. RIK MAYALL seh Definately not in Bottom, but damn fine in Drop Dead Fred.mm. No, He actually looks rather dishy on times in Bottom. Bear in mind that I've seen the stage show in Cardiff twice now, therefore I have a far superior judgement to you. slc. I suppose you also fancy the milky milky man, they both have that horrid greasy hairdo. They go to the same barbers you know.mm.

43. VIC REEVES seh, miaow. Roar and all that, seh. Did anyone read that article in the paper about him? What pants!seh. I can't believe that personally, that bird looked like a twat (no really she did, a real twat!). I wonder how much she got paid. too much.definately. I'd buy the paper for that story.seh. What was the Vic story then?mm. Oh, some bird who reckons he groped her. She should be so lucky. We all should be so lucky.seh.I should be so lucky, lucky , lucky ,lucky...km. Ok which one of you tarts let Kylie on the list?hmm?mm. I am Kylie, didn't you know?seh (aka Kylie Minnow).

44. BOB MORTIMER seh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLG AND MM . Bite me Big boy, NOW!!seh.Why?mm. Then this morning I woke up to find my mouth full of cack and my shoes a bit liquidy. Ah well, I'm not getting rid of my sheep.seh. One could fully understand. Why not use this cack as a cheap (but yet so effective) face pack? slc. It brought me out in a rash last time so I've withdrawn it from the market. Unless, that is, you want to use some, I won't complain. Could you just sign a declaration that you are solely responsible? Only, my face fell off last time into the sink. I don't want you to take me to court looking like Freddie Kreuger, like I did to my sheep.seh. Oh god, no....I'm willing to take the risk though...for you. slc. I'll bring some in tomorrow if I re-member.seh.

45. CHARLIE HIGSON (and fluffy, seh) Charlie Higson's fluffy? Gossip isn't what it used to be.mm. But have you seen exactly where his fluff is? Hmm? slc who? dlm. He's not as fluffy as my sheep... .seh. Charlie H. is on The Fast Show, Smell Of Reeves and Mortimer and is the script consultant for Shooting Stars. slc. Which one off R+M?seh. God, loads...Can you remember when the bra men go to the car show room, and Swiss Tony says to them ; "I can see you now, driving in the summer with your top down...".."That's my car stolen, I'll just call the police, then I'll get back to my eggs." Well, that's him. Also, when they do Masterchef, he's the one with his arse in the table. slc. Yes I know who you mean, thanks.seh. I girl has just entered the LRC and her jacket is so crap that it makes farty sounds.mm.

46. PETER EBDON any relation to Mrs ebdon, the stilleto queen? OR DAVE EDBON HER CREEPY HUSBAND,BLG?

47. BBBBBOOOOORRRRRIIIIISSSSS BECKER (.......and have really good singing voices, seh)

48. BBBBBOOOOORRRRRIIIIISSSSS IVANOVICH GRISHENKO ( mm- as if you didn't know!)

49. DAVID USHER seh + mm. Sam, where are you?seh. Underneath Usher the Gusher. His talents have given me a full mouth and better swallowing techniques. I didn't put my name down on this one cos I couldn't read his name as it was covered by both drool and semen. I would have thought you'd guessed that by now. Well, it's not the first time it's happened either. Slc Oh, wow. Can I have him clean before I use him or is it way past that possibility?seh. Oh god, he's so caked in the stuff, it goes beyond cake mixes. If you wanted, i suppose I could get my spatula and scraper out, but I can't guarantee that he won't get damaged. slc. Take the risk, PLEASE, I'm scared of catching something other than those which I already have.seh. Well that isn't a big risk then as I've already given you everything.sorry and all that.mm.

50. DEREK REDMOND who,mm? Why are you asking me?seh. This is that Sharron Davies' bloke is it not? slc You tell me big boy.seh. IT IS. THEIR LITTLE BOY LOOKS LIKE BILLY FROM EASTENDERS. KLN. Sorry, me no no nothing about this.seh.

51. LINFORD CHRISTIE ( 's shorts are full of my sheep's white stuff) What wool? Or .......?.slc. Or....!seh. Thought so. slc

52. STONEFISH FROM NEIGHBOURS (.............I once saw one on Stars in Their eyes, Y'know. seh)

53. JONAH LOMU who,mm?

54. IEUAN EVANS no! Double no with a rancid cherry on the top.mm. I like rancid cherries, leave them alone. My cousin happens to be a rancid cherry millionaire. Slapper, think before you open you're mouth. As I know you don't usually, where would that leave the studs? Hey, hey? seh.

55. ROBERT DE NIRO Hey, you lookin' at me? 'Hey f**k you, you f**k'. Hey, alright. Thanks!seh.

56. MONTEL WILLIAMS Judgemental twat.mm.Those were 2 seperate entries and not me admiring Montelstwat, as judgemental as it may be, it just doesn't do it for me.Had to clear that up.sorry.bye bye.mm. Bye, whore.seh. Yeh, love you too baby.mm.

57. JOHNNY DEPP BLG seh (in a few film things anyway) and mm

58. TROJAN. You know, the funny thing about this one is the amount of sheep cack which he orders from my sheep cack business, every day. He orders tons of the stuff. My sheep can hardly keep up, poor things. I'm almost tempted to feed them more but how many studs can I afford to kill for the extra meat? Bloody gladiators.seh. Well, Trojan's a movie star now - how do you expect him to act? Eh? Eh? slc. My sheep are tired!!seh. No sodding excuse. slc. Tell that to my sheep.seh. Movie star? Is he the one thats Action Man? The Action Man series is banned in the UK anyone know why? And I mean apart from the fact that it's seriously poor.mm. No, please enlighten us, Stud.seh.

59. SARACEN dishy dish dish. slc. Non dishy dish dish.seh. Yes dishy dish dish. slc. Not dishy dish dish.seh. really dishy dish dish slc Non dish to infinity ( and beyond)mm.

60. HUNTER Why don't we ever hear of Gladiators called Buttercup or Hedgehog?mm. BECAUSE, AMAZINGLY ENOUGH, SOME PEOPLE DO NOT THINK THAT BUTTERCUP AND HEDGEHOG HAVE QUITE THE SAME MACHO RING TO THEM AS COBRA OR TROJAN. KLN. Are there rings macho? Ooh kate!seh. SHUT UP, PLEASE. KLN. God, I love it when you're angry, you're so ..... dominant.mm. She's always dominant with me.seh.

61. COBRA (................but it never won.. It never looked much like Debbie Gibson, oh no, not at all, seh) How about Debbies wig? You're not telling me anyone has hair like that?mm. Not even that far.seh

62. ACE (Rimmer? What a guy!mm) No, Ringer. slc No ringer?Why not?seh.

63. NEIL MORRISEY BLG seh mm His bird plays the new Phoebe in 'Good night Sweetheart'. slc So that's the whore. Bitchy cow thing. I'll get her, and then see what'll happen.seh.yes, it would be quite interesting to see you get your beautiful butt kicked.mm. Thanks. What do you say?-about five, behind the wardrobe in my bedroom? Bring the men, please. Mine are tired.seh.

64. GEORGE CLOONEY KLN + mm Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!! sorry,mm.Well, isn't anyone going to punish me then? Go on, teach me a lesson I'll never forget. Please!mm. BUT YOU ALWAYS FORGET YOUR LESSONS, MEL! KLN. I'll punish you: clean the sheep cack out of my shoes.... .seh. " lick it up baby, lick it up"mm Yes mel, stop qoting Winona Rider a la 'Heathers'. Yes, I know these things, I read your mind. slc. And you watch the same films as me you person who knows who Michael Madson and Steve Buscemi are. And I didn't pretend I'd thought of it, that's why I used " ".OK?mm.

65. KURT COBAIN SEH AND BLG - VERY MUCH SO, PLEASE HE'S DEAD TOO SUE.. Really?seh. I vote for necrophilia blg. It's definately on option to be considered.seh. It gives a whole new meaning to "Jumping his bones".mm. Woo hoo.seh. He'd crumble...oh my god, I think I'm going to follow through...slc. Nice and tasty, I believe.seh. Only the best passes the birdseye....crisp cod and shat filled fingers...slc. Really? That's nice, so can I taste it then?seh. Sorry, Captain Birdspoo's got them. slc. Captain Birdseye is a sexist twat. And I bet he buggers Roger the Cabin Boy.mm. How about rogers the cabin boy?seh.

66. THAT BLOKE OFF TERRORVISION WITH THE LONG DARK HAIR (GUITARIST!) SEH (do you mean Leigh Marklew or Mark Yates? - Slc) LEIGH MARKLEW.

67. TIM CURRY SEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLG - WANT HIM WANT HIM WANT HIM Kate

and Mel must admit to being a little confused by this one. He's soooo sexy.seh. I keep getting this one confused with Mark Curry who used to present Blue Peter - you remember; the ravishing red head ( which he frequently showed on TV...a bit sordid, but fun none the less). slc

68. MICHAEL STIPE SEH with or without hair?mm. Without preferably. I don't mind if his legs are hairy though, oh and his arms. But not his armpits, lets have them shaved, please.seh. Yes, hairy pits are yucksome.mm.

69. BRETT ANDERSON SEH (....................is anyone catching on yet?seh) Of course, it's cows, isn't it?Pigs?Hmm?slc kln SHEEP!!!!! blg. Sheep?seh. What is it with people called Anderson being foxy? Pamela, Gillian, Brett, Jerry ?mm.

70. RICHARD OAKES (SUEDE) SEH.--He won't even consider eating sheep cack from my business, Bastard.seh Excuse him, he's merely a youth, time can be his tutor....slc. How much time do you think I've got? These sheep are cacking everywhere. I'll run out of room soon. Plus, If he leaves it much longer business might be overflowing!seh.

71. ULRIKA JOHNSON - SEH, SLC, BLG, EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD EXCEPT KLN spoil sport,mm. I'M SORRY, BUT I CANNOT DISGUISE MY INNATE GOOD TASTE. KLN. She's my friend.seh. I saw a picture of her topless in the paper and she has saggy tits. This is a plus point as she can feed our studs with them. We need all the calcium we can get if we're to re populate the world. slc. Lets get her then. I thought she had saggy balls as well. Could we use them too?seh. No sue, she's got soggy balls....no good to us. slc. Not even as food?seh. Yes, dumplings will do. slc. In sheep carke or commando sheep carke?seh.

72. THAT LOVELY ONE OFF NEVER MIND THE BUZZCOCKS. SEH (Sean Hughes) Well it could hardly be Phil Jupitus, we hope!mm. Umm, no.seh.

73. BASICALLY ANYONE WITH A PENIS! seh + mm(except men with beards) BLG - MY DAD HAS A BEARD. Mine hasn't.seh. I bet they don't have penis' though.mm. I'm not answering that one!seh.

74. FRANKIE/ME/THE REST OF THE WORLD. seh + mm (..........because sheep really are great.seh)

75. PATRICK KIELTY mm YOU ARE BEYOND SADNESS MEL, YOU TAKE IT TO A NEW LEVEL ta muchly,mm. RHG. WHO is rhg?seh. Rhiannon H. Gamble aka junior Gamble. Junior...Take A.Gamble?seh. What does the 'H' stand for? Hairy? Hippo? Honky tonk? slc. All three.seh.

76. THAT WILL BLOKE FROM TFI FRIDAY mm Yeh, Chris Evans is gorgeous isn't he! seh NO! but WILL is, mm BLG AGREES AND IT'S WIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL AS YOU ALL SHOULD KNOW yummy!mm. In tight leather hot pants and red stillettos only.seh. Less Will do ( excuse pun).mm.

77. LUCAS BUCK mm (.................mine once tried to learn guitar. seh) Stud stud stud, evil stud, evil stud, evil stud. Umm, what?seh. He's a stud and he's evil, therefore he is an evil stud.mm.

78. Mathew mcconeghey (or however you spell it - slc oooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) KLN. So, do you believe that he and Sandra Bullock ( Bollocks)are "just good friends" or is she doing the same as we would and shagging his cute young ass off?Answers on a postcard please.mm. See this postcard? Well, if you don't then you'll never know my answer.seh. OF COURSE THEY ARE - WHO WOULDN'T SHAG HIM? KLN. My postcard's nice you know.... .seh. Show us your tits. Slc Sure hot stuff. I'll go to get them from the aviary tonight.seh. Only the red ones, I saw the blue ones last time. slc

79. JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Ditto,mm.

80. TOM HANKS (.................but not in the key of c#, oh no. seh) He was good in big, but there it ends for me.mm. What?-big ends? oooh.seh.

81. SHARON STONE LOOK, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU LADS BUT I DON'T NEED THE COMPETITION!!

Ah but you do, you stud you.seh.No competition, you are beyond that ugly old slapper, even if she also is pantless.mm.

THANK YOU. I THINK. KLN How can you not like her? She wears no pants, what more can you ask for in a woman? slc

It's easier, I'll admit that.seh.

82. CHRISTINE LAING seh slc More hearts, more hearts.seh. I love hearts, I can't get enough of them.seh.That's funny because I love LOVE HEARTS you know the sweeties with the cute messages on?mm. Yes. Yes I do. Thanks for asking. Do you have any?seh. I LIKE THE ONES THAT INSULT THEM. THAT PERHAPS SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT MY CHARACTER. KLN. Only if they have references to pants and pantlessness.seh. And cack slc. Oh yes, and cack.seh.

83. TERRY WOGAN HOW DID HE GET HERE? KLN (.......No, it was F minor. It was Y'know, seh) THIS GUY IS DEFINITELY NOT A STUD DLM. Wrong. He's a stud by anyone's standards.seh. Come off it, anyone who willingly commentates the Eurovision Song Contest WILLINGLY each year gets my vote. slc. WOOOOO, I love him. I dreamed about him when I was younger. Isn't that nice.seh. No.mm.

