Harry: Oh come on! How hard is it to think of a title?
Draco: And who the hell is Rach? You cant even form those letters into a syllable.
Author: Dark Angel with some help from Razzy Weasely
Draco: Tsk tsk Weasley. Having even more kids? Your parents poor paychecks
Ron: *Growls* Shove. It. Malfoy.
Summary: Er... In the works... Basically Harry's twin
Harry: I have a twin?
Hermione: Why wasnt he- and the millions of other wizards who should know- informed?
falls in love with (dun
dun dun!) Draco Malfoy
Draco: Is *anyone* surprised by that?
Anyone: ....
Draco: Good.
& maybe vice versa....
Draco: Whats this maybe bullshit? Your the author. You control what happens. There is no guest work.
Much bad language & a few
*cough* MATURE scenes
Hermione: Great. Not mature enough to *say* mature scenes, let alone write them
. Suggestive dialogue. This means... "Little kids, RUN
FOR YOUR LIVES!!!"
Ron: I think it means everyone should run for their lives
Harry: Honestly... what little kid gets on FF.net these days?
A/N: The stuff in between asterisks like this *Wow. That's cool! *
Draco: Wow! Its not.
are the
thoughts of a character in the POV chapters.
Hermione: Point of interest- theres only one chapter.
The new Marauders are illegal
Animagi, as were the previous ones.
Harry: *Sighs* Always with new Marauders, and theyre almost *always* vapid, boring, Mary Sues who
dont do Padfoot, Prongs, and Moony justice. In the least.
STORY TIME!!!
Draco: Also known as high noon
Hermione: Uh, Draco, thats shooting time
Draco: *Mutters* If I had a gun right now thats what it would be
Chapter 1 (narrator POV): The New Girl
Harry: Augh! A new Mary Sue already!
Draco: ‘Augh?’ What are you, Charlie Brown?
Hermione: Yes he is. And your the Lucy to his football punt
Draco: Huh?
As the fifth years entered the Great Hall of Hogwarts the young Marauders
Hermione: We still have no idea who these people are
noticed a brown haired girl their age walk over towards the first years.
Draco: Yikes. She must be thick- a 5th year age entering first year.
Harry: At least it makes sense, her starting at the beginning and all. Thats a rarely avoided plot hole.
The
marauders sat in their usual seats near Fred & George.
Hermione: Even though we all sit at different places in the table, every single day
"She's pretty, eh Fred?" asked George. Fred nodded vigorously.
Draco: Oi. Yep. Mary Sue. And you are UGLY, even if it is only in your head
Hermione: You seem extra touchy lately...
Draco: This is our second MST in a row of Mary Sues. I *hate* them
"Wonder what's she doin with the first years though?"
Ron: Well, you know shes new. So shes being sorted. Erm, duh?
Draco: But dont they do that at the first day, when the 5th years would just be unpacking?
Ron: Oh GOD. I made my OWN plot hole
Dazzle & Razzy sighed in exasperation. "Easy, she's new ... duh!"
Harry: Oh GOD! Two more Mary Sues. Kill me.
Draco: And they talk like Ron
Dazzle
rolled her blue eyes, she looked just like her mother,
Hermione: Her mother always used to roll her eyes?
Lily Potter. Except
Harry: Oh. Jesus. Christ. So my parents named one child Harry and one child Dazzle? Riiight...
for her eyes, she had James' eyes.
Draco: Ew... get those out of her mouth
Harry: Ew, Draco.
"She must be coming here from another school... I wonder where, though?"
Ron: Transfer students- the most used Mary Sue inscision technique on the planet
Hermione: Shouldnt there be some explanation of how the hell this girl got to school? And who ‘Razzy’ is.
Draco: You mean besides an annoying, pointless bitch?
Hermione: Yeah.
Razzy said arching her eyebrows. Harry was to busy trying to stay away from
Colin to notice his girlfriend's & sister's preoccupation.
Harry: Oh *god*.
Draco: *Snickers* Your surrounded, Potter
Harry: So this girl shows up fifth year out of no where, and I go out with her, abandoaning my pining for
Cho? God damn you Mary Sues!
