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“Son, shouldn’t you be leaving? It’s getting late for Office” warns mom.

“But amma, I haven’t even finished the idlis, leave alone the coffee”, I protest.

“Why don’t you take an idli in your hand and rush out like time conscious Shah Rukh always seems to be doing at breakfast time in the movies? “ questions mom.

“Mom, you’re seeing too much television for your good and what’s more without sufficiently observing the details. Shah Rukh always dashes with a slice of bread in his hand not an idli. With idlis, things are more complex. If I dashed out with idlis where do I keep the sambhar, the chutney? Let go of those dashing heroes and watch me lap up your smashing idlis. Please one more idli” says me, poetically.

Mom stomps out of the dining hall kitchen-wise, requesting Lord Vinayak to lend some sense to her delinquent son. Me, I never knew the guy was a reformer too. Just shows, how versatile our gods can be!

“Hey mom, what about that idli”, I demand meekly.

“Son, its 8.45 a.m., your office starts at 9.00 a.m. Shouldn’t you at least be getting tense. Look at Tommy, always on time.”

“Mom, you can flex either your employees or their time. Our company chooses the latter. By the way, who’s this Tommy character, don’t seem to have met him?” I answer wondering if she was referring to our unfriendly neighbor's friendly dog. I agree that such a comparison would be totally undeserving of me, but then moms' like Bertie's aunts aren't always gentlemen!

“So you don’t even know who Tommy is. Your current affairs knowledge is demeaning to say the least. Wonder why your company continues to keep you. Tommy is Twinki’s brother.”

Now, mom’s made the topic intriguing with this Twinki character making her entry.

“Who’s Twinki?”, I ask mom, trying to sound disinterested, but wondering @ speed of thought if she’s that cute chick I saw bargaining with the corner store baaji wala yesterday. Come to think of it, these baaji guys are damn lucky chaps. They get to converse for hours together with all the alien (read out of the world) dames. In fact, I suspect that the devils purposefully raise prices in order to win more time haggling with the gals. I wistfully wonder if mom would have kept her side of the bargain when she threatened to make a baaji wala out of me if I flunked academics. Knowing mom, she wouldn’t have, or even if she had she would have set up a shop for me in an all male locality.

“Now that’s unbelievable, “ exclaims mom, cutting across my reverie, “ don’t you know Twinki, daughter of Johnson, main character in the prime time noon soap opera?”

“You TALKED all this TIME about A SOAP?” I cry hoarsely, offering silent apologies to the baaji wala species as all my thoughts fall like the nimblest of nine pins.

“What’s wrong with a soap opera?” demands mom defensively.

“Nothing, except like their namesake chemical preparations, they slip out of your reach just when you think you’ve caught up with them. By the way, can I have more coffee? No? Not even on second thoughts? Not even if I take back that slur of mine on soaps? No? Very well then”. I walk toward the door wistfully thinking of what could have been.

“Hey, Ramesh has just scored another fifty,” says dad, looking like a roman emperor, head reclining on the sofa, breakfast in hand.

Coffee is next on the menu. I believe I could get dad to share some with me. I settle down to watch a spot of TV. Our guy is setting the screen ablaze with his delectable shots played with undeletable footwork. The Female species protest that this is okay, as long as he is delectable, whatever that means. If you ever get that piece of logic, do let me know.

‘So, you haven’t still left” says mom resignedly.

“Mom coffee” say I.

“Give the poor boy some”, says dad, who hopes my continuing presence would stop the inevitable – mom changing the channel to tune into the latest recipes.

Mom relents and I drink my coffee. And then? I leave, of course. Can’t negotiate forever. Besides, have got to go, spread some sweetness and light elsewhere, too, haven’t I?