84.BJORN

85. AND BENNY

86. AGNETHA (............it gave up and ate a cheese cake. seh) - l like cheesecake, was it strawberry,mm? No, It was cheese flavour.seh. What about the other one, I bet she's felling left out even if she is royalty.mm

87. ANNA POWELL FOR WHAT PURPOSE EXACTLY?. Any. I'm not picky. seh. For her cooking skills and wazzle pair of jugs. slc. What else?seh. Not for her coat.mm.

88. JOE, SAV, VIV, PHIL, RICK.(Lee's favourite birds) LEE'S A TART - I SHOULD KNOW SLC shouldn't that be Dave Dee, Dosy, Beaky, Mick and titch?SJ Do you mind???!!!!.....Yeah, I suppose it should be....slc

89. JASON DONOVAN He's gay you know.seh. He's denied this alot, but he did then go and dress up in drag.mm. Yes.seh. DO WE CARE? KLN. I do, boo hoo hooooooo..... I'd like to make a stand for the silent majority. Will you let me be silent?seh.

90. KYLIE MINOGUE She's not. Well going by the fact that she turned me down.seh.Turned you down you say, blind slapper. We know her problem. She can't get it up.mm. She can't get anything up when you're around. And ya mothers are whores. Yes, all of them.seh. Yeah, but I bet mine's the cheapest. slc. No, your mums the scabbiest. Seh. Hmmm...True. slc

91 TO 95. DANNY, DONNIE, JORDAN, JOE AND JON (NKOTB). Does anyone realise just how good value my sheep cack actually is? We could invest in more sheep to feed the studs on. We have got to feed them you know. This cack...It's only (roughly) £1 per ton and a half. Now that is good value. And what about my cack?-Does anyone want some of that? Yes?seh. Uninteresting fact no. 329 - The term CACK is derived for the italian word for Faeces, CACA. Didn't I say it was uninteresting?mm. Sheep cack anyone?seh. My next door neighbour has Greek relations, and she was the first person I heard say caca. I was well amused. Slc When?seh. About ten years ago. slc. Oh that's lovely, that really is. I wish I had been there to hear the very words.seh. Sadly, as I was but a youngster the words meant very little to me. Oh how I regret that moment of ignorance now. slc

96. CINDY CRAWFORD (...............off my buttocks, in the nude. Seh) Phhwwwoooaaarrr!!!!blg. The buttocks were nude too Y'know.seh.

97. VAL KILMER ( AGAIN) We would remove this mutiple entry to make space for better entries, but there's a conversation later about how he's on here 3 times and it just wouldn't work then. So we won't.bye.mm. I'm not even going to bother to make some crude comment about multiple and better entries. Why, that would be just too predictable...slc. Grunt.seh.

98. MEL GIBSON. I can't see the fascination with this one.seh. Have you seen him in Lethal Weapon 3 with long hair and that boyish grin?mm. No but my friends dad looks like him. Ah ha ha, DAD do you hear me? DAD! he does as well.seh. Which friend? Got her address?mm. Yes thank you.seh.

99. THE MR MEN WHAT, ALL OF THEM? (...........talking about nudity, how's your arse these days Kate?, seh)

100. PAUL MCGANN ( GOOD ONE SAMMY, FROM mm ). D'ya know, I was devestated to realise that the other thursday, he was at a conference thing in Cardiff Wales Airport.....and I didn't find out until days after. What a bummer. Slc

Don't worry, be happy. We all like a good bummer.seh. Only from you, king ring. slc. Promise?seh.

101. PEE PEE AND POO POO, FROM EUROTRASH. Oh and not forgeting 101B: JEAN PAUL GAULTIER'S KILT. As I'm really amazed by how he wears it comfortably and it always resists the temptation to grope his arse. Amazing.seh. Especially considering the number of times we hear about people being sexually assaulted by items of their own / or other peoples clothing,mm. It 's definately amazing. Personally, as his kilt I would sneak a sly grope every now and then. I would also turn myself around so that I could view 'other parts of his anatomy' FULL FORCE. way hey.seh. Well, aren't we being coy today.mm. Coy? I'm dreaming in my own world!!seh. Hang on! Who used to be here? I'm sure these are new, am I right or AM I GOING MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD? slc. You're right, and even larger left. No, you're just jug-tastic!!seh. Ok, but that still doesn't answer my question. slc I don't know, someone did though. I typed over them.seh. Well cheers Miss Get To Soddery And I'll Join You There Harvey. slc. I knew Elizabeth couldn't be her middle name, it's way too normal.mm.

102. CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON Has anyone seen him in Shallow Grave, Hillsborough, Let Him Have It? Yes, I would by the way, before you ask.......Slc I've seen him in Let Him Have It, but I was far more interested in Paul Reynolds in it to pay much notice to our christopher,mm. Boo Hoo, I don't know what you're talking about, I'm sooooo lonely. Boo hoo.seh.Some guy that I and I alone fancy ( it seems).Never mind.mm. I'll still breed with him though.seh. He's cute, but doesn't have the necessary requirements to become a fully fledged fox I'm afraid. slc Hang on, you know who I'm talking about? Will you please stop that you're shocking me too much.mm.

103 TO 107. LEE, MIKE, MATT, EVO, MARK. I love them alll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Slc. Yes, she does too. I'm joking by the way.seh. I'm not. slc. Ah, butt you are.seh. No..slc. Evo, is that Andrew Evans? I went to school with him.mm.

108 AND109. THELMA AND LOUISE (...............it's rather nice Y'know. Seh)

110. CHRISTINE'S CLIVE Every bird likes this one! Yes, penguins, budgies, pidgeons, crows parrots - he has to beat them off with a stick he does.mm. It's nice to know really. I wish I could have such fun.seh. Break into the Hawking Centre and you to can share in this experience.mm.

111. STUART LEE Who? "comic" partner to 112. Who wades in sheep cack every night at about midnight. He's often asked nie young women back to join him. Somehow he always returns home alone. What the hell is wrong with this world? What is WRONG with sheep cack? What is wrong with these women? They're mad I tell you, MAD!!! Sheep cack is great, let me tell you. It's great, It's one of my best hobbies. It's a hobby!!!!! It's a good hobby, It's lovely and tasty!!!seh. Can chocolate be my hobby?mm. And could all this wading about in huge piles of steaming cack explain why Lee and Herrings jokes are Cack! Could the fumes have been too much? Am I really a banana?mm. If you are, can I put you somewhere safe and warn and moist? Please?! I want to... . SeH. Only if you have a bearable bend. slc. This banana is not bent. But you are.seh. Bananas aren't allowed to be bent anymore, the ec said so.mm. Maybe so but your's is.seh.

112. RICHARD HERRING FOR THE LAST TIME, LEE AND HERRING ARE NOT FUNNY!I don't seem to have read anything about the first time you said they weren'y funny. And the recurring Moon On A Stick gag was pretty bloody amusing.mm. THE OTHER TIMES WERE VERBALLY MEL. AND THE MOON ON A STICK GAG IS AS FUNNY AS MY ARSE, WHICH IS PRETTY DAMN UNFUNNY, LET ME TELL YOU. KLN. Things without pants on are not funny! (You forgot to say that Kate.)seh. Oh, I don't know, there's many a time I've giggled at your bottom, it's a regular Laugh Riot.mm.

113. HUGH GRANT NOOOOOOOOOOO!

114. LIZ HURLEY

115. DAWN MORRIS SEH, BLG, JOHN MAJOR, TONY BLAIR ( just keeping topical), TONY THE TIGER GRRREAT,mm.

116. DAWN FRENCH You know, the funny, if not hilarious thing about this one, I'm sure you'll agree, is that she is not REALLY french!, now isn't that just damn good?! Can you be sure? She may have distant French relations. Ahhhh, I betcha didn't think of that. Slc. Ummm, oooh, Oh hell, how should I know, Slapper? seh.Because you are her love child. AHA!! the truth really is out there!mm. Bugger?seh. No, thanks...just eaten. slc. Bugger anyway?seh. Oh go on then.slc. Wow, that was good! Thanks.seh.

117. JESSE SPENCER (..............it'd make a good couple with my sheep. seh) WHO IS JESSE SPENCER? KLN This is Selina's (ex) bloke off of Home and Away. His real name is Ben Unwin (not that I read the credits). Slc Of course not, who'd ever say?seh.I thought that Jesse was the name of the kid off neighbours who plays Billy boy.mm. What?-like really plays him? And they put that on tv? Well I never!seh.

118. DAVE CHARNLEY ( from drop the dead donkey, you know the one) No, I bloody well do not! seh NEIL PEARSON

(still clueless on this one, seh) See Mel for details,mm. He's also in the new film 'Fever Pitch'. slc He's about to build up

a fever here with us, you know.seh.I didn't know about this film.mm. And he was in Between The Lines. Go into a video shop, look for a video of said TV series and observe the picture of him on the front. Then, and only then will you fully understand.slc He's a cack eating son of a donkey and a witchdoctor. Oh and, plus he's ugly.seh. And so are you, your point being?mm. Don't put your point on display if it's not decent. slc. Follow Sam's example. She's always sweet and innocent.seh. Booyacka. slc

119. "HOWLING MAD" MURDOCK. Ok so I seem to be alone on this one probably because A). You don't remember him and B). He's weird looking .but tough. I've liked him since I was Four and I can't just let go ok.mm. I remember him he was the weird one, right? blg Absoluwhat.mm. I remember him. I just don't have a pash for him, s'all.seh.

120. JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME( AGAIN, BUT THIS TIME WITH AN 'E' ON THE END) E?- last time someone forgot the E,mm. How d'you know? You may be wrong after eating all those woodlice last night; naked at the bottom of your garden.seh. ARE YOU INSINUATING THAT I AM THE SORT OF PERSON WHO WOULD BE IN A GARDEN!! ANYHOW,I KNOW HIS NAME IS SPELT THAT WAY BECAUSE HE SENT TINKERBELL THE LEATHER CLAD FAIRY TO TELL ME SO.MM.So you don't deny the woodlice then.Just the garden?seh. ABOSUTELY,mm. Aboslutely?what the hell?seh. Only on a good day can you find What in hell, normally he's in What the Fuck.We haven't stared this stud farm to be rude. You crude dude.seh. REALLY? YOU AMAZE ME. KLN. Thank you. I'm a fairly amazing person really. Most people come to me in corridors and everywhere else, saying: OOH SUE, YOU REALLY ARE AMAZING. wow.seh.So when exactly is that meeting for conGENITAL lairs?mm. Today, at one, see you there, as usual.seh. LAIRS OR LIARS? KLN. Both yet neither.seh.I often invite peole to my lair. For some reason they never arrive. I never was much good with directions, that must be it.mm. Yes, that's it. I've asked them all.seh.

121.BLOKE WHO KATE HAS ASKED TO BE REMOVED FOR GOOD REASON. (.............and my face. seh)

122. CHANDLER BING mm SEH BLG babe of great proportions. I'm glad I'm second in line now!seh. Apparently he's going to come out sometime.mm.

123. ROSS GELLER Any relative of uri? I hope so, but no-one's answering you.seh.If so don't let him near Mr. Spoons.mm.

Diamond Geezer?seh.

124. JOEY TRIBBIANI NO, NOT HIM. HE REMINDS ME OF SOMEONE (yes, my mum, seh)

125. RICHARD PERINSKI ( caroline in the city - mm) OR KORINSKI, EVEN? KLN In episode one he was Perinski - for reasons unknown they changed it mm. ARE YOU SURE? OR ARE YOU TRYING TO COVER UP A MISTAKE? KLN No, you listen, I've got episode one still recorded and it is PErinski.mm.

126. SUSAN HARVESTER seh, BLG. Yuck! No way ( say one million slugs who've already had her, and found out that she was slimier than they were.slc.) (ooh, controvertial,mm!) I may be slimey but I'm not as fat as your mother!seh.Who's mother?mm.

Everyone's, picky ho.seh. I guess that all the mums all together would be rather fat so that's no mean feat.mm

127. PATRICK SWAYZE (...............Sheep?seh) Is that in his Wong Foo dress or not?mm. Wonky Foo more like. slc

128. PATRICK STEWART BALDY

129. MARCUS SCHENKENBURG who,mm? A bootifull model who looks like Barry White.seh. SINCE YOU ARE BARRY WHITE, SUE, ARE YOU COMPLIMENTING YOURSELF? Bollocks, as if.seh.

130. RONAN FROM BOYZONE Not even if l were dead, and l'm hardly picky,mm! Do you mind? HE IS IRISH!!! What's wrong with Irish people?seh. Exactly, they're lush...I'm irish...slc You never told me, you sheep.seh. LOOK, l'M IRISH (ISH) AND I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST THE IRISH (STORY OF MY LIFE) BUT RONAN IS UGLY AND BOYZONE ARE RUBBISH!!! Who are you, mystery person?seh. THIS IS THE VOICE OF THE POLTERGEIST!!!!! Ooh scary.seh.

131. STEPHEN TOMPKINSON only in Drop the dead donkey - and Brassed Off slc - oooooooooohhhhhhhh I THINK SO,blg.

132. ROBERT SMITH seh, he's a COMPLETE stud! SJ SJ and yes SJ again. Who died and made you lord supreme? I fancy his arse too!SEHSEHSEHSEHSEHSEHSEHSEHSEHSEH! HAVE YOU TWO CONSIDERED PSYCHIATRIC COUNSELLING FOR THIS STRANGE ROBERT SMITH FANCYING DISEASE? KLN. They are going to the same Doc. as me and you've seen the improvement in my mental health, mm!. I love him so much.seh. Who? your psychiatrist? I love my psychiatrist. His name is Doctor Niles Crane. Honest. mm. No not my psychiatrist; Robert Smith.seh. Kate face it the man has a birth mark that reads "stud" SJ. Stud?what's a stud?seh. WHERE IS THIS ALLEGED BIRTHMARK? ON HIS ARSE!!! ALL I SEE IS AN UGLY GIT WITH A BAD LIPSTICK PROBLEM. KLN My Auntie looks like that though.....Slc.I find it hard to believe you don't like his lipstick. To tell you the truth I do my lipstick like that when I go gothic.sharvester. I hate it when you tell the truth " tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies...." Bananarama, Woah! Shakespeare eat your heart out.On the other hand don't.mm.

