Hermione: NO! Ill let you get with a lot of things you love hating, purity defiling self assured prig, but you
are *not* singing Eminem. Got it?
Draco: Whatever floats your boat, Toothy. Anyway people, were back with Chapter Two of A Mary Sue +
Tom Riddle= ... , A title given too us by the great reader who sent us this fic. Thumbs up to you.
Harry: Wait a second... its because of them that we need to read this!
Draco: .......well then the reader sucks.
Chap. 2-Tamary Marvolone Riddle.
Draco: What the *fuck* is this bitches pention for POS names?
Months later Alantia had her child, it was a beautiful baby girl.
Harry: You know its weird. Even though the *real* title of this was ‘For My Daughter’, its amazing how the
crappiness so readily blocks the fact its a pregnancy fic from your mind.
Alantia had thought once she had her child she'd feel better about loosing Tom,
Draco: *Porn Music*
Hermione: Oh come on! ‘Loose’ is not a sexual verb!
Draco: Well it should be. And it could be. Listen close. “Ohhh yeah... thats right babye... loose that thing...
uhhhh... loose it! LOOSE IT!
Hermione: Stop it!!! GOD...
Draco: Mwah
but having her sweet beautiful baby only made it worse,
Harry: When trying to make any sort of sense at all, dont mix ‘sweet beautiful baby’ with ‘worse’.
she was just like Tom, deep emerald green eyes, black hair, and pale skin, even for a baby.
Draco: <Alantia> The gender thing *was* a subtle difference... but Tom never had much of a dick anyway.
Alantia sat holding her baby not sure what to name it, Lidia tapping her impationtly, and glaring at Alantia
while she pondered a name as if to say 'You better name it Lidia Lestat Gothis, after me.', but finally Alantia
spoke...
Hermione: ‘Impartiently.’ And it looks likes shes resumed the eternal sentences again
Draco: Lidia has to be a Mary Sue #2. Not the conventional kind, but the villain. The one who ruins
*everything*, is incredibly idiotic, and all powerful in her evil.
Harry: Kind of like the Dursleys?
Draco: Sssh... Rowling will hurt us
"I'm going to name her Tamary Marvolone Riddle, Tam for short...so she is technically named after her fa-"
Hermione: Tam is not the female equivilant of Tom. Mainly because Tam is not a name.
Draco: And if it was, itd be the kind of name people like ‘hitler’ went by.
"No you're not!"Lidia shouted"Her name will be Salisiri Lidia Lestat Gothis."
Draco: Oh, right, she was just standing there *waiting* for her to say that name, and when she didnt she got
pissed off.
Hermione: ...Salsiri... good lord. Wait a second- thats *still* named after Toms family, as hes the Slytherin
Heir.
Draco: See? Bad writers try to be clever for a second and they get sucked into a plot hole
Alantia glared at her mother, and bit down on her lip to keep from yelling a list of profanities at her.
Harry: Apparently Alantia is unaware of the fact that she doesnt *have* to let her mom be there
"Mother, she will NOT be named after SCUM like YOU...I will name her Salizira in your favor but the rest
stays."
Draco: Salizira sounds like some kind of shampoo...
Ron: Or tomato sauce.
Hermione: I love how shes talking about her favor and calling her scum at the same time
Harry: Yeah... wasnt she supposed to be afraid of her mom?
"WHAT!? I didn't say Salizira! I said Salisiri, after your grandmother! Now have some respect and change it
back!"
Harry: I dont even think the most melodramatic soap opera would have a mother screaming at her daughter
and newborn grand daughter over something as stupid as a name
"No. I never liked that name, or grandma, so her name will remain 'Salizira' Tamary Marvolone Riddle."
Draco: This kid is going to get beat to *shit* in school.
Harry: I hate to agree with you... but yeah, yeah he is. The only *half* normal name he has is Riddle, and
even that can get made fun of.
Hermione: Can you imagine having to spell that out all the time?
