Author's Note: The pumpkin lollipop was shamelessly stolen from Dreiser's "The Laws of Attraction" wherein Alice and Dana have some fun (the non-sexual kind, though it is sexy) with candy floss.

Chapter 8

When something good happened to Dana Fairbanks, her initial instinct was to call Alice to crow about it, because Alice was the kind of person who could be genuinely happy for another person, and because Dana simply liked sharing her life with Alice. So when Dana's agent called her to announce she'd gotten the endorsement deal for Pepsi, the first person she called to share the news with was Alice--because Alice was always the first person she called when she had happy news. It had been that way for years.
Until lately.

Belatedly realizing Alice did not want to hear from her, Dana panicked when she heard the phone ringing. She didn't want to hear Alice's voicemail again. It was just another reminder the blonde was ignoring her or avoiding her, Dana wasn't sure which, but it amounted to the same thing: Alice was no longer a part of her life and Dana desperately wanted her to be. She fumbled with her phone, trying to end the call when she heard someone pick up.

"Hey, Dana."

Dana's eyes widened with surprise. Her hand tightened around the phone and she pressed the phone closer to her ear. "Al?"

"Yeah," Alice said, her voice warm, but hesitant. "Did you mean to call me or was it a mistake?" The blonde was a little confused by Dana's tone and wondered if Dana meant to call someone else. 'Maybe she meant to call Lara,' Alice thought sourly.

"You're talking to me," Dana breathed.

Alice was quiet for a long moment. "Yeah," she responded finally.

"You're talking to me again," Dana repeated, her widening grin evident in her voice.

"Yeah," Alice said softly.

"Thank-you," Dana said quietly.

"Thank-you for being patient," Alice said honestly. "For giving me space."

"I was waiting for you to call," Dana explained. "I…I didn't actually mean to call you, Al. It's just that I got an new endorsement deal and--"

"You did?" Alice asked, excitedly. "Wow, Dane. That's great. Congratulations. I'm so proud of you. What company?"

"Pepsi," Dana said quietly.

"Good job, Dana," Alice said encouragingly. "That's great."

"I was so excited, I just…I called you. Kind of habit, I guess," Dana said. She was quiet. Even though Alice answered the phone, Dana still felt a little apprehensive. "Do you mind that I called?" Dana asked shyly.

Alice paused to ponder the question. "No," she finally said. "I don't. I'm glad you called. It's been too long," Alice said with a soft sigh. "I'm sorry I let it get so long." And she was truly sorry she let so much time pass. But it just hurt so much to even think of Dana that Alice couldn't stand the prospect of even talking to the tennis player. Until now. She was still upset and hurt over the break-up, but the pain was beginning to fade, and she hoped that if she could just let herself forgive Dana, and repair their friendship, she would find some measure of peace. Maybe then, she could finally feel something for someone else. No matter how many people she dated, she still couldn't feel anything for them. The only time Alice found herself even remotely genuinely happy was around Helena and Alice didn't want to monopolize all of the British woman's time. Helena had done enough for her, and Helena was just so good to her that Alice felt like she was taking advantage of her and she didn't want to do that. She abhorred the mere thought of it. Alice figured that enough people took advantage of Helena, and she didn't want to become one of those people. She thought it was selfish of her to try and spend so much time with Helena just because she was happiest when she was around the dark-haired woman. 'I'm not exactly the most fun person to be around lately,' Alice thought wryly. Even though Alice couldn't get enough of Helena, who continually managed to surprise her with her sense of humor or sweetness or the myriad of other good qualities, Alice felt that Helena might want some space from her. So Alice tried not to make too many demands on Helena's time, even if the time she spent with Helena was one of the few times she felt anything at all lately. "I've really missed you, Dana."

"I've missed you, too," Dana said earnestly. "I'm so sorry I made it like this, Alice. I--"

"Dana," Alice said softly. "Stop apologizing for that. It's okay. I understand, okay? It's over now. Let's get back to being friends. That's what we were before all this bullshit. So let's just forget that we ever got together that way and pretend it never happened and go back to being best friends. Because I've really missed you, Dana."

Dana flinched at the thought of what she had with Alice could be considered 'bullshit.' And she didn't want to forget that it happened, and she didn't want to pretend it never happened either. She'd loved Alice--she'd loved Alice like she'd never loved another human being in her entire life. She loved Alice more than she thought she was capable of loving a person. And Dana had been in love. There was nothing she wanted to forget, except perhaps hurting the person she loved most. She cherished every memory they made together, and it hurt to hear Alice wanted to forget it all, though Dana could understand the desire. It hurt to hear Alice say all that, even as Dana rejoiced Alice wanted to be her friend again, that they were talking. Alice's silence was so loud and prominent, it almost broke her, the way it broke her heart. And now Alice was talking to her again, and still, Dana's heart felt broken. But she choked back her tears and pushed down her feelings, because she felt she had no right to feel this way when she had been the cause of the whole thing in the first place. She wanted to take it back. She wanted to tell Alice that she didn't want to forget any of it, because she was still in love with her, and they should get back together immediately. But Dana couldn't. She'd put it all into motion, and the only thing she could do now was see it through. Because when it came down to it, she still didn't know what the hell she wanted. So Dana choked down everything she wanted to say and settled on just one part of the truth. "I've really missed you, too, Alice," Dana said, her voice getting emotional. .

