A Hopeless Love. Chap.1-Fallen for you. Draco: Oh this is looking *real* good, right from the start. Not only are we not given a segway, which reveals that Tigers becoming a sloppy bitch again, but were given a fic with as many bad possibilities as is humanly possible and a crappy title. Hermione: Arent we the happy little ray of sunshine today? "Alantia Gothis..." Hermione: OK, Draco, Im now dead in line with your way of thinking... ew.... Ron: I think we may have very well been exposed to the worst name of all time. Harry: Alantia, first of all, which- god only knows- could be a horribly misspelled reference to Atlantis. Draco: And Gothis, whereas I have nothing *specific* against Gothic kids, I do want to slap the ones that broadcast it to the world with one hell of a big ass mackerel Tom Riddle whispered, looking over the tall, auburn brown haired, blackish blue eyed girl that stood smirking before him, -Beautiful...she is just beautiful- he thought, trying his best not to smile, but failing horriblely. " Harry: That was only *one* sentence!? My god... it felt like a soul draining eternity of suck. Draco: Ditto. Its almost hard to comment... except, yeah, a girl with blackish-blue eyes is a girl who got smacked around by some pussy boyfriend. Hermione: Horribly is spelled wrong... Ron: I thought we got you off your grammar nitpicking! Thomas Marvolo Riddle...."She replied, getting a cold stare. Draco: That romance dissapeared faster than my hand into an unwatched purse... Harry: Har, Har. Neither of those names is even close to being romantic enough to use as some sort of sexual stimulant. Draco: Havent you people ever heard of massage oil? My *god*... "Tom...my name is Tom, NOT Thomas,"Tom muttered, Alantia giggling at him Hermione: You know what would have made that seem like a slightly humanoid exchange? The word ‘with’. Harrys: *No ones* real name is Tom... no guys real name is Billy... so girls real name is Alex or Sam. Live with it people. Draco: I think you both need to stop hanging out with our fans. Your getting as geeky as them. "I swear it is Alantia...and by the way, Why for the last seven years have you spent your life ruinning mine!? Hermione: Woah. Thats pretty sudden. Harry: Especially considering they were just attempting to mack each other... Draco: Its like they had a condom break or something, but all they were doing was standing there... AND for god sakes it is graduation...can you be nice to me for once? Hermione: Oh. So he just worships her, thinks shes gorgeous, and holds her, but shes a total bitch to him. Ron: I think more fics are written about graduation day than anything else on the planet. Draco: Ironically, most of them written by people so unintelligent they could never hope to get a high school diploma. I mean after all we'll never see each other again after today!" Harry: Good lord. Wizards. Wiiiizards. Long distance isnt really an *issue* at that point of the evolutionary ladder, now is it? "I wouldn't be so sure, Riddle....I'll see you very soon..."Alantia whispered in his ear, giving him a quick hug as she had done every day since they met seven years ago. Hermione: That is a *lot* of hugs. Draco: And im sure theyve never done anything more than that... this guy just lets him press herself all over his frontal area with no real caring. Mmmm-hmmm.... "Well..see ya..." With that Alantia quickly walked away, not even taking one glance back at the studdering handsome black haired, brillient green eyed boy she left behind. Hermione: Studdering? Now *theres* a word you wont find in any dictionary Draco: And if they mean stuttering- he isnt talking- so what in the *fuck* is he stuttering on? -Damn...what the fuck was that about...she has never hugged me like that before...- Tom thought to himself, shaking his head and walking toward the entrance hall so he could head off to the field the graduation was being held in. Draco: *Cuts off a qoute from earlier in the fic and pastes it* <Alantia whispered in his ear, giving him a quick hug as she had done every day since they met seven years ago.