After Alantia finished and grinned Lidia stomped off, muttering about how rude Alantia had become since
the Riddle boy had made her 'impure', Alantia of course just smiled at this and looked to her beautiful
sleeping daughter whom was busy drooling in her sleep, which made Alantia smile.
Draco: God... I wish these sentences were shorter, and not just for the fact they resemble slightly coherent
thought that way. If they werent so fucking long we wouldnt have to do these laundry list of errors all the
time.
Harry: First of all, she ‘grinned’, ‘smiled’, and ‘smiled’ again in the course of about .5 seconds
Hermione: Second, and I say this with a *long* record of acting like a rule abiding, book worm proper snot,
no one has used the words ‘impure’ to describe losing your virginity at the age of 18 since the 18th century.
"You're so sweet my little girl, yet...so much like your father..."She whispered to Tam softly, gently dabbing
away her drool.
Draco: *Snickers*
Hermione: What?
Draco: That just creates this fantastic image of Riddle walking around drooling and bumping into walls.
Alantia stood, wincing slightly and walked to a craddle, carefully, she set Tam in it and slowly walked back
to her bed, lifting her pillow and picking up her wand which had been underneith, she flicked her wrist
muttering something softly and her room door shut and locked, she gave a weak smile and crawled back into
bed closing her deep blue eyes, drifting to sleep
Harry: Thats right kids, *that* was a sentence. Even though they forgot the period.
After a few hours a tapping on the window had awoken Tam, making her cry loudly, and awakening Alantia
whom had been Tom.
Hermione: Alantia had been Tom?
Harry: When?
Draco: When they screwed? Damn, the girl fucked herself in more ways than just agreeing to be in this piece
of shit
Alantia gave a fustrated sigh and got up walking to the craddle and rocked it, putting Tam back to sleep.
Hermione: Shes been a mom for a *few hourse*, and shes already tired of her kid. Great maternal instincts.
-TAP-
-TAP-
Draco: Right, we got it when they said there was a tapping. Jesus Christ...
Upon hearing the tapping Alantia's hearted sunk, and she looked to the window, sure enough Navie, Tom's
grey owl was at the window.
Hermione: See, in real life, the mother would be overjoyed to get word from her babys father...
Draco: Yeah, well, in real life there is no such thing as ‘hearted’.
Alantia rushed to the window, unlatching it and jerking it open, letting the beautiful owl fly in, it dropped a
letter into Alantia's hands and flew back out the window, Alantia smiled briefly and quickly unfolded the
letter, it read:
Draco: Its amazing how these Death Sentences, despite not being the worst part of the story, are the most
annoying.
Harry: For someone who this author is trying to portray as endlessly tortured and shit up, she sure ‘smiles,
grins, chuckles’ a hell of a lot.
My Dear Alantia,
I pray the birth was easy, and all went well, I was informed by Julian Malfoy you had gave birth, and...that
you were to marry him and he'd provide for my daughter.
Hermione: All of *that* happened between chapters!?
Draco: What a segway to a letter, huh? I hope our kid is good... oh yeah, your getting hitched to some other
dude.
I hope you understand and don't mind, but I killed him,
Draco: *Blinks*
Hermione: Hes quite the blunt one, isnt he?
Harry: I dont think this is going to sit well with miss ‘dont be all Voldemort’ here.
his brother Lucifer informs me that you didn't want to marry him anyway.
Draco: ...Lucifer? No one actually *names* their kid Lucier! They just sort of insinuate it with a name like
Lucius. Idiot.
Oh, I almost forgot, another owl should arrive shortly with my gift to our daughter and shortly after that one
should arrive with ten thousand galleons, I hope that will buy her new clothing until this summer, and I'll
send more.
Hermione: Oh... dear... god...
Draco: *Glances at Harry* Without getting into any Monty Python references, an owl cant *carry* 10,000
Galleons. They just cant. Its, like, trying to carry a refridgerator. Filled with *rocks*.
Harry: Not to mention 10 thousand wouldnt just by her clothes for the summer, it would buy her a house. Or
two.
