Somewhere Out There

Lump Four.

Oh yeah! Today’s my birthdaaay!! Zac sprang out of bed and went downstairs. Throughout his fourteen years of existence, birthdays never ceased to excite him.

From his past thirteen years of experience, Zac learnt to scoff his breakfast as fast as humanly possible then run back upstairs. There, he knew his presents would be waiting on his bed. His miraculously, neat bed – of course. No, not the rumoured trundle, an actual bed. His own bed – no doubt, and would you believe it… in his very own room too! Really, Zac thought, We’re millionaires – we have money. So, why would I want to sleep on a trundle, squashed in a room with two other stinky guys?

Tech felt stupid waiting, on this Zac person’s bed. He didn’t know why, he just felt stupid. When Zac opens the door, what was Tech meant to say?

‘Hi Zac! I’m your present. If you’re not happy with your parents’ purchase, you can refund me at your nearest Walmart store, within 30 days. If you check my back pocket, you’ll find the docket!’ Pause. Barbie grin. ‘Happy hunting!’

H’mm…

Tech just wanted to open the bedroom window and jump out. Granted Zac’s room is on the second story, but breaking his legs might turn out to be more enjoyable, than being the puppet he is. Tech do this, do that, go over there, live with those people, do what they say, make me happy, make me proud.

Tech supposed, jumping out the window may be a little extreme, but it seemed pretty tempting. Anything to get out of Zac’s room and out of this situation was worth consideration. He rolled his eyes, Whatever.

Thud, thud, thud. The thudding became louder and quicker. Gee, I wonder who’s running up the stairs… I wonder.

The door swung open and what followed was an awkward silence. Zac very slightly cocked his head in confusion. “Uhm, hi. Who are you? What are you doing on my bed?” He rushed. Zac thought, … and where are all my presents? What’s going on?! It was then that Tech realized, he himself, had to explain the situation to Zac. “I’m Tech. What am I doing on your bed? I’m sitting.” He sighed. “Okay well, say hello to your new bodyguard.”

“Whaa?”

“I’m your new bodyguard. Well, you’ll still have that Jackson pers-”

“Jason, you mean?”

“Yeah. You’ll still have him but you’re gonna have me too.”

Zac stifled a grin. “Are you sure…? You, you’re my bodyguard?” This guy’s a shrimp! He must be kidding me…

Tech narrowed his eyes. “Your whole family’s. Not just yours.” Thankyouverymuch.

“No offence or anything, but… I mean… how can YOU be a bodyguard?! I mean, well, you don’t quite look the part…” Zac suddenly understood. He smiled and waved his pointer finger, “This is a joke, isn’t it?”

Tech gave him a look. I wish. Then he thought he might have a bit of fun…

“Zac. I’m a special bodyguard. I know Chinese magic. If I try, I can sense things…”

Zac turned his head and looked at the boy out the corner of his eye. “Wha-what do you mean,… sense… things?”

Oh yeah, poor, little gullible soul… Keeping a serious, honest look on his face, Tech continued, “It’s like… I can feel the things before they happen.”

“What, like Pheobe’s premonitions?”

“Pheobe?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of Charmed!” Zac gaped.

“Oh yeah. Yeah I have. And yeah, it’s pretty much like that.”

Zac noted, “You say ‘yeah’ a lot.”

“Nice to know,” Tech mocked the famous line from ‘Girl Interrupted.’

“So anyway, really? You see things just like Pheobe?”

Tech smiled a bit. “Well sort of. Except I’m not a witch, it’s Chinese magic, like I said before. So yeah,” He smiled at his ‘yeah.’ “It’s sorta like on Charmed but there’s no actual black and white play, I just know that the things are gonna happen.”

“How do we know you just don’t have a vivid imagination?”

Tech shrugged. “Well, you’re just gonna have to trust me.” He smirked at the words ‘trust me.’ After feeding Zac a load of crap and letting him believe the stuff, he wasn’t sure if Zac should trust him.

The Hanson Boy looked a bit skeptical but then he seemed to accept it. “Cool!” He said and raised his eyebrows, “But I wouldn’t really call you a bodyguard. ‘Cause you don’t really guard us with your body…”

Tech couldn’t stop grinning. “Call me what you want. I wouldn’t mind ‘Your Highness,’ either. But eh, it’s up you.”

Zac threw his tattered cuddly toy at him. “In your dreams, maybe!” Then all jokes aside, he asked, “Why are you here, on my birthday though?”

Tech rolled his eyes, duh… “I’m your present, as weird as that sounds.”

“Huh, but why are you MY present? You ‘protect’ everyone else too, right?”

“Because you like kung fu the most.”

A feeling, unexplainable, flooded Zac. “Huh?! How do you know, and what does kung fu have to do with anything?”

Oops. “I uhh… oops.”

“What?…”

“Uhm! Okay, you caught me, I lied!” Tech confessed.

“Huh?! Lied? About what?”

“About everything… heh.”

“About getting premonitions?”

“Err, yeah.”

“I thoughts so,” said Zac, not very impressed.

“Nah, you believed me.”

“I did not!”

“Don’t deny it.”

Zac narrowed his eyes at the boy. “Oh please. We’re not even discussing it anymore. We’re talking about why you really are here.”

“Why I really am here? I told you, I’m your new bodyguard!”

“Don’t start that again.”

“It’s the truth!”

“Please! You said before, you lied about everything.”

“Well, I lied about that.”

“What? Are you talking about…” Zac sighed. “Okay, starting from the beginning. I’m asking the questions, you’re gonna answer them. Truthfully, okay?”

“Do I have a choice.”

Zac rolled his eyes. “I’m starting now… okay, who are you?”

