Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Goals continued, 1/11/2006, The Task
I'm going to refer to the second goal I listed from now on as The Task. For the very few people who have read Once a Runner, you'll understand what I'm talking about. Anyway, The Task is really the only goal I've been steadily working on so far, besides trying to avoid talking about ridiculous stuff that no one cares about (which is what I'm doing now, but I'm blogging, not talking, so this is going to be my way of venting the ridiculous shit that no one cares about, I'm gonna do it all right here, everybody needs an outlet).
It looks like I might hit 60 miles this week. I told myself I wasn't going to get obsessed and start running like crazy, but right now, for some reason, the mileage feels like nothing, so I'll keep slowly increasing it. On Monday, I did some hard strides, but not real hard after running 8 miles and going to the gym. Yesterday I ran another 8. Today I ran 10 miles then ran 3 really hard, nearly all out strides. I know they say not to go hard like that, but I need to wake my muscles up, I have my first race on the 20th. Since I'm more out of shape this year then last year, I'm setting my race goal very low: Break 5 minutes in the mile. I can probably do that in my sleep, but it feels good when you accomplish something.
Anyway, I'm gonna keep on runnin and keep on liften. I also started working on my abs. I wanna have a "complete" body for spring track (and the beach), so this is gonna require working every major muscle group. Abs are cool though, because you can work them every single day and they never complain. Quads, gluts, pecs and biceps and triceps, they all need a recovery day, but abs are like running, as long as you don't work them to hard you can work them every day.
I should add another goal:
Eat healthier.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Goals
Current mood: about to go out for a run but tired mood
Category: Life
Well, since it's the begining of a new year I think it would be beneficial if I state my goals and work towards completing them without obsessing over any one area. I finally got up the nerve to check my grades today. I have a 2.9 for the semester. I got a C in one class, that was my lowest grade. I missed a major assignment because I was sick and it took me down one grade point (ouch). I got an F in a class last year, I retook the class this year. I got a B in it this year. That brought my cumulative from 2.6 to 2.7. If I can ace my last semester I still might have a shot a graduate school. Anyway, I'm digressing, here's my goals:
1. 4.0 for my last semester (yeah, like that'll actually happen, but if I try I might actually get some decent grades for a change).
2. Break 15:59 in the 5K, my fastest time is a 16:01. Basically I just have to keep myself from getting injured and I have this one in the bag. What that means is not getting so obsessed with running that I over-train. My teammates will say I'm weak and I'm a wuss and 60 miles per week is nothing. Yeah I've been over 60 and 70 and 80 miles a week before, and that's how I got injured. It's not worth it anymore. I'm not great at running and I never will be, expecially if I keep getting sick and injured all the time.
3. Stop talking about ridiculous shit that no one cares about; It really kills the "mojo." And people who don't know me might think I'm weird or crazy or something. (yeah, bananas and nuts, plasma and stuff like that)
4. I'm graduating so I'm gonna have to think long and hard about what the hell I want to do the rest of my life. Rutgers or Villanova law school, Nursing school, getting a union job, joining the military, getting a gov't job, taking a year off to hike the Appalachian trail and travel around the country, these are all options I'm considering
5. Buy guitar and learn to play it (thanks Jen).
Saturday, January 07, 2006
If you ever wanted to understand what it's like to be a runner, you have to read Once a Runner by John L. Parker Jr. The book is a little old and the language is a little dated and cheesy sounding, but the book still reaches down to the depths of the essence of running.
Chapter 17. Breaking Down
Cassidy had been through it before, every one of them had at one time or another, but it had never been quite this bad. Denton called it "breaking down," although Cassidy preferred the noemenclature of certain Caribbean quasi-religious groups; waking death was much closer to it. Quite a bit more, really, than the simple exhaistion of a single difficult workout, breaking down was a cumulative physical morbidity that usually built up over several weeks and left the runner struggling to recover from one session to the next,
The object, accordking to Denton, was to "run through" the thing, just as he maintained one should attempt to "run through" most of those other little hubcaps life rolls into your lane; everthing from death in the family to cancer of the colon.
Breaking down was not a required checkpoint on the road to competitive fitness. In fact, many coaches warned against it. But Denton viewed it as an opportunity to leapfrog over months of safer, less strenuous training, thus tempering survival-hardened muscles. The alternative, total rest, was too much the other extreme, the easy way out. That wouldn't do.