"Aw, Dana," Alice said softly, her voice low and comforting, "don't cry. There's no reason to cry," she said, falling into her old role of comforter. Even as much as she occasionally resented Dana, she wanted so badly to take the tennis player in her arms at that moment and hold her until she stopped crying. Even after all Dana put her through, Alice hated the thought of Dana crying, especially alone. "Please don't cry," Alice whispered helplessly. There was nothing she could do. She was here and Dana was there, and even though they were only separated by less than a mile, they might as well have been separated by an ocean. West Hollywood itself was only 1.9 square miles in size, but Alice felt as though Dana was just so very far away.

Dana sniffled and breathed in deeply, taking in large gulps of air. She hated that she'd been the one to hurt Alice, and Alice was still the one who comforted her. It didn't seem right. She grabbed a Kleenex and blew her nose. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm just…I'm really happy you're talking to me again," Dana said. And she was happy. She was so happy, it was a little overwhelming. "How have you been, Alice?" Dana asked eagerly, wanting to know everything, every detail no matter how small or insignificant. Alice had been so isolated from all of them lately that Dana couldn't even get any information from any of their friends about Alice's well-being because they had no idea either.

"I'm fine," Alice said, her voice losing just a bit of its former warmth. She wasn't fucking fine. Her moods had been so unpredictable--she felt unbearably depressed, she felt okay, she felt happy, she felt nothing. It was a constant up-and-down and the only thing that anchored her thus far was Helena. Helena was always there for her, no matter how unbalanced and unhinged Alice felt, and she was truly grateful for that, but it was too much to put on one person and Alice knew that. There was nothing consistent anymore, except, perhaps, inconsistency, and it was hard to live with. She was still far from fine--it was better of course. She felt much better than she did that hot August Saturday afternoon when Dana had shattered her heart with just a few words, but she was still far from fine. She wasn't fucking fine and she hated that Dana would ask that. Didn't Dana know her better? God. Alice clenched her jaw. She didn't want to get angry, and she didn't want to be mean. The last thing she wanted to do was to be mean to Dana, who always got that look of hurt and confusion when someone was mean to her. Alice swallowed back her anger. She didn't want it to be like this. She loved Dana and had loved Dana as a friend for a long time before she began loving Dana as a girlfriend. She wasn't going to let something as puny as her broken heart mess up a friendship she cherished. So, Alice forced herself to be civil. "How are you, Dana?" she asked, with very carefully measured calmness.

Dana's face fell. Alice was pushing her away, and Dana knew it. "I'm okay," Dana said. "Tell me everything about you though, Alice, what's been going on? Anything new?" she asked, desperate to prolong the conversation, to still be a part of Alice's life.

"Nothing much," Alice said.

Dana bit her lip. "I've been listening to you on KCRW. You sound really good," Dana said eagerly. She always listened to Alice's radio show, hoping for any hint of some personal details, but there weren't any. Alice was funny and charming, and definitely entertaining, but Dana couldn't pick up anything about Alice's mood or her life from her radio shows.

"You have?" Alice asked, clearly surprised. "Oh. Well, thanks, Dane. I've been watching your matches on television. You're doing really well. I'm proud of you, Dana."

"You've been watching my matches?" Dana asked softly.

"You know I always do."

"Yeah, but…" Dana trailed off. She didn't think Alice would still care. It was a relief to know Alice still did. "So..." Dana said, fumbling for something to say, anything to so she could hear Alice's voice for a little longer. She didn't know when she could hear Alice's voice again, and the only thing a person unfamiliar with deprivation can do to truly prepare for a famine was to consume as much as you could, when you had it.

"Anything new with you?" Alice asked quietly, sparing Dana from trying to find something to say. "Tell me more about this endorsement with Pepsi."

"It's not that big of a deal--"

"It's Pepsi, Dane. It's huge," Alice said.

"I just…I really want to know what's been going on with you," Dana said sincerely. She didn't even like Pepsi. She had to admit, she was just doing it for the money.

"Nothing's new," Alice said lightly. "I still write crappy articles for the Weekly, I still have my Chart spots and that's about it."

"They aren't crappy articles," Dana defended.

"How would you know?" Alice asked, her tone teasing. "You don't read, remember?"

"Oh, and what are you?" Dana teased back, grateful for this gesture. "The intellectual of life?"

Alice laughed, and her laughter was genuine and warm. Dana smiled and laughed as well, relieved that things seemed to be getting back to normal.

"Al?" Dana asked. "Could we meet for dinner tonight, please?"

Alice was silent, and Dana was afraid she'd asked for too much, too soon.

"I'm sorry, Dane. I sort of have plans tonight and I can't really change them."

Dana knew Alice well enough to know when the blonde was lying and when she was telling the truth, so the tennis player knew Alice wasn't just blowing her off. Alice was telling the truth--she really did have plans, Dana could tell. "Oh, what's going on tonight?" Dana asked curiously, because she did want to be a part of Alice's life, if the blonde would let her.

Alice was quiet, hesitant.

"Al?" Dana prompted, suddenly worried.

"Uh…I…I kind of…I have a date," Alice muttered.

Dana cringed and was immediately jealous, though she knew she had absolutely no right to be. She was reminded of seeing Alice several weeks before, talking to someone on the phone, and remembered that Alice was dating quite a lot--at least, if she was interpreting the snippet of conversation she'd overheard correctly. "That's really good, Al. How did you meet her?"

"Him," Alice said quietly.

"Oh," Dana said, feeling a momentary pang at the thought of Alice with a man. She didn't think she could ever compete with a man, not really. Not that she really needed to compete anyway. "Tell me more," Dana said. "What's his name? What does he do?"

"His name is Michael," Alice said softly. "He's the Executive Chef at that Din Kai Fung Restaurant, you know, that Taiwanese restaurant? It's like, ten minutes from downtown? I think we passed by there a lot, but we never tried it."

