The Ghost of You
Title: The Ghost of You
Author: Josephine/Lizabel
Summary: Michael POV, character death
Rating: Pg-13 for possibly dark tones
Category: Roswell Ut (Mi/L)
A/N: Sadly enough, I was inspired to write this while listening to a Duran Duran song on the radio at 11;05 at night. I think it was something about Ordinary World, maybe you've heard it... Well, I wrote it sitting on the bathroom floor till 11:20 so I wouldnt wake up my mom or sister.
This is dedicated to all the Polarists at FanForum who have provided a safe haven for me and my UC tendancies
Love you!! Lizzy Guerin
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They killed you to torture Max, to make him give in. Give in to the FBI, those special unit straggles who became obsessed with what they knew, and give in to Tess and her destiny. But I was the one who saw you die, the knives slashing through you, spewing your dark blood in the eerie moonlit alleyway just out side of Roswell.
I was too late to save you, your last breath spent before I could reach your cooling body and let the words fall to your ears. So I tell you now, now when I can never know what your response will be, or if you're even listening.
I'll tell you now, I love you.
They didn't give you a burial, at least a public one. I saw them harshly toss your body into a hole in the desert sand, I watched from far away, and I cried. Your family and friends were told that your body was never found. They did weep for you, I want you to know that people loved you, and truly cared for you, you were an important person who mattered. You ARE an important person. At least to me, you seem still alive. You might have been "the smallest of small town girls" but you made an impression on everyone who ever met you. Especially on me.
Sometimes, I'll stay up late at night, and imagine I feel your touch, your breath, and sometimes, I can smell you nearby- that wafting lavender of the shampoo you used. The scent of you will forever be engrained in my memory.
I treasure my memories of you. When you came to the trailer park to warn me of Topolsky and I heard the words, but all I could see was your eyes, and how they could be in danger because of me and a mistake I might have already made.
When I sat on my bed, copying page after page of your journal so I could read them over and over again knowing it would be one of the few glances of your soul I would ever see. And wanting to cherish those words you spoke with such certainty, "I'm Liz Parker." And it was then I knew that I wanted to be the one who your heart went to.
When I heard of your grandmother's death from Max, and inside my heart broke for you. I only wished I had been the one to help you through it.
When you saw Max kiss Tess and I sent Maria to you, knowing you would need a friend, wishing the whole time that someday I could be the one to bring you comfort.
When I showed up at your house that rainy night only to discover that your shades were drawn and the window was locked, and my heart sunk, knowing that you, Liz Parker cared enough for me that- if you had known what was going on- you would have taken me in, and forced me to be helped. Instead I went to Maria's, where I cried, because I really wanted you.
When I took you in my arms, and held you, for the first and only time.
Those fleeting moments when your eyes would catch mine, and a spark of electricity would flow between us, the rebel and the schoolgirl, the polar opposites, and for a moment, I could feel we were connected.
I feel that connection now, when I talk to the air, and you seem to comfort me while I dry my tears. Yes, Liz, I would have been Max Evans for you. But I would have rathered I was Michael Guerin, the Michael who loved you without abandon, or pretence in the silence of those looks.
But I didn't have time.
You were taken away from all of us too soon. I felt like a piece of my soul I didn't know was there had been ripped from me, as I watched the light fade from your eyes, and I had to walk away.
So, no here with the essence of you, I decide to move on. I could never have Liz Parker alive, so, while you're with me, let me tell you I would never give away the time we had together for any knowledge that you are really here now.
Because it's enough just for me to believe that you haunt me, Liz Parker. In more ways than one.
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