Author: Meredith
Category: M/L
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Liz's secret is finally out- and Ava is the one to spill it.
Author's Note: Takes place sometime after Max returns home from New York. Title comes from the Smashing Pumpkins song, just because it's the first thing I thought of when I heard that Tess's duplicate's name was Ava.
Spoilers: Just a few minor ones from "Max in the City"- like Ava's living situation in Roswell.
Bounce.
It wouldn't stop playing in her mind. The basketball kept bouncing over and over, hitting the pavement repeatedly like the sound of a funeral march. The dream always ended at the same point- she would stretch her hand out, trying to pull him back to the safety of the sidewalk by the straps of his bag, but she'd never be able to reach far enough. Her voice was silent, her feet glued to the ground, her body was paralyzed. She watched helplessly as the truck sped without signs of stopping- about to take the life of her friend, her confidante, her leader…
…and then she woke up.
The cold sweat rolled down Ava's makeup-stained cheeks, briefly sliding over the rings on her nose and lip before taking the trip down the rest of her body. She frantically kicked her way out of the red sleeping bag rolled out on Liz Parker's floor, escaping from the heat, the sweat, the dream that plagued her once more.
She crossed the small distance to the window leading out to Liz's balcony and quietly pushed the window, taking care not to wake the girl sleeping soundly in the bed behind her. Ava collapsed into the cozy chair outside, greedily taking in the fresh night air. She turned her head slightly and spotted the small green notebook lying on the table beside her, the black pen peeking out from in between the pages. She moved her hand slowly, letting it rest on the hard cover of the journal as she remembered when she had last seen it earlier that night…
… Ava sat quiet, looking through a photo album covered with pink and purple butterflies that she'd found on one of Liz's bookshelves. It was tucked neatly in between biology and biochemistry textbooks. She chuckled and thought that this girl must be a freaking genius or something. She opened the album and gasped at the first one she came to. It was a picture of Max, their leader, Zan's duplicate. He was leaning up against a large oak tree, looking off into the distance, a smile on his face. It looked like he didn't even know that his picture was being taken. Ava smiled as she ran her finger over Max's strong jaw line, thinking about the vast differences between them, for those amazing eyes. The sound of soft crying coming from out on the balcony broke her out of reverie. Ava turned around from where she was sitting on Liz's bed, watching her as she wrote in her journal, letting warm, wet tears slide down her cheeks and hit the pages. What was making her so sad? As she looked back at the photo album, she realized that Max was in all the pictures… she recalled Lannie and Rath saying something about Liz being Max's ex-girlfriend, that she'd betrayed him somehow and that they were in a huge fight. They didn't know why. As she sat and watched Liz cry for a moment, she was amazed at how the moonlight cast a gorgeous white light on her face, illuminated her features and causing the paper she was writing on to glow. Ava was suddenly inspired… she found a pad of paper and pencil off Liz's desk and began sketching her… paying attention to every line and minute detail, capturing her enigmatic heartache with perfection…
Ava fingered the cool pages of the journal, smiling with fascination as she read some of the pages quietly to herself. The more she read, the more she was confused. Liz seemed to love Max very much. Why would she ever betray him? Was that another lie Lannie and Rath concocted to get Max to go to the summit?
"If I could take it back, I would. I wish I never knew the future… God, I know that sounds so heartless! Well, I am! The look on Max's face… it's burned in my memory forever. My heart was ripped out that night, and I don't think I can ever get it back…"
Ava's eyes moved quickly over the page, reading with interest as Liz told the story of the betrayal that changed everything. Max from the year 2014 had used the Granolith to travel back to the year 2000 to ask Liz to make his present self fall out of love with her. Apparently, her duplicate was very upset after Liz and Max got married and left Roswell forever. This made it impossible for the "Royal Four" to defeat the Skins because they needed all four of their unique gifts in order to prevail in the war on Earth. When Tess left Roswell, the Skins took over and killed Michael and Isabel. Max and Liz were the only ones left, and they would soon be dead too if he hadn't taken drastic action.