> Harry: But noooo. Never before. Not ever. Not once. Seriously. For real. Promise. Totally. Upon reaching the field Tom gave a disgruntled sigh, his least favorite person had seen him and was on her way over to him. Hermione: I thought he just *left* his least favorite person. Draco: And believe me. Your least favorite person in the world usually knows about and almost always avoids you. If they dont, a swift knee to the mid-upper testicular region would do it. "Tommy!"Jolie Rosers, a tall tooth pick thin, pointy nosed, emu looking, brownish haired, honey blue eyed girl shouted, hugging Tom tightly. Hermione: Well thats obviously someone the author dislikes from real life... Harry: Im sorry, but Ive *never* seen a tall, thin, pointy nosed emu with honey bleu eyes. "Jolie...for the last time...I. Hate. You. AND MY NAME IS TOM NOT TOMMY!!!"Tom yelled pushing Jolie to the ground and walking away from her furiously, not even waiting to hear what the poor shrimpy girl had to say that was so important. Hermione: Good lord. I guess we know who gave Girl #1 the blackish-blue eyes. Wife beater. Ron: *Pokes at his shirt* What about it? Draco: Could you try to keep your mind on a single thought for more than ten seconds you idiot? "TOMMY!!!"She called after him, sniffling and pouting. Harry: I really, truly hate characters that are so grossly over exxagerated in their personalities they act like cartoons... or Draco. Draco: Hey! After a moment of laughing at Jolie's calls of pathetic love for him, Tom sat in his seat and waited for the graduation to begin...Alantia walked past his row, he couldn't help but watch her, her hips swaying gently as she walked, and her hair blowing lightly in the soft breeze, after a few minutes, when Tom had thought she wouldn't look at him, she turned toward him and blew him a kiss...then going back toward her seat and sitting down with a faint smile in Tom's direction. Harry: Good LORD these sentences drag on. Ive read novels that I got through quicker than that incomprehensible piece of crap. Hermione: Right... down the list... Jolie wasnt calling to him in love, if Tom started at Atlantia -who is obviously becoming a Mary Sue- for minutes on end he would be a stalker, a voyeur, and she would be awfully damn small in the distance.... Draco: ...k. Not to mention she just blew him a kiss and hed just ranted on her. -Damn! She is soooo gorgeous....I just wish she'd stop teasing me!- Harry: Valid point, Ill concur.... Tom thought to himself, his eyes on Dippet(The headmaster) Draco: *Porn Music* Hermione: *Sighs* Draco: Oh come on! His name is DIPPET! Dip. It. And hes the HEADmaster. You expect me to let that go? Hermione: No, just wish you would, in a mature persons sort of way... who was giving a speech, but his mind drifting to Alantia, -I just don't understand...why today did I develop this crush...why today did she decide to flirt with me? Draco: Wait a second... so after all of this seven years of bitching she just ran up and curled into his arms? Good lord. She *is* a tease. More than Granger here with her eternally virginal school girl act. Hermione: What was that? Draco: Nothing. Nothing at all. AND why am I talking to myself!?! Gah!- Hermione: *Glares at Draco* Ahem. Its called an inner monologue. Some people should learn to use them. Tom stopped think to himself and jumped up Dippet had called his name, he half ran to Dippet, tripping over himself as he got to the podeum, most of the gryffindors laughing at him. Draco: Oh yeah... thats quality writing. I mean, it would be. If it was spread over roughly three paragraphs, made any kind of sense, Podium was spelled right and Gryffindors was capitilized. Hermione: Mhm. "ahem..here is Tom Marvolo Riddle, to give his speech as head boy..."Dippet said as he moved away from the podeum, giving Tom room to speak. Harry: God, people like to use his middle name a lot, I swear to god... Draco: For someone as lightning prone as you, I wouldnt be muttering the name God in vain so much Tom stayed quiet for a minute or so then finally he smiled, and began to speak... "Um, ok..let see, first I'd like to say that I'm going to miss you all," Hermione: Oh thats an excellent speech segway. Maybe he can make them little paper hats with hearts glued to them! -Yeah right...