Draco: *Blares Draco-Brand Porn Music*
Hermione: Oh god, were starting this already?
>>>She stood there staring up at the huge gates that loomed up in front of her
Harry: We realized they were above her when she looked up at them...
>>>. She griped her bag tighter and wrapped her pure white cloke
Hermione: Oh god... thats gripped. And cloak.
Harry: And why does it matter if the cloak has a little bit of gray-ish hue?
Ron: Uppity bitch cloak.
>>> tighter around her and
removed her light blonde hair from her face,
Draco: Removed? Like shaving? Ew.
Hermione: We have confirmation. Mary Sue. Please god see me through this.
>>>as she took a deep breath and marched upto the huge doors
Draco: She can walk through walls? Thats damn handy.
Hermione: You cant just walk through Hogwarts gates! Theyre guarded!
>>>and pushed them open.
Hermione: Apparently her intangibility applies to gates only.
Draco: Maybe shes just really, really thin and squeezed through the bars.
>>>Upon entering she was welcomed by Dumbledor
Harry: Yes. Because, even though all the first years a met by a simple teacher, this one
girl merits the
Headmaster.
Hermione: Behold, the great and powerful Mary Sue. And thats ‘Dumbledore’.
>>>"AHh i trust you had a safe jouney?"
Hermione: Is it so hard to edit that H to lower case? Or to capitalize an I?
>>> Dumbledor
Hermione: Missing that ‘e’ again...
Draco: *Leans back in his chair* Cool. Looks like your doing all the work.
>>>asked softly. She only nodded in reply and stared up at him with her ice blue eyes
peircing his soul.
Hermione: Oh lord...
Draco: *Raises an eyebrow* Soul piercing eyes? Thats a little advanced for a student.
Harry: And ice is more white than anything else, with snow. Without snow, its clear.
Ron: Maybe Dumbledore can see into the back of her head...
>>>He gasped in reply and muttered under his breath,
Draco: <Dumbledore> My GOD girl, thats one ugly brain stem... huh? Oh, nothing. Just
busy staring through your clear eyes.
>>>"just like your mothers"
Harry: Thats plural? Hm.
Draco: *Plays porno music contently* This tape was worth every knut.
>>>as he said this he shook his head in disbelief.
Hermione: A better way to do that is to say: “Dubledores talk,” he said while shaking his
head.
>>>"the rest of the school is attending dinner shall we join them and get you sorted?"
Hermione: Commas. Capitilization. Something that shows a brain! Please!
>>> he said it as more of a
command rather than an option.
Draco: Doesnt old Dumbledore usually say what he means?
Harry: And why is he commanding her to eat dinner?
>>>She followed him into the great hall suddenly aware that her attire was compleatly
different from those around her, realising this she pulled
her white cloke tighter around her.
Draco: I look like a tourist, so let me emphasize that fact by pulling my tourist clothes
tighter around myself.
>>>"who is she?" exclaimed Ron in a low whisper
Ron: Because, you know, Im conviniently staring at the door like a vapid zombie.
Draco: And your whispering because the 400 other people in the room arent making
enough noise simply breathing to muffle out normal speech.
Harry: As a point of interest, whats a high whisper?
>>>. Harry shook his head still following her with his eyes.
Hermione: So her name is no? And when did he start following her with his eyes?
>>> She reached the head table and as calmly as she could sat on the sorting
stool.
Hermione: Why are they making a spectacle of this poor, stupid, boring Mary Sue?
Shouldnt they do this in private?
>>>The hat was placed upon her head and slipped over her eyes, at this she let out a
small giggle and smiled to herself.
Hermione <MarySue> Hehe! Im blind! Horray! <Normal> Ditzy airhead...
Ron: Apparently shes a small psuedo-character
>>>"well well well what do we have here? hummm...lets see, difficult very difficult
indeed but wait what was that, slytherin yes i think so."
Hermione: Oh my god, shes not in Gryffindor? Thats amazingly refreshing
Draco: Slytherins still a pretty popular choice. Just once Id like to see someone with
enough guts to put themself in, *snickers*, Hufflepuff.
>>>
>>>"Please no, anything but" these small words she uttered under her breath.
Harry: Oh. So shes basically copying exactly what I did. Got ya.
Draco: How does she even know about Slytherin? Stupid bints rejecting something for no
good reason!
Hermione: Why does the sorting hat babble like a first grader?
>>>"What?...not slytherin but u could do so well....hummm then...."
Draco: *Mutters* Just put her in Gryffindor and be done. I dont see why everyond
worships your house Potter, you always get the stupid blank characters.
>>>Everyone stared in disbelief the sorting was taking longer than any sorting before had
another 10 mins passed.
Hermione: Thats about four sentences in one.
Draco: 10 minutes? She only has three options left. Shes not smart enough for
Ravenclaw, and shes not a big fat git. Put her with the rest of the dumb skinny people-
Gyffindor!
Harry: ...I truly do detest you
>>>"what on earth is going on?" inquired Harry, nobody answered him.
Hermione: Hes the first person to ask that question in ten minutes?
>>>"GRIFFINDOR" bellowed the sorting hat.
Hermione: ...typical
Draco: Thanks, hat, for telling us whatever suddenly made you change your descision.