He didn't have one; He was a robot.sharvester.

133. CHRIS BARRIE miaow, seh pppurrrrrrr - slc. God I love it when you do that. seh. pppurrrrrrr slc

134. BETHAN NASH, Wow,seh PHWOAR YEAH SAYS BLG what a stunner - slc She's damn good, if you know what I mean.seh. But a bit mouldy around the edges. over use I suppose. slc. No, just infected by you.seh.

135. HELEN BRITTAS (..............okay, does anyone know my sheep's name? seh.) Derick. Glad to be of assistance, blg. Thanks but you are wrong you foolish old tart.seh. I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT BLG IS A VERY INTELLIGENT OLD TART.MM. Really? Well would you have guessed that on your own?!seh.

136. TIM yep says mm SORRY TO SPOIL YOUR DREAMS BUT HE'S GAY . AND? SAYS BLG AND MM

And, double the fun! seh.

137. GAVIN - LUCKY BASTARD, MM " " LUCKY LUCKY BASTARD, BLG lucky lucky lucky bastard blg He's lucky enough to be him. She's a bird.seh.

138. DR.ROB KHALIFA (ALTHOUGH HE IS DEAD) What do you mean although?-It's more fun that way.seh.

139. DEAN CAIN Bite Me, if you dare, seh. And I mean DARE. seh. Call me odd, but WHY? Why would you want to be bitten? I bet you annoy Dobermanns on purpose just so they'll bite you. Masocist.mm. Masochist, mel, use the 'H'. Come on, don't be stingy with your letters. slc. Bloody dogs, they take so much time to antagonise.seh. I've told you before, just wave a lump of fresh meat in front of them, it works every time.mm.

140. ACTOR FORMALLY KNOWN AS SIDDIG EL FADIL, KLN ONLY FOR HIS ACCENT AND THE ONE CAMERA ANGLE OUT OF TEN THAT MAKES HIM LOOK ATTRACTIVE now what is he known as? Come on tell me!!, seh (Alexander Siddig mm) Thankyou. seh. Didn't know who he was at first, but then it struck me (ouch!) - the bug eyed doctor! Blg Bug Eyed? No doctor has bug eyes, it'd be unhygienic.seh. I suggest you only comment on that which you understand in future. ( at last some peace and quiet!).mm. I understand sheep cack businesses and sexy birds.seh. I think you said enough about those too.mm.

141. STEPHANIE JONES. Ooh, baby. Seh SJ again methinks how can anyone disagree. Kinda by saying 'no'. So now you know, I can't believe it has taken this long.seh.

142. STEPHANIE BEECHAM., who? seh classy middle aged babe, mm. What, Any classy, middle aged babe? seh. - yes, you've got it in one, well done,mm. Thanks, you know, I'm thinking about doing that at doctorate level. (Getting it in one).seh. You're always getting it in one. Or the other.mm.

143. SAM'S MUM., She's a hot babe, with hot thighs and lungs which would make any donkey jealous., seh Why? is your donkey easily antagonised?mm.

144. SAM'S NAN. ( does SHE like my sheep?) She is wooly, so I'd think so. slc. That's good because my sheep'd like her.seh.

145. KIRA NERYS Oh... Oh what exactly?seh. Who? slc Bajoran Babe from Star Trek Deep Space Nine who kicks Cardassian ass.mm.

146. AGENT SCULLY is 5' 3" the perfect height in my opinion.mm.

147. JEAN-PAUL GUALTIER SEMI BALDY Liar!seh. Good in a kilt if you ask me, maybe we could allow this one clothes in the cage. Just the one item mind you, but still, it's more than the rest of them get!seh.

148. DAME KIRI TE KANAWA who looks like a banana. Honest!mm. She is a banana. She told me so.seh.

149. ED CHIGLIAK yep says mm. Miaow.seh. I'll be bringing the Northern Exp. book in on Monday if anyone is unclear on this one.mm. But you didn't did you?seh.

150. RYAN STILES mm agrees slc says "wahey!" I don't know what I say but I think it's muffled by the groaning anyway.seh Has anyone seen him on that advert? I think it's for Kentucky Fried Chicken or something. Anyway, he's dressed as a FIREMAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Slc I've seen it, yes it IS good.seh.I'VE SEEN IT. WHAT ARE YOU LOT SO EXCITED ABOUT? KLN Bethan says phwoaaaaar!!!blg Kate's making goldfish noises at me! blg JUST REMEMBER WHO'S TYPING THIS FOR YOU, GOLDFISH GIRL. KLN Goldfish?mm.. Gold? Fish? seh.

151. COLIN MOCHRIE BALDY Cutie. Seh. - yeah, you just want to tickle his chins,mm!. Do you mind, I'm not likely to settle for that am I?seh. As a matter of fact, l think you are,mm!. Oh bugger, you have realised.seh.Yes indeedy,mm.

152. ZOE FROM CYBILL

152.B. CYBILL FROM ZOE

153. DARLENE CONNOR

154. PIGEON FROM "PIGEON STREET" coo.mm.

155. MISTER COW This is an unnamed comment, I am just writing this to see if anyone can guess who I am.

First correct answer gets 2p. Oh go on. You know you'll like it big boy(s). Strictly speaking it's not a comment.

Lets talk about mister cow. Please bethan gamble.seh. Go on, guess again! and it's not take a Gamble, ohhh nooo.

You fat cow. WOULD THE UNNAMED COMMENT BE MR SAMANTHA JOSEPH COWLIN, MAYBE? DO I GET THE 2p? I recon it's Kate tring to trick us. Yes, see me for the 2p you hot tart. Slc. woo hoo.seh. Once again the appearance

of 'woo hoo' indicates that the evil stigma attatched to it has been abandoned. mm. Woo hoo.seh. stop it.mm.

156. DC BURTON FROM FROST 156B FROST FROM DC BURTON.

157. THE CUTE, CAMP ONE IN THIN BLUE LINE - Goodie (I think he is) you mean Kevin Goodie, mm. Goodie's not the word I'd use!!!! seh What word might you use then? Lets have a readers vote as to which words we can use.mm. Stud? seh.

158. PAULY SHORE oh, yes mm. Oh Yes, Yes. seh. But not in all films. Stay away from bio-dome, it's sooooo so poor. Son in law is good though, oh and california man.seh. I was going to watch Bio Dome as the trailer rocked. Guess I won't now. He's also in some army thing.mm.

159. PIGEON IN "STOP THE PIGEON". How about Mutley.Hee hee hee.mm. Woof.seh.

160. PIGEON IN TRAFALGAR SQUARE. Only cause he shat on you and made you horny with his pecker.mm.

161. MOST BLOKES WHICH APPEAR IN SAUCY DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

162. THAT BLOKE THAT SAYS "STEADY, STEADY" ON BULLSEYE. (tony) Am I the only one who believes that this is the best one on the list????????????????slc YES. OH YES. YOU CANNOT BELIEVE HOW ALONE YOU ARE. KLN Oh. Slc. It is, however a very amusing entry, he never fails to raise a smile to my lips,mm. Which lips?seh. I like amusing entries. They always liven things up. Right up. Oh yes. Slc

163. SIMON, THE GUITARIST IN THE CURE. (he wore a skirt on stage in the CIA.)

164. THE GUY IN THE TONI BRAXTON VIDEO. Which one,mm? THERE IS ONLY ONE, AND YOU CAN'T MISTAKE HIM FOR ANYTHING ELSE! Except for Toni Braxton. seh. - Look, how many songs has Toni released? And each one has a video - SO WHICH VIDEO YOU FOOL!!!????mm. Listen to her, she's evil.seh. THE ONE ABOUT CRYING - "UNBREAK MY HEART" OR SUMMAT. WHICH ONE DID YOU THINK I MEANT? I'M NOT REALLY IN THE HABIT OF FANCYING OBSCURE MEN/WOMEN/SHEEP AS SOME PEOPLE SEEM TO BE. KLN how was l to know it was your entry - YOU DIDN'T INITIAL IT,mm. Sheep?seh. What?mm.

165. TONY SLATTERY. (He's a stud Y'know) (I WILL ONLY LET HIM LIVE IF HE IS GELDED)NEVER, NO EXCUSE, NO!!mm Gelding is too good for him,blg.The basic removal of everything below the neckline should suffice, blg. Only if I can keep it all.seh. Deal sold to the lady on the right. She's welcome to it.mm.

166. TONY SLATTERY'S BALLS Yuk,mm DOESN'T THIS ONE COME UNDER THE ABOVE (NO PUN INTENDED)

She said he was Gelded. LOOK IT UP (no pun intended) Seh. OOOOOOhhhh, ahhhhhhhh, mmmmmmmm......

.....SHEEP!!!!. better, much better, thanks.seh.

167. GREGORY GALLOP. Who,mm? Who? seh. If you don't tell me I might shoot him by "accident" on night patrol. seh. YOU SHOULD KNOW SUE, YOU MADE HIM UP! KLN. Bugger, i forgot. seh. - will someone please explain this, aren't l confused enough already,mm?. So you should be, I'm confused and am in the conversation! seh.

168. SCOTT SPENCE-HILL Sue and Kate's Pen-pals.

169. AUSTIN DONALDSON. I'm not so sure he's my penpal any more. Ah well.seh. I will be sue!!! slc. Oh, that's nice of you, thanks. Write to me then. W.........B.seh. W....B? WHat does that mean? slc. The first letter of my address and the last. Dull whore.seh.

170. CLIFF RICHARD. (sue's first proper crush) Hee Hee, mm!! No, He He. Seh.

171. ANYONE WHO MAKES A REALLY GOOD CAT NOISE. (LIKE MIAOW, OR SOMETHING SIMILAR.) What about GGRRRRRRR!!!!! ? I'm not sure, say it again.seh. Oh and leave your name this time too. seh. I said GGRRRRRRR!!!!!, and it's mel here, happy now?. Yes, thankyou.seh. Oh sorry, yes GGRRRRRRR is lovely, you stud lover you.seh. Stud lover,eh? I could get used to this, GGGRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!mm. Stud Lover!!seh.

172. JAMES SPADER mm OH MY! - slc. Your waht Exactly? seh. Arse. slc Do you prefer him in Stargate or Sex Lies and Videotape, wait a moment, l think l already know this answer,mm> I'm waiting, what about everyone else?seh. THEN WAIT A BIT LONGER,MM!!! Longer?!seh. I prefer him in my bed weraing a cheesecloth on his head. cheesecloth? No, a see through chiffon scarf. Slc Anyone here planning on seeing Crash now it's been given a certificate? James Spader is one of the principal characters,mm.I would have thought so YES, I'll be there.seh. CLaaAss slc

173. BARBARA STREISAND

174. THE MAN IN THE BATH OF MARMITE ON THE AD (IT COULD BE CHOCOLATE). I hope it is. I don't like marmite. Can it be Slimfast milkshake, only, I'm on a diet. seh. STOP DIETING SUE, YOU DON'T NEED TO!! THE FAT FAIRY Thanks, fat fairy, But I do. seh. But now, a week later, I've given up.seh. HOORAY! Not quite, I put on half a pound.seh. HALF A POUND? CALL ME WHEN YOU'VE GAINED HALF A STONE. THE FAT FAIRY. YES, BUT i WAS DIETING!SEH.congratulations. Mean it?really?seh. D'you realise that when I eat like a pig my weight remains static, yet when I diet I put on weight? It's naff, naff d'you hear me?seh. No, but I can read you. Open up and let me read your words. show us!!!! slc. Here I am....seh. ug. slc

175. THE BLOKE IN THE RADOX AD FROM 2 YEARS AGO. I can't say I recall, mm. Oh but you must!! Listen to scary woman. seh.

176. KP PEANUTS AD BLOKE

177. THE OLD PEPSI MAX AD WITH ALL THE SURFER TYPES. It's still on! seh. No, that's a new one, the old one was better! Slc Sorry, didn't realise.seh.

178. MRS HEEBEES ..................Y'know, she borrowed my sheep last night. seh. she borrows someones sheep every night.mm.

179. MR BEN Nice one - He had this odd habit of stripping alll the time, you know, mm. Saves our energy then WHO IS MR.BEN? I'VE NEVER HEARD OF HIM KLN A cartoon character about this guy in a bowler hat who always went to this fancy dress shop. he'd try on an outfit and as if by magic he'd be in a situation suited to the outfit ie. armour = knight or leopard skin toga = tarzan.mm.. What about whips and chains?seh. What sort of world are you thinking of?mm. Would 'perfect'be too cliched?seh. Cliche' cliche'.mm.

180. WALLACE AND.....

180B YOU ON A BED.

181. GROMIT are rather nice.mm.

182. JOE MCGANN Was he the one who played Charlie in the Upper Hand? Ithink so, mm! No, that was Lee. Seh. Show us your upper hand, show us!!!! Slc NO, it was Joe, l remember now, mm! Well done; I DO hope you are joking.seh.No joke,mm. Ah.seh.

183. STEPHEN MCGANN is less attractive than his other brothers.mm.

184. MARK MCGANN so is it dimples or the name hummmm? I'm sure I don't know WHAT you mean - slc. I do.seh.

Hang on, I think I've forgotten.seh.

