lots of people have 'what is goth' sections on their web pages. they quote 'goth' poems, give examples, alt.goth wrote the offical 'what is a goth' FAQ. i think of all of it is total bullshit. this is my own take on goths, gothics, the culture, the subcultures, etc etc yada yada yada...
bear in mind this page is nothing but my own opinions based off observations. and to all those 'you're stereotyping' people, or who say 'they're just like that where you are' my observations have been of goths in the greater denver metro area (including boulder and CO springs) minneapolis, areas of rural michigan (mount pleasant, oscoda, and that area) northwest ohio (mainly toledo) most of florida, and various odd areas along the west coast from san fransisco to seattle. all of these places i've either been to, or known a fairly large group of people from there. so i am not making this crap up from a small group of goths in one state. also, i use what i am familiar with as far as terms are concerned. if your particular area uses different slang or lingo to describe a type of person (for example in seattle weekend warriors are just bums and have nothing to do with being goth but in denver the term means instagoth) well DEAL WITH IT, this is all just a starting point of reference. don't get your velvet panties in a bunch
it has been my observation there are two types of people in this world: people that are, and people that want to be. this is evident in every major social and economic clique, fashion, lifestyle, whatever you want to call it
you've got real gangs, hood rats, people who's lives ARE the gang. visit bad parts of LA, detroit, chicago, or just about any major city with a ghetto. i mean the real deal
then you've got gangsta wannabe's, wiggers, or whatever. these are usually upper middle class white kids who have seen boyz in the hood one too many times and think snoop dogg is cool. they overdo the fashion, attempting to copy truly original styles that may or not be used by a small group of people in another section of the country.
you have seriously stinking filthy rich people who are aristicratic snobs, think they're better then everyone else, and unfortunately have the money to back that up. they will, quite often, have incredibly dense kids who go to high class schools and spend their lives being the social elite. a lot of them live in california. then you have the 'middle class' (whose actual income can differ from city to city depending on the overall economic state of that area) these are the ones who model their lives after renuns of 90210, and actually think quinn (daria's sister) is cool
real cowboys who herd cows, tend sheep, live on the range, rope the mule and all that good ole' cow poke stuff. then there's the inner city types who drive a chevy, wear cowboy boots and 10 gallon hats, go to a rodeo for family entertainment, and wouldn't know where to yank a cow to get milk if their life depended on it.
i'm not going to site detailed examples for all of them... but i wanted to mention a few just to make sure i got the point across and no one is saying 'hey that's not true of everyone'
in all of these cases, there is an accepted social distinction between the two. no one ever confused a 16 year old white boy who's 5'4, with a shaved head and his pants around his knees for an gun packin' gang member. so why is it that no one has ever recognized the several different goth types? this is my breakdown of them, as i have observed them to be, and it's in two parts: levels of gothness (just how goth ARE you?) and goth subcultures. but first, we have to establish parameters...
