curated by subverterus
last updated July 12, 2003
October 1995
44 pages, 5 1/2" x 8 1/2"
DVM's final zine to date, a compilation of work he's published from himself, Clark Dissmeyer, Bruno D. Nadalin, Gordon Nelson and Fred Wheaton.
I hope he publishes again. I like his website Pixel Stupor, but I also like the convenience, the texture and the durability of publications such as his.
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marginals: tiny comic strips that fill out the page bottoms in Dave's zines. According to him, he uses this word "in homage to Sergio Aragones' teeny-tiny marginals in Mad magazine."
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front cover: by DVM
How ironic Dave the Brain would have trouble drawing a brain.
page 2: full-page indicia by DVM
He dedicates the zine to his (presumed) artistic influences: "TV commercials for For Brunettes Only hair dye," Ritalin, ABBA, Picture Stories of the Sex Life of Man and Woman, etc.
page 3: editorial by DVM
page 4: "The Culprits" by DVM
Bios of the five artists in this zine, with self-portraits.
page 5: "Clowns for Christ" by Fred Wheaton (1989)
Yes, clowns for Christ. And pro-choice escort mimes.
page 6: "Autobiographical Fun with Dave the Derelict" by DVM (1989)
DVM adopts a Pittsburgh accent, loses his "telemarketin jahb," gets hurled through a picture window by his mother, and has a muttering bag lady for a girlfriend.
page 7: "Arnie Bear" by Gordon Nelson (1989)
Only Gordon could make bestiality, dismemberment, AIDS, and a close-up of a bear's butthole and balls look charming.
page 7 (marginal): "Brain-Damaged Bros." by DVM (1991)
Dave's brother: "BURP! That was for your artistic ability!" Dave: "URRRP! For the Pixies, Talking Heads, U2 and Boxcar Willie!"
page 8: "What a Pal! Comics" by Fred Wheaton (1989)
Autobiographical comics. "Don't cry--my friend Wayne will fuck you while I'm gone." With a nude scene by Mego's Green Arrow action figure.
page 8 (marginal): "Moonbear Goes to Hell" by Fred Wheaton (1989)
Moonbear: everyone's favorite (human) retard. "Hey Moonbear! Can I have your soul?" "DOKAY."
pages 9-10: "The Town Crud" by Gordon Nelson (1989)
More autobiography. Gordon's dog Trixie lets rip "essence of canned Alpo," causing a woman to puke prodigiously.
page 9 (marginal): "Golden Oldie Comix Presents 'Pump Up the Jam' by Technotronic" by DVM (1990)
"So much for going HIP, man! Next time I'll illustrate a ROD McKUEN song!"
page 10 (marginal): "Witless Camp Kitsch Crap Comix" by DVM (1990)
Judy Herebruba (Quality Control, Matth Industries) tells Dave to draw something original, so he draws "an ant version of Kafka's story 'A Hunger Artist'!"
page 11 (top): "Cool Girl Comics" by Gordon Nelson (1989)
Sex fantasies of the dorky and grubby.
page 11 (bottom): "Jeffrey Dahmer Commemorative T-Shirts" by DVM (1991)
DVM's only foray into the serial-killer mania so prevalent during the early-'90s?
page 12: untitled drawing by Fred Wheaton (1990)
The same fish-hooky drawing as in DVM's zine Crunky Slugs #1 (November 1992).
page 13 (top): "Tales from the Restroom" by Gordon Nelson (1990)
A sensitive look at hobosexuality (not a misprint).
page 13 (marginal): "Helen Hat Sez" by DVM (1995)
"Why can't Dave publish nice, decent comics? Now take Mary Worth--there's a nice, decent comic."
pages 14-15: "Stevie Wonder Impression" by DVM (1990, 1994)
Pittsburgh-accented drug babble from a guy in a Simpsons T-shirt. "...you wanna hear mah impression of Stevie Wonder YOU AH A SUNSHINE A MY LAHF..."
page 14 (marginal): "Partytime" by DVM (1991)
Assorted party chatter: "Economic downturn...3rd qtr. loss for '91...episode of 30-something..."
page 15: "Leon from Sales" by DVM (1991)
Leon wonders why his hot "bitch" coworker spurned him. "More 'n' more cake eaters in this office, yet I like Twinkies."
pages 16-17: "Moonbear's Inferno" by Fred Wheaton (1991)
Everyone's favorite (human) retard "plummets into the pit of Hell" and soon "rules Gehenna."
page 18: "Stubby" by Gordon Nelson (1991)
The flannel-shirted Stubby talks in rhyme as he burns down the woods. "I'm pouring gasoline down (that's the trick)...Now all I've got to do is flick my Bic!"
