The delightful village of Chineapple is situated deep in the Chiltern Hills midway between Punxville and Ciderfex town enjoying the lovely rural tranquility of the Buckinghamshire countryside. Click on a building on the map to find out more about Chineapple Village.
Ancestral home of the Chinapple Punx dating back to circa 1995. It is a splendid sumptuous mansion set in its rambling ornamental vegetable gardens. In the courtyard is the hub of the village - the miraculous beer fountain of Chineapple Vale. Their graces The Chineapple Punx are often in residence or seen kissing babies around the village.
Including exhibits such as the Lord Chunky's space helmet, Charlie Harper's original hair from 1978, a bloack of peat once used as a condom by Charles II and the only funny joke ever told by Growbag whilst entertaining an audience (in a bad state of repair). It alos houses James Jim Bobs Guitar Wizard's special NOFX exhibition (free netry to Blue Peter Badge Holders)
Keeping up admirably with the demand for runner beans for gig related antics. But also producing a bumper harvest of root crops and brassicas to keep the village's fart powered electrical turbines running.
Run by the ever vigilant James and his team of cack handed surgeons and often attended by Uncle Creaky (see Uncle Creaky's Knife Shop). The hospital is entirely staffed by buxom nurses in saucy uniforms apart from the ladies ward where nurse James does his rounds in a sequinned G-string. The hospital's alcohol rehab unit was opened earlier this year by Jimmy Savaloy and boasts a 100% failure rate.
Morris dangleberry was the first man to greet Chuunky on his mission from space and dropped dead on sight of the interstellar wierdo. Heart Failure was later established as the cause of death - though conspiracy theorists suspect trapped wind.
One end of the ride on railway passing through the village providing family fun and making us squeal with delight at the little trains. Martin from Ciderfex is often found here sipping warm cream of scrumpy from his thermos.
As proprietor of the shop Uncle Creaky is often forced to dmonstrate his knives effective cutting edges by severing variou sparts of his body. Unfortunately this renders him totally useless at drumming for long periods of time.
A quaint little guest house with lovely frilly doilies and charming cream teas. Run by chamber maid and psycho nutter Dorothy Axemurderer. A widow 17 times over, Mrs Axemurderer ius a total fruitcake and many guests disappera myseriously in the night. Some nights the sound of a distant chainsaw echo accroess the village. These are the night on which Mrs Axemurderer claims to have been playing bridge.
No one apart from Dooog knows what is in his secret shed. He is iften seen going in, but always locks the door. Even the windows are covered over. Ideas of what's inside range from a rude girlie magazine to a secret network of tunnels and high intelligence subterranean space laboratory. Although, on reflection , the former seems more likely.
Hand stiched silk Y-fronts produced to prder by Mr Chan a master tailor. Th eonly pant to be seen around town in this season as featured in top fashion columns of the Punxville Herald and the Chineapple Gazette.