Real Goths: (or for reference's sake, i'll call them gothics) these are the real deal. and i'm not talking about 'old school' goths or the people who first wore all black and listened to bauhaus (those come later) these are people who really do prefer all things considered 'gothic' not for fashion or popularity but for their own sake. this is a mindset more then a fashion statement (these are examples, they do not pertain to everyone) to avoid getting too wrapped up in an explanation, just suffice these are the people who ARE. for references sake, i'll call these poeple 'gothics'
Not Real Goths: baby bats, weekend warriors, the list of names goes on and on. again, for reference i will call these ones 'goths' (obviously your personal views on the exact terminology may vary, this is just a reference point so settle down)
demigoth - these are sub goths who are in the transition period. they often flitter about the sub groups trying to find which one they like the best. sometimes they dress goth, sometimes they don't. think of it as not entirely unlike the metamorphisis stage when a caterpiller (i'm sure i spelled that wrong) turns into a butterfly (that's an analogy people not a comparison)
goth - your typical everyday run of the mill goth. usually in black or darker colors, band shirts, most often a not too freaky person who just happens to like how they look in black, but often get pegged as being something else
mega goth - the next level of gothness. always in goth, almost always wearing at least some make-up (more often the women then men though) doll themselves a bit more, wear 'goth' fetish wear on a regular basis (which amounts a bondage belt or collar and maybe a pair of toy handcuffs) and give people funny looks (i used to be one of these only a bit more hardcore as my accessories were real BDSM stuff)
ultra goth - after some time spent as a mega goth, the ultra goth gets even more into the fashion. men start wearing skirts even when they know it will be bothersome (ie during physical activities) leather and vinyl in spades, start using bondage gear as a fashion accessory (riding crop, whips, leash, etc) and spend ungodly amounts of money on crappy pointy toed boots that fall apart if you put more then a pound of pressure per square inch on the sole. big spikey bracelets, collars, and other nonsense that they only wear when they go out and end up removing because it just gets in the way
oober goth (or uber goth depends on how you wanna spell it) - you will never see these people in public not in goth. they lead the social cliques with their gothy might, they delight in frightening people with how weird they are. everything they do or say is orchastrated and timed, every movement must be fluid, presentation becomes their life. around this time being goth starts not being goth enough for them so they may experiment with non goth fashion in an attempt to be more goth (don't ask me why they do this, i've never found out and i really don't want to know)
super duper oober goth - the epitomy of all gothness. the gods of goth. black isn't goth enough for them, so they wear red. but only once or it becomes ungoth. they can only listen to switchblade symphony because anything else to is too commercialized. these people are usually SO obsessed with being utterly goth in every way they actually turn into club kids because goths aren't goth enough to be goth. these people have coined the phrase 'i'm so goth i'm DEAD'
i'm not goth anymore goth - these are usually spawned when an ultra goth or oober goth stayed in that phase for years. they spontaneously decide they don't like being goth anymore because they've done it for too long and usually end up either turning into normal corporate americans (with some odd tattoos and/or piercings) or ravers *shudder*
weekend warrior, instagoth - on the weekdays they look like your normal joe schmuck. but on club nights or weekends they dive into their closests for black clothes and make-up and try to pretend they're like this all the time (see also baby bat)
baby bat, cheesy goth - most often younger generation (14 - 16) who WAY overdo it. 3 inch thick layer of make-up, cloaks, fishnets, the whole nine yards. and they dress like this ALL THE TIME. they are rarely ever found in public looking 'normal' even though they have no real personality traits that make them gothic at all. they just read 'gothic' literature, watch other goths, and do their best to try and be like them, only more so
lifestyle goth - no matter their level of gothness, being goth isn't just a fashion to them it's a lifestyle. it permeates and partakes of every part of their existance. it's simply what they are, but unfortunately they often end up being oober goths who buy their clothes at hot topic, and think you HAVE to be consumed by the 'dark' because you wear black...but some of them are damn cool
gothy goth - kind of like life stylers, in form if not in substance. they don't take being goth so seriously. they're just, well....they're goth, damnit
(this is me)
punk goth - the hardest decision in their life is to listen to the sex pistols or sisters of mercy, and whether their mohawk should be green or blood red
chemical goth - no matter their goth level, or subculture trend they all band together in pursuit of the almighty drug. be it pot, booze, acid...whatever. they rarely care who you are or how you act as long as you have some substance they can shove into their body
scuzzy goth - these types are usually pretty anti social, and either because of this, or because they're anti-social, have a poorly developed sense of social etiquette. anything they found on the floor that doesn't reek is fit to wear, anything that generally covers the body (and doesn't have massive gaping holes) will do. bathing is only something to do when you're going out, or when your own stink begins to offend you. these types are often single
(i fit in this group nicely when i'm in an antisocial phase and don't leave the house except to work for months at a time)
street goth, ratty goth, homeless goth - take a scuzzy goth, but lower the clothing standards to anything that covers one's genitalia and is black, and reduce their bathing habits even more. most often the homeless who happen to be goths
body art goth - pierce this, tattoo that, stick a barbell there, see how many holes you can put in that. i pity these people at airport metal detectors...