page 18 (marginal): "How to Save Face" by DVM (1991)
A white boy's too shy to introduce himself to a passing black girl. "Guess I should turn into a racist now," he thinks.
page 19: untitled by DVM (1992)
A balding, middle-aged guy holding a mug of something hot wonders why his abusive father died such a peaceful death.
page 20 (top): "A Public Service Announcement" by Clark Dissmeyer (1992)
"Don't burn the American flag!...Burn them all! (I apologize to anyone whose flag was not represented.)"
page 20 (center): "Another Public Service Announcement" by DVM (1992)
Actually a Dense Shoelaces strip from Crunky Slugs.
page 20 (marginal): "Master of Womanhood" by DVM (1992)
"[W]hen Roe v. Wade dies...I'll keep dames in their place, as breeders with no hope, with no future! For I am...FETUS! YAHAHAHAHAHA!"
page 21: "Fartbutt: Gaseous Terror from Beyond" by Gordon Nelson (1992)
A giant, disembodied, floating, flatulent pair of buttocks. Plus the word "hark". Need I say more?
page 21 (marginal): "On Sale Now!" by DVM (1992)
Ben-Wa balls ("We cut them off Mr. Wa this morning"), My First Dildo, and Rusty the Inflatable Altar Boy.
pages 22-23: "The Lure of the Bitch-Queen" by Clark Dissmeyer (1993)
Dongor the Mighty suckles Queen Lactia. "Mommy!"
page 22 (marginal): "Didja Know?" by DVM (1992)
White guy: "Didja know that everyone who has ever had sex has died?" Black guy: "Sounds like a Jewish-Korean conspiracy to me!"
page 23 (marginal): "Derogatory Images" by DVM (1992)
Even black and Jewish stereotypes are "still incredibly horny!"
pages 24-25: "To Commemorate the 30th Anniversary of John F. Kennedy's Assassination, We Asked a Few of His Closest Friends to Reminisce about His Now-Legendary Schlong--Drool, Drool" by DVM (1993)
With a reference to Kennedy, that fucking annoying early-'90s female Republican MTV veejay.
page 26 (top): Eye of Horus ad by DVM
Ad for a now-defunct business on the South Side of Pittsburgh.
page 26 (center): ad (not by DVM) for something called Punk Pals Unwashed--"Mail From People Who Don't Crochet"
page 26 (bottom): Marky Mouse shills for the DVM zines Subliminal Virginity #1, Subliminal Virginity #2, and Tastes Like Teen Sputum #1
I have that last one!
pages 27-30: "Santa Goes to Hell" by Clark Dissmeyer (1993)
An e-vile corporation gives Santa eternal life...for a price. "Gee, Dad! Thanks for the cosmic Ninja death masturbator robot!"
pages 27-30 (marginals): "Invasion of the Black Unwed Welfare Mothers!" by DVM (1994)
"They're the cause of every single problem in the U.S. today!" says a pipe-smoking white guy fleeing from them. Features a reference to O.J. Simpson.
page 31: "Simultaneous Orgasms" by Bruno D. Nadalin (1994)
Full-page drawing of an unclothed gentleman manipulating his lengthy forked reproductive organ (one side labeled DEPRESSION, the other PANIC) to release.
page 32: "Are the Best Things in Life Passing You By?" by Bruno D. Nadalin (1994)
Full-page drawing of an unclothed, corpulent gentleman performing coitus in an easy chair with an unclothed (save for black stockings), corpulent lady.
pages 33-36: "The 50/50 Fetishist" by DVM
"Mr. RAYBERT FLOYD (not his real name), age 28", says he likes jacking off with cotton/polyester bedsheets. With a spurting schlong, apparently unusual in DVM's comics.
page 37: untitled comic by Bruno D. Nadalin (1994)
First appeared in 11/12 Dave #1 (January 1995).
page 38: "Very Funny" by DVM (1994)
Gregory feel threatened by the young Negro males at the bus stop in Aliquippa.
page 39: "Pee-Gnome" by Gordon Nelson (1994)
"I can see you but you can't see me. I keep tabs on who takes a pee."
page 40: "Dave Matthews Theater" by DVM (1995)
Starring Action Scalp as Dave Matthews, the cigar-chomping Snyder Spider as his guardian angel ("Look alive, fag!"), and robots as Dave's family.
pages 41-42: "Tooler the Toy Sex Robot Meets Lollipop Lil at Pearl's Thrift House" by DVM (1995)
page 43: "'80s Night at the Poetry Slam" by DVM (1995)
page 44: Slacker ad by DVM (1995)
For an actual business on the South Side of Pittsburgh. (The store no longer offers video rentals.)
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