The moment they returned home, Jun Ying and Wilson promptly went to the playroom and began acting out their ski adventure for Lulu who gamely donned a parka and ski cap and made skiing motions with the children across the room whilst making whoosh sound effects.

Alice and Helena watched them, and then turned to look at one another, exchanging identical looks of amusement and love, before Alice took Helena by the hand and led her to her bedroom.

"How're you feeling?" Alice asked, touching the back of her hand to Helena's forehead for the thirty-fifth time that day.

Helena swatted at Alice's hands, though she smiled. "I told you. I'm perfectly fine."

Alice sat down on the bed and pulled Helena, giggling, into her lap. Alice wrapped her arms around Helena as the woman snuggled into her and tapped her index finger against Helena's forehead. "Then how come you still feel warm?" Alice challenged.

"Because I'm not a corpse?" Helena asked, smiling insouciantly.

Alice scowled at her and reclined so they both lay on their sides with Alice spooning Helena from behind. "Don't be a dork, Helena," Alice chided. On the flight home, Helena was slumped in her seat and looked as though she wanted to be anywhere but on an airplane. It was probably just a cold, but Alice couldn't help worry anyway.

Helena chuckled. "Did you not once tell me you had a 'thing' for dorks?"

Alice gently poked Helena in the ribs. "When I was, like, twenty," she said with mock exasperation. "Now I like snarky British women who think they're clever."

"Who think they're clever?" Helena repeated, pretending to be offended.

Alice lightly whapped Helena's shoulder. "You heard me."

"You would abuse an unwell woman this way?" Helena joked.

Alice's hand, which was gently trailing up and down Helena's stomach, stilled. "Seriously, are you feeling okay?" Alice asked, bending her head to kiss Helena's shoulder.

Helena placed her hand over Alice's. "I'm fine," Helena said softly. "It's just a cold."

Alice's eyes narrowed and she buried her face into Helena's hair. "I'm sorry you're sick." Alice said quietly, though she wasn't surprised Helena would be a little run down after everything.

Helena chuckled. "I am sorry as well," Helena joked.

Alice snorted softly and lightly rubbed Helena's stomach. "Do you still feel nauseated?"

"A little," Helena admitted.

Alice stood up abruptly on the bed and stepped over Helena to lay down on the other side of the British woman so they could face one another. "Are you sure you're okay and not just saying you are?" Alice asked suspiciously, tucking some hair behind Helena's ear. "Because you kind of have that habit and it's a bad one-- really it is." Alice brought Helena's hand to her lips and kissed Helena's fingers. "I almost wish you'd bite your nails or something instead."

Helena laughed. "I'm fine," she said. After a moment's pause, Helena spoke again. "I've felt better, of course," Helena admitted, "but really, it's nothing. You need not worry about me."

Alice grinned at her. "Hey, if I want to worry about you, that's my right as your girlfriend," Alice said. She waved her index finger playfully in Helena's face and tapped it against her cheek. "You can't take my rights away from me!" she exclaimed as though she were at a protest rally.

Helena burst into laughter. "Darling," she said affectionately.

"What?" Alice asked innocently. "You can't," Alice said with a soft giggle. "I'd like to see you try and take me. I would squash you like a bug in three seconds, so you shouldn't even try."

"I thought we agreed I am more butch than you," Helena said.

"Ha!" Alice exclaimed with a little bit of genuine derision. "Please! You're sick, so you're delusional, and I guess I'll let that pass, but there's no way you are more butch than me"

"Yes, I am," Helena huffed, sounding very much like her children at the moment. She crossed her arms and let out a short, miffed breath, her lower lip jutting out into a pout.

Alice smiled indulgently at her. "You're cute when you're sick."

"I am not cute," Helena protested. "I'm wanton and sexy," Helena said peevishly, her voice cracking slightly at the inopportune moment.

Alice roared with laughter, her heart feeling like it would burst with affection. She grabbed Helena and held her tight. "'Wanton and sexy,'" Alice repeated, laughing a little as she said it. "How come you and your kids are so opposed to being called cute?" Alice asked, thinking of the time she'd pinched Wilson's cheeks and told him he was cute to which he responded, 'I'm not cute, I'm handsome!' She had no idea what this family's opposition was to being called 'cute,' but she found it…well, cute and now that she was a part of it, she had plenty of time to find out.

"You're cute enough for all of us, darling," Helena said with a smile, pinching Alice's cheek.

Alice swatted at Helena's hand. "I'm not cute," she said very seriously. "I'm very wanton and sexy," Alice said, deliberately making her voice crack like Helena's had before bursting into laughter. She kissed Helena's cheek. "Dork," she said playfully, holding Helena close.

They lay in companionable silence for a long while until Alice spoke again.

"I need to tell you something," Alice said softly. She didn't want to bring it up, not right now, but she knew certain things bit a person in the ass if they didn't cop to it right away, and she didn't want anything to bite her in the ass when it came to Helena, except for, perhaps, Helena herself.

Helena looked at her intently. "What is it, darling?"

"I haven't told Dana about us yet," Alice said softly.

Helena paused. "Oh," she breathed.

"I tried to," Alice said quickly. "But I just couldn't. I'm sorry, Helena. I--"

"Darling, it's all right," Helena said, cupping Alice's cheek. "Of course it would be very hard and it would have been inappropriate to have told her while we were still in New York…" Helena said. "Honestly, it's fine."

Alice smiled, clearly relieved. "Are you okay with it?"

Helena nodded earnestly, wincing a little when the motion exacerbated the dull headache she'd had for a couple days now. She rubbed her head. "I know it's hard for you," she said softly.

"Your head still hurts?" Alice asked worriedly, rubbing at Helena's temples.

"Darling, if you would like to talk to her…perhaps spend the night with her, I know these things take time, you can go," Helena said softly. "I would understand." Now that it was over, Helena couldn't help but feel sympathy for Dana, because she knew how she would feel if she were in Dana's place. And it felt cruel to make Dana wait to hear from Alice when Helena had no doubt Dana was waiting. Helena suspected Dana already knew, but she deserved to be told and Helena suspected Alice wanted to tell Dana as soon as and as kindly as possible to keep from pulling Dana around. If she were in Dana's position, she would want to know right away, even if it hurt.

Alice looked torn. "I don't want to leave you alone when you're sick."

Helena lightly swatted at Alice's stomach. "I'm not alone here," she said.

Alice looked hesitant. "Yeah, but…"

"Darling, do you want to talk to Dana today?" Helena asked quietly. She didn't want to push Alice into talking to Dana--the journalist could talk to Dana on her own time. Helena didn't mind at all, but she suspected Alice did want to talk to Dana that day.

Alice hesitated before nodding ruefully. "It's just, you know, I think she deserves to know."

Helena squeezed Alice's hand. "Then go," she said quietly. "Take all the time you need. It's fine."

Alice looked at her uncertainly and then nodded. "Okay," she said quietly, kissing Helena on the forehead and crawling slowly out of bed. "I'm going to call you later," she promised.

Helena watched Alice leave the room and sighed. A part of her worried Dana would be able to talk Alice into changing her mind, but ultimately, Helena trusted Alice and she didn't believe Alice would tell her that she chose her only to change her mind. Alice wasn't like that, and Helena knew this and tried to ignore all the other doubts in her mind. Ultimately, she truly did trust Alice with her heart.
----------------------

Deep down, Dana could admit she'd known.

She'd known when Alice tried so hard to tell her something in Sue's tiny apartment, but Dana couldn't bear hearing it at the time and so she'd told Alice they didn't have to talk about it then.

But she knew.

And now that Alice had told her, confirmed it, Dana wished she'd been wrong. She wished she could turn back time and go back to when she'd broken up with Alice because she thought she needed more experience. She'd always known Alice was the only woman for her, and now she'd lost Alice because she'd been careless and restless. She pleaded with Alice to take her back, swearing this time, she would take care of Alice, would never take her for granted, would love her and only her, forever. This time, Alice's heart would be safe.

"How can you possibly choose her when you told me I was the only one for you?"

"You were the only one for me," Alice insisted. "You're right, if we'd never broken up, Helena and I wouldn't be together. But Dana, I can't just forget about her and go back to you. I'm not like that. I'll always love you, Dana. I adore you, but I love Helena and I…I…"

"I know," Dana interrupted quietly. "You love her more."

"That's not it!"

"Then what is it?"

Alice clenched her jaw in frustration. She couldn't tell Dana the truth--that she couldn't love Dana the way she used to, would never be able to fully trust Dana romantically again, it was too much at the moment, too cruel. "I love you, Dana. I was in love with you. But I'm with Helena now, and I'm in love with her," Alice said pressing for time.

"I love you! I'm in love with you! I always loved you! I was always n love with you. I just needed to be sure! I couldn't just make a life with you, Alice! You were my first real girlfriend--ever and I… needed to experience more!" It felt like Alice had been dating both of them for such a long time now, although in reality, it was only for a little over a month, and during that period, time felt like it passed so slowly for Dana. And she waited for a time when she could have Alice for herself, and when it was happening, it felt like an eternity waiting for Alice to make a choice. But now that Alice made her choice, it just felt like it was all happening so fast and Dana had no idea what it all happened.