185. CHIPPY MINTON (TRUMPTON) - is that Trumpton as in Hugh, Pugh, Barley, MacGrew, Cuthbert ,Dibble and Grubb,mm?ACTUALLY ITS HUGH, PUGH, BARNEY MACGREW, CUTHBERT, DIBBLE AND GRUBB. WHAT THE HELL IS PUGH BARLEY, A NEW FORM OF WELSH CEREAL CROP? Well if it is then it's no good for our stud farm unless we feed the studs on it!seh

186. STREAKERS MALE OR FEMALE,BLG? Both Goddamit! Let's have fun!-slc I'm soeer I was being a fool of course both. blg

187. JOANNA LUMELY. Who? only Joking. seh.

188. KIEFER SUTHERLAND. No complaints from mm. But there are a whole bevvy of them here. seh. You know Bevvy DO YOU? INTIMATELY,mm. Nice one. seh. I'm rather proud of both of mine, thanks anyhow.mm.

189. HARRISON FORD only in Indiana Jones getup-dig that whip! How can you Dig a whip? You need a spade. Fool. Seh. But it would be nice to be able to trust the studs with whips, hoping they were not about to tunnel out of their cages. Never mind, we can guard them with the llamas, who also transport them to and from the heated bedrooms and torture chambers.seh. Oh, the number of times you hear about people digging to freedom with their whips. Will this disobedience never end?mm. Exactly., wow, a soul mate.seh. Not so sure about my soul, mate.mm.

190. GENE WILDER (I'm sorry, but he looked cute in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - slc)(funnily enough i agree, seh. ditto SJ) (ditto? oo- er!!!!) - Does the word NO mean anything to you? Thought not,mm. Yes? Sorry, No, I've just looked it up.seh.

191. FIREMEN YES!BLG

192. ARMY MEN -but Hitler was an army man SJ Ok, just cute soldiers then. slc preferably those who aren't psychotic madmen with delusions of granduer.mm.

193. LIFEGUARDS. you havent got to work with them you would change your mind blg Not if they looked like Geena Lee Nolin, I wouldn't ( and no, sue, she's not one of the Nolan sisters).slc Why aren't the Nolan Sisters on this list?mm. They are all locked up in my room......Kitchen. Scabby old cows.seh

194. JIMMY FROM SUPERMAN ( which one ? mm) (Justin Whalin dm) ( no,Michael Landes mm ) (NO Justin Whalin and kate agrees) ( How about both? mm) (ok dm) PEOPLE PLEASE GO TO FILE AND OPEN "NOTICE"

Slc thinks men. Big suprise there,mm. Do you not?seh. I like to think I'm a little bit more specific,mm. Specification - although a delightful word - is boring. slc. OK, YOU can have beppo, deal?mm.

195. TERRI HATCHER She can use her name to hatch any spare eggs we may have slc. Lucky for us then.seh. She hasn't been eating all the pies.mm.

196. MY CALENDER MEN. (esp. March and November - slc) It's March Saturday, HURAHH!!!!! slc. Oh, it's April now. Shit. Slc IT WILL BE MAY TOMORROW.KLN It's may today.mm. May is a young man in a shower...Lee was not amused, but I was so that's all that matters..slc. Yes.seh.

197. MARK FAIRALL (slc's penpal he is my husband, so he tells his flatmates.) Serious?seh. yup slc

198. PATRICK (DAVID MORGAN'S), I assume Sam wrote these two beauties. seh. oohhhhh yes! slc Cooo. slc

199. NASSIM (DAVID MORGAN'S) Look above for the dove.

200. BLOKE OFF OF THE EGGS FILES WHO LIKES SCRULLY Which bloke? What's he look, like? Well, with his eyes, I'd expect What, a bloke with eggs for eyes, now you're just being foolish,mm!! Sam thinks eggs for eyes are cool. And I believe I finally know Where the joke comes from. Could it be a clip on "The two fat ladies show?"seh. NO. WE WERE JUST BEING FACETIOUS..FACEATIOUS..FAC..SARCASTIC. KLN + SLC. What?seh. EXACTLY. KLN Ok, back to the question, Which bloke?mm.

201. THE BLOKE OFF ( excuse me, you'll have to write louder, mm)

202. MARTI PELLOW Yuk! my mum likes him,mm! I'm not your mum dear. seh. - you're not!! And now you tell me!! This is how l find out!!!mm

203. RALPH FIENNES Yes, fox, stud, dish, bird, do it to me baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Slc, Kln - gang bang sometime mm ( esp. Strange Days). Is that the one with marilyn manson in it?seh. He wasn't on the cast list. If anyone's interested I have some nice pictures of Him on offer, see me if you're game.mm. Willing to trade in kind.mm. I like the way you say 'him' with a capital 'H'. Is he a God? Sorry, I shouldn't ask. But how could he dump Alex Kingston? I mean, she was Moll Flanders for cacks sake! slc. Cool, You're advertising my cack, thanks.seh.

204. JASON PATRIC dumped by Julia Roberts, and not Raul Julia (who is dead) slc Are you saying that he wasn't dumped by Raul? Or that he isn't Raul? He was in the Lost Boys.Cool.mm. Yes, cool and no he is neither Raul, nor dumped by Raul. Happy now? slc

205. DANIEL DAY LEWIS I'd give him the time of day slc. I'd give him a damn good lewissing.seh.

206. PAUL BARKER Who,mm? He's in Ministry, I've seen his knob - slc. Along with everyone else's.seh.

207. MYLES O'DONNELL Who,mm? Whipping boy bloke. I'd like to whip that boy.seh.

208. MARK MAKOWY Who? Don't say that He's a gorgeous bloke who MAY be gay.seh. Double the fun, Double the fun!!!

209. AL JOURGENSON Who? Ministry bloke. I've seen his knob too! slc. I've seen my sheep's knob.seh. - is it a multi talented knob, though? Can his knob open doors,mm? Yes.seh. I HATE TO THINK OF THE EXPERIMENTATION THAT HAS GONE ON TO FIND THAT OUT....KLN. Yes but your hating that idea turns me on!!.seh. Why is it that when l do JARVIS jokes no one finds them half as amusing, bloody critics,mm. thats because you are not jarvis or hadent you noticed blg Firstly, can you spell? and secondly neither am I. Or hadn't you noticed?seh

210. Danny Wildheart.Who? I thought this one was self explanatory. seh.

211. MARTIN ROSSITER Who? Gene bloke - not a relation of Leonard Rossiter then,mm? Who?seh. Leonard - 'The Fall and Rise of Reggie Perrin', a classy programme which, for me, spawned many a catchphrase such as 'I done big jobs'....I was only young! I'm so sorry!!!!!uuurrghhh...slc. Look if you've impressed only one person with this then you've done a good job. I'm impressed anyway.seh.Was it really a catchphrase of yours? Do you ever say it now?seh. Not really, unless I've cacked myself, obviously. Me and Sally used to say it all the time, when we were about 10. Slc Obviously, thanks.seh. THERE ARE OTHER SAYINGS, LIKE "BIT OF A COCK UP ON THE (INSERT AS APPROPRIATE) FRONT, REGGIE" (ALTHOUGH YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T SAY INSERT AS APPROPRIATE) AND SUCH LIKE. I'VE GOT THE BOOKS AT HOME. DID YOU KNOW THAT THE UNCLE JIMMY AND LINDA HAD AN AFFAIR IN THE BOOKS? JUST THOUGHT YOU INCEST-DRIVEN PEOPLE OUT THERE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW? KLN Which ones were jimmy and linda?mm. Incest should be kept behind closed doors thankyou very much.sharvseter. Can I see these books? slc. You'd have to clean them first.kln. seh.

212. CHRISTOPHER HALL Who? Stabbing Westward bloke. I'd like to stab that westward. seh.(doesn't quite work does it?seh.)

213. ADAM DURITZ Who? Counting Crows bloke. C'mon, who'd like to count that crow then? seh.

214. JAMES DEAN BRADFIELD Who? Manic Street preachers.seh. Cute, but Nicky Wire's better.seh. They've found Richey, Y'know.seh. NO, THEY THINK THEY SAW RICHEY IN INDIA. That's what I meant, but it's still unfair to trace him with the security cameras on the severn bridge. Is he not entitled to any privacy? Would they rather he'd blown his head off?.seh. Why are we talking about Richey? I put James Dean Bradfield down because he's foxy. Therefore, it's him we should be talking about. Come on!!!What's wrong with you alll???!!!Slc. Richey is foxier, sorry lover.seh.

215. Duff mckagan Who? Guns n' Roses bassist. slc. No'one from gnr belongs on our stud farm.seh. He was in another band too. Now can he stay? slc. Which band...?seh. I don't recall. It's irrelevant. slc. Excuse me, I farted.seh.

216. MATTHEW MARSDON You're making these up aren't you! mm he used to be in Emmerdale, soon in Corrie - slc. How soon?.. We must know where to find him for the stud farm breeding sessions.seh. Are you sure you don't mean Michael Madson. He IS a fox.mm WHO?? He's a film guy, you know, a guy in films. Did I mention he was in films ( and a guy?)?mm. No, sorry, perhaps you should consider trying.seh. Ok, both. slc. Slc, are you agreeing on general principle or do you yet again understand who I'm talking about?mm. Yes, wasn't he in Resevoir Dogs? slc She is so cool. All praise the All Knowing Samela.mm. Ta bird. slc

217. NOAH HUNTLEY Who cares? He's got long hair.seh.

218. EWAN BREMNER Who? spud - Trainspotting. How can you not know that ???slc. You didn't know the highlander's name.seh.

219. BENJI MCNAIR (Mal Kennedy) Planet of the Apes reject. Do you mind, he is my fiance! slc - YOU ARE ENGAGED TO AN APE!!!!mm. No, just a planet of them.seh.

220. RAY LIOTTA (GOODFELLAS) Show us your Good fella. slc

221. LEONARDO DI CAPRIO Cutie Pie UMMMMMM, BLG. He's been spotted with some married actress, Y'know.seh. AND, DO YOU WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING OF IT? SIGNED SOME MARRIED ACTRESS( OK IT WAS mm) Demi? Demi Moore? Is that you, honey? - B. Willis YES, IT'S ME AND I'VE DECIDED WE SHOULD CALL OUR NEXT POOR KID WIBBLE THUMPKIN MOORE-WILLIS, WHAT DO YOU THINK, BRUCE? LOVE DEMI. CAN I JUST ASK IF ANYONE WANTS TO GO AND SEE ROMEO AND JULIET WITH ME WHEN IT COMES TO BARRY CINEMA? IT STARS LEONARDO AND CLARE DANES AND IS SET IN 1997 LOS ANGELES BUT USES THE ORIGINAL SHAKESPEARIAN TEXT. IT LOOKS REALLY GOOD. KLN It's supposed to be really good, but at the mo.I'd rather spend the dosh on renting FROM DUSK TILL DAWN yet again,mm. I want the soundtrack, it looks classy, with the Wannadies, Mundy, the Cardigans etc. How very. Slc BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE THE FILM THEN? KLN yES, OF COURSE. lEO!!!!! SLC

I want to.seh.

222. MARK GILLESPIE - Big Fun SAD! No, they were just called BIG FUN. I can't believe you got that wrong., mumble, groan, grunt seh.)

223. JASON JOHN - Big Fun (are)SAD! I know.seh.

224. PHIL COLLINS BALDY

225. EDAM What, the cheese? mm

226. DENNIS} THE LONDON BOYS

227. GUY PEARCE (Ex - Neighbours) only in Priscilla Queen of the Desert- check out those pecs!

228. STEFAN DENNIS (Ex - Neighbours)

229. ALEX PAPPS (Ex - Home and Away)

230. Men on Adverts Careful, you wouldn't want to limit yourself now, would you. Be sure you don't become TOO specific (leave your bloody name Mel!)seh.

231. JULIA ROBERTS - lucky, foolish bitch ( went out with then , hah, dumped Matthew Perry - WHY??!!,mm)

she's a whore, that's why. seh. But I love her - slc Ah! It's so much clearer now!!mm.

232. JULIA BROGAN (BROOKIE) She's a cracker who loves me. She doesn't ever make any sense, but neither do I, so we're well suited. Arse - slc. WHAT SORT OF CRACKER? JACOBS CREAM? RYVITA?MM. My cream? jacob's cream would be nice.seh.

234. DIEFENBAKER AREN'T THERE LAWS AGAINST THAT SORT OF THING? I hope so, It'll turn me on more then! seh. tart. DREAM ON BOYO.SEH. Hang on, was that really me? I don't remember writing it. ah.seh.

235. THE MURDERER OJ SIMPSON ONLY IF I CAN HAVE A FEW..WORDS ABOUT WHAT I THINK OF WIFE BEATERS (Arsehole, Bastard, Git. seh. There you are Kate.) May I have a few more - they are the slime of the wellyboots of satan. thanks blg

236. TWINKLE ( the song or the person? seh) Definately both - slc

237. FLUFFY It must be the earrings, You love a bit of mystery ( ie. WHY???)

238. THE MILKY WAY STARS. Excuse me, I farted again.seh.

239. JASON HUGHES (THIS LIFE) mm agrees yes, it IS the gay one. DID ANYONE SEE HIM SHAG A BLOKE LAST NIGHT?slc The other bloke had long black hair. I taped it, anyone wishing to see it, I can bring to school to watch in lrc. Please.seh. Ferdinand was a bit of a stud, but he treated Warren badly the day after,mm. PLEASE. SEH. Thanks Sam, I enjoyed it, especially how you only taped the one scene!seh. Well, I had my fingers poised. On the video, Sue on the video!!!!!!!Slc As if I'd have thought anything else!!seh.

240. THE THIEF RICHARD MADELY Who? Is he the other half of Richard and Judy? mm Oh yes, i love kleptomaniacs slc Yes, we know YOU do!seh.