- Tom thought as he continued."And that Hogwarts was a home to me and I will miss it very much...Being here was great while it lasted," Draco: *This* twat was head boy? Weasley could write a better speech? Ron: Wha? Draco: Stop sniffing Spell-O-Glue. Seriously. -Is that really me talking...gah, it it...sounds sooo cheery..ew- "And I am thankful to have learned what I have...and to have been Head boy, and a prefect...and to have saved this school from horrible destructions...thank you...thank you very much..." Hermione: Well Im sure Dippet knows exactly why Tom was head boy after that miraculous speech Harry: *This* is the guy who convinced dozens of people to sacrifice all semblence of a moral code and join him just by the persuasion of his voice? Right now he couldnt talk a chicken into crossing the mother fucking road. Tom yawned and walked back to his seat the others laughing about his horrible destructions comment, though he didn't care, normally he would have, but right then he wasn't himself. Hermione: Hey, theyre getting better. That should have only been one paragraph. Harry: I think theyre laughing at how truly much his speech sucked. The graduation carried on and finally ended, and Tom muttered to himself angerily, he couldn't understand what was wrong he was nolonger bad boy Riddle when it came to girls...well...Alantia atleast. Draco: Bad boy Riddle? Someones trying to live out a fantasy through this fic... Hermione: Does he seem just a *tad* obsessive on this to any of you? A few moments of emotion has occupied him through one of the cornerstones of his life. He hurried off, and soon got to the train, he boarded with out seeing Alantia, thankfully, and headed to a empty compartment to be by himself. Hermione: Thats right kids, theres a car for each kid. This is the *worlds biggest train*. As Tom sat he smiled at the thought of being alone, closed his beautiful eyes, and fell asleep. Draco: Ok, heres a *real* tip for writing... dont oogle over characters in narrarations. In fact, leave all of your personal opinions out of narrations. Swearing too. Tiger: Hey! Draco: Oh shut up, you know its wrong. Tiger: *Mutters* After a few minutes of rest Tom jolted awake as he was kissed, kissed by Alantia. -Damn her! Hermione: He needs to just mack her or smack her, because this is getting annoying as hell. Damn her to hell! She is turnning me into a weekling!!!- Draco: Unless this is a *magical* kiss- and trust me, shes no Prince Charming and hes no Sleeping Beauty, then hes supposed to do something weak before he can become a weakling. Harry: Wait... its ‘weekling’. SHES TURNING HIM INTO A CALENDAR!! he thought as he kissed her back, running his hands over her body, then quickly breaking away. Hermione: Right. Because the time to jerk off in surprise is *after* youve groped them like a 13 year old. "Why are you in my lap kissing me, Gothis?"Tom said, his eyes nervously narrowing. Harry: You know, think about it. Can you imagine a single kind of nervousness that would make you narrow your eyes except for too-bright-sun nervousness? Draco: Forget that, wouldnt her *being in his lap* wake him up before the kiss? "Because I like you Riddle."She replied, smiling at him and leaving him at a lost for words. Draco: Some girls need to get off this ‘I kissed you because I can’ crap. A guy kisses a girl while shes sleeping, his ass goes to jail for ten years. Hermione: Not that anyone cares, but its ‘loss’ -She likes me!?! She really likes me! Hermione: I want to find whoever orinally said that qoute, and throttle them. Throttle them good. Score one for riddle and none for that bitch Julian Malfoy! Harry: Yeah, that makes total sense, except for the fact that Tom is the same age as Hagrid- which isnt *that* old- and Draco wouldnt have a grandfather at this point. Wahoo!- Tom thought, bringing Alantia into a soft gentle embrace, brushing his lips against hers and smiling. Draco: *Shakes head* She didnt make you a weakling, Tom, youve always been one. She made you a 6 year old. "I take it that you like me to then Riddle..." Draco: Since when has *not* shoving a girl whos as impossibly hot as only a Mary Sue can be away insinuate any sort of affection? "Stop. Stop talking...kiss me, and never call me Riddle again..." Harry: And we have entered the TV-Bad Fiction-Time Warp, where all romances start with heavy macking out or sex. Theres no way we could ever, uh, date first, right? Alantia didn't need to be told twice, she pulled out her wand and with a flick of her wrist the compartment door was locked, and she pulled Tom into a deep kiss. Harry: *Snorts* Alohomora unlocks the door just as easily as she locked it, so whats the point? -YES!