"I know," Alice said quietly. "I respected that. It made sense, you know? Of course you needed to experience more."

"You said you understood!"

"I did understand," Alice said quietly.

"But you moved on!" Of course, Dana knew that already. Knew a part of Alice had already moved onto Helena long before they even got together, that a part of Alice belonged to Helena, but Dana genuinely believed a part of Alice belonged to her as well, and she'd hoped it would be enough to keep Alice with her. Evidently, it wasn't and it was killing her to know it.

"I'm so sorry," Alice said softly. "If I could make things better, I would--"

"You can! You can get back together with me!"

"I can't do that to Helena," Alice said, "she's like me," Alice said earnestly. "I can't hurt her, because she's so like me, Dana. I know what it would do to her. She's been hurt so much and I love her too much to just hurt her like everyone else. I could never do that to her. I won't. I'm so sorry it happened like this, Dana. If I could make you hate me, I would because I never wanted you to get hurt. But I love Helena, Dana. I want to spend the rest of my life with her."

"You used to tell me you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me," Dana whispered.

"And I did," Alice said, "until you told me you didn't want to spend your life with me."

"That's not what I said! I said I wasn't sure--"

"Dane," Alice interrupted gently. "I know. I understood, okay? But the thing is, after you told me that, I had to move on. And Helena and I…it just sort of happened, you know that. I didn't mean for it to happen. You know I didn't mean for it to happen. And you know me, Dana. I stay in love until the other person falls out of love with me."

"I haven't fallen out of love with you," Dana whispered, her tone pleading.

"I'm so sorry," Alice said.

"I need you more!" Dana cried.

That gave Alice pause. "What?" she asked quietly, her voice gentle.

"I need you more than she does," Dana said desperately. "You're the only person other than my family that I've ever loved. You're the only person I can love. No one gets me the way you do. Al, I need you more than she does! She has her kids and--"

"Dana," Alice whispered. "Don't, please. I can't. I just…I can't. I love her too much, Dana. I need her. Okay? It hurts me to be without her. Please," Alice pleaded. "Please just drop this," Alice begged. She hated that it turned out this way. She wished Dana had fallen in love with someone else because it would have made things so much easier, so much better. She hated hurting Dana. The last thing she wanted to do was to hurt Dana. But she couldn't hurt Helena. She couldn't leave Helena--and more importantly, she didn't want to. In Alice's mind, she'd found her Forever Girl, and as long as Helena would have her, Alice knew her heart would remain with Helena. There was a piece of her heart that belonged to Dana, of course, but the truth was, Alice had stopped looking at Dana romantically for a long time now--it just took her a long time to come to grips with hit. But now she knew she had to let Dana go.

"I could never hate you," Dana muttered, as she wiped at her eyes. She paused for a moment before she spoke again, her tone serious and earnest. "If it doesn't work out with her, we can always get back together, Al."

Alice smiled sadly at her. It almost destroyed her, to hear that. To hear that Dana would take her back if she and Helena ever broke up. Of all the things Dana could say, that was the one thing Alice didn't want to hear. Dana deserved better than that. "Oh Dana."

"I was a fucking idiot, wasn't I?"

"Dana--"

"I never should have let you go."

"Dana--"

"I knew you were the one for me," Dana muttered, clenching her teeth to prevent herself from losing control. "But I didn't trust myself and now--"

"Dana, stop," Alice said, interrupting Dana's rant. She touched Dana's cheek, gently. "You know, Helena is about as experienced as you are, romantically," Alice said softly.

Dana snorted.

"Hey," Alice said. "She is, okay? She was like, nineteen, when she got with her ex, and Helena married her when she was twenty-two. They stayed together for a really long time, Dane. Helena didn't have a lot of experience either. But she knew, you know?" Alice said with a happy grin as she tilted to head to the side. "She knew I was the one for her," Alice said, smiling as she thought of her girlfriend, not realizing how her words made Dana flinch. "You were right to doubt," Alice said quietly. "I think when you meet someone right, you don't really have doubts. Or if you do, you don't care that you have doubts."

"Did you have doubts about me?" Dana challenged.

"No," Alice said immediately. "I didn't. I would have been happy to spend the rest of my life with you, Dana. You made me really happy. But just because you were right for me doesn't mean I was right for you, and that's okay."

"That doesn't even make sense!" Dana said. "If I'm right for you, then you're right for me! Alice, I love you," Dana begged. "How can you just throw away everything we have?"

"I don't want to," Alice said. "I don't want to throw away everything we have. You're one of my best friends and if you ever need me, I'll be there for you. I'll always love you, and you'll always be my first, Dane," Alice said sincerely, taking Dana's hand and placing it over her heart. "You were my first, Dana," Alice said softly. "And that's really important. I'll always hold onto what we had, but we need to let it go, Dana."

"I don't want to let it go," Dana said softly. "I don't think I can."

Alice's lower lip trembled. She knew this would be difficult, but why did it have to hurt on top of it? "Dana, I'm sorry," Alice whispered, she had nothing left to say other than that. Because while she was ultimately happy with the way things turned out for her--happy Helena's mother was so unrelentingly harsh with Helena that Alice couldn't just sit and watch that day in July, happy Dana broke up with her which resulted in she and Helena striking up a friendship--so very happy to have fallen in love with Helena and to have Helena fall in love with her.

But she was so sorry it turned out this way for Dana, and Alice didn't know how she could possibly make it better when she was the one who made it hurt.

-------

Since Bette has met Dana, she's always had a special fondness for the tennis player. Maybe it was because Dana was so unlike her--a little shy, a little timid, endearingly awkward at times and completely sincere. There was nothing mean or false or sneaky about Dana. What you see is what you get with Dana, and though Dana may not be the type of person to wear her heart on her sleeve, nor does she expend any effort in trying to deceive you. Bette could admit she had a mean streak, and though she believed herself to be sincere, Bette knew she could be sneaky to get what she wanted. Dana wasn't like that at all, and it was for that reason, Bette has always felt more protective of Dana than their other friends.

And it just infuriated her to see Alice and Helena so obviously happy when she knew Dana was miserable, that Dana was wallowing in misery for two weeks, barely doing anything more than keeping with her training schedule. Dana was miserable, and though Bette hated it when any of her friends were upset, it just seemed to her especially unfair when Dana was upset, maybe because out of all her friends, Dana always seemed like the youngest, even if she wasn't and so Bette has always wanted to protect her, baby her, almost. And she knew how Dana felt, to lose someone she loved to Helena Peabody and she hated that Dana whom she always thought of like the baby sister she never had was hurt because Alice dumped her for Helena Peabody. She knew what that felt like, and she could not believe Alice was so blind.

She was trying to bite her tongue, because she was sure eventually Alice would wise up and Dana and Alice could get back together, just like she and Tina had done. And though things were far from perfect, Bette was relieved she and Tina were at least living together again, they were working on things, and for now, it would have to be enough. So she did believe Alice and Dana would get together again and Helena would be nothing more than a bad memory, but Tina insisted Helena was likely in their lives to stay, even if Alice and Helena broke up, Tina said it was almost definite they would remain friends so Bette would need to bite her tongue.

She made a promise to Tina to keep out of it, and to make an effort to think before speaking, but that was never one of her strong suits, and seeing Helena and Alice at The Planet, lovey-dovey and giggling and making nice with Kit, her own fucking sister, for Chrissakes', Bette couldn't help herself. She walked over to them, ignoring the warning looks from Kit and Alice and gave Helena a piece of her mind, railing at the British woman for stealing the love and affection of yet another person from someone who actually loved the person. And then she yelled at Alice for hurting Dana, for being happy when Dana was miserable and for being stupid enough to believe Helena Peabody could ever be capable of loving her.

Helena stared at Bette in shock, and for a moment, Bette took some pleasure in the way Helena's face fell and she simply stared at her. Alice stared at her as well, thinking of Dana and wishing things could have been differently. Then Alice scowled at Bette, wrapping her arm protectively around Helena's waist and shoved her index finger in Bette's face. "Fuck. You." Alice snapped.

Bette opened her mouth, outraged, ready to hurl some ill thought out words, but then Kit took Bette by the arm and dragged her away to her office, leaving Helena and Alice behind.

Helena smiled sadly at Alice. "I'm sorry our relationship is causing you such turmoil with your friends," she said softly.

Alice shrugged. "They're going to have to learn to cope." She wasn't trying to be dismissive--she was sort of glad their friends were rallying around Dana, because Alice remembered how much she valued Helena's friendship when she and Dana had broken up. Dana needed her friends and Alice was glad they were supporting Dana in a way that she simply would not let their friends be supportive of her when she was dealing with their break-up so many months before. And even if she'd let them, they tried to comfort her in the wrong way, by trying to make her forget about Dana and let things go. Plus, they'd all been too busy with their own lives at the time anyway, so they weren't exactly available to her. They were more available for Dana, and they treated Dana differently than they treated her--they weren't trying to make Dana forget about things, they were taking care of her, and Alice was glad they were. Because that was what Dana needed right now.