Although Ron's
bluish eyes on the other hand were on the new girl.
Ron: Wow. They werent even close on that one
Draco: You do know theyre pairing you with Mary Sue 3, right?
Ron: Fuck. Fuck and a HALF.
"Hey, Fang ... she's not your type."
Ron: Fang? Fang is Hagrids pet.
Draco: And they dont know what kind of type this girl is.
Dazzle hissed vehemently as she prodded
Ron viciously with her steak knife,
Hermione: Oh ow! You *do* know a steak knife, prodded visciously, would cut a three inch whole in his
cheek?
blue eyes flashing.
Draco: Damn. This girls got a thing for blue eyes
"Ow! Dazz, babe ... that hurt! " Ron rubbed his side & glared daggers at
Dazzle.
Ron: Of course it did! You severed my bloody mouth!
Hermione: Ron doesnt call girls ‘babe’.
"I was merely observing the fact that she reminds me of someone..."
Harry: Erm, no. No you werent.
"Who?!" Razzy & Dazzle demanded. As Ron shrugged.
Ron: Wait, I thought they were talking....
Draco: Cant even remember who she reminds you of. Thats sad, Weasley.
"I dunno."
Razzy got sick of Harry being distracted so she decided to mess with Colin's
head.
Hermione: Here she comes! MS2 to save the day!
Razzy grinned evilly her green/brown eyes glittering.
Draco: She has two different colored eyes? You know how to pick them, Potter
Harry: Shut up, Draco
"Shit, not again..." said Ron & Dazzle in resignation as Razzy tapped Harry's
shoulder.
Hermione: People do not talk in synch like that!
Harry: Why am I dating Razzy? She seems stupid and bitchy.
"What?" asked Harry, somewhat distracted when Razzy gave Colin a very
meaningful look.
Ron: <Razzy> I want you Colin. And Neville. Now. All over the table.
Draco: <Razzy> And Im a bitch.
Harry: <Razzy> With weird eyes
Hermione: You guys can be so harsh.
"Hey... Colin, you might want to leave Harry alone.... " she smirked,
"remember what happened last time you wouldn't bug off?"
Draco: Woah. Slytherin behavior. Im suddenly attracted to her.
The entire
Gryffindor table snickered in remembrance of Colin's 'accident' as Razzy
grinned wickedly.
Harry: So what, the girl Im dating jumped Colin in an alley or something? Christ she sounds bitchy.
Colin glanced at her & scooted warily down the bench.
"Oh, er... Sorry. Bye!" The new girl heard Colin's last comment and her grey
eyes showed curiosity.
Harry: If I wanted someone to hurt Colin, Id have told him myself to bug off. I was being nice.
Then the next one to be Sorted was called up
Draco: Way to mention theyre sorting people
, the grey
eyed girl.
Draco: This chick has a serious obsession with eyes.
"Lupin, Kina!" barked McGonagall as the marauders nearly gasped.
Hermione: Wow do you *nearly* gasp? It sounds like youd choke.
Lupin's
daughter?
Draco: Being the daughter of a Lupin would explain the last name, wouldnt it? Of course, Lupin isnt
altogether an uncommon name...
After a moment the Sorting Hat declared.
"One more for Gryffindor!" All the Gryffindors cheered as the Slytherins
hissed
Hermione: The sorting hat does not rhyme.
Draco: And slytherins do not hiss, despite our symbol. We simply destroy your self esteem over a long
period of time. Do something.
. Harry motioned for Kina to sit with them. As she walked over & sat
down they noticed her uncanny resemblance to Lupin.
Harry: Im being unusually friendly considering my girlfriend is right there.
"Are you Lupin's daughter?" Ron blurted to her. Her reply was somewhat icy,
in contrast to her friendly demeanor. It surprised the young Marauders.
"Well, since that is my surname I would hope so..." her grey eyes eyed them
suspiciously. "What's it to you anyhow?"
Draco: Kina, you need to marry me. Right now.
Hermione: Shes not real.
Draco: Quiet you! She made fun of Ron in her first statement ever
"Damn! Do you know how to shut up, Fang?" snapped Harry.
