A Day In The Run

I haven’t run in a while, but I'm going to run tonight by myself in the cold. When you run by yourself in the cold at night you find that you can think very clearly about all kinds of crazy aspects of life. I'm kind of nervous about doing it. It's a little after nine o'clock at night. I hurt my ITB last spring. I'm having serious thoughts about whether I'll ever be a 16:04 5K runner ever again. I love running the 5K. This spring I'm going to Rowan. I might talk to the track coach if I can find him on Tuesday, January 20, the first day of classes at Rowan. Last winter I was already up to 40 miles a week at this time. I was also lifting weights 3 days a week. My only thought during off season training was building a base for the 2003 spring. All I wanted was to qualify for national championships. I was such a huge goal. It was a big disappointment not making it to the nationals in 2002. I Last spring I hit the climax and anti-climax of my running life. I accomplished my goal of qualifying to the NJCAA DIII National Championships in my second race of the season and I also ran my fastest 5K time ever weeks later at Widener University. A week and a day after running at Widener I hurt my IT band. Even now, 8 months later. This last fall I was running in the 20's for October and November, but recently I have slacked off considerably. I'm going to go for an easy 5 miles tonight. I'm going to suit up for battle now...
Well, my run tonight was slow and steady. It felt real good to be out there pounding the pavement again. I did one of my routine routs that I like to do. In my first half mile I ran towards the river and on my way there a little girl yelled, "Run forest, run." I probably like most runners, here that all the time. I then ran towards into a run down industrial section of my town where a cop shinned his spot light on me and slowed up and asked if I was nuts. I said "kind of, but I got to get in shape, you know?" he just laughed and went on his way. He looked like someone I might now but I couldn't be sure. After that it was just me, the pavement, the cold, the wind and the sound of breath the rest of the way.
I thought about a few things while I was running that I thought about before I went running. I thought a lot about my experience at GCC and how positive it was for me...
I reflected back on my minimum wage job at Bellmawr Lake after I graduated. I used to work there just cleaning up trash. I got a raise when I started coming in the morning to clean the bathrooms, skim the lake, clean the fire pits, and groom/rake the sand. I also emptied trash barrels into dumpsters. I remember having bad nights of sleep because of hot humid weather and have to go to work in the morning. The sun would be beating down on me at 8:00 am and sometimes it would already be in the high 80's and low 90's. Those are the days I remember most, the hot sweaty days when I would soak my shirt through with sweat. After I got done all of the morning work I'd take a break and eat a little bit and drink as much fluid as I could, I would then usually spend the rest of the day getting a tan while working the water slide and keeping people from doing something stupid or drowning. One day my boss asked me what the hell I was doing and started talking about how I could keep bouncing from shit jobs or register for classes so I don't have to bounce around shit jobs a seasonal work the rest of my life. After A little encouragement from my boss and my parents, and my Grand mom, I registered for classes at Gloucester County College and thus began the beginning of a journey.
...My experience at GCC was nothing less then awesome. Going to GCC is probably the best decision I've made in my life. I have furthered my self academically and athletically beyond any of my expectations. I went from a failing high school student to a somewhat intellectual college student/athlete. GCC has given me the courage to face my future with confidence. I was nervous about going to Gloucester County College because I was afraid of failing out. Now I'm nervous about going to Rowan because I can't make up my mind what Grad school I want to go to after I get my BA. That's mostly what I thought about when I ran.
I also keep wondering if and how I'll ever get myself back into strong fast light somewhat elite 5K runner. I had huge plans after last spring, but all plans as far as running came to a halt after I hurt my knee. Injuring my knee has shattered my athletic confidence. I'm now somewhere in the process of trying to rebuild some of the strength, shape and confidence.
I remember training last winter with first Jason K. and Coach B. then later with Sammy S. and another guy, Jason G. and sometimes Shaun B. Then later as I began to increase my mileage, intensity, and lifting, I began to run largely by myself. I remembered last January when I ran a 5K tempo on my old high school course at 17:10, shattering my HS record by about 30 seconds. I still had some energy left and at that point I knew I was going into the biggest spring of my life.

One Night

One cold night in November I was running my usual 4.71 mile loop around town. As I came up on Johnson Boulevard I noticed a middle aged runner wearing gear that looked kind of pricey. I was wearing my old sweat pants and hoody with a few layers underneath. As I got closer, even though I was out of shape, I could sense power within my muscles that never really faded. I only had about 2 miles left in my run at this point, and I was gaining on this guy. This guy looked like he was in some kind of shape (either from running or dieting) he was managing to move at a decent pace. I'm a national champion contender and the competitiveness is in my blood, I couldn't let this guy in front of me, I had to pass him, its in my nature. I began to increase my pace and stride length. I felt my legs hit the ground and the shock wave stop abruptly as my muscles loaded up, then explode with power as I pushed off with my toes. I caught up to the guy and said "what's up?" as I passed him, he managed to say how you doing in an out of breath way. As I started up Essex street towards the river it sounded as though this guy was going to try to keep pace with my. I accelerated slightly to drop him off. I could still hear him in my 6. I decided I would continue to accelerate until I was clear ahead of him. I just slowly increased my power and focused on my breathing. I was funny. My legs felt fine as if they wanted to go faster, but the cold air began to burn my lungs as if I was out of shape. I easily beat the old man. I felt bad about it, sometimes when you power on people like that it can get into a persons head. In track I'll keep on someone’s back until the let up the slightest, once. I'll let them try to surge a few times. When that happens, I just gradually increase my pace and reel them back in. Sometimes, in the last mile of a 5K or in Cross you can break a person in this fashion as you try to push them into anaerobic power. Other times you just wait for them to let up and pass them and dare them to try to keep up with an increased pace. Other times you might be in the last 400 meters. When that happens you just got to beat them with pure speed.

