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| CHAPTER 3 Her "guests" had settled into a routine after the first few days. Jack still wasn’t strong enough to go to school yet, so she slept, watched the vid screen and did light cleaning around the place. Zar was relieved when she started eating anything not nailed down. Like a typical teenager. Imam had found a mosque in the complex and spent his time there when not watching over Jack. Courteous to a fault, he helped out around the apartment whenever he could. She sensed he was disappointed in Richard and his continuing aloofness. He seemed to be a mission to reform the man who obviously did not want to be reformed. But one thing didn’t make sense. For a guy who so wanted to be seen as a loner, Richard spent almost all his non-work time with the three of them. Not that he talked a lot to any of them. But he was always there. Watching, listening, making Zar jumpy. Richard had recuperated quickly after a shower and a hot meal the first day. The man could eat like a horse! But she gave him credit for going out the next day and finding a job on the loading docks. They were always looking for new workers since the job was so dangerous and the turn-over high. Zar had heard of more than a few "loady’s" getting squashed between containers. When she warned him about the dangers, he just gave her one of those shit-eating smiles. So she shrugged her shoulders and figured she’d done her duty. None of the group had volunteered any information about where they had come from or why they had arrived in such bad shape. She knew one thing though. Jack suffered some whopper sized nightmares. The first night she’d heard her scream she thought someone had broken in and was killing the girl. The terror of those screams still had the power to make her shiver even now. Zar hated blasters and gauges of any type and didn’t keep any in the apartment. But she would’ve given her left hand to have one after hearing those screams. She had rushed to the girls’ room expecting to have to force the door open to rescue her. The sight that greeted her instead was Jack enfolded in Richard’s arms, sobbing her heart out. Zar didn’t know what had shook her more. The girls sobs or the sight of Richard holding her so kindly. Just when she figured him out for a total shit-head, he did something that made her see a different side of the man. Not that he wanted her to see him for anything other than a shit-head. He did his best to keep her pissed at him. Whenever he did talk it was most likely to complain about the food, the bed, her perfume, the size of her ass and any other little item that seemed a candidate for bitching over. And done all with a nasty smile and even nastier tone of that baritone voice. But she was realizing more and more that Richard could be a different kind of man. She’d catch him staring at her back in the mornings as she got ready for work. But it was so damn hard to figure out what he was thinking behind those shining orbs of his. He seemed to wear the goggles less and less in the apartment. She figured he thought his eyes bothered her and kept her on edge. All the better, in his warped little view, in keeping her from asking too many questions or getting to close. And they did bother her. But the didn’t disgust her. Rather she felt compassion for the man growing. He had obviously had a hard start in life. And had had to do some serious shit just to survive. Even to the point of letting himself be mutilated. Zar was smart enough not to let him in on her true feelings. He wouldn’t appreciate them at all and would probably redouble his efforts to piss her off. So she just played along with his little torture games. And when he got too mean, she just stayed out of his way. It seemed the smartest way to go. She had no idea why she put up with him. Well, yes she did. She knew Imam and Jack wouldn’t stay if she kicked Richard out. And she liked their company very much. She hadn’t had anyone to mother and fuss over in a long time and it felt good to be needed. It was only for them that she let him stay. Or so she told herself. But the uncomfortable truth was that she caught herself breathing heavier whenever he entered the room with just her in it. Almost as if her instincts were expecting him to attack her. She wouldn’t examine too closely the fact that her breathing reaction could be identical to sexual arousal. She hadn’t pressed them to find a place of their own now that they had money coming in. As long as they didn’t bring up the issue, she wasn’t going to either. She had even taken the money Richard left on the counter from his first paycheck and spent it on new clothes for Jack. And Richard in his normal taciturn way hadn’t said "boo" when he’d seen Jack in her new finery. The kid had positively glowed with happiness when she showed off her new clothes to him. Oh, he gave Jack a big smile and hug. And said absolutely nothing to Zar. Not "thanks", not "they’re ugly", not anything. It had been left to Imam, who obviously felt ashamed that Richard had not said anything, to thank her. So she ignored him as much as she could. If he wanted to treat her like an enemy that was his business. She knew she’d done nothing to merit his crappy treatment. So fuck him...let him play games with himself. But if she was totally honest with herself, she would admit it hurt that he treated her that way. She usually loathed men of his kind. Bullies, brutal, violent. But for some perverse reason she wanted to please him. To hear his praise. Probably for the same perverse reason that she had been having erotic dreams about him. If it had just been nighttime dreams she could excuse them for the uncontrollable actions of a mind under the influence of sleep. But more and more she caught herself day dreaming about Richard too. And whew! What day dreams they were! Maybe that was another reason why she avoided him. She was too afraid he’d see the desire in her eyes. And then, Oh boy!, he’d let loose a stream of vindictive and taunting comments that would leave her feeling like an some low-life woman who only got the hots for the bad guys. Better to drag her mind away from anything having to do with him altogether. She looked up from the luggage belt next to her and gazed around. It had been a really slow day with few arrivals. Which made the day go that much longer. Across the room, she saw a group of men offloading on the number 4 ramp. Dear God, no! It can’t be him! Elson Brenner! Her world tilted crazily. She knew she wasn’t far from fainting and made a jerky movement to sit down. It had caught his attention and now he was staring at her. There eyes met for what felt like hours instead of the 15 seconds it actually was. Seeing those light, evil eyes made the memories flood back. Memories she had worked hard at burying for four whole years. But now they were washing over her. And bringing with them all the rage, pain and horror that had been her life before coming to Polaris. She had to get out of there! She couldn’t breathe! What if he recognized her?! Would he come after her?! The group?! No...he didn’t seem to have recognized her in the brief once over he gave her. But the memories were coming on strong now, along with the pain. They were going to sweep her under! She knew she had to get some place safe before she lost the ability to function. As nonchalantly as she could on wobbly legs she made her way over to the desk where the time clock was. Her supervisor, George Shipowitz sat staring a vid screen. Probably porn knowing George. Which might work in her favor. If George was engrossed in his entertainment, he might not give as hard a time as he normally would. "George...I’m sick. I’m going home." Her voice left no doubt that no matter how much he whined, she wouldn’t change her mind. "’Kay...whatever. Just leave me alone." His eyes had never left the screen. |
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