devotion
i am known as devotion
i live in Hawaii
devotion's Homepage
i have been coming into submission for five years now. In all this time i have thought often about being a submissive. Struggling to find the true answers locked up deep inside me. i have always liked to tease and do silly things in channel because that is a big part of who i am, but these past few years i have gained tremendous insight into my submissive side.
These inroads into my soul have been made because i am a submissive by my own free choice i am finally allowing myself to be who and what i truly am. i hope that some day i will be lucky enough to find a Master i will respect and honor by trying to obey His commands knowing that if i fail He will guide me with His firm but gentle hands.
i thought about how to write this for a long time, where to start, how to put into words feelings so strong they take over my very being, and also so personal it's hard to even describe to anyone else.
Submission to me is a gift, it is the most precious thing i can give....me. It is a special gift that can never be given without TOTAL trust and love.
Submission is a total package, it is physical but more important for me, it is the mental, the mindset and the total feeling. The amazing knowledge that with a word or a suggestion or hearing His voice, and i could lose myself completely. i wish to be taken places within me and out of me that i never knew existed, places where only the sound of His soothing voice can take me, and then calm me and bring me back.
Submission is also not something that is an easily defined term, it is different for every Master/Mistress and sub, and it is unique to the people involved in the specific relationship. What works in one relationship might be wrong for another. Personalities still play a major part. The Master i seek and His personality are what i need and what spurs me on and attracts me. It is the mix i need, the strong and controlling and forceful, but never EVER forcing on me, it's the understanding and patience, and caring for me...it's Him taking time for me to sometimes "come around".
i have many fears within me, i worry i will disappoint or bore and although this can be infuriating and bring disappointment, it can also be an integral part, it can stop me being complacent and just assuming He will always be here. i would also be happy to hand over the "keys" to me. Say out loud the ways to push my buttons, the ways to deal with me when i have erred, the ways that will achieve the optimum punishment for me, not physically all the time, i would give the keys to the mental control. i could never keep anything from Him. It's the comfort of being able to share and communicate and the knowledge that my fears and expectations or needs will be listened to and taken on board, i may not get an answer at the time, but i know He hears me.
i would like to find this Person, this Being who wants me and whom i want to give the precious gift of me and my submission to. To love me because i am me and because He can see the potential inside me, and He has the power to bring it out.
One day a Dominate may offer a collar and i may accept but even if that never happens i will be comfortable with my submissiveness and continue to learn more about it every day. |