Hermione: *And* clothes for the summer.
Alan' please send a letter and photo of the baby with the last owl if you can, I miss hearing from you very
much.
Hermione: Thats right, the kids been in this world for a few hours only and their already flashing bright lights
at it. Jackass...
Harry: How does he know the order these owls are arriving, anyway?
I promise you Alantia I will come for you two someday, someday soon. See you soon my dearest love.
As Always,
Tom.
P.s. What is our child's name?
Ron: Oh, now *theres* a last minute thought.
Hermione: I love how this person thinks that Owl Post is the most technologically advanced communication
wizards have. What, are they *inferior* to Muggles here?
Alantia gave a faint smile and set the letter on her pillow and sat at her desk, and sure enough as soon as she
pulled out a quill and parchment, another owl was flying in.
Draco: Sure enough...
Harry: Theres that faint smile again.
The owl hooted and dropped a package into Alantia's lap, as he left.
Draco: As he left *what*? If he dropped the package as he left, what the fuck did he do on the way in?
Alantia set the package aside and quickly began to write...
Hermione: Because, you know, theres nothing in that package that she might possibly want to mention in a
letter.
Draco: Im still praying the owl attacks her
Dearest Tom,
Her name is Tamary Mavolone Riddle.
Harry: <Tom> What the f... my kid has a retard for a mom
For my mother's sake I am going to nick name her Salizira...but I will call her Tam, for you Tom.
Hermione: Thats going to be a NICK NAME!?
Draco: Generally nick names have something to do with the original name, or personality of the person
being named. They arent made up in advance to please a bitchy grandmother.
She is very beautiful, as you can see in the picture. She looks just like you...deep emerald eyes, silky black
hair, and a cute face.
Harry: ‘Silky’ is a bit of an over statement considering we all know babys are born with a few strands of hair
at best.
And no, Tom, I do not mind that you killed Julian,
Draco: Well thats just swell
Harry: You think as she wrote that she would pause and take a good, long, hard look at her life
he was horrible to me, and the morning Tam was born(March 23,1946), he told me she was an ugly child
and we should bandon her.
Hermione: Because thats a completely realistic thing for someone to say.
I felt so hurt, I made him leave and told him to go tell you about her birth.
And its been three days, and I thought he had not told you, so I decided not to wait any longer to pick a
name, and I named her, I hope you like the name, it was that Lidia Lestat Gothis, after my mother.
Hermione: Huh?
Harry: I think they forgot to put an ‘or’ in there...
Hermione: While. Through guessing we actually managed to make coherent thought out of this crap.
Draco: Dont you kind of *have* to name a baby when its born? What do you say to it, ‘hey dude?’
My sweet Tom thank you for the money and gift, but how did you get that much?
Harry: <Tom> Knocked over a liqour store, pawned a few things... oh yeah, my family inheritance goes
back to SALAZAR SLYTHERIN YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!
Honestly Tom, and of course that'll be enough, and if it wasn't I have nothing to worry about I have plenty
of money.
Draco: <Tom> Then give me back my cash, ho.
Hermione: Ok, enough with the Tom impersonations
Well love I have to go, your owl is waiting, I love you with my heart and soul, bye now.
Hermione: Their lives are *run* by these damned owls
Alantia.
Ps. The birth went fine, I'm still a bit sore from the pushing though, but I'll be fine.
Hermione: I think that middle part was more detail than any of us wanted to hear.
Alantia quickly folded the letter, and put a picture of Tam, from the day she was born inside, she tied it with
a silver ribbon and the owl dropped the galleons on her desk, snatched the letter by the ribbon with it's beak
and flew off out the window and Alantia retired to her bed yawning softly.
Harry: Oh my god... they got through one of those Sentences of Death without a ‘faint smile’.
Tom paced the length of his bed room nervously he had been worried to death since Julian had said Alantia
had give birth, he had no desire for her to die as his mother had.
Ron: I think that one is a given, actually.
Hermione: It took them all of one sentence to go from hopelessly bleak to way over described.
