My Dilemma
Well, here I am .... errrr ... was. I didn't plan for this
to be an introspective experience, but that's what it has turned out to
be. Really, this kicked off my whole self discovery journey. Who
would have imagined that hair could cause so much drama? How can hair be
political? Let me take you on a journey of still unchartered
proportions... the final frontier ... Are you getting excited? What
I'm trying to say is that I am still on this journey so stay tuned for updates
and so forth.
Anyway, in the winter of 1998, my dermatologist instructed me to never put another harsh chemical in my hair or on my scalp. I had been having chronic skin and scalp irritations and my
hair had been falling out from the root for almost a year. I could also
tell the texture of my hair had changed. Because I have aunts and cousins
who developed alopecia in their 30's, I was terrified that this is what was
happening to me, so I went to a dermatologist. She took several cultures
and gave me antibiotics and prescriptions for my skin and told me to come back
in 3 months.
I needed a touch up badly but I could not put any chemicals on my hair until after I went back for my follow up appointment, or so I thought. 
During this time, I
wore a nice wig. I got nothing but compliments and my co-workers
affectionately called me "Tina Turner". My wearing mini-skirts and leather
boots probably helped the image too. Well, I've certainly been called
worse!! It was funny .... although I felt attractive and got plenty
compliments from people, I felt like I was trying to front. Like everyone
knew I was wearing a wig and, after I turned my back, talked about me trying to
"fool somebody". I know it was all in my head because many people said
they would have never known I was wearing a wig if I hadn't told them.
Regardless, it wasn't me. Oh, and don't let a strong wind blow by ... I
was praying that I didn't lose my hair in public! On the outside, I was
"fly" but on the inside, I was very insecure.
NEXT