- Thought Tom, -This is so perfect! Just perfect...I wonder how far she is going to go...- Draco: Oh my god, he is a male. Finally. Harry: Oh come on... male or not, we dont think that *consiously*... its just kind of a nagging thought in the back of our minds. Tom, of course, didn't have to wonder long for the answer... "Tom...please...I want you now...right here."Alantia whispered, breaking from the kiss, breathing slightly harder. Hermione: Woah. Whore. Draco, wheres your porn music? Draco: *Blinks* If you see anything remotely sexy or erotic about *any* of this, let me know, so I can play it... Tom blinked a few times and began to remove her robes, looking at her soft gentle body. Harry: Wait. I have a bad-fic-bad-plot-twist prediction. Shes under someones control and their making her shag him! He smiled, her sent was intoxicating, she smelt of juniper, and roses, and her hair, strawberries. Hermione: I really dont think its possible to smell strongly of more than one thing at all. Draco: And why is it worth noting that she smells like her hair? My hair smells like my hair to. Stop the fuckin gresses! Tom kissed her neck, gently nipping at it as he slid her dress off of her slender delicate milky skinned body. Hermione: Heres a Mary Sue tip off we may not have mentioned... waaaay to many positive adjectives. Alantia smiled and began to remove his robes, carefully rubbing his chest as he now gave her a strong passionate kiss, though Alantia quickly broke away from the kiss. Harry: That was one of the most awkward sentences *ever* Hermione: Yeah. Its amazing how much better ‘which Alantia quickly broke away from’ could have made it. Draco: Oh well. The lost chances in this fic are enough to fill the Grand Canyon. "Is something wrong?"Tom whispered as he looked into her mysterious dark blue eyes, undoing her bra and tossing it aside as she unzipped his pants. Hermione: See? Even down to her mother fucking eyes shes perfect. Draco: Do I sense bitterness, Granger? Hermione: ...Im kind of bitter that so much stock is put on looks that the ‘perfect girl’ needs to be described as completely gorgeous. Draco: Sure. You know you want mysterious dark blue eyes. You have cow eyes. Hermione: I do not- Draco: MOO! Hermione: That is so- Draco: MOOOO!!! Hermione: I HATE YOU!!!! Draco: *Sniggers* "Thomas...promise me no matter what this wont be the last time I see my best friend..."Alantia whispered, unbuttoning his pants and sliding her hands up and down his strong muscular chest. Draco: Besides for the fact he hated her until she got him a little under the collar, that ‘best friend’ thing isnt bullshit at all... "Alan' You'll see me everyday Hermione: Alan does not seem to be something you want to call the girl your about to have sex with if that is your desire..."he whispered back, Draco: *Mutters* No one talks like that, especially not mid-macking. Thats how we talk to *cops* picking her up and standing her up the compartment floor. "It is."Alantia simply replied, Tom standing and kissing her, sliding off his pants, and boxers, as well as her panties.... Draco: Oh yeah. Badly described, jumping ahead, and completely unromantic sex gets me *so* hot. -Some Weeks Later- Hermione: Because telling us how many weeks would make this story too non-sucking... Alantia sat at her desk with Titan, her male snowy owl, a piece of parchment, a quill and a bit of ink. Harry: There are *hundreds* of breeds of owl. I am so tired of people ripping off my owl choice. She hadn't seen Tom since the day they had expressed their love for each other, but they'd owled each other multiple times a day, though they would have seen each other everyday as promised if it hadn't been for Lidia Lestat, Alantia's mother, whom had gone to school with Tom's mother and hated her, therefore not wanting Tom around Alantia, but boy was she going to be in for a surprise when Alantia told her why she had been so sick every morning for the last week. Draco: Thts *one* sentence... good lord. So much to mock in one sentence. Hermione: First of all, ‘owl’ is not a verb. Harry: Second, adult wizards know how to apparate. Ron: Owls dont fly enough for several letters in one day. Hermione: Unless these letters are sentences long they wouldnt have that much to discuss. Draco: That was a *pathetic* reference to Anne Rice books. Hermione: Alantia is 18 and thus her mom couldnt stop her from doing anything Harry: And pregnancy angles are pathetic. Extremely, extremely pathetic. Ron: That all? Draco: ....for now ~Hmm, what should I say to Tom...ooh I know..