Draco: I think we all see where this is going. I might as well get this out all ready... *roots through a duffle
bag for his tap recorder*
Hermione: Oh put that away...
She had straightened her hair and had grown lots of curves over the summer
Draco: Aha! *Plays porno music*
Hermione: *Siiighs*
Suddenly Harry, Ron and Draco appeared on the platform.
Harry: So were apparating now? Cool
They all looked at Hermione and thought
Draco: Can I please be excused from this? I see where its headed
Tiger: No.
Draco: Fucker.
“Wow! Hermione is so pretty! She’s really hot! I think I’m in love with her!”
Draco:Im supposed to be thinking the same as Potter and Weasley? Good lord.
Ron, Harry, Draco and Hermione got on the train.
Hermione: Now this is some epic, edge of your seat stuff right here
Draco said to Hermione
“Hermione, you are very pretty. I think I’m in love with you.”
Draco: ...theres a phrase you wouldnt even hear from me in the twighlight zone, people
Hermione: *Mutters* At least not without catching a levitating club to the crotch
Hermione blushed.
Hermione: Actually, the red coloration in my cheeks is liquid hatred
Ron stood up and said
“You don’t love her Malfoy! I love her!” Harry stood up too
Harry: Oh god...
Hermione: I think I prefer the fics that have me getting knocked up by Voldemort...
“I love her most.” Hermione got very angry
Draco: Hah. She actually gets pissed when Weasel says it
“Stop fighting! It’s bad!”
Draco: I seem to remember you slugging me, Granger
Hermione: This fic is so... *ugh*... Im not so carbon copy nice girl choir girl priss as all that!
“Yes Hermione!” They all cooed sweetly
Tiger: Yeah. I think Im going to go somewhere and be nauseous
Hermione: Hey!
Tiger: No offense, but when bullshit to this degree surfaces...
When they arrived at Hogwarts Hermione sat next to Ron and Harry at the Gryffindor table. Hermione was
a prefect. She wasn’t going to do anything wrong this year.
Tiger: Thats another case of writing that could... well, should, last roughly a page and a half summed up in a
few sentences
Draco: Well, granted the way this person writes, less is more.
Harry: Hes got a point...
In class the next day Hermione sat with Ron. Ron smiled at her
Draco: This is like a really, *really* bad silent film
“Hello Hermione!”
“Hello Ron.”
Draco: I mean come on! Tell me you cant see those words written in white lacy letters on a black screen!
Tiger: Wizards have movies?
Draco: Yeah... we just had them a few thousand years before muggles
“How are you?”
“Fine.”
Hermione: And the dialogue is simply sizzling in its intensity
Ron loved Hermione very much and said
Draco: Even I know that ‘loving someone very much’ should not be crammed into the same sentence before
the character starts talking
“Will you meet me by the lake after dinner?”
Hermione: Yeah right. Homework.
This confused Hermione.
Harry: *Nothing* confuses Hermione...
“All right.”
Draco: Jesus girl, you talk like you only have a few words left before you explode
That night Hermione went down to the lake wearing tight jeans and a very tight top. The top was blue and
her jeans had silver glitter that sparkled
Harry: Ah yes, the over description of clothing. Very.. stupud
Hermione: And its ignoring the fact we wear robes
Ron was waiting for her at the lake.
Tiger: No, he stood her up after all of this
“You look lovely Hermione!”
Draco: Whats sad is he would probably actually say that
“Thankyou Ron.”
Hermione: Popping back to a subject that we should have a bit ago, saying things like ‘he said’ or ‘he yelled’
can be very effective to writing a story that...
Draco: Doesnt suck?
Hermione: Yep
“Hermione. I-I…. I think I’m in love with you!” Ron said. Hermione smiled
Harry: Didnt he already say that?
Tiger: Yeah, I think so...
“I love you too Ron.”
Hermione: Thats a big change considering I got pissed last time I heard that
The next day at breakfast Harry and Draco saw Ron and Hermione together.
Harry: Those two are always together, dating or not
Draco: And you’re usually crammed in the middle
They were both very sad but then they met two girls who became their girlfriends.
Draco: Oh *christ*...
So everyone lived happily ever after.
The end
Harry: ....final thoughts?
Tiger: A basic form POS fic. Bad writing, bad themes, happy ending-
Draco: A non-scensical plot, and characters acting out of style.
Hermione: You two complement each other too well. We need Ron back