241. LESTAT YES!BLG AND MM

242. ARMAND

243. CLAUDIA?!

244. ANY OTHER VAMPIRES ( has anyone - other than kate - seen a film called ROCKULA,mm?). No. seh. Since when has Kate gone Vamp??? my bedroom at night, if anyone wants to peak.seh. I think I'm at my sexual peak, if anyone would like to see that. Or my twin peaks. slc. Mmmmmm, woo hoo!seh.

245. DAVE (ANYONE CALLED DAVE) WITH SOME EXCEPTIONS We don't like exceptions. seh. All or none. Seh.None then,mm

246. JUSTIN WHALIN (esp. in childs play dm) He's already on here, oh well mm Well lets get him noticed before we lose him. They can't get away You know! seh.

247. SLEDGE HAMMER mm

248. HICKS THE GUY OUT OF ALIENS the actor was also the goody in Terminator - Michael Beihn, mm. I fancy his arse!seh.

249. GABRIEL BYRNE mm cute actor guy (eg. cool world) Hang on, isn't he the drunk 45 yr old poet on home and Away? slc- I THINK NOT,mm! Who is he then?seh. AN IRISH ACTOR WHO WAS IN "LITTLE WOMEN" (NO SUE, NOT A STORY ABOUT A FAMILY OF WOMEN SIX INCHES HIGH) WHO PLAYED PROFESSOR BHAER WHO JO FELL IN LOVE WITH BECAUSE HE WAS KNOWLEDGABLE AND LOVING RATHER THAN YOUNG, HANDSOME, RICH AND PASSIONATE LIKE HER CONVENIENTLY PLACED NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR LAURIE. WHO WAS PLAYED BY A RATHER DISHY ACTOR ACTUALLY. KLN (AS IF YOU COULDN'T GUESS). Are you SURE they weren't tiny?seh. POSITIVE. KLN. Oh......How can you be so sure?seh.BECAUSE THEY LIVE ON MY BOOKCASE. KLN then they MUST be tiny!mm. I MEANT AS IN A BOOK YOU SILLY MELONY YOU! KLN. Then they must be thin as well.seh. THEY WORE CORSETS KLN. Balls, as if. They were short, thin, boney and tasty with whipped cream and muffins. That's all.seh.

250. RICK ROSSIVICH (volley ball scene in Top Gun) HE'S GOT A BEARD! So have you.seh. have not. HAVE!!seh.

251. ROLAND RAT (and his little friend.) Kevin the gerbil was far studlier. I had a gerbil....it only had 3 legs. Oh well! The Don Brennan of rodents. slc Why Don Brennan? has he got 3 legs?mm. You know what I mean...He has 1 and a half but I'm sure his knob qualifies as a leg. slc. Mine's as big as... .seh.

252. VAL KILMER (in latex as batman and pretty good as ice man dm) ANY MORE VAL KILMER NOMINATIONS AND HE GETS REMOVED What! This is only the 3rd! mm. One was too many. seh.. HOORAY! SOMEONE WHO AGREES WITH ME!- Have you seen him in Willow with LONG HAIR!!,mm? No but I'd be willing to give him a try.seh. Get in line, sweetheart,mm. Thankyou I am!seh. Ohoh, we're back to this serial buggery issue again, aren't we? slc I prefer Cereal buggery. With lots of milk for breakfast. YUM! mm. Does the milk come from Ulrika's tits? If not, we will have to give you a stern warning from the Chief Lord Stud Enroller. Farm milk or not at all. slc Don't disappoint me. Warn me Warn me!mm.

253. CHARLES DICKENS what a babe!!!!!

254. WILLIE SHAKESPEARE ditto!!!!!!

255. CHRIS MARLOWE wow!!!!! ( CHECK OUT DR FAUSTUS BOOK COVER PHHWOOOAARR!)

256.OSCAR WILDE

257. JANE AUSTEN

258. ELIZABETH JENNINGS She loves Priests y'know. She does. And she's mental. Slc WE GATHERED KLN. All tooo well.seh.

259. TERRY PRATCHETT BABE IN WRITING BLG

260. STEPHEN KING - IT MUST BE THE BEARD! Hang on. Didn't Virginia Woolf used to be on here? and jonny lee miller. Am I going mad, or did I just dream them? Help, someone....please. slc. Yes they were.seh.

261. THE RIBENA BERRIES Are tasty and look nothing like any human being alive, oh no! But does anyone know of any exceptions?seh.

262. LONG DISTANCE CLARA mm Chugga chugga - slc

263. KURT RUSSELL (in BIG trouble in little china) - he's a piscean you know,mm. YOU MEAN HE SMELLS FISHY AND IS SLIMY, LIKE US MEL? KLN Or not as the case may be Kate!mm

264. SLIMER FROM GHOSTBUSTERS Rude Comment from Bethan Gamble - no change there eh, chaps!?mm OH, you are SO witty!blg

265. TREV AND SIMON We don't do duvets. we don't do perms either. TN+SH.

266. ACE RIMMER What a guy!

267. LISTER (mel dreams about him she just confessed) one dream, singular and he wasn't being disgusting mm . Damn. seh.

268. FRED ( dawns saucy car - boy can he get dirty!)

269. THE GHOSTBUSTERS mm

270. SAM AND AL FROM QUANTUM LEAP mm oh, and slc( which one do you agree on?)BOTH SLC. same here.seh.

271. SKIPPY (LONDONS BURNING)

272. SKIPPY ( THE BUSH KANGAROO)

273. YOSHIE/ JANOSZ POHA the bug eyed artist. Well, I'm sorry but Yoshie is actually spelt Yoshi.No E like on Van damme.seh. HEY, DON'T TELL ME HOW TO SPELL THE NICKNAMES OF MY STUD JANOSZ,MM.

274. PATHOLOGISTS. ( does this include pathologists -to- be,mm?). Okay? No really, are *you* okay? seh.

275. THE CAST OF " PRESS GANG" esp. Colin Matthews, mm LYNDA DAY IS COOL KLN Thank you, Da Boss, mm.

276. MURRAY FROM GROWN UPS mm Are you grown up? If not then I can't imagine how you could survive in our rigourous breeding sessions with the studs.seh.

277. MURRAY MINTS (edible yet keeps you fresh). Depends where you put them. Didn't do me any good! seh. Fresh is not a word i'd ever associate with you. You're too fausty for words. slc. Yes, you noticed. Seh.

278. MELS REDECORATED DR MARTENS (if you are blind dm). I like them. Seh. Thank you, I'll give you the tenner later,mm.

279. MARK LAMARR It's greasy fifties throwback, Mark Lamarr! No, it's you.seh.

280. MARTIN RIGGS ( Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon)

281. AIDAN QUINN MM - cute actor guy ( dark hair, blue eyes)

282. SULLY (Dr. Quinn gorgeous indian guy)

283. RICHARD E GRANT MM AND BLG also slc, but strictly for his acting abilities, of course - absolutely,mm

284. ODO You may laugh, but think about it - he can shift into any shape he wants at any time!! And the use of that is? You must realise that in that case he could possibly turn himself into a key with which to unlock the cage which we'd put him into. What would we do then? We must keep these studs under control! Oh, By the way, I was thinking (big Woo) that we should maybe invest in some sort of sandpaper bound gloves so that the studs on our stud farm don't "waste our resources". What do you think girls?seh. good idea, keep them freash. blg. Fresssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhh. I bet that was you, sue. I've told you about your freshness. slc. Sod off!! Of course it was me, it was a play on that dumb advert.seh.

285. JIM IGNATOWSKI a.k.a. James Caldwell mm Groovy

286. REGINALD BARCLAY mm HOLOADDICTS UNITE!!

287. ERIC CLOSE - the only reason to watch Dark Skies ( because god knows the scripts, acting etc aren't up to much,mm)

288. DAVID SYLVIAN He was on totp2!!

289. EDDIE IZZARD Oh yes, I QUITE agree - slc Did you see him on Frank Skinner last week,mm?BLIND ARE YOU PEOPLE BLIND. So is he gay or not?seh. No, not gay, just a transvestite. He said he's a lesbian trapped inside a man's body. wow. Slc I won't ask where I've heard that before, ha, ha.seh. Do I take this personally? slc. No, think carefully.seh. I believe he said he was two lesbians traped in a mans body-SJ Yes, you are right. slc

290. RONNIE BARKER. Does he?seh. Only up the wrong tree. slc

291. MARC BOLAN.

292. DR QUINN Is she a medicine woman? I'd like to give her a taste of her own, oh yes. Slc

293. MICK KARN. or..........can't?seh.

294. LOU REED

295. JUDE OF CASULTY She was classy. She was once in Bottom as Dave Hedgehog's daughter. I have it on tape, of course. Slc

296. SINBAD SWEENY ( Brookside )

297. JOEY JO JO - I do no think so, she smells - slc Yes, Miss Evans smells lovely. I think not. Sniff those pits! Eurgh! She doesn't turn heads - just stomachs. slc

298. WILL CARLING no, I have dignity, well, that's a lie, but anyway...slc kln mm

299. MRS MERTON Now you're talking slc. I like her too. seh.

300. MALCOM MERTON ( What a stud ) and last week we saw him playing with his instrument, mm. He's got nice tits.seh. Yours aren't so bad either. slc. Don't say that. They're evil ickle bastards.seh.

301. MR OWENS ( Old RE teacher with the husky voice ) OBVIOUSLY YOU NEVER GOT TAUGHT BY HIM - WHAT A BORING MAN and mm will second the above opinion. A stud nevertheless.seh. - HAH,mm! STILL a stud.seh.

302. MICK JONSSON ( Brookside )

303. Marcus from Just Us is that the kids programme about the two families whose parents marry and there are eight kids? A british, modern brady bunch? Kln

304. NICHOLAS LYNDHURST - so cute slc. Nothing more to say on this one. Which of the WHSmith characters he played is YOUR favourite?seh. I like the mum with that disapproving look,mm. I like the teenage girl.seh. I like the young boy....no surprise there, then. Slc. Well I'm surprised, he's only about ten!seh. And? slc. And nothing, just making an observation, s'all.seh.

305. GREG WISE HOW COULD WE FORGET!!!! Esp. in Sense and Sensibility and The Riff Raff Element - slc, kln I saw a bloke yesterday who looking exactly like Greg in the riff raff element. I did cream them - slc What,dead?mm. What else?seh.

306. JOHN TRAVOLTA - the king of the disco!!! Tony Manero!! Stayin' Alivveee! OOh, he hit ma hair! Father Frank Junior, why you always cross yourself when you say his name? Danny! Sandy!! Pulp Fiction, Look who's Talking, Michael!!! Phenomenon!! - slc BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP!?MM.

307. TRUNCHEONS ( new or old design,mm?) Both slc

308. SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH, at Bethan Nash's request. Hot totty.seh.

308. BOYD TUNDISH ( Riff Raff Element, link to 305)

309. Psephanie the Pig ( Riff Raff Element ) ACTUALLY, IT'S SPELT PERSEPHONE - No, l distinctly recal Boyd said psephanie, now l'll bet you feel foolish, but that's another matter altogether,mm! YOU MAY PRONOUNCE IT PSEPHANIE BUT IT IS SPELT PERSEPHONE. IT IS A CLASSICAL GREEK OR ROMAN NAME, I FORGET WHICH. SO NUH NUH NUH-NUH NUH KLN. Nuh?seh. Well you're still wrong because the Boyd told me it was spelt like that. So the Nur's on you,mm. And Nur is?seh. We've discussed this between ourselves and the other stud farmers have decided you're to young, pure and innocent to know,mm. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT SUE HERE, RIGHT? I DIDN'T ATTEND THAT MEETING ANYWAY. KLN Funny that, in fact I was the only person at that meeting.mm. You and your muffins.seh. I'd like to butter your muffin.mm. Let the mule see the muffin (d'ya get it? Muffin the Mule, the old TV prog)slc. Crap... .Now who smells?!seh.

310. ALL OF THE REST OF THE TUNDISH FAMILY ( Riff Raff Element)

311. ALL OF THE BELCHER FAMILY ( Riff Raff Element)

312. THE SMURFS ( not sure if we've already got them, still......) No, we haven't. But why didn't you just check in the first place? slc. Cack anyone? It's going fast. It's almost running.seh.

314. JOHN LENNON mm.

315. PAUL MACCARTNEY. Big knockers.seh.

316. GEORGE HARRISON

317. RINGO STAR. I've just realised how much that name takes the piss. Perhaps we should give him an enema to see what happens. Understand?seh. I can't believe we didn't realise the hilarity of the name sooner. slc

318.FATHER DOUGAL. One for the lovelies here I think.seh. What a lovely pair of knockers. slc

319. MRS DOYLE ( you will you will you will you will you will you will YOU WILL!). Sorry but WHO?seh. THE FANTASTIC HOUSEKEEPER FROM "FATHER TED" KLN

320. BOYFRIENDS Mine! All 194, 123,567,523,789,587 and a half of them. slc

321. GIRLFRIENDS And mine! especially Anna Powell Slc

322. SINGLE BOYS (As we're running out of space I'll add Agent Dale Cooper by here. Thank you. mm.)

323. SINGLE GIRLS Does anyone want to write something in this blank space? Oh, sorry, I already have. Slc

324. SINGLE MEN

325. SINGLE WOMEN

326. HUSBANDS

327. WIVES Especially mine!!Slc. Christ yes.seh. No, he didn't want to wed me. slc

328. LOLA ( from the song by the KINKS) She was a he, you know,mm?! Prove it whore.seh.

329. ELENOR RIGBY

330. ADAM ANT Prince Charming! slc What? Why am I here again? Prince Charming, ie, Me, can't appear this many times. It ruins the splendour. Bastards.seh.