~ Hermione: <Alantia> Im a whore who didnt use any of the various magical pregnancy prevention techniques... Draco: <Alantia> And I have a stupid name. Dearest Tom, How is everything going in Itally? Hermione: *Sighs* Italy is a five letter word, it isnt that hard to spell. I hope well, for I have a bit of news for you. Harry: This is just *not* the kind of thing you say by letter... Hermione: Especially with the two dozen ways wizards can talk to each other Do you remember how I said I felt very sickly in the morning in the letter that Rue'sha, my barn owl brought you two days ago? Draco: ......Rue’sha? Hermione: That sucks. Harry: <Gasps> Its Ru Paul! Transvestite basketball player! Hermione: Why is it even necessary for them to mention the owls name or type? Well, Tom...I'm pregnant. Harry: Right. People dont put things like ‘...’ in real, adult letters. They dont. Thats what 13 year old girls do in notes or teenagers do in Instant Messages AND Yes Tom, the baby is yours. Draco: Why in gods name would she believe that? He probably thinks shes a total slut for just shagging him unprotected anyway, and theres no proof until the kind is born. I understand if that upsets you, but I'm sorry, its not helpable, Draco: Well... it *is* helpable. Harry: In a gross, evil kind of way, sure. Draco: Man, those pro-choice chicks would hate you. and I don't expect you to pay childs support or anything, Hermione: Thats right. Wizards deal with these situations the *exact* way Muggles do Harry: Even though everything necessary for living is summonable by wizadry. just that you are there for the baby's birth, Hermione: Im pretty sure thats his choice first trip to Hogwarts, Harry: Parents dont even *go* with kids on their trip to Hogwarts... and that you forget the whole dark arts shit. Draco: .....and that has *what* to do with the kid? Hermione: For that matter, if she didnt like the Dark Arts, why did she fuck him? Well Tom, mum and da' say I must get to dinner, Love You Always, Your Sweet Alantia. Harry: A graduated wizard still living with her parents. Sad, really... ~Hmm, thats perfect.~ Alantia thought with a smile as she finished writing. Draco: Actually, its pathetic. Common mistake in bad fiction. "Titan, I want you to deliver this to Tom, Tom Riddle? Ok? Good." Hermione: Thats right kids. Shes not only talking to the owl- shes acting like its talking back. She said, folding the letter and tieing it to Titan's leg with a silver ribbon. Titan hooted softly, rubbed his beak against Alantia's hand and then leaving off out the window. Draco: Too bad it was closed. Man, get a maid in here to clean this up. Blood and feathers *everywhere*... Hermione: Ew... Alantia sighed, a faint smile on her face, as she headed off to dinner, not even bothering to get dressed up as her mother and father expected. Harry: .....riiiiight. Hermione: Welcome to the 19... actually, I cant think of any time period in history where people were required to get dressed up for a dinner with family. Draco: I want to know why shes so happy when she let herself get knocked up. Alantia sat in silence as she listened her mother and father's pointless chatter, until finally her mother turned to her and asked: "What is the matter Lani, you haven't even eaten anything...Is it that Riddle boy again? I was reading your diary and see-" Draco: What a spy, huh? Shed be great under interrogation... ‘I read it! Im sorry!’ "WHAT!?! YOU READ MY DIARY!?! HOW DARE YOU!?"Alantia looked beyond pissed off. Hermione: Why an 18 year old is still writing about crushes in a diary, and not magically locking it, we will never know. "Watch your mouth young lady, I will not have you speak to me that way, ecspecially over some bum and a book." Draco: If ‘bum’ wasnt a word that hasnt been used in thirty years that would actually be a half clever play on words. Harry: Typical it comes from the lady whos being set up as a villain, right? Lidia, whom was a older looking green eyed version of her daughter, calmly said, glaring at Alantia, Jestiwin, Alantia's dark blue eyed, honey haired, father silent, in fear of his wife and daughter's tempers. Draco: .....