pretty goth - all the little goth babes who are strewn everywhere on goth x of the x pages. these people could be models if they wanted to. perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect body...you either want to fuck them where they stand or beat their perfect little faces in, because they have a habit of being stuck up pretentious twits
mega babe goth - take a pretty goth and give them a personality you have to love, up the desire factor by 20, drop the homicidal urges by 50. what you have left is a quivering in your hips and the sudden need to smoke excessively
(my best friend jesse is a good example of this)
slutty goth - wear fishnet body suit. and nothing else. most often just those poor deprived types who are either sex fiends or think sex is the only way to be respected. just sluts in black (men as well as women i'm not being sexist)
popular goth - for some fucked up reason everyone loves them. they come in two forms:
personality - everyone thinks they're really cool. but they're usually really GOTH and make all the gothics want to throw up
looks - a terrific example of this is a girl who calls herself hellebelle. she has won EVERY goth x of the x award in the universe and people drool over her constantly. but she's a damn fugly bizzatch...at least i think so
glitter goth - shiny happy people holding...coffin shaped purses? ooOoohHHhh pretty...sparkles
the types who get that glitter goop crap and spread it all over their faces. bright clothes and glam. the epitome that i've seen was a guy who had christmas lights strung through his hair connected to a battery pack on his waist. now THAT is funny
gay goth (by suggestion) - they're not actually goth. they just do it to have an excuse to wear make-up
horny goth - they really like your corset. but they'd like it even more on their bedroom floor. and they make it a point to tell you this and repeatadly try to make it happen. this is where slapping comes in handy
icky goth, ugly goth, nasty goth - they were pug ugly when they were 'normal' and they're pug ugly now. for some odd reason though they seem to think dressing in goth hides the fact they're a cow with a big fat mole on their upper lip. they always seem to be the most scantily clad who tries to dance all sexy at clubs and makes your stomach turn
technocrat goth - computer junky, cyber addict, eletric wiz, computer game master, arcade junky. they hack the net, or chat away, or just play their games. only content when with a computer, or just those of exceptional computer apptitude
(this is me in spades)
medieval goth - always at the ren fairs, wearing cloaks and garters and corsets and tights, often found talking in an incredibly cheesy english accent and claiming they know how to either sew very well, use a melee weapon, or know everything there is to know about the 14th century
elegant goth - this is what happens when when oober goth meets medieval goth. a really big ego and they think they're just the most beautiful thing on the planet. wear low flowy things and don't walk...they glide
shy goth - this is what happens when that one girl from the 8th grade who would have been cute if she'd ever taken her hands away from her face starts dressing in black
mousy goth - really bad case of shy goth. they jump every time you blink in their direction and scurry around like someone is trying to get them. they are often very cute which can be frustrating...you ever tried flirting with someone who runs away when you get within five feet of them?
girlie goth - these ones can be SO much fun. take the chick flick fans, the girls who cry anytime anyone in any movie dies, they screech and run in terror when they see a bug. they faint a blood. they're the epitomy of the fans of the movie steel magnolias, and yet they dress in goth and like to frighten people...
drama goth, depressed goth - ooohhhh the inhumanity of it all, oh goth i don't want to live...just end it all now before i whither away and DIE oh gawth i'm sSsSsOoOoOo depressed
at least they're fun to play board games with
angst goth - rail against the system. it's all unfair. everyone is against me. beat down the shackles of oppression...fight! fight down the system! but what's the system you're fighting again? *blank look*
hm...rebel without a clue?
pathetic goth - 'i wear black on the outside because it's how i feel on the inside.' enough said
preppy goth, valley goth - dear god no...jason priesley in black drag. either that or the valley girls from beverly hills (and that general area) who dye their hair black dress goth and flip their hair while chewing bubble gum and spewing out 'dark' poetry in their little vall-speech (like, ohmygawth did you hear? like...type o negative is coming, i'm like just SO excited cuz like you know peter steele is such a babe)
boulder goth - these are goths from boulder, CO. their gathering war cry is to put one hand to their forehead and lament while chanting 'mommy and daddy wouldn't buy me a porche, damn the light!