So, Alice didn't want to be dismissive or cavalier, but the bottom line was: no matter who she would have chosen--Helena or Dana, her friends would have to accept Helena as part of her life. That was just the way it was, and they would just have to learn to deal with it. They were close friends, so Alice had no doubts they would come around, even Bette. She generally followed along with what her friends said and did, so when she had her mind set on something, it was set. She wasn't going to budge on this issue, which meant her friends would have to.

Helena smiled, relieved Alice wasn't terribly upset by what Bette said. It did bother Helena people were dismissive of her relationship with Alice or insinuated, or in Bette's case, explicitly stated she'd stolen Alice away from Dana. But in all honesty, it'd bothered her more when Dana said the same thing. Once she got over her initial reaction to what Bette said--which hurt, Helena could be honest, she realized she never particularly cared what Bette Porter thought and she wasn't about to start now.

She wished she and Bette could get along better, but only for Alice's sake because she never liked Bette. From the moment Bette stepped into her office, ill-prepared for their meeting, acting as though funding for the arts should supercede the immediate needs of people who couldn't get basic needs met, Helena knew she and Bette had very different agendas in life.

And she still disapproved of the way Bette lied about she and her "partner" trying to start a family in a transparent bid to curry her favor. At the time, Bette and Tina weren't even together and Bette was so out of the loop, she hadn't even known Tina was pregnant. The "my partner and I are trying to start a family" was a lie Bette spewed because she must have thought it would make her look good and thus ensure CAC funding. But it was just the type of thing Helena hated--trying to use family, or the idea of family to manipulate someone. Helena herself has manipulated people out of their money-- it was called fundraising, but she never brought her family or someone's else family into it. Because of that incident, Helena has never particularly respected Bette because her children have always been so important to her and having lost a child, albeit before he was born, Helena can not abide people who would lie about such a thing. And she knew, after the fact Tina and Bette had lost a child, too, so Helena found Bette's lie--perhaps just wishful thinking, but definitely said to manipulate, particularly unforgivable.

Helena could admit to a little bit of similarity in their personalities, though she loathed to admit it and would always deny it out loud if she were asked out of basic principle. But barring the importance of their families and loved ones, Helena knew what Bette held to be important and what she held to be important were very different. So for Helena, Bette's words meant very little. Now that Helena wasn't somewhat jealous of Bette because of Tina, Bette barely registered on her radar. The only reason Bette ever had was because of Tina and now that Tina wasn't important to her for any other reason than her connection to Alice, Bette was just a blip.

And though what Bette said was a crock of shit and she should have exercised a little self-control, Helena could tell Bette's spiel was more on Dana's behalf than out of genuine spite for her. She could understand Bette's desire to be loyal to Dana and anger toward the person Bette thought was responsible for Dana being upset and hurt, and it was certainly easier to blame her than it was Alice. And Helena felt it was better for Bette to be angry at her, rather than Alice. Helena didn't care for Bette and doubted she would ever be able to do anything than barely tolerate her, but she did admire the loyalty Bette was showing for Dana, and more importantly, she could understand it. When Dana broke up with Alice to date Lara and then various other women, Helena disliked Dana, Lara and those other women Dana dated purely on principle, out of a sense of loyalty to Alice. She supposed it was normal and so she didn't mind so much that Bette lashed out at her, even if the content of her diatribe was a little hurtful. But it always hurt to hear her relationship with Alice--the most important relationship in her life after the relationship with her children, diminished and denigrated.

Still, she couldn't help but feel a badly their relationship was causing Alice so much grief with her friends. She never had a real friend--she had people she called 'friends,' of course, but that was in name only. Alice was her only real friend and she didn't share with her so-called 'friends' what Alice shared with her friends. For Alice's sake, Helena wanted the blonde to hold onto those friendships, because they were important to the journalist. It was difficult for Helena to know that it was Alice's relationship with her that was causing so much turmoil.

The day after the returned from New York, two weeks ago, she received a very irate phone call from Tina. For a moment, Helena was utterly lost about the purpose of the phone call, she'd been taking a nap and her mind was foggy from sleep and medication. Tina wasn't yelling, exactly, but she went off on a long-winded rant about something or another, ending with 'you started it by saying I was having a hormonal fit.' Tina spoke at a faster pace than her usual abnormally slow drawl. It was still slow by average person standards, but fast by Tina standards and consequently, Helena found it sort of hard to follow in her bleary condition. It took Helena a moment to realize Tina was referring to that night at Tina's former apartment and Helena had no idea why Tina would bring up something so unpleasant, considering there was no reason to dredge it up or why Tina would be calling her so many months after they broke up just to bring it up.

"How could you have told Alice about that?" Tina then demanded.

The question took Helena aback. "Pardon?" she asked, utterly confused. And then she remembered she had, in fact, told Alice about it when it came out in a long, uncontrollable babble. She didn't even know what she was saying that night in the hotel's bathroom, it all just came out, purged from her. And she realized it was such a relief to have told Alice.

She made some excuse to Tina and hung up, because Tina was no longer particularly interesting to her and she felt she didn't have to justify anything to Tina about what she told Alice--Alice was her girlfriend, after all, even if Helena probably never would have told Alice about it in an ordinary circumstance. She was still a little embarrassed Alice had to take care of her, but she didn't really regret telling Alice anything.

When Alice came over that night to cook dinner because Helena was still under the weather, Helena asked her about it, asking exactly what the reporter had said to Tina. There was still time before Alice had to start cooking, so she'd crawled into bed with Helena to keep the British woman company for a few minutes and to catch up on the events of the day.

Alice blushed at first and appeared irritated Tina called Helena at all. "I just asked her what the fuck she was thinking when she said that to you," Alice said grumpily. "It was out of line."

Helena ducked her head. "I shared some of the blame in that."

Alice looked wryly at her. "So she told me," Alice said dryly. "Something about a hormonal fit? What did she do to make you say that?" Alice asked, because she knew there would be a reason.

Helena winced and looked away. "It was nothing," she murmured, shifting

Alice bit the inside of her cheek. "Yeah, that's what Tina said, too, but I don't think it was nothing," Alice said. It's not that she wanted to stir things up, she was a firm believer in letting things go, but she couldn't let this particular thing go. It bothered her too much. It was just that she felt Helena had a few grievances that had to be addressed. "She said you apologized for the hormonal fit thing, so did she apologize for what she said to you? And whatever it is she did to make you say that hormonal fit thing in the first place?"

Helena ducked her head. "Darling," she began, shifting in the bed, a little uncomfortable.

"Yeah, that's what she did, too," Alice said.

She only went to see Tina to demand why Tina would say such a thing to Helena. It was cruel and mean, and very un-Tina-like, so it took Alice by surprise. She had a tendency to put her friends on pedestals because while she knew their faults, she tended to ignore them because she truly adored her friends. It was such an awful thing to say to someone, and Alice thought it was particularly awful to say it to someone like Helena who was so tender-hearted. She just wanted to know why Tina said something like that, because initially, she did think it had to do with pregnancy hormones. But the more she talked about it with Tina, the more Alice thought there was more to it than that. If Tina had said something like that to Bette, there was no way she could have gotten a simple pass without even apologizing. But since it was Helena, clearly, Tina thought she didn't even have to apologize and that rankled.

She was so infuriated Tina acted like it was nothing and was evasive about it, and Helena was pretending like it was nothing, but it so obviously was. Something happened and clearly, it'd upset Helena deeply whereas Tina barely cared except for the fact Alice found out about it. She was so angry about that, but she tried to keep calm, lest Helena think she was angry with her rather than with Tina. Alice took Helena's hand. "Please tell me what she did."

Helena appeared wary. "It's not important, darling. Tina was pregnant and the hormones--"

"I don't give a fuck about her fucking hormones," Alice said, raising her voice slightly, unable to help herself. She bit her lip, and smiled reassuringly, not waning to scare Helena off, but she could feel herself becoming increasingly agitated. She didn't like Tina's sheepish behavior or the way she tried to avoid answering her questions straight-forwardly. And the more she talked to Tina, the angrier she got. Since Tina said those things to Helena, clearly, Tina thought she didn't have to apologize and that made Alice so angry, especially considering Bette was infinitely more impulsive than Helena and would have carelessly uttered such a remark, whereas Helena was much more thoughtful about what she said. If Helena said such a thing, it meant she was pushed into it. Because Helena was thoughtful and careful and chose her words wisely. If Tina said those things to Bette, she would have apologized, so why not to Helena? No, the more Alice thought about it, the more she thought the entire situation was fishy, and the more disillusioned she became about Tina as a person. Tina barely told her anything about what happened--she'd been so fucking evasive about it and that just made Alice even more suspicious. She had to know the truth, because Helena carried Tina's words with her, and also because she had to know why Tina was knocked off her pedestal. Tina was always so good to her and Alice hated that she had to see Tina in this new way. "What did she do to you?"