*jestiwin*? What the fuck kind of name is that? It sounds like some sort of fishing reel. Harry: That it does. It it just me, or does this author put way too much importance on the subject of eyes? I mean, Rowling does it for a *reason*. "I will NOT watch my mouth and have a-a-a snobby bitch like you talk about the father of my child like that!"Alantia screamed, leaving her mother and father completely shocked as she stalked away to her room enraged. Hermione: Congradulations lady, you just made yourself look like an immature irreponsible whore. You must be so proud. Once reaching her room Alantia saw Titan on her desk with a letter tied to his leg with green ribbon. Draco: Oh good lord... Im not exactly sure how fast you think these damn owls fly, but it would take longer than that just to *write* the fucking letter. She rushed over and hurriedly untied the letter, plopping down into her chair, and giving Titan a treat before opening her letter from Tom. The letter said: Draco: <Letter> Oh bullshit ho, bitch please. Yuse always sleeping with mah homies and all tha niggahs round the hood and ya just ah ho. Bitch off please niggah ho yeah. Harry: <Backround> JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! Hermione: .....I warned Tiger not to get them cable TV. I BEGGED him... Alan'- Hermione: Thats right kids, he actually wrote it that way in a *letter* You must be kidding, I'm going to help you take care of our child, I will be in Paris to pick you up tomorrow at 9 o' Clock sharp tonight, and I'll bring you back to the villa I have in italy, then we can make arrangements for a wedding, well I have some business to take care of, please reply quickly so I know if its alright to come get you. Hermione: Hes missing the important step here Draco: Telling her to go fuck herself? Hermione: Uh... no. Asking her. Draco: Oh. Love, Tom. Alantia smiled and re-read the letter a few times, her cheeks were pink from her happiness, and she stood up and was about to go tell her mother and father she was leaving when she thumped into her mother, who snatched away the letter, and began to read it. Hermione: Apparently her mothers the only one in the family whos smart enough to Apparate around, considering theres no way she could have got that close unnoticed otherwise. "Give it back!"Alantia chirpped, snatching it back, a smirk forming on her mother's lips. Draco: <Alantia> WAAAAH! GIRLIE WANT LET-LET!!! "He is not taking you anywhere. You're staying put, here in Paris, where you belong."Lidia laughed,"And you won't be mailing this Tom...understand?" Hermione: Shes. Eight. Teen. Good *lord*. She can do whatever the hell she wants. "No. Could you translate it from bitch to english?"Alantia asked glaring at her mother. ~Gah, that was a crapy comback.~ Harry: Yes, yes it was. Sadly, its still the best retort weve heard so far in the story. "Hmph, well we'll see if you talk to that Tom again."Lidia hissed as she stomped out, snapping her fingers, and Titan flew after her, leaving Alantia to herself. Hermione: Thats right... shes Lidia, LORD OF THE OWLS!!! "Bitch."She muttered, soon as she was sure her mom was gone. Draco: Now theres the mark of a true soldier. Weight until your enemy is just out of ear shot and then bad mouth them. Alantia whistled and a beautiful barn owl appeared with a pop, she grinned and held out her arm, letting Rue'sha land. Hermione: Right. Apparently this entire family are owl tamers, and there owls actually have their own Apparation powers. Harry: And *really* good hearing, to hear that whistle. "Rue,"She whispered"Carry a letter to Tom Riddle for me...it must reach him for I may never be able to write him again..." Draco: The only thing that could save this story right now is if the owl just all out attacked her right now. Harry: *Snickers* That would be pretty entertaining Rue'sha hooted softly and flew to her desk, landing on a small perch that sat upon it. Alantia smiled lightly and walked to her desk sitting