| CHAPTER 5 After the fight with Richard, going out was the last thing she felt like doing. Even though she did kind of want to talk to Molly. Not that she could fill her in completely. But at least they could have one Hell of a good man-bashing, tequila-downing, bitch fest. It felt right and at the same time wrong to cancel the night out. Right because she was too damn tired to party, wrong because she felt like she was letting him and his fucking “prophecy” rule how she lived her life. By the time her shift was done, she was exhausted. More mentally than physically. But it all felt the same...shitty. So shitty that upon finding the apartment depressingly empty (she had no idea why she expected him to be home, but it hurt just the same) Zar barely had enough energy to take a bathroom stop, strip and fall in bed. No dinner, no shower, do not pass go...go straight to jail. Or oblivion, which ever came first. Oblivion won. The dream started out nice enough. Audrey, Hill, Richard and herself on a picnic. The sky was blue, the air warm but breezy, the Sun hot and bright. The tree shading their blanket and food was a sturdy old oak surrounded by what seemed miles of green, green grass. Audrey was climbing the tree, Hill was cooing on his back. Blowing bubbles as he discovered that he had toes. She was leaning her back up against the tree, with Richard’s head on her lap. He looking up at her with normal brown eyes. Smiling at her with a smile that would never in reality touch his face. It was too relaxed. The open smile of a man with nothing to be ashamed of, a man with an easy ability to laugh. A man who hadn’t been skull fucked by Fate. He was reaching for the back of her neck to bring her face down to his for a kiss. Instantly his eyes changed to the shining orbs of reality. The sky turned dark and threatening. The gentle breeze became furious and cold. His hand had tightened painfully on her neck so that she couldn’t look around for Audrey and Hill. His smile became a sick, deep laugh of mockery. Laughing derisively at her terror. He brought her mouth down to his. Invaded it with his tongue coarsely. Grabbed a handful of her hair to keep her anchored to him. He bit her lip and she tasted blood. Heard and felt the heart in her chest beat frantically as she tried to twist free. He released her mouth and let her lift her head a few inches. Smiling Riddick’s scary smile as he taunted her, “See Zar, told you it was more than just a nightmare.” She came out the nightmare violently. And nearly pissed herself when she saw the shadow sitting on the edge of the bed next to her. Her terrorized brain needing a few extra seconds to differentiate the dream from reality. It was only Richard. Holy shit! It was Richard! For five seconds she was back in the terror of her dream. But then reality came blissfully to the rescue. Whoever or whatever Richard was, he wasn’t the man in the dream. Of that she had no doubt. It was just her worry for him manifesting itself in the warped way unconsciousness does. “Richard...what’s wrong?” He was just sitting there. In the harsh green light of the wall clock lit room it was hard for her tell, but since she couldn’t see his reflective eyes, she figured he wasn’t looking at her. Rather it seemed he sat with his elbows on his thighs, hands hanging between his legs. His head slightly bowed. He must’ve felt her body jump as she came out the nightmare, if not hear her loudly beating heart. But he hadn’t made any gesture to acknowledge that he was even aware of her being in the same room. An air of sadness swelled around him. Stripped of his protective shell of danger, he seemed lost. It made her forgive the fight of earlier and the brutality of his nightmare doppelganger. Resentment and hurt were replaced with compassion and a desire to take away his pain. She guessed it was the litmus test of true love. She hoped she passed. For both of theirs sake. Raising to her knees, she made her way across the bed. Then encircled his naked back with her body. Her arms wrapping around his hair dusted stomach. Resting her cheek lightly against his shoulder blade, she concentrated on giving him time to tell her what he needed to. Felt the strong beat of his heart next to her breast, the warmth of his skin as it transferred itself to hers, the rise and fall of his stomach muscles as he breathed in and out. She could feel the blackness of hopelessness trying to fill him. Not the ugly black of evil, but the drugging, soul destroying, joy stealing ink of despair. Damned is she was going to let it have him without a fight. For long minutes they stayed that way. Lovers entwined in silent commiseration with each other. Till finally the darkness of the heart was forced to leave, if just for the time God allotted to happiness and desire. Lifting her face, she started to press small kisses to where her cheek had rested. At the same time, her hands began wandering over the flesh of his torso. Lightly drifting over his well defined abs and lats. She wanted her loving to be a gift. Not just of desire, but of forgiveness, of endurance...of strength of get through whatever they had to get through. Lightly grabbing her hands, he turned his head towards hers as he asked, “Do you ever think of Hill and Audrey?” What the Hell had brought that on?! The question threw her. Coming so close on the heels of her dream, it rattled her more than it normally would’ve. They rarely talked about the kids. An unspoken acknowledgement that brining up a subject over which they could do nothing would only cause pain. Laying her cheek against his back once more, she thought about what she should tell him. Would telling him about the dream only freak him out more? If she lied, he’d know it, probably leading to an even bigger problem. Seems she had little choice in the matter. “Yeah...I do. I was having a dream about them just now. I’ve had others. When I’m awake, they slip in. To be completely honest, I usually think about them at least once a day.” Shrugging as if it were no big deal, she quietly whispered, “I miss them.” She felt the deep breath he took as he let her hands go. Reaching around with his own hand to rest on her hip. A brief gesture of comfort. “They come to me too. I think about what kind of life they would’ve had if I hadn’t been in it. What you’re life would’ve been like.” The self-derision in his voice made her tighten her arms in reaction. Fierce love and loyalty overflowed her voice when she spoke back, “They’d both be dead if it weren’t for you! Audrey never would’ve survived Taurus 2 without you. And you kept Leffner from getting Hill. Richard, no matter what violence we...yes, I said ‘we’...brought into their lives, we also brought love and happiness. Sending them to Imam was the best thing we could’ve