"Yeah, I know it," Dana said, feeling glum. She wasn't sure what hurt more, the fact that he's male, or that he's a chef. Alice always wanted to try the place, but they'd always been on their way to eat somewhere else, or to do something else, and they just never quite got around to it. "How did you meet him?" Dana asked.

"I went out with his sister last month, and it didn't work out between us, but she thought--" Alice trailed off. She didn't think it was appropriate to talk about all this, not with Dana. It didn't feel right. It felt mean, and she didn't want to be mean.

"It's okay," Dana said quietly. "I'm glad you're dating." She actually wasn't, but she felt like an asshole for not being okay with it. "Go on, tell me more."

Alice hesitated. "Dana," she whispered.

"Go on," Dana said, shutting her eyes.

Alice was quiet, and her turmoil was obvious to Dana. Finally, Alice spoke. "I went out with his sister last month," Alice said reluctantly, wincing. This didn't feel right. It didn't feel right to be telling Dana about all this. But now that she'd already started, she couldn't seem to stop. "It didn't work out between Gloria and I, but she thought I would be perfect for her brother. At first, I
thought, ew gross, you know? Because I'm not in that family shit. But Gloria and I are friends now, and I figured, what the hell, why not? So yeah…her brother and I are going out tonight."

"How long have you been seeing him?" Dana asked. 'I am a fucking masochist,' she thought. She didn't really want to know. While she was glad Alice was moving on, the explicit knowledge of it pained her a little. She didn't know what she expected. Maybe she thought Alice would wait around, not dating anyone until she figured it all out, so that she could go back to the blonde, if that was what she decided on. It was selfish as hell, and Dana knew it, and she hated herself for even thinking that way--but she did. She didn't want to know Alice was dating, that she was dating multiple people, that she was becoming friends with them, for Chrissakes'. Dana thought she should be doing the same thing--dating other people, not just Lara to truly figure things out, but so far, she wasn't really interested in anyone, and in all honesty, she was losing interest in Lara, too. Things were just too fucking easy between them and Dana was getting restless. Dana hated that she was setting up a double standard with Alice, even if it was only in her own mind, but she didn't really want to know the details of Alice's current dating life. But Dana wanted Alice to know that she cared, that they were friends, and this was the only way Dana could think of to prove it.

"Not too long. We went out a couple times last week, and we went out last night. We're going to the hot springs in San Luis Obispo next week, but we haven't been going out long."

"It sounds serious," Dana commented. She tried to keep her voice calm and cheerful, but she wanted to scream. It sounded like they couldn't get enough of each other. Why couldn't she find that with someone else? What if she couldn't? What if she was meant to be with Alice and Dana was just being breathtakingly stupid? The bile threatened to push past her throat. She had no right to be jealous, but she was. 'Fuck,' Dana thought.

"It's not," Alice said flatly. And it wasn't. Her first boyfriend had been sweet and good to her. He had been the perfect first boyfriend. After him, all her choices in romantic partners sort of went downhill and it was a pattern that continued throughout her adult life thus far. After she and Dana broke up, she met people or was set up with people who were actually good to her, who were good choices to date. Jeffrey, Christina, Gloria, Jack, Devvon, Richard, and finally, Michael. They were all good people--she was finally dating people who would be good for her, and she felt nothing for any of them. The irony wasn't lost on her, and she wished she could believe she could fall in love with any one of them, but she knew it wasn't going to happen. She would go on one or two dates with them, or go out for a week or two, sometimes, three, and they would show interest, and she would want to show interest, and then she would just move on. The truth was, Dana had pretty much exhausted her ability to love someone at this point, and Alice wasn't sure how she was going to get it back. She didn't want to talk about her own lamentable romantic woes anymore, so she turned the conversation to Dana. "How are you and Lara?" she asked. She didn't want to know, but she was trying to aim for some semblance of friendship, and friends shared the details of their romances. She winced, readying herself for Dana's response.

"Al," Dana said quietly. "Maybe--"

"Hey, I've been talking your ear off about Mike. And we're friends, aren't we? So how are you and Lara?"

Three sentences on the subject was hardly 'talking her ear off,' but maybe this is what their friendship had come down to. Dana clenched her jaw. "Lara and I are fine. She's…fun."

Alice waited for Dana to say something more, but the tennis player didn't.

Alice tried to ask more questions, to ask about how the sex was, what they did together, or just what did Dana mean by 'fun,' like she would have when she and Dana had been just a pair of best friends, not ex-girlfriends making awkward conversation. She wanted to tease Dana the way she used to, but she was just too tired. She didn't have the energy to do it. "Good," Alice said.

"Al," Dana began awkwardly. "It's Halloween tomorrow…"

Alice grinned. "Yes, it is," she teased.

Dana laughed softly. "Uhm, we're all going to Milk tomorrow, you know, like usual. It's been a while since we've seen you around. You should join us."

"I kind of have plans tomorrow," Alice said.

"Another date?" Dana blurted, making it sound like an accusation. Dana winced. 'Fuck,' she thought. She didn't mean for it to come out like that.

Alice ignored the tone. "No, Helena and I are going to hang out around Santa Monica Boulevard, you know, check out the costumes and the sights."

"Helena?" Dana asked. "Helena who? Helena Peabody?"

"That's the one," Alice thought, grinning happily just at the thought of her friend. "She's never been out in West Hollywood on Halloween, so I thought I'd take her around."

"Why are you hanging out with her?" Dana demanded.

"Because she's my friend," Alice said slowly, as if she were stating the obvious.

"I didn't know you were friends."

"Yeah," Alice said simply. "We are."

"But she tried to steal Tina away from Bette!"

"No," Alice said quietly. "She didn't."