Helena looked away. "She didn't do anything, really," she said carefully. "Tina and I had dinner plans to go to the Ivy that night," Helena said softly, missing the way Alice narrowed her eyes slightly at that. "She wasn't ready…she wanted to stay in. I suggested we go back to my house and she took that poorly, I suppose," Helena said diplomatically. "She seemed…out of sorts," Helena said, wanting to be very careful about what she said.

"Okay," Alice said softly, squeezing Helena's knee encouragingly.

"That is the sum of what happened," Helena said evasively, feeling uncomfortable with the conversation and anxious from the memory of it. Every time she thought about it, she felt trapped and caged and being forced into the discussion was adding to that feeling.

Alice bit her lip. "I want to know what happened. I'm not just going to forget about this, Helena. If she did something to you, I think I should know about it."

Helena winced. "She was a bit…aggressive."

Alice's face fell. "Oh," she said softly. That was exactly what she feared.

"I don't like…" Helena rubbed her face, "rather, I prefer not…" Helena stammered and faltered. "I don't enjoy that type of aggression," Helena finally admitted quietly. "Winnie was always a bit…aggressive and I didn't always enjoy that," Helena confessed softly, her eyes downcast. Helena swallowed hard. "Winnie never cared," Helena smiled ruefully. "It's obvious why now."

"Oh, baby," Alice said softly, cupping the sides of Helena's face and leaning forward to kiss Helena on the forehead. Certain things about Helena began to make sense for her at that moment and she was so very relieved she'd always tried to be gentle with Helena--she'd always just sensed that was what Helena needed and she was relieved she was right about that.

"So I was a bit…put off by Tina's actions that night. I told her I didn't like it. It escalated and then she told me she believed I couldn't enjoy sex unless I..." Helena trailed off, unable to continue. Helena shrugged weakly. "But I can!" Helena said suddenly, her expression anxious as she grabbed Alice's hand. "I can." Helena repeated, as if to convince Alice of that fact.

Alice squeezed Helena's fingers lightly. "I know you can," she said softly, though she felt the urge to punch someone. "You don't have to tell me," Alice said softly, brushing her lips across Helena's. "I already know," she said quietly. She brushed her hand across Helena's face. "Tell me the truth," she said softly. "Did Tina force you to--"

"No!" Helena cried, horrified. "No, she was only a little aggressive."

Alice released a shaky breath of relief. She, too, was horrified, but she had to ask. Nothing seemed out of the realm of possibility anymore. She'd always been wary of Bette, but she never had that with Tina. Bette was a good friend, unless you dated her, and then she was an asshole to you. So a part of her has always been wary of Bette who was nowhere near as good a friend to her as Tina was. She'd always trusted Tina as a friend implicitly, and even after she found out certain things about Tina's reaction to Bette's infidelity the night of Provocations, it still wasn't enough to make her see Tina in a whole new light. But this thing…it was making her look at Tina completely differently. Even if Tina hadn't done it to Helena she would still be horrified Tina had done it at all. She wanted to cry from her disillusionment, even if she knew she'd always just held Tina up as an unrealistic portrait of perfection. It was sort of stupid, and Alice knew it. But a part of the reason why she always built Tina up so high in her mind was because she always thought Tina would make a really great mother, and that was an attractive quality to her. "Okay," she said, softly, kissing Helena's forehead. She was so relieved to hear Tina didn't try to force anything. She couldn't imagine what she would do if Tina had. "Helena," she said hesitantly. "Is that true? She didn't force you? Would you tell me if she had?"

Helena looked away. "I wouldn't lie to you."

"I know," Alice said softly.

"She didn't force anything. She was aggressive, yes." Helena paused, clearly uneasy with the conversation. "She wanted to go further than I was willing to at the time," Helena said with a shrug. "But she didn't force me into anything."

"But she tried," Alice said, her voice a little faint.

Helena hesitated. "A bit," she admitted. "She was demanding…but really, it was not quite as bad as you're thinking."

"But you were scared," Alice said quietly, saying this more than asking this, because she knew Helena well enough to know Helena had been scared by the way she was relating the story.

Helena looked down. "Yes."

Alice bit her lip. "Oh," she said sadly. She was so fucking disappointed in Tina for not at least apologizing, because she felt if Tina had at least apologized, Helena wouldn't still be feeling as bad about it now. "Helena, if I weren't making you tell me about this, would you have ever told me about it on your own?"

Helena looked away again. "I think I did, don't you think?" she asked lightly. "At the hotel?"

"That was different and you know it," Alice said. "If I didn't find out about it, would you have ever told me about this?"

Helena was silent for a long moment and then sighed. "No," she admitted.

Alice nodded sadly. "I thought so." It made her sad to hear it, though she already knew.

"It's not that I don't want to," Helena said softly.

"I know," Alice said quietly, gazing at Helena, curling a lock of Helena's hair around her index finger. "That stuff is hard to talk about. I know. It is for me, too." She supposed if she were in Helena's position, she wouldn't have said anything either.

"I know," Helena whispered. She felt she and Alice were so similar in that way, they understood each other better because of it. No one had ever cared about her to push her this way, but Alice also knew when not to push her, and Helena appreciated having someone who knew her that way for the first time in her life.

Alice smiled and pulled Helena to her, hugging her close. "We'll just have to work on it."

Helena grinned. "Yes."

Alice sighed, trying to let go of her anger and irritation at Tina. "You know what? Fuck Tina and what she said. I don't want you to think about what she said anymore because it's not fucking true." She knew, of course, Helena would think about it, because Helena held onto that kind of thing and internalized it. But she wanted to erase any thoughts Helena might have had of her thinking what Tina said was true. It felt terrible to about it and to know Helena was likely under-reporting what happened. And Alice was furious Tina never apologized for that night, pregnancy was not an excuse to not at least apologize for one's actions, and Tina should have apologized. It bothered Alice to know how shitty one of her friends treated someone she dated and of course, Alice was especially bothered because that person was Helena.

She also knew for a fact that on the night Helena and Tina were supposed to go to the Ivy, Tina had fucked Bette just a few hours before. She knew this because Tina told her so in glib tones, mentioned that she and Bette had sex, Bette went home, Helena dropped in to take her to the Ivy, but Tina didn't feel up to it, so they simply went another night. There was no mention of Tina crowding Helena or being sexually aggressive. No wonder Helena was so wary of Tina now. And she felt so badly she, too, had been glib about Tina basically confessing she'd cheated on Helena. But at the time, Alice had been rooting for Tina and Bette to get back together and she'd been suspicious of Helena. She wished she would have said something though, because even at the time, Alice thought it was all a little fucked up.

Alice confronted Tina, their relationship became somewhat strained and Alice felt terribly about that, because Tina was, after all, one of her best friends. But Alice just couldn't bring herself to forgive Tina for what she did because she asked Tina to apologize and Tina hadn't. Helena clearly had forgiven Tina for it, but Alice wasn't as willing. She knew if the situations would have been reversed, Helena would have been crucified, and she hated the double standard. Hell, even if Tina had done it to Bette who at that point had cheated on Tina and betrayed her trust while Helena did nothing more than be sweet to Tina and make her feel attractive and wanted, Tina would have probably apologized for it. Or at least felt guilty. Alice knew Tina felt enormously guilty for slapping Bette the night of Provocations. But Tina felt no remorse for what she did to Helena--just a little bit of embarrassment for being found out and Alice resented it.

And so their friendship became somewhat cool and strained because of it.

And now Alice's friendship with Bette was even more strained than usual because of what the unemployed former art director said to Helena.

Helena felt terribly Alice's friendships seemed to be suffering even as their relationship only became deeper. Alice seemed to be blasé about it, but Helena knew it bothered the blonde, despite Alice pretending she didn't care much.

"They're just going to have to deal with it," Alice remarked in an attempt to be flippant. It was partly true--Alice was planning on spending the rest of her life with Helena and she was not about to divide up her time between Helena and her friends. She and Helena were a package deal-- they weren't a single entity, of course. It's not like they merged into one person the way Alice felt Bette and Tina sometimes did. She was just unwilling to keep Helena separate from her life. Helena was a part of her life, her girlfriend and best friend-- that would mean everyone else would just have to accept and deal with Helena's presence in her life. It was non-negotiable, and she had so few non-negotiables as she was usually amenable to anything her friends wanted. But not this time. Acceptance of Helena was non-negotiable and she thought her friends could at least grant her that after so many years of friendship. She's not demanding anyone like Helena, they just had to accept Helena was in her life to stay and be polite to her. But they weren't accepting and ss a consequence, she was blasé about the tensions with them. They could accept or not accept, but she would still be with Helena.

--------

"I must have them on my show," Alice whispered to Helena, pointing at Melanie and Alex, the Sephora Barbies, who were currently arguing outside Here Lounge. It was a weekly occurrence, but strangely fascinating. Alice thought it should have become routinized, but even the valets from the parking lot across the street, who've seen Melanie and Alex argue about the same old things were watching with rapt attention.