>>>A huge uproar exploded form the Griffindor table as the girl walked towards them
with a smile on her face, eyes gleaming with happiness.
Ron: This actually seems like a situation that calls for confused silence, not cheering.
Draco: You’re all so happy you got the stem cell bitch...
>>>She sat down next to Hermione.
>>>"Hi! i'm Hermione this is Ron and Harry."
Harry: Thanks for getting us involved...
Ron: Really!
>>>"Hey nice to meet you guys, I'm Ice.
Draco: And people laugh at MY name.
Harry: What a stupid conveient plot hole that her eyes match her name
>>> God this place is huge, mum never said it was this big!!" she excliamed
Draco: <Hermione> Stop screaming. Jesus. I dont like you. Go away, Mary Sue.
>>>"Ummm...er umm why are you joining Hogwarts now and i assume that your
entering the 6th year right? and if u dont mind why did the sorting take so long?" asked
Ron.
Draco: Talkative bloke, arent you?
Ron: Its not my fault Im being used to cover what should be a page or two of back story
in one sentence.
>>> SMACK "OOOFFF,
Draco: Smack off? Dont make me get the porn music.
Hermione: Ew... I think I hit him
Ron: Why?
Hermione: I always seem to hit people lately...
>>>Hermione what was that for?" Ron said rubbing his arm where she had hit him.
Hermione: See?
Draco: First, you dont hit someone in the arm, you aim for the nose. Second, hitting
someone in the nose doesnt make a smacking sound.
>>>"You know perfectly well why, dont be so rude.
Ron: Why you hit me or why it took so long for the hat? Either way, no, I really dont.
>>> sorry bout that Ice, but he kinda has a point you Know it is kinda strange really."
Draco: <Hermione> Like, totally!
Hermione: ...*mumbles*
>>>Hermione said holding on to Rons hand.
Harry: So you hit him and are now holding his hand?
>>>"Well I'd rather not talk about it right now. Is there somewhere i can get some rest or
somthing." Ice replied
Draco: <Ron> You wanna be standoffish? Fine. Fuck off.
>>>Harry shot up from his seat "Oh my god! You must think were compleate idiots.
Draco: <Ice> Up until you said that, no.
>>>Come on we'll show you your room and our common room, follow me." with that he
held out his hand
for Ice who took it and stood up from her seat.
Harry: Im am so sick of being paired with Mary Sues...
>>>Ron and Hermione followed arms linked round each other.
Hermione: Cute little cheap ass way of putting us together. This entire fic is over
simplified.
>>>"This palce is soooo confusing, how do you know which way to turn or go or ummm
why are we facing a painting of a random lady?" asked Ice.
Harry: Got what a bimbo...
Draco: Did she say its a palice or a place?
Hermione: Either one applies, I guess. You think shed take a breath to wait before asking
about the fat lady
Ron: Who I dont think shed call a ‘random’ lady.
>>> Harry, Ron and Hermione
laughed. Ice stood confused as ever and annoyed at the fact that she had no idea what
they were laughing about
Draco: Tempermental, easily baffled bint, isnt she?
>>>"Chocolate frogs" said Hermione stifeling her laughter as she saw the look on Ice's
face as the portraite swung open.
Harry: I thought only Dumbledores office used candy as passwords?
Draco: Maybe you fell through a plot hole into his hall.
>>> Ice just stood there as it opened and stared dumbfounded
Harry: Even though shes a wizard, a moving picture freaks her out?
a>>>nd was dragged through the hole in the wall into a room filled with comfy red and
gold chairs a large fire place with a fire burning, sofas the list was endless.
Draco: <Ice> Oh my god! You freaks lit your couch on fire!
>>>"This is our common room." Procliamed Harry. "And Hermione will show you to
your room." as he said this he indicated to a staircase opposite him
Harry: Our staircase is opposite the common room?
.>>> With this Hermione grabbed
Ice's hand and draged her across the common room and up the stairs.
Draco: You people seem to drag her a lot. Its rude.
>>> When they arrived all Ice could do was stare, there in front of her were 4,
four-poster beds in red and
gold each with their own trunks and night stands.
Harry: <Ice> *Puts hands to mouth* Oh god! Beds! And trunks! With nightstands! Dear
jesus!
Draco: ... *snickers*
>>>"This is your bed, and mine is right next to yours, if you ever need anything just ask
k?" Hermione looked at Ice and saw somthing rather familliar about her features,
she kept it to herself and just smiled and her.
Hermione: Should that be ‘at’?
Draco: Why wouldnt she mention if she saw something familiar?
Harry: And why are you speaking like a valley girl, Hermione?
>>>"Thanks so much, you dont know how much this means to me." and Ice turned to
Hermione and gave her a hug.
Draco: *Porn Music*
Hermione: Draco!
Draco: Hehe...
Harry: Why is ice so touchy feely for being show a room or two?
>>>Then quickly ran over to investigate the new bed she had.
Ron: <Ice> ...yep. Theres, uh, the sheets. And the matress. And the pillows. All here.
Yay.
>>>Hermone
watched and smiled as Ice looked at everything and started to take out a few bits and
bobs to put on her nightstand.
Draco: What the hells a bob?
Ron: Maybe she took off her bra and put it on the nightstand?
Hermione: Ron!
Draco: *Grins* I like it, Weasley.