331. CHOCOLATE blg mm everyone female and owning a set of tastebuds. I've got some spare for anyone who's interested.seh. Some spare of what? chocolate or tastebuds,mm? Tastebuds.seh. HOW GENEROUS!MM.

332. STEVE JANSEN Who, mm, blg? Of Japan.

333. RICHARD BARBIERI WHO,mm? "

334. ROBERT DEAN Who,mm?"

335. MARC BOLAN DEAD!! Yes dead gorgeous He's already on here. How unnecessary. slc

336 K.D. LANG cccoon staant craaa-ving. I think so - slc

337. CODY OF NEIGHBOURS D E A D A babe dead or alive.

338. PERRY BAMONTE OF THE CURE. Oh yes.I do think so. Anyone in the cure will do nicely thankyou.seh. Except the ugly alcoholic ones. SJ. I love robert smith. HAVEN'T YOU RULED OUT ALL OF THE CURE THEN STEPH? KLN

339. BRAIN ENO Is he blokey off James?seh. no but he is very effeminate. Woooo.seh.

340. HANG ON HAVE WE HAD SAM..? form an orderly que girls Ok, who can't spell ? slc. QUEUE.seh.

341. THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS PRINCE DON'T YOU MEAN THE ARTIST, FORMALLY KNOWN AS THE ARTIST FORMALLY KNOWN AS PRINCE, FORMALLY KNOWN AS PRINCE? No, The Artist, (aren't I a smart arse!)seh. YES KLN. Look carfully Sue and you'll see that I SAID THAT!!mm well you lost me at 341. sorry blg. I'm a twat aren't I?seh. You are more than the sum of your best parts,mm.

342. PRINCE CHARMING. Why thank you!seh.

343. CYBIL She can mew you know. Like a cat?seh. No like a Bloody hump back whale! Nice to know.seh.

344. MY ARSE slc

345. MY JUGS slc

346. DAFFODILS slc blg mm's mum.. Michael Barrimore.

347. SAM'S ARSE seh.

348. SAM'S JUGS. seh.

349. SAM'S DAFFODILS. seh.

350. I CAN'T FIND RICKI LAKE. IS SHE HERE? seh. NOOOOOO!! consider this her entry,mm. I can't. It's sooooo UNFAIR!!!!seh. Thank you Kevin. And this is now her entry, honest guv.mm. It's not fair!seh. She's never shown her entry on her show....but I'm waiting, and will continue to wait until the day I see it. slc. Aren't we all dear, aren't we all!seh.

351. DIETER BRUMMER. No. That's all I have to say on this matter. Now don't let this sort of thing happen again! mm blg

352. RAY MEAGHER. WHO,MM? How can you not know that?!seh. OBVIOUSLY WITH GREAT EASE,MM. He once played a govener in Prisoner: Cell Block H. He was stabbed to death by Lori, I do believe. slc

353. JUDY NUNN ( AILSA FROM HOME AND AWAY ). But she killed her dad! slc. Yes, with reason. He was a violent wanker.seh. No really, he wanked violently!!seh.

354. SAM'S DAD

355. SAM'S BROTHER. OOOOOH yes!!!!! I think not. slc. Why not?seh.

356. SAM'S FAUSTY MAN. Sam hasn't got a fausty man, he's clean and unfasusty thankyou you WHORE Joey!!!seh. Yes slc

357. KATE LOUISE NICHOLAS. She's a dirty cow, If you shagged her you would chance any one of many diseases. I wouldn't take the risk personally.seh. Yeah, but you're ok, sue. I mean, you can't catch something if you already have it, can you? slc. Ah, yes, you're right. Thanks for enlightening me.seh.

358. LEESA JOSEPHINE MCGHAN. Do you have no shame (I know I haven't)? SLC. But isn't he lovely? Slc

359. JO'S NEW STUD MUFFIN. WHO?seh. Some slimy deaf, dumb, blind illiterate 12 year old....like all her ex girlfriends. Slc Tasty.seh.

360. VIRGINIA WOOLF. SHE WASN'T YOU KNOW. SHE HAD A LONG AND PASSIONATE LESBIAN AFFAIR WITH A WOMAN WHO WASN'T HER HUSBAND! KLN Liar! I never, her nipple just accidentially got clamped between my teeth I tell you!!!! VW

361. LUKAS HAAS - MARS ATTACKS! phwooooaaaaarrrrr!!!!! BABE blg ( and mm) Luke Haas done what?slc. Anything he wants to, he's gorgeous. NO HE'S NOT!KLN he's ok. He's in a film called BOYS with Winona Ryder ( 1996 - so he isn't like 11 years old in it )mm.

362. CARY ELWES - ROBIN HOOD, MEN IN TIGHTS Who'd say no to a man in tights? BLG. Only in a kind of "OHHHHHHHH NOOOOO Young stud, I couldn't do That!Please no, oh no, oh no, Ohhhhhhh!seh That's on Channel5 next week.mm.

363. ROBERT CARSLISLE - HAMISH MACBETH, BABE BLG I don't think so - did you see him as Begby in Trainspotting? Bleurghh!!!! slc and as the mad nazi skinhead murderer in Cracker?mm. No nazi skinhead murderer is getting into my love nest.seh. IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE CALLING IT THESE DAYS, SUE? KLN. It's either that or my room a l'orange. I can't decide. What do you think?seh. YOUR ROOM A L'ORANGE, DEFINITELY. IT'S MORE CLASSY. KLN

364. WEE JOCK - HAMISH MACBETH Hang on, I saw a picture of him yesterday...he's a dog. No, I don't mean ugly, a real dog. You know, woof woof. Slc and ggggrrrrr to you too!mm. Cheers! slc

365. LISA MARIE IN MARS ATTACKS! - The girl from Mars, Babe!! blg and mm. Um, no I do not think so, she bit his finger off!seh.

366. VINCENT PEREZ - Crow: City of Angels

367.T REX FROM JURASSIC PARK : Monsterous! blg

368.BORG QUEEN - Well, Data went for her, didn't he?! mm I don't know.seh. But did he go DOWN on her? slc. Did you?seh.

369. ALISHA'S ATTIC, yep, both of them blg BLG? Is it my imagination, or does that sound like BULGE?slc - yes, slick. NO it's more like BLUG. Not that blug's a word or anything.mm. Well done mum. slc

370. DATA - how could we forget! (Obviously quite easily) mm Data? Would my statistics be acceptable too? 21-35-19, yes that's right. Slc

371. CATWOMAN / SELINA KYLE mm (mm. Catwoman, not selina. Whips etc. Wrrrrgh. Purhhhh. Meeiow. Fwoo. fz)

372. Q For the last time, It's spelt queue!seh.

373. HELP SHES GOING THROUGH THE CAST OF STAR TREK blg. Put a stud in here. This is not a conversation farm, wait until the weekly meetings on stud farm control. You know, stud farms are not anywhere where people can just chat, they are a thriving business where we expect people to take responsibility.seh. A stud? How about MICE? They are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo studly - slc. White chocolate mice are nice too.seh. No, only real living mice ( or recently deceased ) mice are acceptable. slc ARE THEY COVERED IN CHOCOLATE?blg No, shit slc well thats good blg. Sheep cack?seh.

374. MELS FEET? What about them?seh. They stink of the poo on her bedroom floor which she walks through every day to get to her piss bucket on her vomit stained pillow. Slc HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING ME AGAIN?MM. For longer than you realise. slc

375. PIERCE BROSNAN mm with or without the pipe? blg. With or without his limbs attatched( watch Mars Attacks! or you won't understand, so nur nur nur nur nur!!)? mm With or with out the hair gel? would there be any thing left?blg.With or without the lab coat? WITH I THINK!!mm ooh er missus blg. For the last time what is Nur?seh. Similar to Nahn.mm. And Nahn is...?seh. Nur is a word often used to rip the piss out of people as in 'you arse'. Clearer? Slc Can you rip the piss out of an arse?seh. Of course, make sure you use Stanley's knife, though. It won't work otherwise. Slc

376. THE PLOT FROM MARS ATTACKS - you always say you like to dominate, with something this weak it would be easy blg. Stud? The plot was not as weak as you think it was, I enjoyed it.seh.

377. TALKING OF EASY, BETHAN - WE'VE ALL HAD HER ( and good it was too!)mm. Where's the stud?seh. . has any one ever told you not to be hypocritical, you know I had you before you had me!!blg PICKY PICKY PICKYmm

378. SUE'S SHEEP., Not called Derick. I hope you are still guessing.seh. nevil? blg. you have to be kidding, that's no name for a sheep, but I hear that nevil is the middle name of a certain young stud lover, Kate Nicholas. Now would you believe it?Seh.. 'CAUSE I DON'T. KL (FOR LOUISE, NOT NEVIL, WHICH IS SPELT NEVILLE) N. FOR NICHOLAS. WHICH IS, IN FACT, MY SURNAME. SO THERE. KLN I know this has nowt to do with studs, but do you think Joseph sounds better for a middle name for me (slc)? I think so, and would appreciate your opinions, thanks... I always fancy people called Sam Joseph Cowlin, I do.seh.

379. AIDEN QUINN when he was in "The Handmaid's Tale". KLN He's already on this list, mm. Have you seen a film called BLINK,mm? NO I HAVEN'T, BUT IF VAL KILMER GETS THREE NOMINATIONS THEN AIDEN QUINN CAN HAVE TWO. KLN

380. MATTHEW MODINE ( actor who it seems no one knows, prove me wrong, here, PLEASE!!MM). I know him, he's on our stud farm isn't he?!seh. He is now.mm. Yes.seh. I know him, melly. slc

381. DALE WINTON Why is my sex slave on here? Can't I keep anything for myself?seh. Thats not fair, share and share alike blg Now you're sounding like Kevin!seh. kevin who? the fruit bat? - who was actually pretty cool!mm. Me and Dale are planning to go camping this summer. Anyone else wish to come along? slc. Cool, camping with dale again.seh.

382. JULIAN CLARY So sexy it hurts.seh. are you sure you're doing it right?mm. UM???. Teach me!seh.

383. GAY MEN. (ANY) seh. All gay men ? blg Sorry but they are all gorg.. UGLY BLOKE WASN'T. KLN

384. BRYN HAFREN SENIOR CHOIR! Twats! Ya can't spell! slc SHUT IT YOU TART! Who said that ? slc

385. DR MARTIN A god in his own time.glg WHO??? (Dr Martyn. Look to the lady's boot.)

386. BETHANS ART CLASS - wouldn't mind being in the dark room with them phwoarrrr E.S. Just wait one Memphis moment - E.S? Skewers, is that you? Since when you Tart? Enroll properly or not at all. D'ya hear me Freddie Boswell? Slc

387. RICHARD NOWELL - babe Emma's bloke and by gum was that a catch. E.S. Do people sing songs of christmas wherever he goes? (Noel, noel, no-o-ell, noel. Born is the king of israel........) Good joke or not, real people aren't allowed by unofficail stud farm members. As we all know, my throbbing member was rolled all the way down a hill just to be in this farm. Do you see? Slc I'm afraid this one has been slaughtered in the farm, due to being sucked dry of farming resources by numbers 17 and 69. Appropriate...slc

388. THE RUGRATS blg

389. ALL MY CUSTARD CREAMS WITH MUCK ON THEM, ( muck that comes from sam in the morning.). And before you say it, yes we can breed from it!!!!!seh. Sorry, but after spending all night I can't help from spilling when I get up in the morning. Slc. Well I'll always appear first thing in the morning then. As usual. I like to sell these things.

390. ANGELO FROM MIKE AND ANGELO which angelo there has been two???have there,mm? yep, if it wasn't A. it was mike they changed dm. it WAS mike they changed, this one is crap ( see alternative stud farm) mm.

391. THE WHY BIRD. I've said it before and I'll write it again; the Why bird is an insult to the welsh.. Lets all stand up and be counted,boys, her accent is condescending and naff!!!!.seh. COUNTED? LIKE, 1, 2, 3 ETC? BESIDES, SHOULDN'T IT BE STAND UP AND BE COUNTED BOYOS? I DON'T REALLY CARE ANYWAY. I'M NOT WELSH. KLN. Neither am I properly but I've still got patriotic feelings about that WHORE bird!seh. THE ONLY PATRIOTIC THING ABOUT ME IS THAT i EAT LOTS OF WELSH CAKES,MM. THAT SAYS IT ALL REALLY, DOESN'T IT? BESIDES, PATRIOTISM IS A FEELING ENGENDERED BY THE BOURGEOISIE SO THAT THE PROLETARIAT (IE US) CAN FEEL ACCEPTED INTO SOCIETY AND NOT FEEL ALIENATED AND REBEL. SURELY YOU, AS A NEO-MARXIST SYMPATHISER SHOULD KNOW THAT, SUE? KLN. GOOD GRIEF, I THINK I WROTE A LOT OF SOCIOLOGY. I'M GOING TO GO AND LIE DOWN NOW. THAT SHOCKED ME. KLN. The welsh make nice cakes and leek soups, and that's all I need! I only want to hate the Why bird as she appears all the time and I miss the Playground stop.seh. OH, ALL RIGHT THEN. KLN . UUHHH?MM. EXACTLY. KLN I've got a bit. well a lot of Irish blood in me (no jokes) and yes, it's true, I am a little Irish man and I come from the land of the bogs. Ahha!! It's the way that I tell 'em. Pork anyone? I know I would! PANTS! I see chocolate in every window I look out of. You know it makes sense. Show me your real wild child, is he hidden? Why, mine is. - Slc. yes, and I know where too.seh.