Helena grinned at her. "What would they talk about?"

Alice shrugged. "Who cares? I just want them to fight on the air," she said with a laugh. She really did find them to be incredibly amusing. She has seen them fight for years, and there was something so strangely endearing about it. Couples fighting normally put her off, but this wasn't the Bette and Tina type of fighting where it made her feel uncomfortable and worried they would just fight and never really resolve anything--when Melanie and Alex fought, it was comedy. And she had less of an emotional attachment to Melanie and Alex's relationship than she did to Bette and Tina's, so of course she would find Melanie and Alex's constant arguments entertaining. Because with Melanie and Alex, you could tell they were entertained, too.

Helena laughed with her and the two women watched as some poor woman clearly uninitiated to the ways of the Fabulous Fighting Sephora Barbies tried to intervene on Melanie's behalf.

Melanie put her arm around Alex and stared down at the other woman who was only four-foot-eight, and scowled at the woman.

The other woman drew back visibly.

"Excuse you, Thumbelina," Melanie said haughtily. "Why don't you go back to your flower and blow away and tend to sick swallows or something."

Alex looked at her wryly. "Stop reading Hans Christian Anderson to your niece over the phone."

Melanie scowled at her. "Other women would find that endearing, but oh, no, you're Alexandra Anheier, and you have no soul, because you're dead inside and German."

Thumbelina took that opportunity to back away and discreetly walk back to her friends.

Alex's eyes widened in outrage. "I'm dead inside?" she repeated incredulously. "Listen, you!" Alex exclaimed, just the beginning of what was sure to be a long argument.

Alice nudged Helena's ribs and grinned when Helena turned to look at her.

Helena winked and held up three fingers.

Alice grinned and held up two.

People who happened to be standing in close proximity to the dueling pair dispersed quickly, knowing what was coming.

Helena then held up one finger and right on cue, Alex tore the lid off her cup of Coke she bought from the burger joint across the street and threw its contents on Melanie who did not appear at all surprised she was covered in Coca-Cola, but was nonetheless outraged.

Alice chuckled and shook her head, covering her eyes with her right hand in amusement. They just cracked her up, they were so insanely over-the-top, and yet, she was strangely fascinated by them--she had been for years. And she found it hilarious Helena was intimidated by them.

Somehow they always managed to talk Helena into giving them money. "I must have them on my show!" Alice declared, kissing Helena's cheek. She winked at Helena. "Give me a sec, okay?" she asked, as she walked toward Melanie and Alex who were still arguing without missing a beat despite the fact Melanie was covered in Coca-Cola and was now trying to beat Alex with the Stryofoam cup.

And that was how Melanie Harrison and Alexandra Anheier came to do a guest spot on a special edition of Alice's radio show which also featured Dr. Carrie Leap, a sexologist and couples therapy counselor; Dr. Robert Geiger, a professor of folklore specializing in urban legends and Katie Chae, who wrote, directed and starred in an independent film about five Asian American lesbian best friends whose lives are thrown into frenzied hilarity by the sudden upcoming wedding of the group's alpha slut, a bisexual woman who met her groom-to-be on an unofficial "marijuana tour" of Amsterdam.

At the moment, the Sephora Barbies were bickering once again, prompted by Dr. Geiger relating an urban legend that had been occasionally been reported as fact--a man announces he is leaving his wife, and heartbroken and devastated, the wife immediately downs a drink and takes a running leap out of a window, intending to kill herself but landing square on her husband who at that exact moment was exiting the building. The woman escaped with a few bruises, but the philanderer, who broke the fall, was killed instantly. Melanie chose to segue the conversation to focus on Alex, who apparently spends quite a bit of time with a "slutty two bit screenwriter." Dr, Leap was trying her best to ease the argument whereas Dr. Geiger mumbled to himself about other urban legends. Katie Chae took notes, laughing occasionally.

"I told you, she's doing research!" Alex yelled, irritated.

"Then why did she come into our Sephora?" Melanie demanded, glaring at Alex and giving her girlfriend a hard poke in the shoulder. "She does not shop at our Sephora."

"Oh dear God!" Alex exclaimed.

"By the way," Melanie said, leaning into the mike. "Alex and I work at the Sephora in the Highland and Hollywood complex. You can park in the main lot--we validate!"

"And our free sample this week is a fabulous Michael Kors Leg Shine in a convenient twist-up canister designed to even out any slight imperfections."

Alice laughed heartily. They plugged the store at least four times in the past half hour, and though normally she found such a thing to be irritating and self-serving, she loved that Melanie and Alex were unabashedly self-serving and not at all secretive or subtle about it.

"I can't believe I'm actually doing a radio program with the Sephora Barbies," Katie mused.

Alice laughed. "You call them that, too?"

Melanie and Alex looked at Katie and Alice with perplexed curiosity. "What?" they chorused.

"You two, the Sephora Barbies," Katie said, sharing a grin with Alice.

"Who calls us that?" Melanie asked. "And what kind of Barbie am I?"

"Everyone calls you that," Katie said.

"Even I have heard of you," Robert added with a smile.

"My girlfriend calls you Classic Barbie," Alice offered.

Melanie laughed. "Your girlfriend is really cute. Tell her to come back in sometime."

Alice grinned, "yeah, she is cute," she said, her voice full of love and affection. "You hear that, Pretty? I know you're listening," Alice crooned softly into the microphone. She could almost see the look of mock outrage on Helena's face. "I told you were cute. Even Melanie thinks so," Alice snorted. "I can't believe you thought you were very 'wanton and sexy' when really, you're cute," Alice said with genuine delight.

"Who said she was wanton and sexy?" Alex asked.

"Helena."

"Your girlfriend Helena?" Alex asked.

"British Helena?" Melanie asked.

"Yep," Alice said.

"She is pretty hot," Melanie said.

"Yeah, she is," Alex added.

"And she is sexy," Melanie said.

"Definitely," Alex agreed.

"But she's so cute," Melanie and Alex exclaimed together with a laugh.

"She does this cute eyebrow furrow thing," Melanie said, "when she comes in."

Alice laughed. Helena did that when some situation was painfully irritating.

"She's really cute," Alex agreed.

"Helena Peabody?" Robert asked, merely taking a guess, because he only knew one British woman called Helena.

Alice looked at him in surprise. "Yes," she said. "How--"

"Ah, Helena Peabody," Carrie said knowingly.

Alice's mouth opened. "How--" She shook her head and turned to Katie, looking suspicious. "Do you know my girlfriend, too?"

"Actually…" Katie said, with a grin. "I sat next to her at this dinner for aiding mine victims in Southeast Asia two years ago. We were a part of a humanitarian demining program, so yeah, I do know your girlfriend," She laughed. "I thought she was cute, too."

Alice laughed. "Did she do anything in particular?" she asked eagerly, always looking for a new Helena-related story.

Katie grinned. "One of her kids must have had a nightmare because she got a phone call kind of late. Someone was making a speech, it was about 10pm. We were sitting toward the middle of the room at the biggest table. So she looked around like she was robbing a bank and dove under the table and sang 'Itsy Bitsy Spider'. It was cute."

The booth broke into laughter.

Alice laughed, an enormous grin plastered across her face. "Hey Pretty," she murmured into the microphone. "The next time you want to tell me you're tougher than I am, I'll bring that up." Alice chuckled. "'The Itsy Bitsy Spider,' she commented with a laugh. "God." Alice laughed again and then turned to Carrie and Robert, "Professors, how do you guys know my girlfriend?"

"She donated money to my children's school's literacy program," Robert said.

"We were on a committee to stop the practice of clitorectomies a few years ago," Carrie said.

All the women in the booth contemplated this for a moment and collectively shuddered, much in the way men do when the topic of being kick in the groin emerged.

"Hey," Alex said. "If Helena calls Melanie 'Classic Barbie,' what does she call me?"

"She calls you Malibu Stacy," Alice answered.

"Haha, I'm the classy original and you're just a knock-off," Melanie said to Alex, sticking her tongue out at her girlfriend clearly trying to instigate an argument.

Alex scowled at her girlfriend and whapped Melanie's shoulder, the sound of which was carried across the microphones. "You're Classic Barbie, not classy, you slag. Classic Barbie was a slut. That's why she was improved with the Malibu and Doctor versions."

"But Helena calls you Malibu Stacy, like on The Simpsons, so you're a cheap parody of Barbie."

"Helena is cute and British," Alex said, shrugging. "I bet she just got confused. I'm the tasteful beach-attired version of Barbie. You're just the skanky version feminists like to complain about."

"Hey," Katie said, touching Alice on the shoulder. "Weren't you the one who made up the Sephora Barbie thing? I heard you call them that at Girl Bar a few years ago."

Alice blushed when Melanie and Alex turned to look at her with their disconcertingly similar stares. "I didn't--wait a minute, a few years ago?"

"You've been calling us that for years?" Melanie asked. "Alice!"