"But she's such a bitch!"
"She's not," Alice said, her tone becoming sharp. "You don't know her like I do."

"But--"

"Dana," Alice interrupted gently. "She's my friend, and you don't know her like I do. If you would just get to know her, you would know that you didn't know her at all."

"Maybe you guys should just meet up with us," Dana suggested, not wanting to fight about Helena Peabody. She had no idea when Alice and Helena could have become so close. Sure, Helena was with Alice the day Dana broke up with the reporter, but Dana didn't think that actually meant anything. Now Alice and Helena were friends? Dana found herself jealous once again, and she felt the desperate need to be a part of Alice's life. She hated being out of the loop.

"Nah, we're good," Alice said. She didn't want to think about Bette and Tina's reaction to Helena's presence, and frankly, she enjoyed that most of her time with Helena was private, just the two of them. She sort of wanted to keep it that way. She was excited about her plans for Halloween with Helena and she didn't want it soured by Bette and Tina who would undoubtedly have a very strong, negative reaction to her friendship with Helena. Well, more Bette than Tina. But that was just how it always was.

"Could we have dinner or something sometime this week then?" Dana asked hopefully. Tomorrow was Monday, which meant there would be an entire week of possibilities, surely, Alice had some day free in the week. "I mean, it doesn't have to be dinner. Lunch. Coffee?"

Alice was quiet. "I don't think so, Dane."

Dana's face fell. "Alice?" she questioned, her voice soft and hesitant.

"I'm glad you called, really I am," Alice said. "It was…really good to hear from you. I liked talking to you, but…I don't know, I just don't think I could…you know, hang out with you right now."

Dana's eyes brimmed with tears. "I understand," she whispered, her voice raspy. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pressure you," Dana said tearfully.

"Oh, baby, please don't cry," Alice pleaded quietly, not even realizing she used the endearment. "You know I can't stand it when you cry," Alice said, becoming teary as well. "I know I'm being an asshole about this, I just think it would be really hard to see you right now."

"You aren't an asshole," Dana whimpered.

Alice swallowed a sob. "Could we just talk on the phone for a while without seeing each other?" she asked quietly. "I really do love you, Dana, and of course I'm going to want to see you. But for now, could we just, you know, keep it to phone contact?"

"Yes," Dana whispered, her eyes squeezing shut. "When can I call you again?" she asked, her voice hushed.

"I'll call you," Alice said.

"Promise?" Dana asked, knowing she had no right to ask anything of Alice, but she was feeling like she was getting the brush-off, and she so badly needed it not to be a brush-off.

"Yeah," Alice said, her voice heavy with emotion. "I promise." She sighed. "I need to get some work done now. Congratulations on the Pepsi deal, Dane. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, Al," Dana said, "I'm proud of you, too, for everything. I always have been."

Alice laughed softly. "Bye, Dana."

"Al?"

"Yeah?"

"I still love you," Dana whispered, tears spilling out of her eyes.

Alice paused. "I still love you, too," she said quietly. "Bye, Dana."

She hung up.

-----

Helena and Alice scanned the piles of candy in front of them, checking for any evidence of tampering to ensure their safety. Helena and Alice diligently searched for razors, needles and other sharp objects, and Wilson and Jun Ying waited, occasionally sighing with exasperation. Their mother did this every year. Alice couldn't help grin as she watched Helena frown and prod a wrapped Snickers bar, holding it up to the light and scanning every square inch of it. "Helena," Alice said, trying to keep a straight face. "You've been looking at that one for fifteen minutes." It wasn't an exaggeration either--Helena really had been looking at it for fifteen minutes.

"Well, I'm checking for tampering!"

"Are there any signs of tampering?"

"Well, no, not at first glance."

"What about fiftieth glance?" Alice teased.

"It could be poisoned!"

"It's not poisoned!" Wilson and Jun Ying cried together. "You do this every year, Mommy!" they exclaimed in unison.

Alice laughed hysterically. "Oh my God, is this what you do every year?" She looked at the kids, still in their costumes. "I'm sorry, kiddos," she said very seriously. "Your mother is insane."

Wilson and Jun Yin grinned at her.

"It could very well be poisoned," Helena protested hotly. "I was the school curriculum planning meeting last week and one of the parents told me many children died several years ago in Chicago from poisoned Halloween candy. That's right, died!"

Wilson and Jun Ying exchanged glances and rolled their eyes affectionately. Rather than frightening them, the story only highlighted their mother's intensely overprotective streak.

"I so knew you were going to do this," Alice said, grinning affectionately. She knew Helena would be this way when she arrived at Helena's house on Friday night, three days ago, for Movie Night and found Helena carefully inspecting the candy she purchased to pass out to the neighborhood children. And that candy was individually wrapped and came out of a huge factory-sealed plastic bag. If Helena took that kind of precaution with other people's children, Alice knew Helena would take extraordinary precautions with her own. She was frankly a little shocked Helena didn't take the children's candy to be scanned at the local police station.

"What?" Helena said defensively. "People tamper with Halloween candy, it's documented fact!"

Alice smiled, amused. "Did you read the email I sent you this afternoon?" she asked, reaching up to fondly tuck a lock of Helena's hair behind her ear.

Helena flushed guiltily. "I saw your email in my inbox, but I was so busy this afternoon…" They so rarely resorted to email, so Helena honestly thought it wasn't that important, especially since they talked every day on the phone. She just thought Alice would have called her if it had been truly important. But now she felt a little guilty for not checking it.

