A child sits in a corner
screaming at the top of her lungs
that she wont give in

cries and hollors pound in the night
heart beating faster with every breath
memories of the causes flood her brain:

people not caring, pushing her away
only a common curtesy shown
unloyal lies and deciptive love

fear of failure and not being needed
crying because noone saw
how she was or what she did

remembering these times
and when she tried to change
recalling what they said-brings pain

beliefs that she must be perfect
do good all the time
and that she can't break down

memories of the first time she crumbled
let her despair control her
and the fear she felt when it was done

she screams out at these thoughts
wishes them away
but they still plague her:

telling her of the time she let her gaurd down
and let someone in, the pain that
swallowed her when they went away

thoughts of when she consumed
things to make it stop
but made it worse in the end

the thoughts she had when she smiled;
of things she could not bring
herself to tell her friends

breaking inside, decieveing all
even them who thought they knew
they didn't know anything real

she cries harder at the memories
of times when she won
when they believed her clever lies

they believed she was only lonely
not filled with panic of being with others
not considering what she might do without them

She crawls deeper into the corner
wanting just to melt away
not wanting the next day to come

still the thoughts haunt her
sing about her acts
and the words shared with friends:

none of them saw the worst
of her self decay, noone saw
the deepest cuts or the freshest scars

choked sobs as she reminisces
on how she lied to one
of her closest friends

how she only shared the
smallest of her problems
shed the least of her tears

pain fills her at the thought of
how she told that she was ok
not as painridden as she seemed.

thoughts of the nights
when she cried herself to sleep
and longed for a comforting arm

rememebering the time
when she almost gave up
almost gave in- for good

cries of when she had been weak
let them drive her to the end
forgetting that she would just prove their point

so now she sits in a corner
remembering all her flaws
but conceling all her pain:

wanting someone to love her
as she is, to try and help her
along the hard path of life

so she dries her tears
and stands up tall
and opens her mouth to speak....