"How many years?" Alex asked, looking much more amused than Melanie.

"How many years ago was this?" Alice asked Katie, ignoring Melanie and Alex for the time being. "When did you hear me call them that?" she wondered out loud, hoping she didn't make out with Katie or something because Katie was only twenty-one now and it would have been gross if they made out a few years ago. She had gone through a slutty period a few years back though, and Alice was afraid she made out with some underage school girl.

Katie shrugged. "Like four," she said. "I used to see you at The Planet and my friend Nancy told me you went to Girl Bar so I used to sneak in to stalk you because I had a crush on you." Katie laughed at the stunned expression on Alice's face. "I wish you in the listening audience could see the expression of Alice's face right now," she said with a laugh. "Anyway. I had such a hard time stalking you, Alice," Katie went on, "because every time I went to Girl Bar, you were never there except once. How was I supposed to stalk your properly if you don't show up where I am?"

Alice laughed wryly. "I think you have the wrong definition of stalking."

Katie laughed. "Anyway, the one time you were there when I was there, Melanie and Alex were near the bathroom. You were coming out and I was going to go stand in line and you said not to go in because The Sephora Barbies were about to start a brawl."

Alice laughed. "Oh my God! I totally remember that. I looked at you and I thought, 'this girl is so totally fifteen years old,' you were so cute and you had these bangs," Alice remembered. "And I thought for sure you would get a face full of soap or something. That's why I told you not to go."

"We don't toss soap," Melanie and Alex chorused together. "It stings the eyes."

"That's very considerate of you," Robert said, not being sarcastic at all.

"Consideration is the sign of healthy relationship," Carrie agreed.

Alice was about to speak when she heard a voice through her headphones. "Alice," her engineer said, "Helena called and she said to stop talking about her on the air. She sounded embarrassed."

Alice laughed, causing everyone to look at her oddly. "I was just informed by my engineer my girlfriend called and asked we stop talking about her. We have to stop! Helena's embarrassed."

"Aw," everyone said simultaneously in disappointment.

There was a second of silence and then Katie spoke. "You know, speaking of Barbies, I used to make my Barbies make out with each other," Katie reminisced. "And I had two of the original cock-ring Kens and I made them make out, too."

"You had cock ring Ken?" Melanie, Alex and Carrie chorused in unison and then looked at one another and laughed.

"Who is cock ring Ken?" Robert asked.

Alice groaned inwardly as she realized the censors would definitely talk to her after the show was over. Apparently, 'cock' when not referring to a male rooster or used as a verb was verboten over the air and even then, it was iffy.

"Cock ring Ken!" Melanie, Alex, Carrie and Katie screeched together.

"Censors," Alice called out.

"Sorry," Melanie, Alex, Carrie, Katie and Robert said.

"So what's…uh, c-ring Ken?" Robert asked.

Carrie laughed, "C-ring Ken was released in 1993 wearing an earring and a necklace wrapped around a ring," she explained. "The ring became known as a cock ring, because it did, in fact, resemble a cock ring and as it turned out, there was another doll at the time which was anatomically correct. Ken's ring fit around that particular part of the other doll's anatomy perfectly. And so Earring Magic Ken became known by its more descriptive name."

The booth exploded into laughter.

"How old were you in 1993?" Robert asked Katie.

"Nine," Katie answered.

"Do you still have them?" Carrie asked.

"I totally do. I put them in a different configuration every few months or so," Katie answered. "While I was making my movie, they were giving each other head. It was sort of my inspiration to go for gusto. Right now, one is on top of the other in the usual position."

Everyone laughed at that as Katie demonstrated the usual position with a hand gesture.

"Hey, we're a lesbian urban legend," Alex declared, putting her arm around Melanie's shoulder. "Only we're actually real." She put her head close to the mike. "Come out to our Sephora, lesbian brethren," she declared. "In the Hollywood and Highland center."

"Right by the Renaissance hotel," Melanie chimed in. Then she shoved Alex's arm away. "I'm still mad at you."

"Why?" Alex demanded, bewildered.

"Hello! You and that skeezy screenwriter!" Melanie said huffily, turning away from Alex to turn her attention to Katie. "You're not a skeezy screenwriter," she said seductively, running her hand down Katie's arm. "What's your story?"

Katie's eyes widened in alarm. She found them fascinating but the attention was definitely unwanted because they were obviously insane. She shrank away and tried to push her chair closer to Alice for protection. "I have a girlfriend," Katie squawked in panic, hiding behind Alice and peeking at Melanie shyly with a good measure of fear mixed in. "Her name is Cassie."

Melanie looked Katie for a moment in amusement and laughed. "You're cute," she murmured. "I think I'll watch your movie when it's released." Then she turned her attention to Alex. "Why can't you be more like that?" she demanded, the scowl evident in her voice. "And not hit back on the nasty hos who hit on you." She picked up the can of Diet Coke she was given by the station.

Alice, Katie, Carrie and Robert immediately scattered.

Melanie took a sip of the Diet Coke and then set it down, looking at them oddly. "Like I'd really throw this at her around all this expensive equipment?"

"She's way too money conscious for that," Alex added. After a beat, she added, "that means she's just really really cheap."

"I am not cheap!" Melanie protested, looking as though she really did want to throw the Diet Coke at Alex now. "I'm greedy and frugal."

"You're not just frugal, you're fucking parsimonious!" Alex said.

"Oh! Parsimonious, did you pick that up from your slutty screenwriter so-called friend? And you're just jealous I'm better with money than you are."

"She's just researching! And you are not better with money than I am."

"Ha!"

"Who the fuck do you think you are? Suze Orman?"

Melanie opened her mouth to speak and then paused. "I find her oddly hot."

Alex snorted. "I know, you do."

"She is kinda hot," Katie mused. "She's older than my mom though. So that weirds me out."

"She is rather attractive," Robert said.

"Hm," Carrie said, as if contemplating this for the first time.

As everyone contemplated the attractiveness of Suze Orman, Alice decided it was time to take calls. "Hi, you're live on the air on The Chart with Melanie Harrison, Alexandra Anheier, Drs. Robert Geiger and Carrie Leap, Katie Chae and Alice Pieszecki."

"I just wanted to ask Melanie and Alexandra a question," the somewhat haughty-sounding woman stated.

"Go ahead," Alice said, the lazy smile evident in her voice.

"How does it feel to perpetuate the desires of dominant patriarchy by exhorting women into purchasing expensive cosmetics by making them feel as their natural beauty is not enough?"

Alice blinked, and groaned inwardly. Not another radical feminist.

"It feels pretty," Melanie said smugly. "We do work at Sephora, you know."

"And pays the bills," Alex added. "Women who pay their own bills don't have to answer to anyone or justify what they do for a living."

"So fuck you," Melanie said simply.

Alice glared at them. "We have a delay, so obviously that will be beeped out, but--"

"Sorry Alice," Melanie said sweetly.

"Yeah, sorry, Alice," Alex said.

"But since it was brought up," Melanie said. "Once again, Alex and I work at the Sephora in the Hollywood and Highland complex. We validate!"

Alice took another call. "Hi, you're on The Chart."

"I just want to tell the Sephora Barbies that at least my neck and my face are the same color since I don't wear all that foundation," the caller said.

"Well your entire face is probably one color, even your lips," Melanie said. "which is weird."

"And we use very good foundation," Alex said, "it blends well, and is the same color as the rest of our skin. That's the point of a good foundation. Melanie uses Vincent Longo Water Canvas Crème-to-Powder foundation--$52.50 at Sephora. I'm a Bare Escentuals Mineral foundation girl myself--$25 built in with an SPF 15 for your sun protection."

Melanie and Alex shared a grin.

Alice laughed in amusement. "I can see why my girlfriend ends up giving you two money."

"Your girlfriend is just smart," Alex said with an insouciant wink.

"She is pretty smart," Katie agreed. "I had this paper due in a couple days back then and I was telling her about it. And I felt super retarded because why the fuck would she care, right? But she totally helped me because she gave me a heads up on a bunch of books I could use for my outside sources and I totally scored an 'A' because of her." Katie grinned toothily. "Thanks, Helena, you really helped me with that paper. My parents would want to thank you, too, because they got to brag about their smart daughter to their mah-johng buddies."

Alice chuckled and then took the call on line 1, per her engineer's signal.

"Hi, you're on The Chart," Alice said.

"Hey, Alice."

"Hi Lulu!" Alice said, in surprise. "Did Helena ask you to call in?"

"No," Lulu said, "I just wanted to say Helena helps me with my homework all the time and I get A's, too." Lulu paused. "And she makes me a special breakfast when I have tests!" she crowed, sounding like a five year old bragging about a cookie.

Alice laughed and caught the signal to go to a commercial break. "You're listening to The Chart with Alice Pieszecki with my special guests, Dr. Robert Geiger, Dr. Carrie Leap, Katie Chae, Melanie Harrison and Alexandra Anheier. We'll return in a moment."