down in her chair. Hermione: Youve got to give her one thing, shes been amazingly optimisic through this Melrose Place chain of events. I havent seen more un-do smiling since Martha Stuarts last interview. Dearest Tom, My mum has forbid me to see or write to you, I'm using the owl that I got from Cloey on my birthday, Rue'sha, mum doesn't know about her. Harry: Yeah, because *thats* whats important to him right now. My dear Tom I will miss you deeply, I'm sorry that this must happen but I can't disobey my mother, I'd be to scared. Hermione: Yeah, because, right. Her moms gonna hex her down or something. Please never forget me or our child, I promise someday we will find you and you two will get to know each other. Please stay out of Azkaban, don't go completely 'Voldemort', and write letters for the baby. Draco: Wait wait wait... shes fucking him and she *knows* about his Voldemort side? Good LORD. Hermione: I really dont think anyone goes out with the intent to go to Azkaban. Even the really dumb criminals. Loving you forever, Your Sweet Alantia. Once Alantia was finished she let a few tears fall from her eyes and took a piece of beautiful silver ribbon and tied the letter with it. Rue'sha took flight at once heading for Tom. Draco: Whats with all this damn ribbon? Owls *can* carry letters. Thats how they drop them to people at mail time. Tom was changing into his finest dress robes back it his french villa, he had a wide smile on his face, in an hour he'd be off to pick up his beloved Alantia, he couldn't be more happy, but then..there was a light tapping at his balcony door. Hermione: And I thought we were almost free of these eternity long sentences... Draco: Just when you think your out of the suck, it drags you right back in -Damn.- Tom thought, -wait! thats Alantia's letter, yes...hmm..better go open the for that owl.- Harry: Oh really? You *think* so Shirlock Shit For Brains? Good lord... And with that Tom walked to the door and opened it, Rue'sha let him take the letter and quickly flew off, hooting loudly, as if laughing at what would soon be Tom's misfortune. Draco: ...I think I like that owl. Mwahahaha. Harry: Oh shut up.... Tom rolled his eyes and quickly unfolded the note, he read the first sentence and his jaw droped, he continued read and tears filled his eyes. Hermione: *Puts an imaginary finger-gun to her temple and pulls the trigger* Harry: Eh? Hermione: That was this fics last chance of having any sort of emotion, respect, or power getting its head blown off with that amazingly over simplified statement. Harry: Ah. He closed his eyes, dropping the letter and clenching his fist. Draco: Thats right, all in one move! For his next trip, he will tie a cherry stem with his tongue, turn his eyelids inside out, and rape a barn owl! Hermione: *Shudders* Ew... He knew he couldn't go and take Alantia, her mother would track them down, and possibly kill them both, and he'd never risk her life like that, there was only one thing he could do...wait...and while he was at it plan revenge on Lidia Lestat (Gothis). Draco: Her MOTHER... would KILL THEM... Hermione: Try saying it over and over again. Draco: Her mother would kill them... Her mother would kill them... Her mother would kill them... After along long while of standing there clenching his fist so tightly blood poured, Harry: Apparently Tom sports a pair of press on nails... Draco: Her mother would kill them... Her mother would kill them... Her mother would kill them... Tom finally whispered: "I've fallen for you Alantia....I've actually fallen." Hermione: Oh, well THAT amazing sentiment made that all worth while. I think we figured that out when you proposed. Draco: Her mother would kill them... Her mother would kill them... Her mother would- ACK *Grabs his head and collapses to the floor, immobile* Hermione: I was hoping that would work... Harry: No final thoughts from him, at least. Tiger: *Grabs attention away from the floor* Actually, the final thoughts are mine. Because its things like this that make me write MSTs. Fics that arent from beginners, or young people, but true idiots, who make up the most innane, idiotic plots on the planet. POWER TO THE MSTERS!!!! ...And thanks to whoever sent me this. Coming next time: Chapter two of this travesty of fan fiction.