with my eyes bulging laughing like a maniac. Unfortunately, I am not J.K. Rowling but I wonder if she does
that during her spare time…
Draco: First of all, if you owned Harry Potter, youd trade him for something worth while. Hes not much to
look at.
Harry: Hey!
Draco: Second, if you owned the book series, we wouldnt be here, because with your writing, er, talents, no
one would have ever bought a book
Hermione: True...
Draco: And finally- of course she does. Thats what all us rich people do *rolls eyes*
“What are you doing here, Severus?” Minerva asked the man cooly standing before her.
Draco: *Makes yowling cat noise*
Hermione: Draco!
“I-I wanted to see Dumbledore.”
Harry: You know... in all my time, I dont think Ive ever seen Snape stutter
“I don’t see why anybody would want a Death Eater visiting them. Leave before I hurt you.” Minerva
McGonagall said, taking out her wand.
Draco: Thats right.... you specialize is changing things. He specializes in killing people. Great threat
Hermione: You think shed simply summon the Aurors.
Harry: *Blinks* I didnt think it was common knowledge that Snape was a death eater...
A voice of Albus Dumbledore was heard from inside his study. “It’s all right Minerva. He can come in.”
Hermione: That’s ‘may’
Minerva looked at Severus in an untrusting manner, but backed away from the door.
Draco: As if he wouldnt just go through her
Severus Snape walked into the room.
Harry: Wow. Snape gets the bad fiction ability of walking through doors and walls as well
“What is it that you are doing here, Severus?”
Hermione: *Groans* This is not Dumbledore trust, idiot. This is Dumbledore taking uncooth risks. Unless
he *knew* what Snape was doing there, hed have him disabled on the ground already
“I-I do not want to be with Voldemort anymore. I was wrong, and I want to change.”
Harry: I rather like seeing Snape snivel and whine
Draco: Like looking into a mirror, isnt it Potter?
Dumbledore looked at him.
Ron: ...and the crowd goes wild
“I-I think that I can be of use to you-I can be a spy on Voldemort and look out for you.”
Hermione: Dumbledore doesnt need looking out for
Draco: And I rather think Snape simply started returning with information, not came back whining and
whimpering like this. Its so... undignified
“Surely you can’t trust him, Dumbledore.” Minerva called out from outside. “He’s crazy. He can surely try
to kill-“
Hermione: This is where we comment that she should probably just come inside to join the discussion... Im
sure she would be welcome
“That’s enough, Minerva. I believe I have the right to trust Severus.
Draco: Ooo. Bad move right there. *I* dont even trust him
Harry: You think hed mention what it was
However, I shall keep an eye on you while your here, Severus.”
Hermione: <Icily> Oh yay. Watch the Death Eater in a school full of children.
Harry: If he goes on a rampage hell only kill eight or nine before you hear about it, three more until you get
there...
Dumbledore turned his attention back to Snape. “You can be in the guest rooms for the next few days. They
are on the second floor between the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor towers.”
Draco: ....huh?
Harry: *Shrugs* I always thought the towers were polar opposites, all different sides of Hogwarts
“Yes Headmaster.”
Hermione: For an incident that might have changes the course of history, that was pretty over simplified.
Harry: And stupid?
Hermione: And stupid.
****************
5 months later, Professor McGonagall’s voice could be heard so loud it was quite plain near the Quidditch
fields.
Hermione: Only five months? What kind of spying could Snape do at that time?
“YOU WHAT? ARE YOU INSANE????!!!!”
Harry: You go girl. Get yourself fired
“Relax, you are taking it too seriously.”
Hermione: As if Dumbledore ever talked like that...
“OH REALLY! YOU WANT TO HIRE SEVERUS SNAPE AS A TEACHER HERE?
Harry: I think Snape changed sides a good deal before I was born, and became a teacher after I was born...
WHO IS CRAZY!!!!
Draco: You, because your acting like he called you crazy
Hermione: Once again, *no one* would ever talk to Dumbledore like this
SPROUT AND FLITWICK ARE STANDING OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW.
Harry: ....interesting little unexplained plot hole
WHY DON’T YOU TELL THE OTHER HEADS OF THE HOUSES THAT YOU ARE HIRING THE
MAN WHO NEVER HEARD OF BATHING!”
Draco: That isnt funny. And its immature as hell
Hermione: I hate to agree with Draco, but I do. She would be so fired by now
“MINERVA! SEVERUS HAS PROVEN HIMSELF NO LONGER A DEATH EATER!”
Harry: I hope theres more qualifications than ‘not a death eater’ to become a teacher these days
Dumbledore’s voice was now as loud as Minerva’s.
Hermione: This entire thing is *so* out of character. Dumbledore doesnt scream
“A DEATH EATER IS A DEATH EATER! YOU SAW THAT MARK ON HIS ARM!”
Harry: This is sounding a sad like raving KKK rants
“Look, I trust him, and you will too.
Hermione: What is he going to do, cast a spell on him?
Plus, he has the skills in Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts
Draco: *Grins* And just plain Dark Arts
, but I am only giving him the job as Potions.