Alice looked down at the blinking lights, indicating all the lines were full and chuckled. She had a feeling it was going to be a good night.
--------------

She hadn't intended to make the show revolve around Helena. Really, she hadn't. But Helena was the person all the participants had in common, and it just sort of happened that the show ended up focusing around Helena Peabody, and then other people called in to share stories of how she made kick ass bake sale brownies and how she once got into an intense argument at her children's soccer game with the referee and was kicked out as a consequence and had to watch the rest of the game behind the chain-link fence, sitting on the hood of her car. And then apparently, someone Helena went to college with, some guy who worked with her on various projects when they were members of the same Columbia social justice organizations called in and pretty soon Alice was cajoled into calling Helena at home who was obviously listening and refused to answer the phone to engage in the madness. Then other people who knew called in to say how it was so like Helena to be too shy to get on the air and then they related more Helena-related stories. The show was supposed to revolve around famous LA urban legends, sex tips, Katie Chae's movie with the Sephora Barbies making commentary, but somehow it turned into an ode to Helena. It's not like Alice planned it, really, she didn't. It just happened that way. It's not that she did something wrong, it was just that she knew Helena would have preferred if her name never come up, since Helena liked her privacy if she wasn't trying to endorse or gain publicity for some project she was working on.

So though Alice knew she didn't really do anything wrong, she felt like she had anyway.

At the moment she was driving Helena's car on their way to the beach. Lulu thought Alice and Helena should spend the day together alone, so Lulu and her boyfriend picked the children up early that morning to take them to a carnival, though it was Saturday, and technically Lulu's day off. Helena was quiet all morning and she was silent through the car ride, which wasn't unusual--Helena wasn't the kind of person who talked just to talk and she didn't need to fill silence, so Helena was often quiet. But Helena never mentioned the radio show the night before other than to tell Alice she was proud, so Alice wondered if there was something more to it.

"Helena?" Alice finally asked, unable to take the silence any longer.

"Yes, darling?" Helena asked, turning to look at her.

"Are you mad at me about last night?"

"Pardon me?" Helena asked, sounding genuinely confused. "What was last night?"

"You know, the radio show."

"I thought you did very well," Helena said, bewildered. "Why would I be angry with you?"

"Because you called the station twice and told me to stop talking about you," Alice said, laughing a little because she could see Helena wasn't angry and she'd blown things out proportion. She supposed it was because though she was fairly confident in the relationship, it was still relatively new and she was just figuring out what was acceptable.

Helena laughed. "Darling, it's all right."

"Did I embarrass you?" Alice asked softly.

Helena grinned a little shyly. "A little," she acknowledged. "But it was all right. I was just unaccustomed to…" Helena shrugged.

Alice grinned. "Having a fan club?"

Helena laughed. "It was a good show, darling," she sad. "I enjoyed it very much. We should see Katie's movie when it's released."

Alice laughed. "Yeah, she's nice. Do you remember her?"

Helena blushed. "Only somewhat," she admitted. "I remember her voice, but I don't quite remember what she looks like. I do remember talking to her, however. She was quite young."

Alice chuckled. "Yeah. I went to high school with her older sister, actually. I knew her when she was rubbing her Barbies up against each other," Alice said with a little laugh. "Speaking of which, I went to high school around here, you know."

Helena sat up. "Did you?" she asked.

"Yeah," Alice said.

"Show me," Helena said softly.

Alice chuckled. "You want to see some ugly school with an ugly rusty fence around it?"

Helena laughed. "I want to see where you spent your time for four years."

Alice smiled. "What makes you think I spent much time there?" she asked.

Helena grinned. "Show me," she said quietly.

Alice looked at her uncertainly. "You really want to see it?" she asked. "It's not a big deal, you know. I didn't even show up that much." No one ever showed that much interest in her life, not even Dana and Alice just couldn't see why Helena would be interested to see her old high school.

"Let's see it," Helena suggested. She paused. "If it's not too difficult, that is," she added. She was aware high school was a painful time for some. For herself, it wasn't so much painful as it was lonely. She was popular and had a regular group of girls she socialized with, but she preferred to be alone rather than in their company and she often felt disconnected. She couldn't imagine Alice being unpopular, even in high school--the journalist was simply too adorable and sweet. But there were stranger things in life.

Alice grinned. "Okay," she said, "let's go."

Alice made an abrupt right turn and in ten minutes they were pulling into the parking lot of Alice's former high school. Alice parked and then ran out of the car, running around to the passenger side to open the car door for Helena to help her out. "This is the parking lot where Eric and I would hang out before class," Alice explained, with a fond smile. "We would lean against his car and smoke before the bell rang and get yelled at by the faculty and then we'd get detention. It happened any time we got to school early."

Helena laughed. "You were quite the rebel," she murmured.

Alice grinned crookedly and pointed to the fence. "I used to hop this fence sometimes, too." She took Helena's hand. "Come on," she said, tugging on Helena's hand gently. "I'll give you a tour."

Helena smiled and followed after Alice eagerly.

"That's the G building," Alice said, pointing to her left as they walked inside. "Eric had his AP Physics class there after lunch. We would make out in front of the class until he had to go inside," Alice said with a grin. She walked up to the building and stood outside it, her back to it. Helena stood next to her and Alice moved behind Helena and wrapped her arms around the British woman's waist, resting her chin on Helena's shoulder. Alice pointed to the building across from them. "That's D building. That's where I had my locker all four years." She paused. "There's where they held detention, too. I was there a lot."

Helena laughed. "How often were you there, darling?" she asked curiously.

Alice laughed wryly. "At least twice a week."

Helena chuckled fondly and kissed Alice's cheek. "You're adorable, darling."

Alice took Helena's hand and walked with her through the campus. "I used to hang out with my friends there," Alice said, pointing to a concrete column. Alice shook her head. "I can't remember what we used to talk about," she admitted with a laugh. She was back there again, walking through the halls, before school, between classes, after school, she could remember the chaos, the halls packed with students gossiping, talking, shouting, mocking and pushing into one another. She remembered hanging out with her friends against this column, and everyone in school had known it as their hang-out and everyone sort of left that area alone. Alice smiled wryly as she touched the column. "I would lean against this," she said, "like this," Alice went on, demonstrating. She grinned and grabbed Helena by the waistband of her pants and pulled Helena closer. "And Eric would stand where you're standing now," she said quietly. "And then…" Alice moved forward, cupped Helena's cheek and brought their lips together.

Helena moaned into the kiss and pushed Alice against the concrete for balance.

Alice's back slammed against the column, her fingers curling into Helena's hair as Helena sucked on her tongue.

"I used to get detention for this," Alice remarked breathlessly when Helena broke the kiss. She hugged Helena and held her close. "I wish I would have known you back then," she said wistfully. It wasn't the first time she wished she'd met Helena sooner, befriended her before Helena became wary and scared. Maybe they would have both been less lonely.

Helena grinned against Alice's shoulder. "I wish I'd known you, too," she whispered. She suspected a lot of things could have been easier.

The tour continued as Helena and Alice walked around the campus, Alice pointing out the quad where the school gathered for school functions, the auditorium, the cafeteria, various buildings and shared the stories attached to those places, finding herself confiding in things she hadn't thought about in years or told anyone about.

When they arrived at Helena's house in the early evening, the children were not yet at home and they sat down to watch television in the living room to wait for the kids and Lulu and Jake who would be coming home in time for dinner. Alice wrestled control of the remote away from Helena and the two sat down to watch Pulp Fiction which happened to be on television.

Alice grinned. "I love this part!" Alice exclaimed, jumping to her feet and pointing the screen in jubilation at the Jack Rabbit Slims Twist Contest scene.

Alice held her hand out to Helena as Chuck Berry's 'You Never Can Tell' started. Helena took Alice's hand and rose to her feet and the two began acting out the Uma Thurman/John Travolta dance to the scene. Swiveling their hips in the twist, Helena took on the role of Uma Thurman's character whereas Alice took on John Travolta's, and they began to dance, sharing a rhythm with one another. Their eyes met and they shared a smile as they continued to dance.

Even after the song ended, they continued to dance, and when they finally stopped, collapsing into each other, giggling, they realized they had an audience. Wilson and Jun Ying sat a few feet away, watching them and smiling happily.

"Babies!" Helena exclaimed, holding her arms out to them.

Jun Ying and Wilson's faces lit up with smiles and they ran to Helena leaping on her, laughing and they tickled her. Alice began to playfully ward off the attack on the notoriously ticklish woman by lightly hitting Wilson and Jun Ying with throw pillows.

The children immediately turned on her and Alice found herself laughing hysterically trying to escape the clutches of two seven-year olds. "Traitor!" Alice yelled at Helena who slipped out of the room, laughing, to get started on dinner.

Later that night, after dinner and after Reading Time with the children, Helena and Alice lay on their stomachs, side by side on the bed eating from a carton of ice cream as they watched Helena's Spanish-language soap opera to which she'd become addicted.

