Real Men don't eat quiche.
The New Man does not exist.
There is only New Woman.
Before we start, I would like to say that I have been known to eat quiche. Well I'm
sorry, I like the stuff! I didn't make up that stupid rule about Men and quiche!
Some American writer did.
OK, here goes...
MACHO CULTURE.
Macho music.
Generally speaking, a man is free to listen to whatever damned music he likes.
Within reason of course (Oasis is not reasonable). But there are a few
musical monoliths every Real Man should be acquainted with.
* The Muppets version of the Macho Man Song.
The downloading of this song is compulsory, especially as it's a pretty fast site.
* Every Real Man should know the words to the theme from
Rawhide.
* Real Men own recordings of the following, or know the tunes well enough to
hum them when they want to: The Magnificent Seven,The Superman March,
The Ride of the Walkyries, Joe Le Taxi, and just about everything that
Ennio Morricone ever wrote.
* The Wurzels
Macho literature.
I read somewhere that "Real men do not read anything other than GUNS AND AMMO,
SPORTS ILLUSTRATED, or SHAVED BEAVER." This is rather difficult to live up to,
and it's really hard-line machismo, so for most of us, the following cultural monuments are
important.
An extract from Tom Clancy's new macho thriller:
Christine's Hunt for Rising Danger..Jack Ryan saves the
World and the American Way of Life with the help of a few nuclear submarines and of a few
Good Men.
* Are You Man Enough by Dennis Leary. I have no idea who Mr.Leary
is, but this essay quite simply explains what macho really means, and how to
reach that status. Read it. Go on Punk, make your day.
* And here are some Macho books, the importance of which cannot be overestimated:
Moby Dick, by Hermann Melville,
Salammbo, by Gustave Flaubert, and your suggestions for the rest will be welcomed.
Macho filmography.
* Westerns and more westerns, James Bond films, any films with
Clint Eastwood,
John Wayne, Gregory Peck and Emmanuelle Beart.
* Jury's selection: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly, Dirty Harry, El Dorado, Moby Dick, Dead Man, Rock'n'Roll
Machine-Gun Bimbos.
Right, that's it for now. I'm fed up with typing for the time being. But fear not,
for I have loads more of this sort of bullshit stored in my warped mind. I leave you
with a few words of wisdom from Captain Ahab, the psychotic Captain of the Pequod:
"(...)Aye, it was Moby Dick who tore my body and ripped my soul until they
bled into each other(...)"
Back to Iznogould's homepage.