Heroin-Addict Smiley's List of Achievements

Heroin-Addict is better than anyone he knows at everything.
Heroin-Addict likes to date women, but is considering dating men also.
Heroin-Addict doesn't work because he has a bunch of money that he inherited from his dead grand-mother.
Heroin-Addict is friends with a doctor, who sells him syringes.
Heroin-Addict can get better heroin than you can.
Heroin-Addict can go 14 days without eating.
Heroin-Addict was a french nobleman in his past life.
Heroin-Addict doesn't have A.I.D.S. yet.
Heroin-Addict knows everything.
Heroin-Addict's works are very clean.

A Day in the Life

of Heroin-Addict Smiley

11:30am Heroin-Addict wakes up.
11:39am Heroin-Addict starts shaking, uncontrollably.
11:45am Heroin-Addict starts to foam at the mouth.
11:50am Heroin-Addict takes a cold shower.
11:55am Heroin-Addict has to exit the shower to vomit.
12:15pm Heroin-Addict stops vomiting.
12:18pm Heroin-Addict resumes his shower.
12:45pm Heroin-Addict gets out of the shower and drinks some orange juice.
12:58pm Heroin-Addict sits on his couch and begins preparing his first dose of the day.
1:10pm Heroin-Addict draws the dose into a new syringe.
1:15pm Heroin-Addict ties his vein off.
1:18pm Heroin-Addict injects the dose.
1:45pm Heroin-Addict takes the syringe out of his arm.
2:00pm Heroin-Addict calls his dealer and makes arrangements for him to come by and bring him some more dope.
3:30pm Heroin-Addict's dealer arrives and sell Heroin-Addict a fat bag for $200.00.
3:45pm Heroin-Addict's dealer leaves.
3:50pm Heroin-Addict sniffs some of the dope that the dealer brought.
4:00pm Heroin-Addict cooks another dose.
4:20pm Heroin-Addict draws the dose into a new syringe.
4:26pm Heroin-Addict ties off his vein.
4:30pm Heroin-Addict injects the dose.
7:58pm Heroin-Addict takes the syringe out of his arm.
8:30pm Heroin-Addict cooks another dose.
9:00pm Heroin-Addict draws the dose into the same syringe that he used last time.
9:15pm Heroin-Addict injects the dose.
12:49am Heroin-Addict takes the syringe out of his arm and unties the tourniquet.
12:55am Heroin-Addict drinks some orange juice.
1:15am Heroin-Addict goes to bed.