Ridin' the Rails and Learnin' Czech

by Steven Pruner

Riding trains can be pleasurable. I know many Czechs complain about CD. The trains don't run on time and when they do they're dirty and the staff are surly and the list goes on and on and on. But I like the trains here. When I lived in Beroun I used to visit Prague two or three times a week and the train ride along the Berounka was a pleasure. The views were always pleasing. And it was a real treat to get a compartment to myself. I'd  close the door, sit back and admire the river whilst listening to the sound of the wheels rolling on the tracks - very pleasant. It's true that the buses ran more often than the trains but I found the buses to be too crowded for comfort, particularly when two or three passengers were engaged in mobile telephone conversations. For some it must be difficult to imagine how we ever lived without them. But we did! Anyway, that's another story.      Trains can be educational too. You never know whom you will meet like the man I met from Pilsen who tried to tell me about the Czechs. When he found out I spoke English he couldn't wait to give me a history lesson about the American troops passing through his city during World War Two. I think he felt bitterly disappointed that the Americans let the Russians get to Prague first and believed that if the Americans had done it first the last fifty years would have been kinder to the Czech people, but I digress. Then he went on to tell me that if tragedy strikes a Czech, for example, his pig takes ill and dies, he doesn't hope that his neighbour's pig stays healthy. On the contrary, he wishes his neighbour's pig would die, too.      You can even learn to speak another language on Czech trains. I bet CD doesn't know their passengers are providing this free service. One Sunday evening on a train packed full of young soldiers returning to barracks I had to share my compartment with two of them who were engaged in a most important conversation. One of them, whilst eating a sandwich, listened very carefully to every word his companion uttered. His friend talked and talked and talked; I thought to myself, is his story ever going to end? Whilst one talked the other chewed. Occasionally, in every possible tone of voice and speed, the hungry one would say a couple of words - in fact, they were the only words he spoke between Smichovske nadrazi and Beroun. He said the same words so often and in so many ways, I had them memorised before the train had even passed Dobrichovice. Of course, when I got home, I pulled out my cesko-anglicky slovnik and searched for them, but in vain. I could say the words, but I couldn't find them in my dictionary. And I had no idea what they meant. I eventually learned from a Czech mate that "ox" has more than one use: "ty vole!"

This story was written for P.O.R.G.'s students' magazine, Porgazine, Issue 29, published November 2000 in Prague.  As the English teacher at P.O.R.G., I was responsible for providing the content for the English page in this Czech student magazine. This version appeared with a Czech translation so students could compare the vocabulary and grammar.