392. AIDAN QUINN (Kate, together we can raise awareness of a.q. HE SHALL RULE!!!mm.) OK, BUT NO MORE NOMINATIONS. I GOT SHIRTY WHEN VAL KILMER GOT THREE. KLN

393. GEORGE CLOONEY IN HIS RUBBER SUIT ( BATMAN) mm. (he is no comparison to val kilmer in his rubber suit I keep expecting him -G.C. - to whip out his stethoscope and cure a sick child Dm) - As lovely as Val is I think it's best that he is never mentioned again as Kate is prone to get a bit arsey as he's already been on the list 3 times min. mm . so sue me dm DON'T WISH SUE ON YOU! YOU'LL NEVER SURVIVE!! KLN According to whom exactly?seh. Am I the only one who doesn't find him the slightest bit attractive? He looks like a burnt cabbage. Slc bollocks he does. you're a burnt cabbage not he, so nur.mm. 'Bollocks he does'? Does that mean that he actually does bollocks? How? Does he peel them and boil them in salt? That's what I'd do to his, Oh yes. Just watch me. If I'm a burnt cabbage, at least that means I'm tasty. Slc As riveting as it would be to watch you boil his bollocks, stinky, I can think of better things to do with them, pongy.mm. What, like stick them on a spike and parade through town ?slc NOPE, EVEN BETTER!MM. That's not possible. slc

394. GEORGE CLOONEY OUT OF HIS RUBBER SUIT ( My bedroom, last night!!) mm. would you really want him in your bed when there are plenty of other better ones!!! dm. Far be it from me to limit myself - I've got a very big bed!!mm. GrrreeaattttNO MORE GEORGE CLOONEY! PLEASE!!KLN. You know, the fuuny thing is that NOBODY survives, I think that should be stressed.seh. survives what?mm.Hang on, I get it now, you're continuing a conversation from the enrty before.mm.. I was talking about my bedroom of love.seh. Goerge clooney IN HIS RUBBER suit. FWWWor. (that was my bloke by the way, scary. seh)

395. ANTHONY KEIDIS. Show us your sock, show us!!!! Slc WHO????. RHCP.seh.

396. KENNETH BRANNAGH.... because he is a stud almighty sex machine type dude. seh and mm.

397. DENZEL WASHINGTON. KLN And why not?!!.YES

398. ALAN RICKMAN. Sorry, but rather studly in Truly, Madly, Deeply. Slc AND SENSE AND SENSIBILITY KLN. AND ROBIN HOOD : PRINCE OF THEIVES MM.

399. JEREMY IRONS. Damage, anyone? slc in die hard: with a vengence he looked abit camp in his nice vest,mm. What, like a tent?seh. YES, THAT WOULD BE IT,MM.

400. THE STUNNINGLY DISHLICIOUS FFFFFFFFFFFREDDIE BOSWELL!!!!!!! Slc THATS TWICE NO MORE PLEEEASE!! The first remark was not an entry my son. slc

401-405. THE GUILFORD FOUR. What, they've been freed? When? Aww, no-one tells me this stuff! Slc READ THE PAPER YOU MEDIA STUDENT, YOU! KLN

406. JOHNATHON MORRIS. Am I the only one who saw him play Frank in The Rocky Horror Show? Bloody Hell!!! NO, OTHERS MUST HAVE SEEN HIM, BUT I BET YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN'T HAVE NIGHTMARES!KLN APART FROM YOUR SISTER AND ANY OTHER LOONY. KLN. You haven't seen the costumes involved in it as you have never seen the bloody film. Don't dismiss his "talents" too quickly, please.seh. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M LIKE; IF THE FILM WAS BLOODY THEN I WOULDN'T WATCH IT, WOULD I? KLN .i do like adrien, yum yum up your bum!mm.

407. EVA PERON. Don't cry for me Arganteeener, the truth is I neeeeeever left you. Allthrough my wild days, my mad existence, kept my promisssssssssse, don't keep your distance. Have I said too much? There's nothing more I can think of to say to you. Blah blah, but every word iiiisss trueeeeee. Evita evi-ta, Evi-ta. You must love meee. Oh what a circus, oh what a night something something....the death of an actress named Eva Peron. Another suitcase, in another hall blah blah... Yes. Slc

408. COOPER TROOPER, sitting in a brown mini cooper with a pooper scooper, listening to Alice cooper. She's a super trouper. (is she a wooper?seh)

409. THOMAS, LEE'S CAT. He's far more game for a bit of action than Lee is. Slc. What kind of action is he up to?-I'm interested, really.seh. Puuuurrrrrrrr SJ

410. IGNORE THE LAST COMMENT. LJM. Stud? Get on the enrolement list. I thought Sam would have told you that whilst she's shagging your cat!!!!!!!!!!!seh.

411. THE ABOVE WAS WRITTEN BY A SLAG slc.

412. Ok, the last two weren't strictly studs, so if I say BILLY AND DARREN OFF OF NEIGHBOURS, I suppose that will make up for it, deal? Slc. You'd really need a third to make up for this WASTE OF SPACE but saying that (and I am you know), lets think for a while about the Mr Men and the milky milky way stars.seh.

413. YOSEMITE SAM. I gonna git yoo! Slc (above)Okay now stop. Thanks.seh.

414. JIMMY NAIL. I don't mean nobody else, honest guv, I really does fink 'es foxy.(She's lying) No, honest, I really do (she's lying) No! Listen to me! (she's lying) OOhhh, I give up (why does she pretend? Ain't no doubt it's plain to see, a woman like you's no good for me..... Crocodile Shoooes....Blue Roooosesss... Actually, that last song was a flop, which was a shame because I actually thought it was rather good!) Slc. I Almost wish I'd heard it, but alas no. Such a shame.seh. YES, WORKING EARDRUMS CAN BE SUCH A BORE,MM.

415. THE TAZMANIAN DEVIL. Show us your horns!!! Ok, he doesn't strictly have a horn, but real devils do. Oh yeah, maybe it is hidden! Slc. IN LEGEND THE DEVIL GUY HAD HUGE HORNS AND HE WAS PLAYED BY TIM CURRY,MM.Does anyone have this film? I love Tim Curry.seh. no but I have a piccy of him in costume!mm. May I see it? Is it clean?seh. I'll wipe it down specially.mm. He looked different but studly, nevertheless.thanks mel. seh.

416. Jas Mann, from Babylon Zoo. I'm sorry, but did anyone see him in a tight dress on top of the pops a year ago? He had a raging horn! It was so classy! Slc Are you serious? I never saw it, but what colour was the dress????seh. Sparkly, and tight and tight with sparkles. It was very special, and I probably still have it on tape somewhere in my parlour of lurve. Slc. I don't suppose.......? seh. I'll look, Ok? Slc i REMEMBER THAT, AND IT WAS A SILVER LAME' SKIRT,MM. OOOOOOH yes SJ. Sam, where's the video which you promised? Come on!seh. It's on its way, ambasador ( show us your reception!) slc

417. GARY SINESE. I think that's something like Sinese, anyway, he's in Ransom as the baddie who i think ends up dead, like all the other baddies including Donnie Whalberg (ex-New Kids On the Block). He was actually quite good in it. Slc I remember that guy in The Stand. He looks a bit like that guy from grease.mm. Which one? The one which I 'played successfully' or the others who couldn't?seh. I think Donnie Whalberg is my favourite philosopher, after all, he's the one who once said ; "'No more games' is about positivity, and positivity is not about being soft, it's about being smart, you sucker.."slc. Well then that would explain it then, I can see why.seh.

418. BODGER AND WHY NOT BADGER?MM. Why not mashed potato?seh.

419. JAKE SHILLINGFORD - MY LIFE STORY. What a class guy, his voice warbles - respect that British Bloke!!!Slc

420. DEL SHANNON - Run run run run runaway!! Hats off to Larry! Hey little Girl!!!! Slc. Is this anoher one of those suck my lolly' comments?seh. Naturally. slc

421. THE BLOKE FROM MUNDY. OOOooohhhh, I'd bestow everything to him, oh yes, just watch me!!!Slc. Really-I can watch? Thanks!seh. You know you don't have to ask....you never used to. You liked the thrill of being a peeping tom, didn't you? Slc

422. BRIAN MOLKO - PLACEBO...Come Hooommee!! 36 Degrees, Bruised pristene, Teenage angst, I know, CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Slc, Seh I know a usually straight bloke who fancies him!!! Barry white, paul nichols or prince charming?seh. Hey Sue, talking of placebo, can I have my CD back pleeeaaassseee!!! You've had it longer than I have....oh, and my Alanis Cd....please. And I'll promise to give you all yours back too. honest. slc. And the KYTV videos? Thought not.seh. Oh yeah, forgot about those, sorry. And your pritt stick and your whipping boy tape. slc. I gave the stick to you but yes, otherwise you're right. Thanks big boy.seh.

423. BLOKE WHO PLAYED MR.COCKFOSTER (I KID YOU NOT!) ON "CHALK" LAST NIGHT - what a babe! KLN I saw the repeat, and yes, I thought he looked very foxy in stockings. Slc I think we would foster his cock dont you. blg Oh God, he made me COME out in goosebumps. Bump those geese! Slc Note: Cages need trees for general treeing purposes. You get far better results from your studs if youve let them BE A MAN when they get out of bed in the morning? Oh Yes. FZ. WHO MADE THATLAST ENTRY? KLN It was Frankie ( Do you remember him?) Frank-i-i-e! Slc

424. ...BADGER.

425. SEE THAT GUY OVER THERE....We'll have him we will. WILL WE? ARE YOU SURE? OOOOhhhh yes!! Slc

426. DAVID MAYNE. What a fox, if a bit ragged round the edges. I think we've all had him, haven't we? Marks out of ten, everyone! I'll give him eleven - slc. Marks out of ten? I'd have to test him first in his cage with the fun of stud farm loving. NO REAL PEOPLE GOD DAMN YOU!!!!MM. David isn't real, he's a bloke! slc. Good point sam.seh.

427 INDIE- BETHS PUPPY .... a baby and she comes in her own fur coat.

428. THE SPAWN OF SATAN-- at the very least he would be good for a party!

429. I WANT A NEW BLOKE ANY VOLENTEARS? blg ME ME!!!!!!!!!!ME!MEMEME ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!slc very sweet but don't you think that lee will mind I refuse to share you Oh go on, what he doesn't know won't hurt him....unless I dig my nails in. That'd hurt! slc In to what?blg His penis, obviously. slc I can see how that would hurt blg Yes slc

430. AT NUMBER 430, I'VE FINALLY REALISED WHAT WE'VE MISSED OUT - STUDS! You know, the kinds that bikers get on leather gloves. Angry sequins, really. You can't run a stud farm without studs. Why haven't we realised this sooner? So, studs then, yes? Not spuds. Too starchy. Slc OR SOAP SUDS?MM. or spring-time buds?seh. No, just studs....twats..slc. Damn.seh.

431. BIKERS (and mice from Mars. Mice? Mouses? Meece? Which sounds best? Meece, I think) and bikers with long, dark hair and large helmets - for safety. Slc i agree whole - heartedly dlm I'M DOING A COURSE THIS SUMMER TO LEARN AND TAKE MY TEST ON BEING A BIKER,MM. Will you have to have a helmet? Will it shine? Will you show us? slc

432. WHAT ABOUT JUGGULARS? They play with balls. slc, Blg OK, BUT NO MIME ARTISTS. KLN. Go on lets have them too, we shouldn't be picky about this one Kate.seh. I HATE MIME ARTISTS. NO MIME ARTISTS. KLN

433. THE BLOND CURLY DETECTIVE OF CRIME TRAVELER. - who put this on here try the alternative list Mel's confused - is the actual detctive curly, or is it his hair????Slc, mm

434. WARREN A BABE IF THERE EVER WAS ONE YES HE DOES NEED TO BE PUT ON HERE TWICE, BLG

Please tell me we're not talking about that twat who kissed my cheek in front of his girlfriend's friend!seh. NO WE'RE NOT,MM. Um then whom exactly?seh.This Life gay guy - very cute mm. I love him. He's gay!. Stud, if ever I saw one.seh. Unfortunately, he's just left. Damn shame...lets hope Ferdy gets a bloke...and soon..slc. Will you have your fingers poised again this time?seh. As always. my love, as always. slc

435. THE WORD "WROD" AS IT IS WHAT I JUST WROTE ( ASK MEL FOR DETAILS)

Mel....?seh. it's a whole mispelling sort of thing, you had to be there really,mm. I guess so then, thanks anyway.seh.

436. THE WALRUS OF LOVE YES I AM TALKING OF BARRY WHITE. Christ, I'm on here again? Would anyone work uot what I was saying if I started joking abotu chatting up lengths of copper piping?seh. NO KLN

437. Young Zoe Thomas suggests JARVIS COCKER slc I'm not surprised!!seh.

438. She also reckons that NIGEL OFF OF EASTENDERS should be here.... slc Yes well, we can't have everything now can we?!seh.