Finally after what seemed like years the owl Tom had sent returned, and it had a letter!
Draco: What seemed like years but was really only about ten seconds, apparently.
A letter tied with the special silver Ribbon Alantia always used.
Draco: You think shed run out or something.
Hermione: After all, she is trapped in a room that she gave birth in.
-YES!!! I got through!- Tom thought, running to the window and taking the letter, which he opened and
read quickly.
Hermione: <Tom> Yay! Heheh! *Giggles* I got a nooote!
"Tamary...what a gorgeous name.."He whispered softly, holding his daughter's picture and smiling,"For such
a gorgeous child...hmm...she does look alot like me...but cuter, much more so.."
Draco: Whats with all these sick bastards thinking they look like three day old girls?
Harry: And thinking that ‘Tamary’ is beautiful, let alone a real name.
"Accio picture frame!"Tom said, pointing his wand to a open door way, and soon a small silver frame, just
right from the picture zoomed into his hands and he put the picture of his daughter smiling and blinking up at
him into the frame.
Hermione: Ignoring the fact that its a Sentence of Death... which is hard to do, mind you, *why* does he
have an open frame the same size as his picture in the next room over? And in the open! You think itd be in
a drawer or something.
"I promise you Tam...someday...I will be there..."Tom sighed, setting the picture on his nightstand along
with the letter, and laying down, staring up at his ceiling, until finally he fell fast asleep.
Draco: Actually, he will. Too bad hell be bringing an Army and a few crucified Pheonix’s with him.
Back at the Gothis Manor, Alantia had awoken to her mother banging on the door.
Harry: Wait... they are *in* the house? This kid was just born there?
"OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW YOUNG LADY!"Lidia shouted, kicking and punching the large olive
wood door.
Hermione: Asking politely apparently never occured to her.
Harry: Neither did the fact punching a door only hurts your hand.
Draco: What can I say? Classic psychosematic yet retarded villain.
"No way." Came Alantia's response as she picked up a crying Tam, and rocked her gently, setting her on the
bed and grabbing the package Tom had sent.
Hermione: Which, for some idiotic reason or another, she has yet to open.
"NO!? YOU BETTER OPEN THIS DOOR OR I'LL BUST IT DOWN AND KILL THAT BASTARD
CHILD OF YOURS!"
Draco: As I said... psychosematic yet retarded.
Harry: She *does* know who the dad is. That eliminates ‘bastard’ right away
With that the door was opened, and Alantia stood with a furious glint in her eyes, and her dagger in hand,
her voice was no more then a whisper, but made silence with easy as the icy tone cut through the air.
Hermione: ...wow.
Harry: You think the mom could have just opened the door.
Draco: And where the fuck did she get a dagger? Was *that* Toms package? Aw... wittle baybe, Ive given
you a scimitar.
"If you ever...ever even think about laying a finger on my daughter's head again there will be hell to pay."
Harry: The fact shes a *wizard* threatening *another* wizard, with a *knife*... apparently no one in the
confrontation thinks thats odd.
"How dare you, you ungreatful little slut!"Lidia shouted, slapping Alantia across the face, so hard she fell to
the ground, and Tam began to cry again.
Hermione: Im still baffled as to why shes still in the house
Harry: Because if she wasnt we wouldnt be exposed to all of this stupid crap. And there would be a god.
Ron: I *used* to think there was a god. Before we got this job, anyway
Alantia rubbed her face lightly, and stared up at her mother hatefully, and she stood, taking the dagger. and
holding it to Lidia's chin.
Draco: Ah, family relationships are just so special.
Harry: I honestly dont think its possible for anyone to be this stupid.
Ron: Well someone had to be... they wrote this.
"Get out of my room.
Draco: <Mom> Get out of my *house*, bitch
I never want to see you again, you ruined my life, and Tam's before it even began."Alantia whispered, the
dagger cutting into Lidia's chin,
Harry: ...yipes?
"You are so lucky that you made it impossible for me to leave this room..."