White Night

I went for a late night run tonight around town. I didn't get clock out of work until 10 after 10pm. By the time I got out it was just beginning to snow. My brother and I jacked up the Toyota to try and work on the suspension. It didn't really do much. I think my shocks are shot. By the time I started running it was after 11pm. When I ran it was snowing and the temperature was below freezing. I only ran for a half hour. I'm going skiing on Saturday so hopefully the running will keep me in some kind of shape. I can't remember what I thought about but I feel good so I must have been thinking good thoughts. Running really helps me clear my mind and stay balanced. I remember what I was thinking about now. A friend of mine recommended I read a book called Once a Runner. I haven't figured out what it's about yet but while I was running I remembered a part that was explaining differences in philosophies or karma of runners and non runners. I was thinking about how non runners truly don't get it. I feel my life is better because of running. I just feel better that's all there is too it. I feel like I have something no one else has. I feel I have a deeper understanding. I've always tried to figure out how to put into words this deeper understand/meaning, but I really can't explain it. I think the best way is to just say I feel like I have something that few can understand or comprehend. It's more than being goal oriented; it's more than delayed gratification. It's more than taking the road less traveled, it gives more life to life and it takes life to a higher level. It seems the author of this book truly has these deeper feelings.
After I was done running I went for a cool down walk. While I was walking I saw a guy I haven't seen since probably 8th grade, or about 7 years. He's about the same age as me. He dropped out of high school. I don't blame anyone who drops out of high school, but I wish they wouldn't. Anyway, it seems as though he was trying to get his life straightened out, he seemed in good spirits. I first I felt awkward, I think he did to, because we didn't always get along, but we did get along pretty well back then sometimes too.

Rainy Day

All day it had been raining hard on and off. I warmed up in their school's gym across the street. We weren't even supposed to be running at this school, but the track of the original school was flooded out so we were here. My teammate and I rain around the upper level of gym around a rubber coated metal track. There were kids from other schools up there who also came to the conclusion that this was probably the best place to warm up. There was no wind inside this gym and we progressively removed layers of clothing to keep cool. We then took most of our sweats off and stretched for about 10 minutes. As we were stretching my friend joked, hey Bri, wouldn't it be funny if you destroyed this 1500 while you are training for the 5000 and the rest of these guys have spent months specifically training for the 1500. I laughed and said it would be funny, but probably not possible.
I had to take a shit, it's sick to talk or think about, but it's the most important and under-rated thing any runner could do before a race. After that I put all my sweats back on and headed outside. It was still raining. I crossed the street to the track. My coach was standing near the 300 mark on the track on the final straight where the tent was, He saw me walking up. They had just had the first call for the 1500. I checked in. After we all checked in the official called us together. He said there was going to be three heats because there were so many runners. He called names for the first heat. I kept waiting and waiting for my name for to be called for what seemed like an eternity. He then Yelled "second heat." Again I waited and waited as he went through the list of names. Finally I was called. Then he yelled "Third Heat!" I thought to myself "fuck! great!, Dead fucking last in the second heat." I pinned on my number and wondered what the hell I got myself into.
We lined up on the track. I was still raining. The inside lane was a river that circled the track. I was on the second row, positioned on the outside of the track for my starting position. It was the worst position to be in. There were about 25 guys in the race and here was me in dead last.
The official said his words and before I knew it the gun cracked. Immediately everyone went hard for position. I didn't. I started slowly in comparison. I took my place in a long clumpy string of runners. I took the position I thought I deserved. Dead Last. On the front straight I caught up to the last place group of runners. I couldn't see anything because it was flooded and water was splashing everywhere, so I went out to the second lane. I went through the first 300 meters easily. I wasn't even out of breath. I picked of two guys on turn 1 and took to the inside of the track, once again, entering the onslaught of splashing water. I picked of a few more guys. I was now in a gap on the back straight. As we entered turn 2 I closed the gap. I passed a small group of three runners through the turn. On the front straight I took back to the inside. I then held steady into the third lap. I can't remember what happened on this lap, the lap before the last. I just know I had been holding back a lot through the first half (all of my 5000 meter training conditioned me to do that in the first mile of a race). And now I was going very hard and accelerating. I remember entering into the fourth lap. There were just two guys in front of me at this point. I had so much energy I said what the hell, I'll sprint the last lap. I stayed with the two guys through turn 1. On the back stretch I passed both of them. I looked for the next people to pass; I then realized I was leading. Into the final turn I began to sprint for the last 200 meters. I had the race in the bag. These guys had to be right on my shoulders. This race was mine. I had it. I couldn't, wouldn't let up now. I couldn't let anyone take this from me at any cost. In the last 100 meters I put out a full sprint. I searched deep for more. The finish line was closing in slowly. These guys had to be right on my shoulders. I dug deeper and held my breath and leaned thought the line. After I knew I had fully crossed the line I just let my arms and legs flail out and let my body decelerate. I was out of breath. As I kneeled down I looked behind me. The other guys were just finishing their sprint. I had beaten them by a landslide!
I hurt my knee in the first mile of a ten mile run the day after that race. I finished the run. I figured the pain was just temporary. It sill hurts. That was the heat I won in the spring of 2003, the season I ran my fastest 5000. The season I was the runner up in the North East District, the season I made it to Nationals. This race is still on my mind, almost a year later. I'm finally getting back in shape now, after doing nothing in the summer and fall. I'm running 30 miles a week, next to nothing. I have to get back, I will get back.

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