Alice grinned. "I thought maybe that was the case," she said. She grabbed her purse and pulled out several folded sheets of paper. "I knew you would do this," she said, indicating to the large stack of not-yet inspected candy. "So I did some research." She passed the papers to Helena. "Rest easy, Fancypants, even when there have been needles and things, the injuries were minor."

Helena took them and scanned over them quickly. "Be that as it may," she said stiffly. "But there's a first time for everything." She wasn't taking any chances with her children.

Alice laughed. "It looks like you kids are going to have a long wait," she said. "But I have a present for you to tide you over." Alice reached into her purse and pulled out two lunch-sized brown paper bags and handed one of each to the children.

"Cool!" they exclaimed, before they'd even opened it, which made Alice's eyes twinkle with affection. She really did adore those kids.

"What is it?" Helena asked curiously.

"You'll just have to see."

Alice and Helena watched as Wilson and Jun Ying upturned the paper bags and dumped the contents onto the carpet.

"Cool!" they exclaimed, looking at their loot, which included cookies, brownies, and candies wrapped in plastic baggies and rings in the shapes of spiders and fake fangs.

"All the food is homemade," Alice said with a grin, "so you don't have to worry."

"Can we eat it, Mommy?" Wilson asked.

"Some, not all, babies" Helena said. "You can each pick two, but that's it for tonight."

Wilson and Jun Ying rifled through their treats to select the two they would eat and immediately tore into their selections, loudly proclaiming how good it all was.

"Alice, you didn't have to do all this," Helena said, touched. "How did you ever--"

"You know how Michael is a chef?" Alice asked.

"Yes," Helena said, a little jealous. She knew it wasn't serious with any of the people Alice dated. It had come to the point where Helena thought there was no point in even remembering their names-- every week, or other week, there was someone new. Sometimes, even in the same week. She knew none of them had anything even remotely resembling what she had with Alice, but they had a part of the blonde she didn't have, and Helena was jealous of them for it. And it worried her, this dating behavior, though she knew she'd done the same immediately after Winnie left. But at heart, she was a serial monogamist. But it worried her that Alice seemed so restless and Helena wished Alice could find whatever it was she seemed to be searching for.

"Well, I asked him to give me some easy recipes so I could make some brownies, cookies and candy for the kids. But he said he would help me, so last night once his restaurant closed, we used the kitchen to make all this stuff," Alice said, pointing to the peanut butter cookies, the brownies, the caramel candies and the homemade lollipops in the shapes of jack-o-lanterns, ghosts and witches. Alice knew that if she couldn't feel something for Michael, who cheerfully forwent a real date to make batches of treats for children he didn't even know, she wouldn't be able to feel anything for anyone, at least, not at this time. He had been so sweet, Alice wished she would be in love with him, but she wasn't. She knew the situation was fairly hopeless. "I wrote it all down, so if the kids like it, I can make it again for them."

"I'll have to thank him," Helena murmured. She and Alice were going on another double date with Michael and his friend, Amy, to go to the San Luis Obispo hot springs for the coming weekend, so she would certainly have the opportunity. Alice seemed to think Amy would be the one for her, and while Helena was open to exploring the option short-term, ultimately she knew she had her heart set on Alice for the long-term. Helena looked at Alice, her eyes shiny with adoration. "Thank you," she said, her voice thick with emotion. Alice was always doing something like this, some wonderful gesture to prove how much she cared, and the blonde always passed it off as though it were nothing. But it wasn't nothing, not to Helena.

Alice slung her arm casually around Helena's shoulders. "Don't thank me yet, you haven't tried any of it." Alice grinned. "Which reminds me." She reached into her purse and pulled out a third bag. "This one's for you, 'cause you're my big kid," Alice teased.

"Again with that," Helena said. "Will you stop harping on the age difference? One year!"

"Fifteen months," Alice said. It wasn't that she really thought their age difference was a particularly vast one, she just enjoyed the way it made Helena pout when she mentioned it.

Helena crossed her arms and pouted.

"Helena," Alice cooed, drawing out the last syllable in Helena's name. She reached into the bag and pulled out a pumpkin-shaped lollipop. "Come on, try it," she said waving it in front of Helena's face. "Try it, Helena. It wants to be eaten. That's its function. If you don't eat it, it will be filled with sad. And look how cute this pumpkin is. I drew the eyes, nose and mouth on myself, you know."

Helena grinned "Did you now?" she asked, looking at Alice dotingly.

"I did," Alice said, "so stop being mad that I'm fifteen months older and wiser than you, and just try a little bit of my pumpkin. I made it just for you, you know." Alice stuck it out.

Helena reached for it, but Alice pulled it away. Helena rolled her eyes. "Alice."

Alice laughed softly, and held the treat under Helena's lips. "Go on, take a bite," she said.

Helena bit down on the treat and her eyes widened. "My God, that's--"

Alice took a bite. "Damn, that's good," she said, grinning. "I'm so pleased with myself. I rock," Alice crowed. She passed the lollipop to Helena. "Here, take another bite," she said.

Helena took it and bit into it, savoring the taste. "You will definitely have to make this again," she said, passing the sweet back to Alice.

Alice took a bite. "I totally will. At this rate, I'll replace you as the hottest Bake Sale Chick." She passed the lollipop back to Helena.

Helena raised an eyebrow. "Is that a challenge?" she asked, teasing Alice. She took a bite of the treat and casually passed it back.

Alice moved her face closer to Helena's and looked into amused blue eyes. Alice smiled with good humor. "It sure is. We should have a bake-off. I would kick your butt," she said with mock bravado. She waved the remnants of the lollipop in Helena's face and took another bite. "Here," she said softly, "take the last of it." Alice held it up and waited for Helena to take the final bite.