"I tried everything to get him to turn away from me. I even went so far as to tell him that I didn't want to die for him… how could I even say that? He's the only reason I'm still alive right now. Even that didn't work. The older Max still hadn't disappeared, so we knew that we didn't change the future. He ordered me to try something else. That's when I went to Kyle…"
Ava found herself mesmerized by the story as she quietly read certain passages out loud. A little voice in the back of her head was telling her it was wrong, but she couldn't stop herself from reading more. Right before Max left for New York with Tess, Lannie, and Rath, he had come to visit her.
"He gave me back the engraved pocket knife I gave him for Christmas last year. I've never felt so horrible in my life. I knew at that moment, he was giving up on me, on us…"
Ava frowned as she came to the next passage. If only Max could read this- if only she would let him! She looked back into the window and found that Liz was still sleeping soundly, so she continued to read.
"I didn't really sleep with Kyle, and if Max ever found out why I really deceived him, he'd never let me go again. I'm sure of it. But he can never know! I promised him… I can't break my promise… Max and I can never be together, never again. Everyone will die, and I refuse to have blood on my hands..."
She jumped a mile when she saw Max's head appear from over the brick ledge. "Ava?" He asked, flustered. "Wh-what did you just say?" For the first time since she'd met him, she saw the glimmer of hope in his eyes- the one that Zan had. She shut the book quickly.
"Um, n-nothing, M-Max. When did you get b-back?" She was taken in by his beauty. He was so much like Zan- so much.
"Did you read Liz's journal?" He asked with confusion.
Ava's lip quivered. "Are-are y-you going to kill me?"
Max gasped. "Of course not! What are you talking about? I just want to hear what you read again…" He felt torn. Normally, he wouldn't even think about invading Liz's privacy like that, but he knew now that she had been keeping something from him. Something major. She hadn't slept with Kyle, but why had she tried to make him believe that? His heart raced as he watched Ava open up the book again to the page she had marked, repeating the line she'd just uttered and continuing.
"Max and I can't ever be together. Tess will leave, the Skins will take over, and everyone will die. I have to stop that from happening!" Ava said quietly. He grabbed her ankles and looked at her with desperation and confusion.
"Why, Ava? How does she know this? What does it say?" He cried.
"Max! You're scaring me!"
Suddenly, another voice broke through the still night air.
"Max." Liz growled. "Let go of her!" Max dropped his hands to his sides and backed away from Ava slowly.
"Liz, I'm-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have read it." Ava said quietly, handing the journal over to the girl standing by the window. Liz nodded in acceptance. She looked at Max with contempt.
"So, I guess you know, now?" She asked, darting her gaze from him and looking towards her room in shock. Her secret was finally out and she didn't know whether to punch Ava or kiss her.
"Yes. I know you didn't sleep with him." Max said firmly, a glimmer of sadness in his eyes. "But-but I still don't know why you felt you had to lie to me, Liz! We never lied to each other."
Ava began to stand up from the chair as she saw Max's lip begin to quiver and his eyes begin to water. She didn't need to see their leader crumble like this. "M-maybe I should go." Ava said quietly, heading through the window and back into Liz's room with a sad look at the brown-eyed girl. Liz nodded and smiled at her. Ava smiled back. Had she helped her? She certainly hoped so. She prayed that she hadn't made everything worse.
"Max, I can't. I can't tell you. I promised you- I mean, I promised him." Liz said firmly, sitting in her chair and holding her journal closely to her breast. Max kneeled down in front of her and glared at her.
"You wrote about Tess leaving. You wrote about the Skins taking over. You wrote about the future like you KNEW what was going to happen, how do you know Liz? You wrote in your journal like someone came from the future and told you exactly what was going to happen- and how to stop it!" He cried, finally meeting her gaze. Her eyes watered and she lowered her chin to rest on the top of her journal. Max gasped. "Is that… is that it? How is that--?"
"You came to me from the year 2014, Max! It was you! You were 31 years old. You had long hair, and a mustache, and little patches of gray in your head- but-it was still you." She said matter-of-factly.
Max fell backwards to sit on his knees, his mouth gaping open widely. "How?" He barely whispered out.
"Remember before you left? I told you that the Granolith was dangerous and powerful and not to let the wrong people get their hands on it? That's what I meant…"
"It's- it's a t-time machine?" He asked incredulously. She nodded. "I-I don't understand." He looked at his feet.