Hermione: Thats right. Not only is that possible, its also unbreakable and perfectly legal.
Harry: She has her knife to her chin. She could kill her leaving the room or not.
And with that the door was slammed shut and Alantia locked it, walking back to the bed that her poor crying
daughter laid on, and rocked her to sleep.
Ron: Im still in awe at how someone could write a page of action in one sentence and not just *pause* to
wonder what the hell theyre doing.
Alantia looked to Tom's package,
Draco: *Porn Music*
Hermione: *Snorts* Hehe!
Harry: ...you arent supposed to laugh at that kind of thing, Mione.
Hermione: Oops.
and gave a soft sigh, she picked it open and slowly opened it her deep blue eyes widened to see what was
inside...It was Tom's diary he had been keeping in school, a small locket and a note, the note of course was
to Alantia...
Hermione: Oh god, the journal...
Draco: You heard it hear folks. The diary that somehow made it to the *brother* of the guy Tom Riddle
killed also made it to the chick Tom knocked up on the last day of school
Dear Alan',
DO NOT give our daughter either of these items until she is able to understand dark magic, and please, don't
start, I get the point, you don't want her to be evil, BUT, these won't make her evil, the diary is a log of my
memories, with it she will have a form of a way to talk to me, but its still dangerous for her to use until she is
ready, and the locket holds un-thinkable dark magic, that if released could harm millions...its to protect her
from those bloody gryffindor bullies.
Harry: *Jaw drops* Thats it. Ive hit my limit. That was THE worst thing I have ever read. Ever. Seriously.
Draco: Do we even have *room* to mock that? It kind of mocks *itself*
Hermione: We could... try.
Draco: *Sighs* All right. First, hes writing like hes talking. Second, Tom Riddle doesnt believe in evil.
Third, he should never give anything harmful to his daughter. Fourth, where would Tom get this locket.
Fifth, why in gods name would it be used against Gryffindors? WE taunt the Gryffindors. Did I miss
anything?
Harry: Well... he doesnt know if his daughter will be either magical or not a Gryffindor.
And please don't be angry with me...it was the best birth day gift I could think of giving her,
Hermione: Toms imagination, we could say, is slightly limited...
Draco: And untimely. Hes giving gifts that he should probably give her, hm, WHEN she can use them?
well Ta ta.
Harry: *Sighs* Once again... this is not a 13 year old girl writing a note to another 13 year old girl in
Addition class.
Hermione: Addition is taught to 8 year olds...
Harry: Yeah, but anyone that dumbs had to have been left back at *least* 5 years
Love,
Tom.
Alantia blinked repeatedly, she could not believe Tom just sent her..their daughter such evil things..but then
again this was Tom 'Voldemort', and he always had a nack for getting the worse things imaginable for
people, hey atleast it wasn't a basilisk egg.
Hermione: She knows an awfully lot about this guy for having let him blow his load in her unprotected
"My dear Tom...if these things ever harm my..our daughter I will chop you up into little pieces..."Alantia
whispered, slowly getting up and putting the box of 'gifts' away, and walking back to the bed in which the
sleeping Tam slept on
Hermione: UGH... babys sleep in CRIBS.
Harry: And Tom cant *hear* her. If he could, they wouldnt need any of these dumbfuck letters.
Alantia soon placed Tam in her craddle, not knowing Tom would never send her another letter...gift....or
cent for their young daughter again.
Draco: 10,000 Galleons isnt enough? Jesus *christ*...
Harry: Silence! Were actually done!
Draco: ...really?
Harry: Yes!
Draco: THANK YOU GOD! *Collapses to knees, crying in happiness*
Tiger: Uh...
Draco: *Suddenly normal* What!? Dont make me kill you.
Tiger: Actually, theres more chapters. Theyre here for next time.
Draco: I going to rip your heart out... *dives after him*
Tiger: Agh! *Flees*
Harry: Fuck the final comments. Im going to go take a shower to get any remnants of this fic off my skin.