these ones are not fun to play board games with
shock goth - they dress in goth and overdo it for the specific purpose of shocking people. dressing in black is just a shock value to them, nothing beyond that. yet one more pain in the ass that gives goths a bad name
bondage goth, bdsm goth, s&m goth - PVC dominatrix bitch, claimed and collared subs, adorned by whips and chains and all sorts of toys. 90 percent of them wouldn't know how to use these items if their life depended on it, but darn it they wear them anyways! (i help make up the other 10 percent, and no this isn't just a shameless 'i'm better then you' crack, look at the 'about me' page)
spooky kid, masonite, etc - i'm not even going to waste my time clarifying this one
hick goth - black dusters and leather cowboy hats, tight denim jeans and a face full of eyeliner. YEE HAHAHAHAHA
Crow goth - very simaliar to wiggers, actually. seen the Crow one too many times and think that's goth. try to dress and act like they're eric draven
old school goth - been around for a while. they were goth since you were in diapers. this makes them cool and more goth then you. this for some reason also makes them superior to you in every way, and you don't deserve to like bauhaus because they liked it first. and they make it a point to tell you this over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over...
i'm cooler then you goth - like old school goths but with more ego and even less reason to have it. they are just SO cool and SO goth that you should instantly want to be their friend. worship them, because hey...they have a SoM t-shirt no one else has so they must be the best goth in the world. you'll also find this attitude amongst the older goths (say, over 27) but this is usually derived from the adult misconception that because they're older then you that makes them better
gother then thou goth - usually also old school goths (but not always) these people are so fucking goth you don't stand a chance. you are but a black wearing flea while they are the raging Gothic Wolf which devoured the sun to shit the moon. they scoff at your ungothic ass because there is none higher then they. these goths are also known to have severe ego problems, drive in a hearse, and make guest appearences on the jenny jones show
superiority goth - these are the types who start 'goth x of the x loser' pages. your goth isn't real goth, their goth is. you're a pathetic goth wannabe because you don't know andrew eldrich's measurements. you suck because you like nin, and every knows nin isn't goth only sisters of mercy are. unless you like sisters of mercy, then you suck because everyone knows they aren't really goth they just get called that. the only way you don't suck is if you rip on any other goth first and show you're cool because you make fun of them too
intellectual goth - one more condescending goth type. they're smarter then you, they know everything about everything, and they use big words so that makes them more goth then you and therefor superior to you in every way. will most likely not look down their nose at you, as gother then goth's do, but they will certainly make it a point to get in a snide remark on just how uneducated you are
(i must admit to being one of these when the person i'm talking to is really fucking stupid and their idiocy starts to annoy me)
hypocrite goth - crusaders of tolerence and love between all people. they don't realize most goths hate people and want nothing to do with them on the whole, so they bitch at you violently for not being 'nice' and say how much they want to kill you.
now that's not very nice is it...?
