Radiohead/ Willy Mason
Hummingbird Centre
Toronto
June 7 + 8, 2006

I.

People get very, very excited about Radiohead. Witness:

It’s Tuesday night, and after eight hours of nonstop menial labour changing fucking light bulbs in a downtown office building, I’m sitting at home reading a month-old copy of The Economist and doing everything I can not to pass out on the couch. The first of two Radiohead concerts is tomorrow, and I’m sort of in that curious state of having to juggle emotional jubilance with staggering physical exhaustion, but it looks at this point like the body is winning. Just as I start to feel some drool collecting at the corner of my mouth, my cell starts humming in my pocket. Thank god. I need something to do.

“Stephens!”

“Yo.”

“It’s Dave, man, listen, Ryan and I are getting together at my place tonight, we’re having a Radiohead primer party.”

“A Radiohead primer party. Umm. What does that entail?”

“Basically, man, we’re gonna get high and listen to Radiohead. How soon can you be here?”

Can’t argue with that. Half an hour later I’m sitting on Dave’s bed, plowing through a bunch of Amnesiac b-sides on my iPod, periodically contributing to (but mostly just sitting agape at) a dialogue that starts to approach schoolgirl levels of giddiness:

“Man, if they play ‘Paranoid Android’ tomorrow, man, I’m just gonna lose my shit.”

“Look, I know ‘Pyramid Song’ is awesome, but I just don’t think they could pull it off live, without all those ridiculous strings.”

“If someone yells out ‘Creep!’ I’m gonna find their seat, push through the aisle, jump off the balcony if need be and just slit their fucking throat.”

“Hey Stephens, did you get your tickets free through that dickish hipster website?”

“Honestly, guys, I don’t care what they play, I could care less if they just do the whole set running through the national anthems of former Soviet colonies, or if Jonny plays nothing but a goddamn oboe the entire night, I don’t care. It’s Radiohead, so it’s just a given that it’ll be fucking life-altering.”

All these feverish declarations, all coming from pretty cynical guys, not prone to leaping to such excitable conclusions about a show by a band they’ve never seen play before. But such is the effect of Radiohead, almost unquestionably the most influential and ubiquitous “alternative” rock band of the last decade. They can unite different types of music fans like no other modern band I can think of (one of the guys I was hanging out with was a DMB fan, the other mostly listens to free jazz, and they’re quite obviously the tie that binds between the hippies and hipsters at Bonnaroo this year), all while exploring a sonic palette so diverse and inclusive (though immediately distinct) you wonder how so many people are able to keep up so willingly.

Who am I kidding, you know all this shit anyway.

II.

I go to the first show, on Wednesday night, with Mitch, this cartoonishly friendly guy who lived on campus with me last year, and just kind of called me out of the blue a couple weeks beforehand to invite me. We aren’t even really close friends, but I like the guy an awful lot. I’d spent the ensuing time almost avoiding him, out of this ridiculous fear that I’d say something off-putting and he would just offer the ticket to someone else on a whim. Luckily, my charm pulled through, and we found ourselves sitting in a kind of stunned silence while the crowd filed in, eyeing the roadies carefully as they milled about the stage, checking our watches every 30-odd seconds, and finding ourselves at a total loss for anything to say to each other.

Finally, this creepy-sounding, digitally manipulated speech loop takes over on the speaker system, and though the house lights are still on, people leap out of their seats and start screaming themselves hoarse. The house lights shut off abruptly, and when the stage lights go on, we see Thom sitting at a piano surrounded by the rest of the band, a close-up of his face broadcast on several video screen fragments set up behind him. This is a sight familiar to anyone who’s been to a Radiohead show in the last five years: the band lurches into a sturdy version of “You and Whose Army,” complete with typical Yorkean mugging, marred only by the fact that by the time the song’s harrowing coda comes around, Thom’s piano is almost completely drowned out by the guitar.

