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So far only one letter has reached the standard required to be here and so it's over to you - Swallow, from Cheadle Hulme (This is completely genuine)
To fluffy poeple (not as fluffy as Alfie)
Did you kno wthat if you wank while having a crap, your funky spunk can project across, to the other side of the bathroom? (APPARENTLY)
Of course I haven't tried it silly (not as silly as Jason), you see I've got more Oestrogen.
Have you ever thought you were mental? No but I'm starting to worry - Dooog
Last timwe I masturbated my foot started vibrating. Yeah, I know, how annoying is that?
Anyway off that subject. How are you ? (err - to insane person that has even read this far)
Not much happening as yet. Oi Polloi soon to play hint, hint.
We need more venues, more gigs, more bands, more beer, more sex, more - OK I;ll get off that subject.
Do you know I've been celibate for nearly a year now!
Picture of skinhead girl with very long side burns - caption "side burns with a difference"Do you think this would suit me?
I, so far am thinking of either living on another planet, hibernating all year round, becoming a nun, pretending I'm in a coma or becoming a farmer.
What do you think the best choice would be?
Obviously, 5th choice along the lines of 'Dig' a very good song (I must admit the other choices are a little silly) (not as silly as Jason)
Me & Phil the thrill were thinking (rare I know) and we want to get peole together, buy a farm and have gigs in the barn. Some sort of project thing. Could this happen? Do we have support?
Anyway must go and masturbate,
Luv'n'kisses 'n' hugs, hear from you soon,
Swallow (with cheese)
P.S. Remeber the Earth is a sphere and so is my head (kind of)
Well what more can you say. Thankyou for that Swallow - if anybody knows this person, please keep sharp implements out of reach. Seriously though - keep those letters coming - who knows - next time the star of the show could be you!
E-mail Dooog
Comments gratefully received
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