trendy goth - they're goth because no other fashion is cool enough. they like 'gothic' things because it goes with the fashion. they overdo being goth because we all know that's it is just a popularity contest and the best way to be the coolest goth is to be more goth then everyone else, so their clothes have to be the most expensive, their makeup the most extravegant, and they shop at hot topic a lot
ungoth goth - 'hi. i wear blue jeans and cardigan sweaters all the time. i listen to the spice girls and aerosmith. but i claim to be a goth because it's cool'
yeah. right. whatever
incidental goth - they wear all black. leather. trench coat. boots. but they're not goth. it's just a coincidence. damn confusing at malls
what the hell are you doing goth goth - why the fuck are these idiots goths? they either just don't get what being gothic means, they have completely the wrong attitude, and usually wouldn't know a real goth if they fell out of the sky landed on their face and started to wiggle
hot topic goth, fascination goth - these are pond scum sucking bottom feeders. worse then trendy goths, worse then baby bats, god sometimes they're even worse then masonites. they are most often self righteous self important hypocrites who get their goth clothes at hot topic and think fascinations is cool (for those not in denver fascinations is an 'adult' store who's whole gimmick is that fuzzy handcuffs are BDSM and you should buy their fuzzy handcuffs because bondage is trendy and cool)
these people severely need to be beaten repeatedly with a large vinyl dildo
denial goth - they're really gothics, but they don't want to admit it. for some reason they've had a bad experience with goths or their upbringing or something, they often rip on all goths and go off on how stupid they are with no justifiable evidence or real reason, all in an attempt to convince themselves they aren't goths, when in fact all they want to do in life is dress in goth and lament
these people are useful only to laugh at
antisocial socialite goth - they hate people. they are the quiet ones in the dark corner. they don't speak, people frighten them, or they just can't stand humanity. that's why they're NEVER alone, always out and about with people sitting in a corner of the crowd looking forlorn so as many people as possible can see just how much they hate being out and about
weird goth - these are the people even the goths look at funny. sarcasm, never ending stream of jokes, a dirty mind and no sense of embarassment. say what they want when they want and usually say it a lot. either that or don't say anything and just stare at people. get a LOT of shit from gother then goth's, intelectual goths, and old school goths. because how can you be goth when you're laughing? (i also fit in here really well)
goffy goth - goffs are an odd bunch, and don't make a whole hell of a lot of sense. a goff is usually a gothic who makes fun of goths by acting 'gothy' (lamenting, blood, vampires, just overacting the part to mock them) but does it so much and so often they spontaneously turn into a goth
also you'll find gothics and goths alike being 'goffy' as they mock those they see as being 'fake'
mopey goth - 'life....don't talk to me about life. here i am brain the size of a planet and i'm reduced to performing meaningless tasks like openeing doors for two moronic humans oh GOD i'm so depressed' (quote from the hitch hiker's guide to the galaxy. think it sums it up pretty well)
coffee house goth - caffeine junky, sugar fiend, to hell with booze all they need is 20 packets of sugar and an espresso. they are often as close to a beatnik as you can get without being one, and some are known to write a lot of meaningless poetry that may sound good but has the depth and content of a shot glass of decaf
(this is me when i get sugar cravings, but i never write poetry)
anne rice goth, poppy z. goth, vampire goth, etc - you know them. you hate them. between them and the damn masonites and the fucking super duper oober goths, anyone wearing mostly black gets clumped into their little group and classified as a overacting angst ridden...blah blah blah. you know what people say about us. these people disgust me
pagan goth - 'i wear black because i'm pagan. or am i pagan because i wear black? or is it pagan to wear black? or maybe it's black to be pagan?' or maybe you're a stupid fucking worm who wants to be pagan because a.) it's 'freaky' b.) you get to be a witch or c.) mommy and daddy said pagans are bad but don't ground you for saying you're pagan like they did when you said you're a satanist. because of these idiots the pagan religon has about no credibility at all left to most people
witchy goth - these people actually think they can cast spells on you. they cast 'revenge' spells, love spells, goth spells (to make them even more goth) they get together with their fellow highschool sophmores (god the older ones are even worse) and form covens so they can magnify their witchly powers. seen the craft just a few too many times. these people do to wicca what the pagan goths did to paganism
christian goth - i'm not gonna say one fucking word about these poor deluded bastards
satanic goth - see previous
D&D goth - nerds, weenies, social rejects, braces and glasses. or maybe just bored. they wear black and they play d&d a lot, and read dragonlance. at least they've got something to do...
LARP goth - if it's possible, one step lower then d&d goths. not only do they play stupid games but they do it in public and force others to watch them be stupid. often use LARP terms in their day to day life and actually think the powers of their charector can effect them.
delusional goth - almost always these are also larp-goths or d&d goths. they honestly think they're a vampire or a werewolf or immortal or something. not sure if they REALLY think that or if they just like to convince everyone else they think that. either way they seriously need help
perky goth, hyper goth - how does a perky goth paint their ceiling black? they dye their hair and start to bounce...
(this is me after a night of being a coffee junky)
and this ends the lesson for today. i'm always looking for new additions, if i left somehing out let me know