439. ...ALSO HELEN DANIELS. Now that I DO agree with as she is an indestructable twat and a studley stud with a degree in studs. I think she's immortal. Slc......and you'd be right. She should have died a long time ago.. Did you know that she's the only original member left? She's also a Highlander. So now you know.seh. wowee. slc

440. THE BLOKE WHO PLAYS MILES IN THIS LIFE. I forgot what his name is in real life, but he showed his arse on TV twice, so he's worth a mention, oh yes. Slc Who's the guy last night who's dad shagged that bird? He was gorgeous!!seh. Egg? He's ok, I've had him Slc I've just reminded myself that his real name is Jack Davenport. I think I've got the squits, by the way....slc Can I taste them please?seh. You wouldn't want to...not after Christine's had them in her mouth. slc. I've had her bubblegum.seh. and me. slc

441. Zoe's just reminded me that DAVID BOWIE should be here, as he is still a stud monger at 50 years of age. Hoorah!!Slc Always has been, always will be.seh. HELLO SPACEBOY,MM. Hey, I saw Ziggy play guitar - in the buff . Am I the only one who, upon hearing the line "making love with his ego" ('Ziggy Stardust') thinks he's going to sing "making love with his socks on " ?....Slc yes.mm. I've got a photo of him kissing another bloke, Jealous? SJ. Of who?seh. No. slc. I am then.seh

442. DARIAN LAMBERT (can't rememder his real name just his characters name - but he is absolutely gorgeous) In what, and who said this? Slc HE WAS THE STAR OF TIME TRAX,MM. AND I DIDN'T NOMINATE HIM,MM. Time Trax? Sorry, I still don't understand. slc shit sci fi programme, very easy to forget,mm. DALE MIDKIFF - that's his name!mm. I'M SORRY, BUT NOBODY IN THE REAL WORLD IS CALLED DALE. EXCEPT DALE FROM CHIP N DALE. AND DALE WINTON. BUT THEN, IS HE REAL? FOR SURELY NO REAL PERSON WOULD WANT TO HOST THE LOTTERY? KLN I bloody hope so!seh. Warren from This Life has a bro. called Dale. And Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks.mm.And Samela's neighbour called Dale. And the Dale from up hills and down Dales. Ask 3 blokes in a bath, they know him.mm and help from slc.

443. ADRIAN PAUL (you're all in trouble if you don't get this one!!!!!!!!!!seh.) I think I'm in trouble then. Slc HIGHLANDER! It's sacrilege but Highlander's actually shite at the moment.seh. Only sacrilege to you as you're the only bugger who watches it.mm. Liar!!!!seh.Anna Trelawney watched it once. So there is two of you. slc. Wow. I knew that I was not the only one.seh. NO, JUST YOU AND A GIRL WHOSE NICKNAME IS PSYCHO. SO YOU NEEDN'T BE WORIED OR ANYTHING. KLN Wasn't mine for a while?...Point proven. Seh..

444. ROBOCOP (HIMSELF). Fancy a cop, Robo? slc. OOhh yes.seh.

445. NOT DAVID HASSELLHOFF (the father of Susannah Hoff from the bangles. He is you know.) It was Susannah Hoffs, by the way. Slc. Oh. What does he walk like then?seh. A crap Egyptian, or course. slc

446. KOSH!!! a boy entered this. Yes, adam hill, but he wouldn't let us tell y'all when he was around. But as it is 8.40pm and I'm still here, tired, achey, pissed off with sockiology (sic) coursework I'm on this now. Well god, i've been at it for hours, and we all know how painful that is.seh. Now we know why Tina Turner walks like that. Simply the best? I would bloody well hope so!!!!Slc. Fancy a commando sheep cacker?seh.

467. STEPHEN COUSINS or is it Robin? ROBIN COUSINS COMMENTATES, STEPHEN COUSINS SKATES. KLN It's Stephen then. slc Robin Cousins was also Frank in Rocky Horror!!mm. Yes, I know. Unfortunately I went with an arse but not just my own. Good show though.seh. An arse you swapped saliva with I bet! slc. Arse!seh.

468. ALEXEI NEMOV (Russian champion gymnast) KLN kate were you watching the TV without your glasses on!!! OH YES I WAS, AND I SAW EVERYTHING. THOSE TIGHTS ARE TIGHT, YOU KNOW. KLN Anyone got it on tape then boys?seh.

469. STEVE BALSAMO Fabulous longhaired singer guy who is jesus christ(superstar).mm. WWhhhoo!!!!HHaa!!!! Did anyone see him at an award show? He was singing and he was getting so emotional and into it, he STARTED CRYING!!!! I did aswelll!! Slc yes yes yes yes he's a baaaaabe. blg Calm down, big boy. slc I saw that award thingy, and I also got all choked up (seperate occasions?),mm.Well I fancy him and I've never even seen him.Beat that.seh.Show me the whip and I'll be happy to oblige.mm. There it is. Can you see it? It's hidden somewhere nice.seh.

470. QUENTIN TARENTINO - he's got the most beautiful voice ( in my opinion). mm

471. JEFF GOLDBLUM,mm. Here is a FLY mel What, stinks of shit? slc You,mm Did anyone see him in The Tall Guy? Foxy then, ok? slc

472. THAT BLOKE WHO PLAYS GARY IN EARLY EDITION. FFFwwwwwooorrgghhhh!!! Slc Kln (Kyle Chandler) who???

473. THAT GUY WHO PLAYS GARY'S FRIEND IN EARLY EDITION ( FISHER STEVENS ). mm. who??? also in Short Circuit films and guest stared in an episode of Friends as Pheobes psychiatrist boyfriend ( - "I HATE THAT GUY!!" )mm. aka Chuck. Also cuter in Hackers, with longish hair.mm. Unattractive git. Seh. That was Fisher Stevens, who used to be with Michelle 'I'm 39' Pfeiffer.slc

474. YOU, YES YOU - THE SEXY BEAST WHO IS READING THIS AT THE VERY MOMENT!!! Why thankyou. I'm already on here as Barry White, Paul Nichols, Susan Harvester and one of the Ribena berries. Not to mention Girlfriends, wife's and Sam's men. But hey, I'm not picky.seh. WE'VE NOTICED,MM. Ok, but you can't be Tiger Woods, too. That's just asking a bit too much. slc

No. you're soo wrong.seh.

475. GERI (of the big jugs) Slc and the small dress.mm. And the loose _ _ _ _ _ seh. What? Bowels? slc. Yes, that's right sam. You've been looking haven't you?seh. It's hard not too with Geri. slc

476. MEL C. My, she's lovely. Show us your high kick!!Slc

477. MEL B. Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough......I know I am...Slc

477B. MEL M. The classiest of the unoffical Spices...probably the easiest aswell...slc. I was about to ask who, but I thought of the easiest person alive and suddenly I knew exactly who you were talking about. She's damn easy, but polluted too. Stay away, it'll kill you. She killed my cousin once by kissing her hand. Shit, that is mad.seh.

478. EMMA Me and Lee have had debates about this. Emma's his favourite, mine's Mel C.(sporty) What do you think? Slc Sporty spice has a weird shaped body and no tits. Emma's great. blond hair, blue eyes, chubby cheeks ( facial) and a waist. definitely emma,mm. Yeah, but Mel C's gained some class of late...she can always have implants. slcNone of them thankyou very much.seh.. Spice Girls....Class?mm.

479. VICTORIA..........Come on then, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want....Slc Could it be that you really really really want to zig a zig ah?mm. No, zig ah zig arse . slc. Is this the one I dreamed about last night? Posh spice?I was in her house talking, cool dream. She's a dog in real life, honey. Don't be fooled by the media. My dreams speak the truth.seh. I wouldn't have thought Posh Spice to be a dog...a pussy, yes..slc. A dog sam, a dog. My dreams speak the truth.seh.

480. RICHIE THE VAMPIRE ( r.i.p.)mm. Oh yes indeedy.

481. RON FROM GOODNIGHT SWEETHEART. I honestly fancy him, and I'm not being sarcastic either.seh.- Victor McGuire He's a stud who deserves special treatment. I volunteer first.seh. I can't believe that Gary is now going to be a bigamist...did anyone watch it the other day? No? Am I alone ? would seem so. slc. Yes, I never miss it. Did you catch on how to do the reflexology trick after?seh. sorry..no.slc

482. THE BLOKE WHO 'IMPRESSED' JULIAN CLARY ON STARS IN THEIR EYES. Dig that voice. Dig it real good.seh. Show us your stars. No, doesn't work I'm afraid. The intention was there though...slc. It worked for me sam.seh.

483. SIMON PARKIN. Yes our sime. IS THIS THE SAME SIMON PARKIN WHO USED TO PRESENT CBBC? RED HAIR? OR WAS IT CITV? SOMETHING LIKE THAT ANYWAY. KLN yep.

484. STEVE BUSCEMI mm - ask for explanation. I agree (sorry) slc WOW!!! Someone else who not only knows who the hell I'm talking about, but also agrees with me - WEIRD!- ( please ignore insults which follow, see NO.486)mm.p.s. Why did you apologise?mm. I haven't got a bloody clue what you're talking about. You're a bunch of slappers really, aren't you?seh. And it's taken you this long to work that out?mm. Not really, I'm being polite.seh.

485. CUBA GOODING JNR.

486. COLIN FIRTH - how could I forget Mr.Darcy? KLN Easily, he's vile - slc You leave Fitzwilliam alone you insulting slapper. You just don't know class when you see it. Sorry, got a bit carried away there, nothing personal.mm. LEAVE MR.DARCY ALONE BECAUSE HE'S NICE REALLY. WHEN YOU GET TO KNOW HIM. WHICH IS DIFFICULT, I ADMIT, BECAUSE HE'S NOT REALLY REAL. KLN Phwoargghh.seh. No, he's a blow up doll, my blow up doll. slc. Do you blow him up?seh. No I use my pumping pump when I'm feeling tired. slc

487. PEOPLE WITH PURPLE NAIL VARNISH. Thanks!!!! Slc Yes. thanks. But what about blue?seh. Only if Mr Spoons wears nail varnish. Mister spoo-oons. Diamond geezer, get serious, I'm looking for a guy who makes you delirious. The man on the bus with the vacant stare, tap him on the forehead. (tap) there's nothing there. He's insane, a real cool cat. Is he a yankie? -no he's a prat. mister spoo-oons, mister spoo-oons.seh. Eh? slc. You really are a twat aren't you? How could you not know this?seh. I am the twatiest of twats. slc. It was off of Steve Wright's afternoon show on radio one, several yaers ago. I might still have it on tape.seh.

488. CRAIG SHEFFER KLN HE PLAYED HARRISON BURNS IN THAT "SEASON IN PURGATORY" THINGAMEBOB ON SATURDAY AND SUNDAY NIGHTS.........oh right.....graet...how nice to know...woo.seh.

489. JONNY LEE MILLER - stud from hackers and trainspotting

490. MATTHEW LILLARD - hackers.yum.

491. GARY MAVERS WHO? the blonde doc. from PP.

492. TIGER WOODS. Growl. SLC and KLN I bet he's really a lion, Rowr slc. I'll say miaow to any pussy.seh.I'M TIGER WOODS!mm.no I'm tiger woods!. dlm. Don't be so bloody silly. It's me again. I'm Tiger Woods.seh. I've seen Tigers in Woods, but that's about it, I'm afraid. slc. You should be afraid, I'm about to bite your ankles.seh. I don't have any, sorry. I have legs then feet..someone got there before you, but I can't say who. Well, it was a stud, and if I mention his name, I'm afraid he may be removed for assault...Oh, ok, it was number 445, there I've said it. please spare him. slc

493. MAN FROM THE GILETTE ADVERT THAT HANGS OVER THE SIDE OF THE CLIFF. And the bloke that sings on the razor advert. And the bloke in the advert for a car that has kim basinger in it. I take it that these three are a single joint stud then Kate? Slc Does that mean that they all belong in the same cage and all get the "treatment" together? I hope so, that'd be fun.seh. Knowing you lot I bet you also fancy the guy from the Lynx ad. You know, the one with Jennifer " Go on. Wash the strength back in" Aniston. Bet you do. Mm. I don't fancy the guy but unfortunately the Lynx effect happens quite strongly dlm.Thanks for the tip.mm. Thanks, once I know what the hell you're all on about.seh. I love Jennifer Anniston, though. I wish she showed me that much appreciation, but alas no.... That's why this advert should be on here. Slc

494. THE DISHY BLOKE IN THE JOHNSONS BABY AD. What a cutie. Slc would tis be the guy who takes a shower with the little sprog?? Dlm. Ooooooooooohhhhhhh yes. Slc

495. THE SONG 'A BOY NAMED SUE' BY JOHNNY CASH........."I gat all choked up and I threw down ma gun, I called him a Pa and he called me a Son, and I came away with a different point of view. I think of him every now and then, every time I try and every time I win, and if I ever have a kid, I think I'm gonna call him...Bill or George, anything but Sue." Discuss. I'm called sue y'know. Now discuss.seh. I'm afraid that fact bears no relevance on this essay title. Do not argue with me (the chief examiner), just do the essay, do it! slc

496. MELONY MCGINN ( because she was feeling left out cos eveyone else is on here). Phwoargghh. Ooh baby. Snog me, shag me. Lick me dry! You're the driest of the dry. slc. Only because of those diseases whcih you couldn't keep to yourself. I'll never recover thanks to you.seh.

497. THE SHERIFF GUY FROM TWIN PEAKS - from some camera angles mm and kln. But not others. Maybe we ought to constantly have cameras on all of the studs (esp.in the breeding sessions). Wouldn't that be nice.seh.

498. RUFUS SEWELL, he was in Middlemarch and Cold Comfort Farm and the film Carrington. KLN. So where is he now?seh. Licking cream off my dad's knob. That's where. oh yes. slc. Can I see?seh. Show me the cash and I'll give you a flash, slc

499. BETTE MIDLER- because she wore a dress with flashing lights. Was she a tree or a tart? Sam's a tree, where-as Kate wheres no pants so she's a tart. A tart, T.A.R.T. seh. Steph has informed me that Bette is so special because the flashing lights are on her jugs. I hope that justifies her being on here. slc. That'll do, but I still maintain the arguement against Val Kilmer, Mr 3-times so special person. Lets have him off!seh.

500. THE BLOKE CALLED TARQUIL THAT WEARS HIS TROLLIES THE WRONG WAY ROUND! (WITH ADDITIONAL LLAMA BADGE) KLN

WELL EVERYBODY, WE HAVE OUR 500 (ISH) STUDS - TIME TO MAKE THE STUD FARM LIST - THE NEXT GENERATION!

Make the bloody font smaller....or I'll spank you!seh. Tease me, tease me, tease me, tease me beby, til I lose contro-oo-ol..slc