She sighed, raising her tired body from the chair and walking past him to the edge of the balcony. "He didn't really explain much. He didn't tell me how it worked." She looked up at the stars, smirking at the irony of this situation. The love of her life came back from the future to make her make him fall out of love with her? It was so laughable…
He turned around to look at her and noticed for the first time that the moonlight was making her skin glow. He had never seen her so beautiful, so honest, so real- than at that very moment. They didn't speak for what seemed like forever. He just watched her with curiosity, wondering silently to himself what her next move was going to be as he pondered his own. "So." He said finally as he sank down into the chair. "You did this to… save the world?" He cringed as he heard the ridiculous phrase ring through his own ears.
"I had to." She said firmly without turning around to face him. "When you and I made- I mean, when we got back together… Tess was so heartbroken that she left Roswell, and you weren't able to defeat the Skins. They took over… the world…" She drifted off. He rested his face in his hands, crumbling. He couldn't believe that he would do that to her- he couldn't believe that he'd make her do that… it just didn't seem like him at all.
"You're sure? You're positive it was me? It wasn't a- a shapeshifter?" He asked her. She turned around and glared at him with horror.
"Do you actually think I'd make something like this up just so I could 'pretend' to sleep with my ex-boyfriend? The one who I dumped because I was in love with you?" She cried.
"No!" He cried, trying to recover. "I-I just can't believe that I would do that to you. Instead of having us talk everything out-with Tess…" He didn't want to cry, he really didn't- but his devastation betrayed him as the tears began to slide down his golden cheeks. "How can you ever forgive me?"
She turned around to face him, watching him as she walked towards the chair. "How can you even ask me that? After everything I did to you? This is not your fault."
"Liz, don't turn this around on yourself. I am as much to blame as you are- I just wish you would have told me about this earlier- we could have worked everything out… and maybe… we could have gone to the Gomez concert that night…" His voice trailed off. He looked into her gorgeous brown eyes and saw them blacken with desire.
"Actually…" She whispered, looking towards her window. "We didn't ever make it to the concert…" He looked at her, confused. "He- you, I mean. You told me that-that night changed everything between us."
Max let his face drift unconsciously towards Liz's. "What do you mean---'everything'?" She felt the familiar low rumbling begin deep in her stomach and spread all over her body as his lips came closer to her own.
She could barely breathe as she spoke the next words. "That was the first night we made love." She got it out quickly. The corners of his mouth turned up slowly, revealing the first smile he'd given her in weeks.
"Oh." He said, barely controlling his excitement as he felt the blush creep up hotly into his cheeks. "Liz, did we-did he tell you if we ever-" He began, only to be interrupted by her.
"-Got married? Yes." She said quickly as she watched his face light up. "We were 19. We went to the Elvis Chapel in Vegas." They laughed.
"Vegas? Wow." He said, lying backwards to relax on the chair. This was the best he'd felt in weeks. He felt like Liz had picked up the million pieces of his broken heart and melted them all back together- just by telling him that they had been husband and wife in the future. It was all too much for him to take, so he just closed his eyes and smiled. She sighed, standing up and walking towards the window and climbing inside. She sat down on the couch nearby and watched him as he laid in the chair quietly. He turned around to face her and got up slowly, walking across the balcony and sitting right near the opening, his face only a few inches from hers. "So…"
"So?"
"So, where does this… leave us?" He asked quietly. She just looked at him with sad eyes.
"Max." She said firmly. "We can't. Don't you understand? That's why you came back. To make sure that we never made love- to make sure we'd never get back together."
"Tess won't leave. I won't let her."
"Oh, you won't?" She asked sarcastically. "You don't own her. She lives her own life and she'll do what she damn well wants to do. She doesn't care."
"Liz." He said firmly. "I know Tess. She isn't-she isn't this horrible person that everyone else thinks she is. She's scared, just like the rest of us. If we tell her what we know, she won't leave Roswell. She won't endanger everyone like that. She cares about me, Michael, and Isabel too much to just hand us over to the Skins like that. We're the only family she has." Max said quickly.
Liz looked at him, smiling. "This is what was supposed to happen, you know? It worked."
Max paused. "What? What was supposed to happen?"
"You were supposed to be with Tess. Just like your mother said." She smiled, looking up at the stars once more as she let the tears slide down her face. Max rested his hand on hers softly.