Hermione: Because... you know... thats where the opening is
The old Potions master has retired, and we need a new one. Now be kind enough to leave me to peace.”
Dumbledore said quietly, and McGonagall left the room sulking, greeted by Sprout and Flitwick.
Draco: So... what? Dumbledore summoned all three of them but made those two wait outside?
Harry: I guess so...
“So how did it go? I could hear you outside, but I couldn’t hear Dumbledore.” Sprout said, thoughtfully.
Hermione: Thats ‘asked’. And probably not thoughtfully
“Awful, he really wants to hire Snape.”
Harry: Shes acting like they werent sure if he wanted to hire him or not, when Sprout and Flitwick had no
idea who was even up for discussion
“Snape? He must be mad!” Tiny Flitwick cried out raged.
Hermione: <Dumbledore> Firing so many people today...
“He is the most unfair person you would ever meet.”
Draco: Unfair!? Our teachers are all whiney brats
Harry: How do they know him, anyway?
“Definitely not Hufflepuff material.” Sprout added.
“That’s why he was put in Slytherin.” Flitwick agreed.
Hermione: Er... in a term I dont use, well, ever, *duh*!
*************
5 weeks later…
“I’m telling you, I have never met the most cruel teacher in my life!
Hermione: That made so much sense.
Harry: No it didnt.
Hermione: I know, Harry. Sarcasm
He just took 100 points away from Gryffindor today!” Minerva said furiously.
Harry: I really dont think Snapes ever taken that many points in one day unless something major happened.
Hes not dumb enough to draw that kind of attention to himself
Ron: Then maybe he should shower...
Draco: Now you sound like the story, Weasley
“Maybe the students did something terrible.” Dumbledore defended.
Ron: I really dont like how theyre making Dumbledore like an ignorant jackass here
“Oh yeah? Sonoperous!”
Snape’s voice was projected into the room. “Mr. Weasley, you are 5 minutes late. Detention and 10 points
from Gryffindor!”
Hermione: Thats actually pretty standard, especially if its a pattern
“But sir,” Bill Weasley protested, “Peeves hit me on the back of the head with a bludger he stole from
Madame Hooch
Ron: Wouldnt that get Peeves kicked out permanently?
Hermione: In a smart persons world...
and I had to go to the Hospital Wing, Madame Pomfrey can prove that-“
Harry: Usually he would be escorted back to class by someone, with a note
“Silence! 20 more points from Gryffindor, now get into your seat or it will be 50!”
Hermione: Snapes not that stupid. Hes that cruel, but not that stupid
“See?” Minerva said angrily. “He is completely unjust. Bill Weasley is a very good student. In every other
class he has an A.”
Draco: When did grades get involved in this?
“Minerva,” Dumbledore muttered almost exasperated,
Harry: I think hes been exasperated for some time
“I’ve never seen a person more determined to throw another out, well, except for Filch with Peeves, but this
is proposterous-“
Ron: Once again, Dumbledore is acting like an idiot
Snape’s voice was still coming from his room, “Excellent work, Mr. Mancrin, 20 points to Slytherin.”
Hermione: Even Snape does not give 20 points in place of a ‘good job’
“I got the potion too, professor.” A girl’s voice said excitedly.
“Quiet Miss Radde, 10 points from Ravenclaw.”
Hermione: Repeat previous statement about curelity and stupidty
Draco: These Snape bashing fics are almost as bad as the worshipping ones
Dumbledore sighed and removed the sound spell. “I know what you have in mind Minerva, and I shall talk
to Severus, but being a slight bit unfair does not mean I will sack him.”\
Harry: Dumbledore sacking ‘sack’ without mockery. Riiight.
***********
“A slight bit?”
“That’s what he said.” Minerva pressed her lips together angrily.
“A slight bit,” Sprout repeated, “He took 40 points from Hufflepuff.”
Hermione: Stupidty. Cruelty. Repeat.
“He took 60 points from Ravenclaw,” Flitwick chirped.
Hermione: Once again...
“100 from Gryffindor,” Minerva muttered, “And today he gave 75 points to Slytherin.”
Hermione: Once *again*! Hasnt this person ever looked at the end of the year totals?
“That is harsh,” Hooch said, sitting next to them.
Draco: Madame Hooch has a penchant for underestimation
Ron: And for talking like a teenager
The Great Hall started being filled. Sinistra took a seat between Sprout and Minerva, Dumbledore in the
middle, and Snape sat between Sinistra and Minerva.
Hermione: Theres one line left of actual story. How important could the seating arrangement be?
“Heard you say you tried to get me sacked, Professor,” Snape said with a sneer on his face.
Harry: ...yeah. We all believe Dumbledore tattled on her
Ohhh, how hard it must be to cope with a man like Snape. I will continue this if I get enough reviews.
Harry: I *hate* when people do that
Hermione: But since this got almost no reviews, were saved.
Harry: Final thoughts?
Dracp: Eh... just basic stupidity, time frames, fact confusion, and the lot.
Hermione: And every single person in the story was hopelessly out of character.