Helena sat up and watched with wide, shiny eyes as Enrique pulled up to the chapel in a screeching stop, running out of the car with Graciela tearfully chasing after him. Helena and Alice exchanged enormous grins and Helena clasped her hands as she watched Enrique run up the steps to the chapel and throw open its large mahogany doors. All eyes turned toward Enrique who stared at the bride and groom. The bride stared at him, wide-eyed and tearful, unconsciously taking a few steps toward him, only to be stopped be Reynaldo's hand wrapping painfully around her wrist. Alice grinned at Helena and wrapped her arm around Helena's shoulders. There was no need to translate this particular scene, she knew exactly what was going on. Enrique finally discovered Reynaldo blackmailed Sofia into marrying him by threatening to expose Enrique's secret which would destroy his life. Except it wasn't his secret at all, it was his evil twin brother, Ricardo who accidentally murdered the priest, all those years ago, back before Ricardo turned evil. Enrique pointed his finger accusingly at Reynaldo and then punched him in the face, causing the man to fly backwards, unconscious.

Enrique grabbed Sofia, kissed her long and deep and then he took her by the hand and they ran, ran past the angry groomsmen, past the wedding guests, past Graciela who worked with evil Reynaldo because she wanted Enrique for herself. Helena and Alice watched as Sofia and Enrique ran to Enrique's car and drove off, Sofia throwing off her wedding veil and hurling it behind her. The camera panned in on the veil flying from her hand and fluttering to the ground and then zoomed in on the happy couple, exchanging smiles. Enrique put his right arm around Sofia's shoulders and pulled her close. She rested her head on his chest and they drove off, presumably somewhere far away and not to his house two blocks away where he lived with his blind mother and crippled sister.

Helena and Alice cheered and clapped as the final scene played out and then looked at one another, grinning contentedly. Alice leaned into Helena and the two women lay down on the bed, kissing languidly.

"I like watching Telemundo with you," Alice said with a grin.

------

The last person Helena expected to hear from at 3pm on a typical Thursday afternoon was Dana Fairbanks. She sat through some truly tedious meetings, worked through some paper work, sat through boring conference calls during which she did nothing but say "hm" and doodle cartoon animals on multiple pads of paper. It was the usual Thursday afternoon fare. She was waiting for a call from Aisha Smith, a fellow member of the children's school's curriculum planning committee, and when her secretary announced the phone call, Helena naturally assumed it was her. "Hello, this is Helena Peabody," she greeted pleasantly.

There was a moment of silence and Helena frowned. "Hello?" she asked. "Aisha?" she asked.

"Hi…Helena."

Helena paused. The woman sounded familiar--tentative and a little unsure, but familiar nonetheless. "Hello?"

"Hi. It's Dana. Dana Fairbanks."

Helena winced and took a deep breath, readying herself for a diatribe. "Hello, Dana."

"I wanted to call Alice and see if she wanted to watch a movie tonight but I wanted to make sure it was okay with you," Dana said.

Helena blinked. "Pardon me?"

"I want to ask Alice to a movie, but I want to make sure it's okay with you," Dana repeated.

"Oh," Helena breathed. "I--" Helena trailed off. She had no idea what to say to that. "Of course it's fine with me," Helena said. "But you need not ask me for my permission. Alice makes her own decisions," she said, wondering if people saw her as being crazy controlling of Alice. She knew she came across as a bit harsh to people, but surely people didn't think she controlled Alice or made the blonde check in with her for every mundane thing?

"I know," Dana said. "But Alice is my best friend and I want us to be best friends without making you think I'm going to try to steal her away from you."

"Oh," Helena said softly, recognizing exactly why Alice loved Dana so much, and why it'd been so hard for the blonde to let Dana go. "Thank-you," she said sincerely for this first gesture of kindness she'd received from someone not named Alice Pieszecki outside her family. .

"It's for a seven pm show," Dana said. "Would you want to go?"

Helena smiled genuinely. "I can't make it," she said, declining graciously because she knew Dana offered but didn't really want her there. It was enough Dana was calling her this way, when it could not be easy for the tennis player. And she had to work late anyway. "But I know Alice is free tonight and would love to see you," she said. The past three weeks of such minimal contact with Dana clearly hurt and worried the blonde deeply and Helena knew Alice would love to see a movie with Dana because it would mean Dana was okay again, or at least, starting to be.

"Yeah?" Dana asked, sounding uncertain. She was worried that her silence over the past few weeks would incorrectly make Alice believe she no longer wanted to be friends--she wanted to be. Now that Alice was with Helena for sure, Dana saw very little hope in ever getting back together with Alice again, which would mean she would have to settle for being Alice's best friend, and she wanted that position back desperately. Maybe as Alice's best friend, only, Alice would start confiding and trusting her again, and Dana could admit she wanted those things from Alice more than she wanted Alice to choose her as a girlfriend and never really fully trust her.

"Yes," Helena said. "She would love to hear from you," she said sincerely, touched by this gesture from Dana.

"She would?" Dana asked, sounding a little insecure, though Helena could hear the grin in her voice. "It's been a while since we talked," Dana said quietly.

"I know," Helena said gently. "She would greatly enjoy it if she heard from you. She's been concerned for you."

It was true. Though Alice was somewhat blasé about the lack of acceptance of their relationship from her other friends, Alice was deeply concerned about Dana. At this point, Alice didn't care if her friends never accepted the relationship, if only Dana were okay, and with this phone call, Helena hoped Dana would be. Helena understood now why Alice loved Dana so much and forgave Dana so easily for hurting her. She wasn't sure if she could have been as gracious as Dana, if she would have called Dana this way if Alice hadn't chosen her. She appreciated the gesture because if Dana hadn't called her, she just might have suspected Dana was trying to pull Alice away. But with this phone call, Helena understood what Dana was like and she knew as disappointed as Dana surely was, she was far too straight-forward and honest to have any other motive for spending time with Alice other than to spend time with the blonde. Helena understood what Alice gave up to be with her.

"Okay," Dana said pleased, sounding more confident. "I'm going to call her now." Dana paused. "Thanks, Helena," she said quietly.

"Thank-you for calling," Helena said.

"Are you sure you don't want to come out with us?" Dana asked hesitantly.

"I'm sure," Helena murmured. "You have fun on your own. Perhaps another time."

"Yeah," Dana agreed. "Definitely another time."
Alice was with Helena now and in Dana's mind that meant she and Helena would have to get to know one another eventually. She wasn't quite ready for that yet, but it had to happen sometime. Although Alice had a terrible habit of choosing people who were wrong for her and for going into doomed relationships, Dana had a feeling it was different with Helena. Maybe it was also a little egotism, but she couldn't imagine Alice leaving her for just anyone. She knew Alice loved her, and if Alice left her for Helena, that meant there was something special about Helena. Dana wasn't quite ready to see that yet, but she knew it was there.

More importantly, Dana knew that as much as Alice loved Helena, Helena loved Alice, too and Dana thought Alice would be safe and protected with Helena. Helena treated Alice better than the other people Alice dated and in Dana's mind, that already put Helena in a class by herself. Helena was good to Alice and that was important to Dana.

Despite the fact Dana still held onto the hope Alice would come back to her, she was glad Alice wasn't the person who got hurt in all this. From the very beginning, Dana's only desire was that Alice would not be hurt again and Alice wasn't hurt. Alice was happy and a part of Dana was also happy. She wasn't selfless she could put aside her own bitterness and unhappiness to be nothing but happy for Alice, but she loved Alice enough to be glad Alice was happy.

She'd listened to Alice's radio special several nights before and though she had to turn it off before it was over because it was just too hard to hear a bunch of odes to Helena, Dana could hear the love and affection in Alice's voice as she talked about Helena. Alice was happy and Dana wanted to be happy for Alice. Before they ever tried to date, anytime Dana was happy, Alice was happy that she was happy, even when Alice herself was unhappy or stressed about something, either about someone she was seeing or work or something else. If Alice could do that for her, Dana wanted to do the same.

After all, when it came down to it, they were best friends for years, had loved each other as friends long before they were ever in love. Eventually, Dana hoped they could go back to that. It would be hard--perhaps the most difficult thing she ever had to do thus far, but she felt she could do it because ultimately, outside her family, or maybe even including her family, Alice was the most important person in the world to her. She loved Alice most and best, even when they were only friends and that wasn't something Dana was willing to relinquish. She was willing to give up Alice the Girlfriend if she could have Alice the Friend back. The one who confided in her and told her all her secrets, who laughed at her jokes and made teasing remarks. The one who used to tell her when she was worried or scared about something. Alice hadn't done that in a long time and Dana was looking for a time when they could get that back.

Dana smiled when she dialed that familiar number and heard that familiar voice pick up. "Hey," Dana drawled, trying to keep her voice light and casual, like it was any other day and not the first time in almost three weeks she'd spoken to Alice, like she hadn't avoided the blonde's calls because she just needed some time to think and stew about everything. She felt a surge of emotion and swallowed hard, pushing back the lump in her throat. "Wanna go see a movie with me at the Grove at seven?"

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