Welcome to the Jerky Contest

Yeah, what's up there Fruitcake? I gotta a little contest for ya. Ya see, I got problems over here. I tell my friends, I want you guys to be in a contest, and they say, "I dont know if I want to be in a contest" and I push their f***ing heads into the side of the computer and say, "You play in this contest or I break yer f***ing head". Of course, I won't be in the contest cause I'm the best, I'll work circles around you jerks, I'll wrack your f***ing heads in with a rachet. Anyway, enough is enough, I gotta get the hell out of this area, so read the rules, pop some wheelies, and god bless us all. Say yer prayers. Seeyathenorlater, nitz.


Scoreboard Rules New Questions Past Questions Email Hill Jerky Links

Click on Frank Rizzo
to enter the contest
or send your jerky answer.

Note: Put "Jerky Contest" in the subject of your email, so that I know what to look for. Otherwise, I may miss it on a Tuesday and not see it 'til Wednesday, and you lose out on some points, not me.


The Jerky Scoreboard

Congratulations to

Jeff Kuchma

for being the only true Jerky fan invited to this little party. I guess everyone else had to get the hell out of this area. So long, flapjacks.
Current Jerky Leader Board: (as of 10/19/98)
Jerky Title Name Latest Score Total Score
Rubber Neck Jeff Kuchma Perfect F***ing Perfect
Tough Guy
Sweet Charlie
Brett Weer


Here are the rules, Mike:

1. Every Monday evening, a new set of questions will show up here for you Butt-Nuts to answer. Answers that are right score one point. Then, if you sent the answers to me on Tuesday, that multiplies your score by 3. By Wednesday, mutliply by 2. After that, scores are just as is. The score board will be updated and you guys can see who deserves to be called Rubber Neck. If the answers are not correct, only somewhat correct, ah, dont give me that somewhat shit. It's either right or wrong.

2. I am the judge of this little party. No complaining or griping, or else I'll buy you a pair of them cement shoes, and we'll swab the decks together. Maybe you throw me overboard.

3. Once in a while I may trow in a bonus question or something which I will judge between each of you Sweet Charlies, and pick one which is the best. These bonuses may not even have to do with the boys, so be prepared for a random question every now and again.

4. Ya gotta help me out if ya could, right? Right. Anyway you can find the answers, is fine. CD's, tapes, movies, webpages, pizza delivery boys, whatever. Note: I included the Jerky Links on the menu above so that you guys can try and find some answers there, plus I may find some obscure facts through those links to try and trip you up, so use 'em, toughguy.


New Jerky Questions (Updated October 12)

Aaaaaannnnnd begin...

1. What does Frank Rizzo think about the French? (1 pt.)

2. What would constitute a pretty f***in' silly sandwich? (1 pt.)

3. Exactly how many pieces can Frank bench? (note: this may or may not be a trick question...proceed carefully.) (1 pt.)

4. If you are going to demo your rap album at a record store, what exactly should you bring with you? (1/2 pt. each)

And the bonus question...
If you are going to have a Bloody Mary and two steak sandwiches, it is only fair that WHO should pay for it? (1/2 pt.)


Past Jerky Questions

There aren't any yet, toughguy.