StoryLand


A really stupid tale...

“ *N SYNC Tackles the Big, Bad Landlord! “

Once upon a time there were five guys (known to all as *N SYNC) who lived in a small little condo somewhere near the village of Grinch. One day they had a visit from their terrible, greedy, nasty...(in others words this guy was awful)...landlord. He wanted a million dollars for rent plus, first and last month rental deposits. The guys were outraged. They decided it was time to move.
The only problem was...they couldn’t agree on the type of new place to move into. So they set out separately to find a home of their liking.
Lance scoured the city of Grinch searching for his perfect place. He came across a STUDIO apartment on the 10th floor of a 9 story building. It was a tad drafty, but the decor was very airy!!! He began moving in immediately.
At the same time, across town, Justin found a hang out at the SINGLE and MINGLING Resort complex. The neon sign flashed day and night in his front window. He walked around the new pool but couldn’t see anything except large white spots. Guess he has been temporarily blinded by all the beauty!! In his currant dilemma he walks right off the edge of the terrace and falls into the pool. Sure hope he can swim.
Chris decides to move into a room behind the tattoo parlor. He likes the hustle and bustle of people coming and going at all hours of the day and night. He’s a little reluctant to make friends with the large beady-eyed thing that gnaws on the rafters every night. It has only introduced itself as BEN so Chris has decided to leave well enough alone -- for the moment.
JC headed straight to the edge of town. The little cabin needed work and the picket fence was falling down but so what. Later as he tried to get some much needed rest the little cabin began to shake violently. He ran to the window to see what was happening. It must be an earthquake! Right behind the outhouse, in the glow of the full moon, were two sets of railroad tracks. He spent the rest of the night SHAKE, RATTLE, and ROLLING.
Joey was having a hard time getting any sleep at his new digs. He hadn’t been lucky enough to find anything but a motel room. The guy who ran the place was slightly on the peculiar side. There was a sign posted in his room that said: CURFEW IS AT 9 P.M. -- you break it...and your a goner!!! It was the shovel in the proprietor’s hand that gave Joey concern.

Living at their separate places was not going to well for the guys. And the terrible, nasty, greedy (in other words this guy was awful) landlord was having trouble rerenting the place. He decided to pay each of the guys a visit and convince them to move back.
He knocked on the door to Lance’s 10th floor 9 story building.
LANDLORD: “Little Lance, Little Lance, let me in...”
“Not even by the hair of your stubbly rough chin” Lance said boldly.
“Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and....Well you know the rest of it!!!”
Lance refused, so the former landlord puffed his smelly cigar right in Lance’s face. Lance ran all the way to the tattoo parlor where Chris lived, with the landlord in hot pursuit.
“Little Chris, Little Chris let me in...get your behind out here!’
“No way...” Chris and Lance shouted.
LANDLORD: “Okay, you know what comes next...”
Again the smelly cigar won the battle so Chris and Lance ran to Justin’s Single and Mingling condo. They fished him out of pool while all the single, willing retired ladies looked on in approval. Justin can finally SEE his surroundings. YIKES!!
Running for the safety of his neon blinking apartment they get there just in a nick of time.
“Little Justin, Little Justin let me in...”
“Take a hike...beat it...” Justin says boldly.
LANDLORD: “All right already, I’m gonna have to huff and puff...yada yada yada.”
The smelly cigar smoke sent the three choking out the backdoor...and to JC’s place.
When they arrived a major earthquake inside the cabin tossed them all around. To add insult to injury...
“Little JC, Little JC...OPEN the DOOR”
“Drop dead...dragon breath.” Hey did JC say that?? “Sorry, Take a hike...(better?)”
“I say N...you say...” The landlord growled.
Overcome by cheap cigar smoke the guys venture to Joey’s place.
LANDLORD: “Little Joey, Little Joey....”
JOEY: “Okay guys...here’s our choices...we have a man with a shovel & 9 p.m. curfew, or a smelly cigar smoking terrible nasty landlord.”
LANDLORD: “Come on guys...you’re Tearin up my heart...I want you back.”
The guys shrug. “Okay, But our rent goes back to $10.00 a month!”

And as the story ends *N SYNC is back together. Justin is still seeing spots, JC can’t quit shaking, Chris won’t speak to anyone named Ben, Joey always gets home before 9 p.m. and Lance...well he’s been a tad air-headed since his experience!!!

The moral of this story is to ALWAYS stay *N SYNC!!


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