Uncle Ernie:
I'm your wicked Uncle Ernie
I'm glad you won't see or hear me
As I fiddle about
Fiddle about
Fiddle about
Your mother left me here to mind you
Now I'm doing what I want to
Fiddling about
Fiddling about
Fiddle about!

Down with the bedclothes
Up with the nightshirt!
Fiddle about
Fiddle about
Fiddle about!

You won't shout as I fiddle about
Fiddle about
Fiddle about
Fiddle about
Fiddle, fiddle, fiddle!

Local Lad:
Ever since I was a young boy,
I've played the silver ball.
From Soho down to Brighton
I must've played them all.
But I ain't seen anything like him
In any amusement hall...
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball!

He stands like a statue,
Becomes part of the machine.
Feeling all the bumpers,
Always playing clean.
He plays by intuition,
The digit counters fall.
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball!

He's a pinball wizard.
There has to be a twist.
A pinball wizard's got
Such a supple wrist.

How do you think he does it?
I don't know!
What makes him so good?

He ain't got no distractions,
Can't hear no buzzers and bells.
Don't see no lights a'flashin',
Plays by sense of smell,
Always has a replay,
An' never tilts atall...
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball!

I thought I was
The Bally table king
But I just handed my pinball crown to him.

Even at my favourite table
He can beat my best.
His disciples lead him in
And he just does the rest.
He's got crazy flipper fingers,
Never seen him fall...
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball!!!

Father:
There's a man I've found
Could bring us all joy!
There's a doctor I've found
Could cure the boy!
There's a doctor I've found
Could cure the boy!

There's a man I've found
Could remove his sorrow
He lives in this town
Let's see him tomorrow
He lives in this town
Let's see him tomorrow!