"Name the time and place," Helena murmured, capturing the last bite and pulling the treat away from the stick. "I'm going to kick your butt," she teased.

"In your dreams," Alice said, standing up to discard the stick into the trash can. She stopped next to the children to collect their wrappers as well and instinctively bent down and wiped at their mouths with a napkin. Then Alice walked to the trash can and disposed of everything.

Helena watched all this with adoring, fond eyes. She glanced at the clock and then turned on the television. "It's reading time after your program, babies" she said with a smile. Although it was a school night, she was letting them stay up half an hour later than usual because she thought it was worth it. She turned to Alice. "I'm sorry, I'm sure you're anxious to get out and about."

Alice shrugged. "Dude, it's still way early. And It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown is one of my favorite movies." She wrapped her arm around Helena's shoulders and brought the British woman closer to her. Alice smiled when the children crawled over to them and snuggled against them.

"Let's all move to the couch," Helena suggested, starting to get up.

"Shh," Alice said, holding her down. Alice put her index finger to Helena's lips. "It's starting."

-----

"You're rather quiet," Helena commented as she and Alice walked around Santa Monica Boulevard, arm-in-arm, enjoying the sights.

"Mmm. Sorry," Alice said, unconsciously pulling Helena a little closer as she spotted a group of men walking towards them, ogling Helena in her naughty nurse uniform. Alice gave them a dirty look, but Helena appeared to be oblivious to all of it, or maybe Helena just didn't care, Alice could never be sure because Helena was generally impervious to that kind of attention. If she didn't want it, she either didn't notice or she didn't care. Halloween in West Hollywood was conducive to slutty costumes, and it had been her idea to put Helena in the naughty nurse uniform in the first place, because she thought her friend would look hot. But then, Alice thought Helena always looked hot, even when they were just hanging out at home and Helena wasn't wearing any make-up and her hair was messy from playing the kids and her clothes were super casual. She knew, of course, that Helena would get attention wearing the costume--that had sort of been Alice's intent-- she wanted Helena to remember how attractive she truly was, but Alice didn't like the way the men had ogled her friend. It irked her, the way they stared at her as though she was some fetish object and not a human being-- though Alice knew she was over-blowing it. Halloween was just like that. But Alice thought the night was about fun, not about being a fucking pervert--unless, of course, the person you were with wanted you to be. Alice scowled at a woman who gave Helena a blatant once-over, pulling Helena away from the approaching woman. 'Not good enough for her,' Alice noted. She grinned at Helena. "Did I tell you how much I loved going trick-o-treating with you guys? Man, all that free candy. Woo. I made out like a bandit."

Helena sulked a little. "I still think you should let me check your candy before you take it home. I know you won't check it yourself," she grumped.

Alice laughed and wrapped her free arm across Helena's chest. "You're such a mom," she said fondly, shaking her head. It was disconcerting, really, to see posh Helena Peabody in a slutty nurse's uniform and hear her fretting about tampered Halloween candy in her very mom-like way. Something about the way all those things combined at the moment didn't compute. "Don't worry, I promise not to wound myself on a Killer M&M."

Helena laughed good-naturedly. Yes, she was over-protective of the people she cared about. She knew that, and she didn't really care. That was just who she was. "I'm glad to hear it," she said.

"I really did love it though," Alice said, smiling softly at Helena. "Trick-o-treating, I mean." Taking Wilson and Jun Ying trick-o-treating with Helena definitely qualified as one of her better Halloweens, even if there was no drunkenness involved. It was like having a family, and Alice had enjoyed the feeling. She had an even better time going back to Helena's house and mocking the British woman for her over-protective streak and watching It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. And when the children's reading time came, she piled with the children into Helena's bed and together, she and Helena read Superfudge to the children. She genuinely had more fun back at the house than she was having walking around in the middle of all the chaos of West Hollywood on Halloween, but then, after doing it for so many years, there was nothing really new for her. But she wanted Helena to experience it. "Are you having fun?"

"Of course," Helena grinned. Helena moved away from Alice to allow someone dressed as Elmer's glue to pass by. "It's wonderful," Helena said looking around at all the revelry. "The more creative costumes are really quite good," she said, pointing to a woman in an elaborate butterfly costume. "That one is quite lovely, isn't it?" Helena said, admiring the color and the sheer ostentatious-ness of it.

Alice grinned and pulled Helena back to her. "It is," Alice agreed. "I'm glad you're having a good time," Alice said. "It's all pretty cool, right?" she asked.

"Very," Helena agreed. She laced Alice's fingers in between her own. They walked a few more feet in companionable silence, swinging their arms together. "Would you like to tell me what's troubling you?" Helena asked gently. She could tell something was troubling Alice, despite the blonde's attempts to act as though nothing was wrong. She thought something was trouble Alice the moment the reporter stepped into the house.

Alice smiled at her. "Nothing's wrong, Helena," she said.

Helena just looked at her expectantly.

Alice rolled her eyes and sighed. "You know me too well," she said with grumpy affection.

Helena laughed. "Tell me," she commanded softly.

Alice sighed wearily. "Dana called me yesterday. We talked."

Helena froze for a moment and then found her voice. "How was it?" she asked quietly. Oh, such jealousy. It made her so very jealous to see the love in Alice's eyes, to hear the love in Alice's voice when the blonde spoke the tennis player's name, to know the kind of history Alice and Dana shared, knowing she would never be privy to it, that no matter how much she tried, no matter how much effort she put into it, Dana had nearly a decade-long head start. After all the pain Dana caused, the blonde was still in love with Dana and Helena could have choked on the jealousy she felt. She was jealous of Dana because no one had ever loved her the way Alice loved the tennis player, and more specifically, Helena was jealous of Dana because Alice loved her. If she'd been the one that Alice loved in that way, Helena would never have let it go, certainly not to explore other possibilities. She would have remained with the sure thing.

