I'd smack the shit out of you if I didn't think it would fill up the room.

When something goes wrong with someone else, say this to calm him/her: That can happen to anyone, but it happens to the stupidest first.

You're about as sharp as the leading edge of a BB.

You remind me of opium, a slow working dope.

You couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the bottom of the heel.

I wish I could lower my I.Q. so I could enjoy your company.

You are so dumb, you thought that a Quaterback is a refund.

If your brains were surgically removed and placed in a thimble, they would rattle like a BB in a boxcar.

You know, you might be a great person if you weren't a complete idiot.

The pain and humiliation I can handle. It's having to look at your ugly face that kills me.

Is there a fire in here? Or were you just thinking again.

If I wanted any shit out of you, I'd squeeze your head.

If people were computers, you'd be a 286.

When you were born, the doctor looked at your face and your ass and said " Hey we have identical twins".

I see you have "zachery" disease...your head looks "zachery" like your ass!

Your so ugly Rice Crispies won't even talk to you.

You have your nose so high in the air it would take a 10 ft pole just to pick it.

I've seen better heads on a BEER!

Pardon me, but didn't I just wipe you off my shoe?

I'd love to have a battle of wits with you, but I won't fight with an unarmed man.

If your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill and M&M.

Did you study to be this stupid, or is it a natural talent?

Sometimes I need what only you can provide -- your absence!!

If ninety percent of your intellegence came back, you'd be almost normal.

Be different, act normal.

I now know why your back goes out more then you do!!

Is that your face or did your butt grow a nose?

A little knowledge is dangerous, and boy, are you safe!

You're so low you could parachute out a snakes ass and still have time to free-fall!

The more I drink the better you look !!

When you were born the doctor slapped your Mom and said,


If brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow you're nose.

You're going to be a great wit someday - you're already half way there.

Let me know when you're dead. I can use another place to dance.

You're the only one I know who went into a Haunted House and came out with a Job Application!!

What are you going to use for a head when the monkey wants his ass back?

Your the type of person who gives piss ants a good name.

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