| Un-welcome to the Journal of Death... |
| February 21, 2004 1:43 AM Don't ask why I'm writing this. I guess I just have nobody else to talk to but my invisible friends on my computer. I'll just have to call this my bitching page. First I need to set the ground rules for myself and "you" just in case somebody decides to read this after I've gone overboard... 1. No mentioning names if I'm going to make bad comments about them 2. Don't promise anything pessimistic 3. Anyone besides myself who reads this is not allowed to judge me Okay, I guess that'll do for now. On to the bitching, ranting, and whining. With a hint of strange. First of all, why is nobody on at this time of night? That's weak. I wrote a new poem last night but I didn't have time to scan it. Cry about it, why don't ya. I don't think I'm going to have much time to write in here for awhile because I have a term paper and 3 articles due for newspaper. "Someone" at school makes me sick to look at. She used to be my friend but now I'm totally overlooked because she found a bunch of stoners that are so much better than me. I remember back in our freshman year she was friends with this other girl that I still talk to but she's just as much ignored as I am by the "someone" these days. It annoys me how she can't see anything around her but the stoner gang and her boyfriend. And now she thinks I'm trying to take him away from her or something. Believe me, I don't want anything that "belongs" to her. I'm ignored all freakin' day, them sitting a little to the right of me at the lunch table small talking about pointless bullshit and giggling. Not that I want "them" to talk to me. I need new people but I can't do it because I'm so stuck in my past friends, like way back in nebraska. I knew I could never start all over again, making friends all over again for the 6th time. I can't do it anymore. Goodbye, children. Saturday, Feb 28, 2004: 1:58 AM Strange how everything comes together. Strange how other things just fall apart. Strange how some things just plain fall apart and come together over and over again. Things going right: I got my passport today, my brother's friend is cool, I'm doing decently in the salishian, it's 2 in the morning on an early saturday motning, a couple of people talked to me today. Things going wrong: other people didn't talk to me that I needed to talk to, like "somebody," my computer is slowly crashing. Things that fall apart and come together: people act like they're friends with me, then i get ignored for awhile, over and over again. Things I'm currently worrying about: how to figure out my life, "somebody," I got asked to prom and i'm nervous. Guess I'll go now seeing as I'm going prom dress shopping in kalispell tomorrow. so nervous. Tuesday, March 2 2004: 10:28 PM Everyone is being an ass. I feel so cold. Stupid person ignores me and says hi to my mom. oh so sweetly. The person mentioned above. another person on the internet completely ignores me and starts boohooing about her dumbass canadian perverted boyfriend she met on the internet who just broke up with her. queman en infierno, todo el mundo. I told my mom about what's been going on after it happened and she stated that "somebody" was jealous, which i knew but felt better about it after letting it out. But now...I feel like killing. Wednesday, March 3 2004: 11:05 PM Getting annoyed of all these "somebody"s yet? me too. early Sunday morning, March 14: 1:09 AM Prom is crappy. Forget about being "normal." i'd rather be anywhere but a public school event full of people. i almost cried it was so fricken lonely. What a waste of my time...Mr. anonymous who wasn't my date only told me BYE CLARISSA when it was time to go and nothing else any other time. ASS. Most of the time all I could think of was devon still owes me a dance. I so do not fit in here. I feel like i'm gonna throw up. Here's a superfun NOFX song: - People Suck - People suck! People suck! People suuuuuuuuck! They SUCK! They SUCK! Saturday, March 20, 2004: 8:48 PM Evil. I have to do a feature about the pros & cons of different pets and i don't know of anyone that has any cool pets. I only have three interviews, and none of them are kids from the high school. I don't know what to do. My mommy is putting me on zoloft. I feel weird about it. I'm hoping it does something for me, because nothing else has. I have social-anxiety disorder. Today was a nice lazy coffee-binging day. I drank three big mugs of it. Thursday, April 1, 2004: 4:55 PM Hi. I haven't written for awhile and thought that I should, even though I have nothing to say. Today my mom locked her keys in the car and my dad got extremely mad, even when that was the first time she had ever done that in her life. A couple hours later he got a parking ticket. hahahaha! I love that, it's like subliminal revenge or something. One more day 'til spring break... <<this is continued on my blog>> |
 |