done for them, under the circumstances. But that doesn’t mean their time with us was a bad thing. There were a lot of happy times on Polaris. Something they didn’t have...I didn’t have... much of before.” She received no response to her passionate rebuttal of his self-directed loathing. The silence stretched with just the gentle breathing of both breaking it. Her need to comfort couldn’t be contained any longer. He was too wrapped up in his nightmare’s hideous promise. Too much of a deep thinker to let it go. He needed distraction. He needed her. She pleaded with him. All the frustration of the last weeks making her voice hoarse. Rising slightly, pressing her breasts against his back, she kissed the spot just beneath his ear, begging, “Please don’t push me away. We’re all the other has. I love you, need you. I know you feel the same. Don’t let whatever has it’s claws in you win.” Taking her arms from around his waist, she ran them over his sides, up to his shoulders. Massaging muscle’s tightened by stress and work. Slowly they started to relax. His skin growing warmer under her fingers. She rarely took the lead in their lovemaking. It wasn’t her style, and being in control was his. But desperate times called for a change in attitudes. Hell, she’d fuck him the middle of the cantina if it would take the hopelessness and fear from his mind. Bending her mouth to his moist skin, she started to lick and lightly bite a path across his shoulders then down his back. Taking her time, hoping the soft caresses did the job her words couldn’t seem to accomplish. His body was so beautiful. Strong, large and exquisitely roped with muscles honed to perfection by the hard work of the mines. Touching him came so easy. A joy to be able to revel in the power and strength that was so much a part of his physical presence. Each time she touched his body, it was like exploring a fine piece of art she never expected to own. It made her giddy to think that he was all hers. That she could touch him, taste him, feel him inside of her any time she pretty much wanted. His breath had hitched as she brought her hands once more around his waist. Softly running them over his hair covered chest. Passing over his sensitive nipples with a light stroke that meant to entice and inflame. Smiling, she felt his heart start to pound, his skin moisten with need. Her fingers traveled slowly down his waist. Tickling with just the tips in the crevasse where hip met thigh. Knowing he expected her to take him in her hand, she instead ran her palms over his rough haired thighs. The movement made her nipples harden against his back. She felt her own breathing and heart rate speed up with the deepening contact. The heavy congestion between her thighs making her more in sympathy with his needs. Taking just a small amount of pity on him, she ran her fingertips lightly over his erection. Trailing down to the sacks beneath. His breath left him in a grunt. He’d all the teasing he could take. Taking her hands in his, he pulled her off the bed and swung her around to set her on her feet before him. Zar felt a small, but deep, surge of triumph at the look in his silvered eyes. There was nothing there but desire for her. No fear, no dejection, no sense of doom. The only thoughts in his mind was for her and her body. And how he could take possession of both in the shortest amount of time. Being so long of body in comparison to her shortness, her breasts came just at his eye level. Bringing her in between his thighs, he captured one nipple between his lips. Sucking hard and applying a small bite just deep enough to bring a twinge of pleasure pain. Gripping his shoulders at the onslaught of pleasure, Zar’s head fell back. Her hips unconsciously arching closer to him. Letting her nipple slip from his mouth, he ran his hands down her flanks. Stopping to massage her hips as his mouth licked slowly down her stomach to play in her belly button. Then running them over her buttocks and down into the chasm that separated the globes. Dipping into the well that was filling with the evidence of her desire for him. Briefly he played his fingers over her. In her. Enjoying the little sounds of need she couldn’t contain as he invaded her body with his fingers. Setting up a deep rhythm of in and out. Making sure to brush against the nub that was distended with hunger. He felt her body clamp around his fingers. Her legs starting to shake with the effort to keep standing. Removing his fingers, he forced her legs apart then lifted her into his arms. Bringing her wet heat flush against his belly then letting her slide down in a excruciatingly slow path to his lap. Her legs hanging over his thighs to kneel precariously on the bed, her body impaled by his flesh. Her gasp sounded loud in the room as she convulsively grabbed his shoulders for support. Louder even than their labored breathing. It made him feel like a god. It made the darkness go away. It made the future look bright. It made him want to fight for what would always be his. In life or death. She was his. In short, it made him want to live. With her, forever. Fuck the dream, screw Fate, bite me God. He’d kill any one or any thing that tried to take her away from him. Or take it down with him. Enclosing her face within his large palms he brought her mouth to his, plunging his tongue fiercely into the sweet cavity. Dueling with her more than willing tongue as he felt her lower body start to move against his. Ripping his mouth from hers, he reached for her breasts. They watched each others eyes as their bodies did the ancient dance. Zar could feel the orgasm coming on fast. It was stripping her of her will. Her eyes began to close when the heady electrifying heat started to rush over her nerve endings. “No! Keep your eyes open. I want to watch you come.” Forcing her eyes to stay open doubled the pleasure. Racing it over and in her body. Reaching one hand to where her wet curls met his, he flicked her swollen clitoris. “Scream for me. Scream my name. Let them know who they have to go through to get to you.” His name reverberated throughout the dark bedroom as her body convulsed on his. Followed quickly by his growling “Mine. Forever.” as he emptied his essence into her. Her head collapsed onto his shoulder. The hard loving having wiped out her strength momentarily. Wrapping his arms around her, he felt the his world tilt back on it’s normal axis. Where before, for weeks, he’d been almost disoriented and paralyzed with fear for her, now he knew what needed to be done. And God help whatever, or whoever, came to take her away from him. It would find him more than it’s match, he promised both himself and the woman in his arms. The master of the skull-fuck was back. |
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