“Tech.”

“Last name too.”

“Tech Lai.”

Zac smiled. “See what happens when we play nicely! Next question, are you really a bodyguard?”

“How many times do I have to tell you?”

“So you are then,” He smirked. “So really, what’s your way of ‘guarding’ us? Oh let me guess, kung fu huh?”

“Smart. Very smart, Zac.”

Zac slowly drew in a deep breath. Then he jumped up, “Really?!!! You know kung fu?! Oh, wow… can you show me some stuff??! Do you know Jackie Chan? He knows kung fu, you know! Awesome, this is sooooo cool!” Then Zac settled down. “Wow,” he breathed.

Zac’s excitement was contagious. Tech laughed a bit – at Zac though, not with him. He said, “No, I don’t know kung fu, I mean, I do, I meant - I don’t know Jackie Chan!”

“Oh,” and Tech thought he saw great disappointment.

Tech asked, “On with the questions, then?”

The other boy nodded, with much less spirit than before. “Okay. So, how long have you lived in Tulsa?”

Wow, what an interesting question, Zac. Tech answered, “Uhm, well since yesterday.”

“What?! You came here just for us?”

“You could say it that way, yes.”

“Woah… how old are you again?”

“Again? I haven’t told you before. Sixteen.”

“Oh cool. I’m fifteen. Well… I wasn’t yesterday but I am today!”

Walker’s head popped through the door way. “Have you two had enough time to acquaint yourselves? Because guests are starting to arrive.” Then he left.

“What type of party?” Tech asked.

“Surprise heh. No… just a whole bunch of relations and a couple close friends.” Then what am I doing here? wondered the foreign boy.

“Come on, let’s go.” Zac tapped his fingers together, “And see what kinda presents I get!” He ran off.

Tech called after him, “Just gotta tie up my shoe laces!” Yeah right, he thought. No way am I going down. I don’t know Zac’s relatives. Heck! I don’t even know Zac! How can I celebrate the guy’s birthday when I don’t even know him? Tech got up off Zac’s bed, closed his bedroom door then went back to sit down. He wondered how long the party would last. Probably the whole day, huh? Well, today is going to be fun! I just know it. Reminded by his thoughts, he smiled again at how gullible this Hanson boy was.

****

Zac was exhausted, for sure. This year’s party was absolutely over the top! He still couldn’t believe his parents allowed everyone to have a jello fight. Outside of course… but still! It was so awesome! You just wouldn’t believe….

Not to mention, he got tons of presents! Presents are so cool…

Zac yawned and stretched his arms as he thudded up the stairs. He opened his door and was about to plonk on his bed… but someone was already there. Zac suddenly thought of Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

Tech was just where Zac had left him but his eyes were just about closed and he had slouched down – head on palms, elbows on thighs. “You’re still here,” Zac half asked, half stated.

Tech got up, “Oh yeah, sorry.”

“No, that’s not what I meant.” He saw Tech sit back down. “Where’d you go tonight? We were looking for you. Thought you went back to your apartment.”

“Nope I went nowhere,… at all.”

“Not even to the loo?”

“What can I say? I have strong muscles down there.”

Zac turned his head away. “Please. I really don’t wanna know!”

Tech smirked.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

“Not really. I haven’t used any energy all day.” He gestured to himself sitting down.

“Oh. How come you didn’t come down today?”

Tech tried to raise one eyebrow but ended up raising both. Not the effect he wanted but still he said, “Can’t you imagine my reasons?”

Zac paused for several moments and thought. “Sorta…” … well not really. But Zac couldn’t really say that without looking dumb. He decided to leave the subject alone.

“What’s the time?” Tech asked.

“I would say about midnight.”

“Woah, that is a long time. I’ll be going now, then.” Tech got up.

“Hang on! It’s dangerous to walk alone at this time.”

“I know kung fu, remember?”

“You could get gang raped!”

“I told you, I can defend myself.” He yawned.

“Look, you’re tired! If you walked home, you could fall asleep and trip and crack your skull on the curb!”

“You watch too much TV. Nothing’s gonna happen.”

Zac smiled. “And now, you’ve just jinxed yourself so you’re gonna have to sleep here or something will happen to you.”

Tech narrowed his eyes. “Fine, where’s your couch?”

“Downstairs but you can’t go downstairs ‘cause our stairs creak and that’ll wake up my mom and dad.”

He rolled his eyes. “Then what do you want me to do?”

Zac smiled, “Sleep on the bed.”

Tech’s no longer tired eyes, nearly popped out of his head. “NO WAY!!”

The younger one burst out laughing. “Not with me!! You, dumbass!”

Was that a sigh of relief, Zac heard? And I thought everyone would kill to get into bed with me…

“I’ll sleep on the floor.” Tech countered.

“No!” Zac looked the other boy in the eyes. “No. I’ll sleep on the floor.” With all seriousness, he said, “You sleep on the bed.”

Several moments passed in silence. Tech was thinking, he was touched. It seemed Zac was worrying about him… but why? They didn’t even know each other.

Tech felt a bond grow between them in this still moment. He said aloud, “This is so ridiculous, but okay.”

Zac smiled, “Good. Now, I just have one thing to ask. Please don’t wet my bed. I’m talking about snot, drool, semen, piss… talking about piss, don’t you need to go? Anyway, I also mean diarrhea, blood, spew, sweat and tears… okay? Just don’t wet my bed.”

“You can count on it.” … that I wouldn’t tell you even if I did. He smiled. “And yeah, I do kinda hafta have a leak.”

Zac turned his head away again. “Spare me the details, the toilet’s that’a way.” Then Zac went to get some spare pillows and sheets.

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