Untitled
Once a day, at least, I think about you.
I think of the way things were before I came along.
And Killed you.
I wonder if you really mean it when you say you forgive me.
And I know I can never forgive myself.
Once a week, at least, I find myself alone.
Thinking about the love that I have, that never gets used.
Wondering If I may ever see the light of life again.
Ever, or never, mabe its all the same ?
And Knowing that if I can just hold on strong, I can make it.
Once a Year, At least I Remember things.
Things gone unremembered for years.
I think that maybe my heart is still inside of me.
Beating, and coping.
I wonder if You know how much I care.
And I know that I will live and get to see the sun shine through the clouds.
Once in my lifetime, at least, I know that I will achieve my goals.
I will think that I can do anything.
I will wonder if its all worth it.
And will I know that my life is a gift that caused the death of the one I love most. Thank you Mom.
When
When I feel the breeze caress my face.
And watch the birds look into my eyes.
I know that you are with me.
When I see the Butterflies play in the air,
And watch the kids playing down the street.
I know that I miss you.
When I Hear the song that we both loved so,
And remember when we were together,
I know that I just don't understand why you had to leave.
And When I Think of all the good times,
And remember how we were such good friends,
I know that I am grateful that I got to know you at all.
Dedicated to the Dear Friend I lost.
I'll never forget you.
You were the best.
I Know
I know that knowledge I have of you,
Comes not very often and is seldomly true.
I know that in my dreams you are there,
Telling me how much you Care.
I know that my memories are probably,
More of an exagerated fantasy.
I know that each step I make,
Is guidance from you, which I gladly take.
I know that My smile comes deep from inside,
Where you are there, telling me not to hide.
I know that most things I say and do,
Have probably come from thoughts stirred by you.
I know that I never got to know you,
But strangely, you're still the one I feel closest to.
I know that your life wasn't nearly enough long,
But each step of the way, you were holding on - strong
I know that I have visions of you,
They come in every form and in every hue.
I know that Right now you are watching over me,
I wonder what it is that you see?
I know that you were one of a kind,
And that, too, is what I have in mind.
I know that I am a reflection of you,
But sometimes, for this, I have not a clue.
I know that I can be whoever I want to be,
But when I look inside you are all I see.
I know that I want to be just like you,
Because, of course, my days on earth are few.
I know that you are proud of me,
Because I try to be all I can be.
Thank You For Loving me More than Life Itself
Not Listened To
Like a Thousand Tears never looked upon;
Like a Thousand Whimpers never Heard;
Like a Thousand Screams never listened to;
My Soul, Not uttering even a single word.
My Feelings, ever locked up in the Stone-walled castle that surrounds my heart.
Supposedly as protection.
But, "Protection from WHAT?" I say.
It must be from the Truth of how I feel.
But I know I can't keep them Pressured in myself forever,
Or my Insides will grow Cold,
Caving in,
Forever Crumbling.
Like a Cork in a champagne bottle,
It can't just sit there forever.
But I want to be that person that shows on the outside.
But thats just it.
Its all opposites.
Exterior, Interior.
Bright, Dark.
Happy, Sad.
Finite, Infinite.
Fantasy, Reality.
Reality.
Like a thousand Blows from a Fist to my Face;
Again, and Again, and Again....
Leaving
It seems like Only yesterday.
I was happy.
I was smiling.
Now things all look dark.
I feel like my life is crumbling by the foundation.
And ripped apart at the seems,
And soon nothing will be left.
I feel like I have hurt so many people.
Gotten involved, and screwed up there life.
My Perspective has been twisted,
I can't even hear my own heart Beating anymore.
Sometimes I think I should just leave.
Crawl into a corner, Where I can do no harm
Yes.
I think About leaving.
Out of everyone's life.
Away from my troubles.
Away from the Pain.
Darkness
I shrink in this ever-threatening Darkness.
Where everything looms above,
As shadows take advantage of my fragile fears,
Creeping into my soul and feasting on my feelings.
I shiver in the coldness of my confusion.
And Listen intently to the buzzing of the silence...
Now Piercing my eardrums.
And I just want somebody to make it stop.
Anger
A Roaring ocean,
Sending waves,
Angry waves.
Like a dragon spitting fire,
It just arises.
Anger coming suddenly,
You can't control it anymore....
....Then come the regrets.
Of things you should have said.
Or NOT said.
Of scars that you have left.
A knife that strikes,
That stings.
Swelling heart of Anger.
How you disgust me.
You can never know how much I despise you.
"Sorry" ? No.
Sorry is just a word that covers,
It can not erase.
Anger hurts so much during the time when your brain is confused.
But what hurts the most is after the Anger,
When you realize what you've done.
Tears
Tears are bitter things.
They remind you of sadness.
They are like pieces of shattered glass,
That dig into your heart,
And leave you alone.
They kill your dreams,
And drink the blood from your saddened heart.
They leave you feeling helpless.
Weakened.
You try to hold them back.
But they break through your brick wall.
The eat your feelings.
They expose you.
Sometimes Tears are viscious.
Uncontrollable.
Tears never lie.
Tears are honest.
Reflections
Reflections seem honest,
They seem to not lie,
They seem like they can't.
Reflections seem to just tell what is there.
They seem to have no biases,
They seem fiar.
Reflections seem to not judge,
They seem clear.
But adn anything ever be as it seems ?
Or is that just another reflection of reality ?
A Rose
A Rose is a gift from the soil to your eyes.
A Rose is Honest,
It never lies.
A Rose is a Rose
It bears no disguise.
The Beauty it holds arouses Your Sighs.
A Rose Knows all,
The smartest of smart
A Rose,
Like sugar,
Is sweet, never tart.
A Rose is never the end, But always the start.
Of Magical secrets that come from the heart.
What is Love ?
If Love is a Map,
Then Why did I choose the path that ends in a forest of Endless Tears and Pain ?
If Love is a House,
Then Why Am I staying at the Hotel across the street ?
If Love is a Test,
Then Why Am I failing the course ?
If love is Magic,
Then why Don't I know the spell ?
If Love is Blind,
Then why Am I trying to see ?
If Love is the top of a mountain,
Then why am I climbing downwards ?
If Love is Heaven,
Then Why must my eyes look constantly towards Hell ?
If Love is a song,
Then how come I never learned the words ?
And If love is a secret,
Why won't Anybody share with me the secret you all seem to know ?
Please email the author for permission before copying any of these poems!!
Send mail to:SnowieStar@aol.com
Send mail to:Cammilita@aol.com
