When I run, somewhere at about the time when I think I have gone as far as I can, I get a second wind with which I am able to gather the strength to go even further, often twice as far as I have already gone. I get that second wind when swimming but here I am able to take myself to a different time and place, to feel as if I am not part of the world. When swimming once I reach that inner place I am truly alone and am a universe within myself.
I didn't start out as a swimmer. When I was a child I would go to the local pool in the summer to cool off and play around. I would often watch the older kids playing on the diving board and as all children, I took it as a challenge to do what they did. Once on the diving board and in the air I was taken with the feeling of flying I could achieve and worked to find ways to extend the time in the air. Once I knew how to make my body do what I wanted, to achieve more air time, I began to add elements I had seen others do and worked to perfect them. I gained an added feeling of confidence and strength once I could do all those moves I was nd even able to do some I had seen on TV, with less difficulty than I thought possible. I was proud of what I had accomplished and of my abilities. I had found something I was good at and that came relatively easily to me.
Once in high school, I was asked to join the diving team by the coach who had seen me a the local pool. I gained a feeling of belonging that here to fore I had been lacking. I had always felt somewhat like an outsider, an observer not a participator. With diving I now belonged; I was on a team and was part of a group. It would be nice to say at this point that I felt as if I really belonged and gained lifelong friends, but I didn't, I still felt somewhat of an outsider. I was now a player and at the same time an observer. I got most of my friends from outside school and the team. I was still an outsider but when in the water or the air was one with the universe. I was alone but not an outsider. I and the air or water were one. I/we were all that there was. My troubles slipped away and were inconsequential while I swam or dived.
Though I continued to dive, swim and run I didn't think about joining a competitive team again until I moved to Kansas City. I continued in those sports and even played some tennis, volleyball and softball, but never competitively. Once in KC I began to join a group of guys playing volleyball in a local park and from there met others who played competitively. Once I realized that I had played enough, practiced enough and learned enough to play against those who played competitively I decided to try it myself. I was now hooked. I was addicted. I played every chance I got. I would play all across town. I would travel to tournaments across the state and across the country. I played with gay teams, with gay/straight mixed teams and with mixed gender teams. It was here that I met a number of my friends and in particular Alma.
It was through people I met playing volleyball and those I met at a local fitness club where I swam that I met members of a local gay swim team. Once I joined them I remembered and regained the joy of competitive swimming and diving. But this time swimming was my focus. With swimming, as with volleyball I, go to meets across the state and North America. Through this team I have competed in meets from New York to Toronto. The pictures you will see were taken from two of these meets. Some are from a meet in Lawrence Kansas and others from a meet in New York. I hope you enjoy them.
Now on to the pictures. |