"It was okay," Alice said quietly. "It was good to hear her voice."

"Was it?" Helena asked softly, swallowing hard. There was so much she wanted to tell Alice, but she refrained. It was too soon, Alice was still in love with Dana, and she was so very tired of falling in love with people who were already in love with someone else. Alice was her friend--her closest and only friend. Alice was her friend, first and foremost, and Helena was determined not to let her own petty, piddling jealousy get in the way of a friendship she valued second only to her children. "I'm glad you can talk to her again, then."

Alice smiled sadly. "Me too," she said. "I mean, Dana and I were friends a long time before we started dating. I don't think love should ever ruin a friendship," Alice said, wrapping her arm around Helena's waist and guiding the British woman away from a rowdy group of drunken college students. "I love Dana, and that's not going to change. She was my friend first, and that's important to me." Alice grinned at Helena and pulled her closer, and held onto her a little tighter. "And I don't regret trying it with her, it was worth it. It's going to take me a while, but I still want me and Dana to be friends. Friends are very important to me," she said seriously, as she peered into Helena's eyes and smiled sincerely. "You know?"

Helena beamed at her. "Yes," she said. "I know. Now, let's walk down there and see what the commotion is about, Tinkerbell," Helena said with a smile, pointing toward a large group of rowdy people forming a circle around something, laughing hysterically.
Yes, she did know. She knew because friendship was important to her, too and she'd come to recognize that in spite of all their outward differences, she and Alice were so alike. She'd fallen in love with her best friend--her only friend. She'd never truly had a friend before, but she thought it would be worth it, to give it a go with Alice. She would just have to wait until a time when Alice was ready. It would surely be worth it.

All her life, Helena had a habit of being impetuous. When she saw something she wanted, she went for it, and most of her life, it suited her well enough. She had the money for it, after all. But those were possessions, objects. When it came to people, that same impulse which served her well in business and in accumulating possessions tended to backfire. It backfired with Winnie, though it took ten years for her to realize it, it backfired with Isabel and all the other women she pursued when she thought what she really wanted were simple flings. It backfired with Tina when she got over the desire for uncomplicated flings, and it backfired with Leigh.

She was not going to let it backfire with Alice.

She would wait, and it would be worth it, because they would be even closer. Every moment Helena spent with Alice, she felt a little closer to the blonde, and she was looking forward to the day when she could tell Alice everything that was in her heart. Maybe Alice wouldn't feel the same way, the very thought o which made her stomach clench, though her natural egotism did not allow her to consider that possibility very seriously for very long. Maybe Alice wouldn't feel the same way, but Helena would wait until a time when Alice could give it serious consideration. Because whatever happened with Alice, be it friendship or romance, she was in it for the long haul. She was always in it for the long haul, of course, but Alice was the first person who was worth it. Helena wanted Alice to be a permanent fixture in her life, in any capacity.

-----

Lara's lips were moving, and Dana knew the redhead was talking, but she wasn't listening to anything Lara was saying. "I'm sorry, what?" Dana asked, feeling guilty for being preoccupied.

Lara took her hand and leaned forward. "I said, isn't that Alice?" Lara pointed.

Dana turned around quickly, and spotted the blonde instantly. She felt a flare of jealousy when she realized Alice was obviously on a date. Given Alice's attire, there was absolutely no doubt in Dana's mind. 'She looks beautiful,' Dana thought wistfully. She thought back to the conversation she had with Alice just two days before--Alice mentioned she was dating someone called Michael, but the person Alice was on a date with was clearly not a Michael. Dana wondered how much Alice was dating if Alice would mention going out with one person one day and be on a date with someone else two days later. Of course, if Alice was doing that, Dana knew it couldn't be very serious, and a part of her was relieved. But she was still jealous.

"She looks good," Lara commented.

"Yeah, she does," Dana said softly, wishing she had her tennis racket so she could wallop the woman Alice was with upside the head. She hated the easy way the woman's hands roamed over Alice's hands and arms, the way the woman was rubbing Alice's bare calf with hers. 'Ugh,' Dana thought, frowning upon the public display, even if it was very discreet. Dana couldn't even see the woman's face, but she could tell the woman was clearly into Alice--it was in her body posture, and Dana wasn't surprised. Of course she would be into Alice. Who wouldn't be? Alice looked beautiful, and she was smiling that bright smile she always had and she was gesturing animatedly. Dana's mouth quirked into an affectionate smile when she saw Alice was making puppets with her hands and was demonstrating something for her date.

The woman threw back her head and laughed heartily, and Dana watched as the woman half-stood and leaned over to kiss Alice on the lips. 'Fucking fucker,' Dana thought grumpily. She turned away, not wanting to see any more, not wanting to see Alice kiss someone else, smile that way at anyone else. She knew the break-up was all her doing, and that she should be happy dating Lara--which she was, she was happy dating Lara, but she didn't want see Alice with someone else. That was more than a little painful.

"At least she's talking to you again," Lara said sympathetically. She wanted to get angry at Dana for staring at Alice the way she did, but in all honesty, how could she?

"Yeah," Dana said, clearly relieved.

"Don't worry," Lara said comfortingly. "You'll be friends again soon."