"No." He said quietly, determined. "I am supposed to be with you." Liz met his eyes and for a moment, felt like everything would work out. "Isabel, Michael, and Tess are my family. They are a part of me- we need to stay together. But you're a part of me too." He pleaded with her, wiping a tear from her cheek with his hand and letting his palm rest lightly against her jaw. "And I know that one day, you'll be my family- for real." He kissed the ring finger of her left hand and she couldn't help but smile.
"Max." She shook her head. "Max, I'm scared. I don't think I can stand…"
"Stand what?" He asked as he began rubbing her cheek softly.
"I don't think I can stand losing you again. This has to work. Do you know that Tess will stay this time? I don't know if I can take this pain ever again…" She said softly, her thoughts moving so fast that the words seemed to tumble over each other.
"Never again." He said quietly, kissing her cheek tenderly and letting his lips linger on her olive skin.
Ava sat in the hallway of the Parkers' apartment, her body propped up against Liz's bedroom door. She sighed as the sound of voices diminished until it was completely silent. She walked over to the hall closet and grabbed a spare pillow and blanket and spread them out on the floor. She had a feeling that she wouldn't be returning to the suffocating sleeping bag in her room that night. She stretched out and yawned as she felt herself completely relax into a peaceful sleep. She just prayed that she wouldn't have another horrible dream about Zan.
Liz smiled as she found the light pencil drawing tucked safely inside a purple folder inside her nightstand drawer. The memories of the night that the picture was drawn were still fresh in her mind- the intense heartache she felt when the image was captured but also the intense feelings of joy that she welcomed only hours later. She snuggled back into the pillows on her bed as she hugged the sketch tightly to her body.
It had been five years since the night that Ava drew the picture for her, and she still hears from her every now and then. She went back to New York and lives with a minor league football player named Kevin. Must be something in Ava and Tess's genetic code- they're both attracted to the "jock" type. Her gaze caught sight of the purple-framed picture resting next to her lamp and reached over to pick it up. She smiled as she looked at the image of she and her seven best friends on the night of their senior prom. Who would have thought two years ago that they'd all still be alive to see their senior prom? Alex looked so perfect with his arms wrapped around Isabel's, his dark hair a striking contrast to her bright long tresses. Beside Isabel was Michael, who had his arms around she and Maria and was smiling his perfect Michael smirk- that grin with no teeth that made her best friend fall head over heels for him. Kyle snuggled up next to Tess, whose incredibly high heels made her almost equal height with her date. Tess's arm was linked with Liz's own, and Max had his body pulled flush against hers. Everyone looked so happy and safe. The Royal Four was in tact, no Skins took over the Earth. The scariest thing in these eight people's lives was the idea that she and Max had decided to go out east to college while the others remained in the warm and sunny western part of the country.
Liz once again looked at the sketch and smiled at the signature scrawled at the bottom. "By Ava, December 1, 2000." Did Ava know how much she changed everyone's lives? Who knew that Liz Parker could be good friends with Tess Harding and Tess Harding's double? Hey, this was Roswell. Stranger things had happened.
She smiled as she felt the warm body next to her begin to stir. Max moved quietly in his sleep, snuggling his face more deeply into her neck as his hand drifted to rest over her womb. He was always trying to get as close as possible to her, even in his sleep. She moved her hand lower to let it rest on top of his, and was shocked at how warm it felt. She looked down to their joined hands and noticed that the skin under his hand was glowing.
"Max!" She whispered with a shocked look on her face. "I-I'm?"
He moved his lips up to her ear and nuzzled her earlobe. "You're pregnant." He whispered, returning his face to rest in the crook of her neck. She gasped.
"What? How do you know?" She asked with a smile.
"We made a little girl tonight. I connected with her." He whispered into his neck as he snuggled up against her a little more tightly.
Liz looked at him with wonder. "How do you know?" She repeated.
He shrugged, his eyes still trying to capture a little bit of rest. "I just know. It's like instinctual or something. She's there, and she's a girl. Go back to sleep. We can talk about it in the morning." She chuckled at how calm he was about this whole thing! They were going to be parents? She laced her fingers with his as they rested upon her lower stomach. She smiled as she thought about the perfect name for their little girl.
Ava.
The End :)
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