After a mesmerizing one-two punch of Kid A semi-favourites “The National Anthem” and “Morning Bell,” the band starts into “15 Step,” the first of eight new songs they would play tonight, mostly done in pairs. Like many of these debutantes, it’s disarmingly spare, seemingly more focused on rhythm than melody. It isn’t immediate, but you can probably dance to it, and the band plays it with enough conviction that the audience eats it all up like it was “Fake Plastic Trees” or something. The next one, “Open Pick,” rides a pretty unbelievable guitar riff, using it as a pretty constant groove as this claustrophobic song gains momentum.

There’s a bit of an embarrassing moment during the next song, “Exit Music.” While Thom strums away solo at the opening verse, we hear the predictable hooting and hollering – “Thom Yorke, you’re fucking sexy!”; “You guys rock, yaarrrrrgggghhh!”; “Creeeeeeeeeep!!!” – which is bad enough, but then for every obnoxious yelp there happens to be another person there to yell “shut the fuck UP!” just to help this situation. These killjoys even choose to vent their frustration at the section of the audience that quite innocently opts to clap along, who in turn scream at their dissenters to shut up, while the rest of us cringe in horror. I suppose this would be an opportune point to go into the negative aspects of the division that exists in the personalities of Radiohead’s fanbase, and the divergent attitudes they bring to concert etiquette. But again, that’s shit you already know. Anyway, Thom just keeps on playing.

And so the band continues solidly on for another hour and a half, with a setlist that leaves a little to be desired (I don’t imagine anyone in the building came here yearning to rock out to “Dollars and Cents,” especially at the expense of so many neglected Bends and OK Computer classics), but is nevertheless barely faultable. The crowd receives all the new songs with almost shocking affection – even the more subdued ones, like the brooding mindfuck “Videotape” and the jarringly straightforward piano ballad “4 Minute Warning” (my runaway favourite of the newbies, at the moment) keep most of the audience on its feet. Even songs whose studio incarnations leave me cold (like “The Gloaming” and, I’m sorry, but “Myxomatosis”) absolutely kill on stage, and as the band closes before the encore with impeccably intense renditions of “Idioteque” and “How to Disappear Completely,” I’m so enraptured I can barely register my own existence.

Mitch, for his part, makes me look almost blasé. He spends most of the two hour set leaping up and down like a sugar-high 8-year old ADHD patient on Christmas morning, and when the band opens the encore with “Airbag,” he can’t restrain himself from hugging me. “Pyramid Song” is played, despite my buddy’s earlier reservations, and comes off quite nicely, with Jonny using the old guitar-with-bow trick with not-too-kitschy results. By the time the set closer “Everything in its Right Place” ends with a digital loop similar to the one that opened, the crowd can barely contain its reverence, and upon herding out of the lobby, I overhear several conversations with similar worshipful wackiness to the one I took part in the previous night. I also see Dave, standing alone outside, with a smile on his face, looking like he’d just had the best sex of his life. Ringing ears and all, I return home to a night of tossing and turning, and get adorably anxious worrying about whether or not they’ll play “Paranoid Android” the next night.

III.

The next night, I go alone. I’m way the fuck back in the balcony, at the very far left, but the excellence of a place like the Hummingbird Centre (a theater most often used for ballets and similar highbrow fare, as well as the occasional Dora The Explorer gig) means that I can still see and hear perfectly. Hell, I’m happier to be here on my own; while Mitch’s exuberance the previous night was kitten-cute, I’m relishing the opportunity to take it all in without any distractions, especially considering my convictions that all of the old favourites they neglected last night would almost certainly feature tonight.