Ron: Unusally prickish today, arent you Harry?
Harry: He just asked a hood question. Whats my problem with it?
"What Ron means is. Remus Lupin, is he your father?" asked Razzy, giving them
all a look.
Hermione: Why shouldnt she just be looking at Kira?
"Yes, he is. Why do want to know?" Kina said somewhat suspiciously.
Harry: Jesus. Youd think *she* had a Dark Lord out for her blood. So suspicous
"Because he was mine & Harry's father's friend as well as our DADA professor
last year!" Dazzle hissed, snappishly as she glared
Draco: As opposed to snapping kindly and gently?
Hermione: Oh god... Defense. Against. The. Dark. Arts. Isnt that hard to write out. Especially in a qoutation
.
"Blade, don't be a bitch about it!" Ron said as he elbowed her in the ribs.
Harry: These nicknames suck compared to Moony, or Padfoot.
"Should we really be using the Marauder Code in front of ... her?" asked
Razzy, motioning towards Kina.
Ron: Marauder code? Uppity clan, arent we? Theyre called nicknames.
"It's all right, really. My dad told me all about the old marauders... And
supposing that you all are illegal Animagi as well?" Kina replied slyly.
Hermione: Hey! This MS has pyschic powers as well!
Harry: Why should we be illegal? The only reason dad didnt report his changes was to hang out with Lupin
"Are we that obvious?" they asked.
"Yes,..." Kina smiled annoyingly.
Draco: Actually, they hadnt done anything to give themself away in the first place.
"Do you have to do that?!" exclaimed Dazzle as she took a drink of her
pumpkin juice.
Harry: Be nice of you to mention what ‘that’ is... my twin sister is an idiot
"What sort of animal are you guys?" Kina asked. "I'm a panther... Silence."
Draco: Im a middle finger, fuck off
Hermione: Draco!
Draco: Well shes *stupid* You dont nickname yourself. And Silence is a stupid one.
"I'm a lynx, Blade. Harry's an eagle-hawk, Talon. Razzy's a ferret, Bandit.
And Ron ... is a wolf, Fang."
Hermione: Does anyone think its interesting we learned to do this over the summer?
"Creativity is a common quality here isn't it?"
Draco: Yes, but theres nothing you could have gathered that from. So you *are* psychic
Razzy, who had been watching the Slytherin table intently said "Yes it is...
Hermione: Actually, Razzy has been watching the conversation
That Malfoy ... he's been staring our way for a while now..."
Draco: Im trying to figure how hard to throw my steak knife to catch both MS1 and MS2 in the throat
Dazzle coughed "What the Hell?!" sending her pumpkin juice back into the
goblet.
Harry: Uhm... yes.
Hermione: That made a lot of sense.
Everyone looked at her, a bit surprised at her reaction.
Draco: A *bit*?? She involintarily spasmed into her drink!
Soon after the Feast was over and the marauders ran upstairs to their
dorms to discuss their new member's being inducted into the marauders...
Harry: The Marauders were a tight group of friends, not some stupud club
But
Dazzle glanced around furtively & made a lame excuse of having to go use the
toilet.
Hermione: Basic bodily functions- a lame excuse.
Kina glanced at the others, noticing their confusion she raised her
eyebrows.
Draco: So... shes confused. That theyre confused.
They shrugged cluelessly
Draco: Thats one thing they are. Especially you, Potter
Harry: I wish Tiger had given us back our wands when he took the ropes off...
& continued up the steps, only Kina
perceptive to Dazzle obvious problem... After all she was walking past the
bathrooms...
Harry: WHAT OBVIOUS PROBLEMS!?!?
Hermione: Calm down Harry, its over...
Harry: FINE! Oops. Erm. Fine. Sorry. Final thoughs?
Draco: Mind booglingly stupid.Weak, self serving MSs, *massive* plot holes, and an over active fixation
on eyes
Hermione: Decent spelling and grammar, but zero respect for continuiity or common sense.
Ron: And it had me getting gored across the face.
Hermione: Yes. And that.