"Yeah," Dana said quietly. Feeling guilty for thinking of Alice on a date with Lara, Dana forced herself to listen to Lara as intently as possible for the rest of the meal. It really wasn't that hard to do--Lara was interesting enough, but the more time she spent with Lara, the more she thought it really wasn't working out the way she thought it would. Or maybe it was working out exactly the way she thought. Dana wanted to know where it would lead, and so far, it wasn't leading anywhere much. They had fun, of course, and Dana genuinely liked Lara, but she just wasn't developing any feelings of love. She had no idea what she wanted or what she was doing.

Lara and Dana were still eating when Alice and her date passed by the table, Alice's date hanging onto Alice as though she were lost in the sea and Alice was her life preserver. Dana hated her vehemently. Alice saw them before she arrived at the table, and she contemplated whether or not to stop, or just to wave as she passed by, but Dana was looking at her hopefully, and Alice sighed inwardly and stopped when they got to Dana and Lara's table. "Hi, guys," Alice said, wondering when Lara and Dana came into the restaurant. She never saw them, but she realized that while Lara and Dana had a good view of her table, a large plant had obstructed her view of their table. "This is Caroline," Alice said, introducing her very blonde, very blue-eyed date. Alice smiled at Caroline. "Caroline, this is Dana and Lara."

Caroline smiled at them and shook each of their hands. Dana's grip was a little stronger than necessary, causing Caroline to wince and Dana to feel like an asshole. But she still could not help but resent Alice's date a little. 'She looks like fucking Princess Grace,' Dana thought.

Caroline tilted her head to the side and regarded Dana thoughtfully. "You're…Dana Fairbanks, right?" she asked, recognition dawning on her.

Dana blushed and ducked her head, as she always did when someone asked her that question. It was happening to her more frequently, but she couldn't seem to get accustomed to it. "Yeah."

Caroline smiled at her. "I have a cousin in high school who thinks you're God," she said, with a gentle laugh. "She's plays on the tennis team at her school." Caroline smiled proudly. "Not to brag, but she won the Class 1-A state singles tennis title for three years in a row."

Dana nodded politely, mildly impressed with the cousin's accomplishments, "wow, that's great," she said out of courtesy. "Where does she go?"

Caroline waved her hand. "This school back in Iowa."

"Is that where you're from?" Dana asked, wishing the Grace Kelly look-alike would go back to Iowa and leave Alice alone. Her eyes fixed on the way Caroline hung onto Alice.

"Sure is," Carolina said cheerfully.

"Hmm," Dana said.

An awkward silence ensued, and the four women blinked at one another before Lara spoke.

"Dana," Lara said softly. "Why don't you sign an autograph or something for Caroline's cousin," she suggested, wanting desperately to fill the awkward silence.

"Okay," Dana agreed, reaching for her purse to see if she had any scraps of paper.

"Really?" Caroline asked. "Wow. That would be so great. She won't think I'm as big a nerd."

Alice laughed. "Why does your cousin think you're a nerd? I don't think you're a nerd." She met Caroline at a KCRW promotion, and she didn't think the woman was a nerd at all.

Caroline grinned at her. "She used to think I was cool, but you know, I came out here and--"

"Ah, yeah, the med school thing."

"Yeah. So when I was in med school, I was so tired, that every weekend I had available, I was at home, you know? She came to visit me once and she saw my entire lack of a life. So now she thinks I'm a nerd, even though I don't spend every available weekend at home anymore."

Alice smiled. "I don't think you're a nerd, Dr. Caroline."

Caroline laughed. "You're a sweetheart. I'm glad you don't, even if I kind of am."

Dana searched her purse in frustration, trying to block out their conversation. A fucking gorgeous doctor. Alice was going out with a gorgeous doctor, that was just fucking great. "I can't find anything to write on. Al, don't you have your notepad with you?"

"Oh, you're right, I do," Alice said, opening her purse and taking out a very small Garfield notepad. "I keep it with me in case I get story ideas for the Weekly or for my radio show," she explained upon seeing Caroline's curious look. Alice ripped a sheet out of the tiny notepad and passed it to Dana. "Here, Dane."

Dana took it. "What's your cousin's name?"

"Una," Caroline said.

Alice gasped. "No way!" she exclaimed, laughing. "Seriously? Your cousin's name is Una? Oh my God, that's hilarious."

Caroline, Lara and Dana all looked at her a little oddly.

"Why is it hilarious?" Caroline asked. "It's Iri--"

"Irish for 'lamb', yes, I know," Alice said, giggling at the memory of that terrible double blind date with Helena. Now she was dying to go home and call Helena so she could tell her about it. Alice laughed a little harder. "Oh man." She shook her head.

"How the hell did you know that?" Dana asked, flabbergasted.

"What's so funny?" Caroline needled.

Alice chuckled. "I'll tell you later," she said.

"Is that U-N-A?" Dana questioned, a little grumpy.

"Yes," Caroline said. "Thank-you so much."

Dana scrawled a message, signed it and passed it to Caroline, forcing a smile. Alice was with a gorgeous doctor who was into her, and Caroline was a big improvement from the people Alice dated in the past. Dana decided she would stop being selfish and be happy for Alice. It was the least she could do. "It was really nice meeting you," Dana said, trying to be sincere.

"It was nice to meet you, too," Caroline said, smiling at Dana and then at Lara. She turned to Alice. "So many perks to going out with you," she said, quietly, laughing gently. She kissed Alice on the cheek. "Free shows, autographs from sports celebrities, and you're hot. Woohoo,"

Alice laughed. "Sure," she said wryly. "Anyway, we should get going. Bye, Dana, bye Lara. I hope you enjoy dinner. Get the crème brule, it kicks ass, and I don't even like crème brule."

"Bye Alice," Lara and Dana said together.

Dana watched Alice as the blonde walked away with her date and felt her heart sink. But she made her choice, and she would just have to live with it.