My suspicions prove true: after opening fiercely with a nasty version of “The Gloaming” (replete with Thom’s awesome temper-tantrum dance moves, which I find myself unconsciously imitating by the end of the set) and equally intense newcomers “Bangers n’ Mash” and “15 Step,” the show segues into the absolutely fucking dazzling back-to-back-to-back homers of “2+2=5,”“Kid A” and “Fake Plastic Trees.” The first was explosive, and should be legally required to be played at every Radiohead concert – Thom’s crazed vocals and the band’s supernatural tightness elevate it above even the thrilling studio version, and it’s a joy to see the audience screaming like maniacs for a song so musically and thematically sinister. The second is a song I would never expect to translate well to live performance, but it ends up having the same glacial resonance as its studio counterpart, even with Thom opting against roboticizing his vocals. “Fake Plastic Trees” is practically heartwarming, the whole crowd audible in a warm and fuzzy sing-along, and breaking into a huge cheer as the drums hammer in to announce the climax, while Thom’s voice echoes angelically through the theater. I am slack-jawed.

The new songs sound even more muscular and confident than the night before, and beyond just standing and cheering politely, about half the crowd eagerly shakes their asses to the ones that invite that kind of thing. A brand new one, “Down is the New Up,” debuts tonight, and is a bit of an anomaly amongst the new songs in that it doesn’t spend too much time in the same place, working in, by my count at least, three fairly distinctive movements. “Spooks,” another newbie that was neglected the night before, is the most hysterically fun thing the band’s ever done, a minute-long surf guitar instrumental sounding a bit like the bridge from an early Pixies track played by extraterrestrials. More old favourites, like “Karma Police,”“Climbing Up the Walls” and (yes, yes, omfg yes) “Paranoid Android” are run through, with such a revelatory passion that you’d never guess they’re nearing a decade old. Perennial “expected-to-be-included-on-the-next-record” drifter “Nude” is played, for once sounding at home in this diverse but understated set of new songs. The fact that it’s featured both nights lends more than a little hope that it will finally see the light of day in the studio, even if some of us secretly wish it had been “True Love Waits” getting all this renewed attention instead.

Anyway, the encore is once again sterling, opening with “You and Whose Army” (of course he did the camera thing again, what the hell do you think), followed by “Bodysnatchers,” then satiating us salivating dogs with heroic send-ups of “Just” and “Let Down,” before returning once more to close out with “There There”. On the whole, I’m even more pleased with this second show than the first – they’d played most of the songs I was dying to hear, endeared the new ones to me even further, and, with “Kid A”, even threw out a sizeable curveball. Whereas I left last night in a huff of irrepressible, I-should-be-too-old-for-this merriment, I leave tonight with a deeply satisfied grin, similar, I imagine, to the one I saw on my friend last night.

IV.

So yes, people certainly do get very excited about Radiohead, and as you can tell, I am no exception. While it might have been nice to approach the concert and this subsequent review with some semblance of journalistic objectivity, what good would it have done really? You and every other fan of modern pop music has an opinion on Radiohead already, whatever it is, and with a band so ubiquitous and polarizing, it’s inevitably a pretty rigid one that’s not likely to be altered in any way by some rambling concert review. And seriously, how could I do it anyway? Radiohead is a looming, monolithic entity, perhaps the only truly canonized artist in rock still at the very cutting edge of their genre. What other 15 year-old band could keep 3,000 people on their feet and mesmerized through a set almost half comprised of brand new songs? Or cause people to have pre-show gatherings at their houses to listen to songs they’re probably just gonna hear the next night anyway? Or buy tickets for, like, half their annual part-time job income on e-bay? What other band’s music is so transcendent that every female I know who was in attendance insisted that their plainly hideous lead singer was a veritable stud (seriously, that kind of shocked me…)?

All there is that I can say, really, is that this is a band that sounds rejuvenated and excited to be playing together again, one whose fairly inexhaustible creative spirit seems undiminished after this extended hiatus, and one that might just feel like bringing back the rawk whenever they decide to get around to finishing up album #7. It might not be quite worth $1,500 or a kidney, but for anyone with so much as a casual appreciation for the band, these shows were hard to beat and, best of all, still left me wondering what was coming next.

Matt Stephens

CokeMachineGlow
15.06.06