The toll on the runner, however, was high if he chose not to slack off. Pyschologically as well as physically, he paid the price. He became weak, depressed; he needed 12 to 14 hours of sleep a night. He was literally desperate for rest, spent his waking hours with his legs elevated, in a state of general irritability. He became asexual, rendered, in the words of the immortal limerick, really quite useless on dates. He was a thoroughly unpleasant person.
But then his life was most certainly focused on The Task and hadn't he decided at one time that he would do whatever was necessary to become . . . whatever it was he could become? Perhaps. But at this juncture, many a runner begins to reexamine some of the previously unexamined premises. The question that plagues the runner undergoing breakdown training is: Why Am I Living Like This? The question eventually becomes: Is This Living?
From the crucible of such inner turmoil come the various metals, soft or brittle, flawed or pure, preciousl or common, that determine the good runner, the great runners, and perhaps the former runners for those who cannot deal with successfully (or evade successfully) the consequences of their singular objective will simply fade away from it all and go on to less arduous pursuits. There has probably never been one yet who has done so, however, without leaving a part of himself there in the quiet tiled solace of the early afternoon locker room, knotting his loathsome smelling laces for yet another, jesus god, ten-miler with the boys. Once a runner" Saturday, December 31, 2005
So here we are, at the end of one year and the begining of another. It's almost like that song closing time by semi-sonic. Last night was a crazy night. We had a little drama on the drive home, then at McDonalds some random guys just hoped in my car. They lived close by so I dropped them off but the one guy started getting really loud with my friend. At the time I didn't want a fight to happen so I tried to get that guy out of my car as fast as I could. The guy was kind of big and extremely unstable and fucked up. Looking back we should have gave him the old g-city beat down. But anyway, hopefully tonight will be fun. I'm probably gonna have to walk home if you know what I mean.
Wednednesday, October 26, 2005. Wow, it appears there have actually been some people happening to come accross my webpage. I haven't worked on it in a while. Some people even noticed I have a new layout, so maybe some people have been visiting every so often, now I feel bad for not having worked on it in a while. Sometime after I made that post on March 30th, I stopped running for a while. I started running again in the summer. I was told if I kept on running I would get a stress fracture. My teamates make fun of me for having stopped running before getting a stress fracture. My friends that I grew up with make fun of me for running and they make fun of this website. After this semester it seems I will only need four more classes to graduate. One of the classes I'm taking is to get rid of an F I got last year. My GPA is only a 2.6 so unless I do something miraculous this semester and this spring, I probably won't be able to get accepted to any grad school worth going to, including my own university's grad school(It looks like my school is more competitive then I thought). If my GPA goes below 2.5 I could get kicked out of my program. I have lots of B's and B-'s. I have one C, one C- and 1 C+. Those 3 c's and the F hurt me and will most likely keep me out of grad school. I'm starting to regret all those papers I started just hours before class and the countless test which I didn't study for, didn't pay attention in class, and didn't read any of the material what-so-ever. I'm crazy like that, I can pass tests with no knowledge about what the content is and still pass. I guess I'm fundamentally lazy, but that would be in-accurate. I like to read a lot. Most of what I read has little to do with my classes, but I have read so much that I accumulated enough information over time that I have sufficient knowledge to pass tests on a large range of discliplines. My running is hit and miss this year. I was 17 seconds faster this year then last year on one of the courses we ran. The top guys on my team improved about a minute faster. They trained more then me. I'm the fifth guy on the team. We have a large gap in our pack right now. The pressure is on me to do well in the last few meets of the season but...
Tuesday, March 30, 2005. My shins hurt sort of bad today and really bad yesterday. I ran a workout yesterday. I went to Alcyon park and did 4 loops hard. Today I ran to P-woods. I took the high trail by the golf course till it came near the road then cut in over towards the big log stream crossing. I saw a big green A-frame tent in the woods again. It seems like every time I go into the forest I never take the same exact trails every time, it's kind of weird.
Sunday, March 27, 2005. Well, I've ran many miles since my last update. On Friday, March 18 I ran a new 5K PR of 16:01.77 and on Friday, March 25 I ran my first track 10K in 33:52. Today I ran in 50 minutes what used to take me an hour and coming back I ran in 48:42 for a total of 1:38:42 for my long run. The entire run was below 70% of my maximum heart rate.
Sunday, January 9, 2005. I ran a 5K time trial in 16:41. Sometime after I ran that 17 mile run I took about two weeks off. Today is the 12th straight day I've ran. I think I will have a good spring track season, hopefully demolish 16 minutes.
Sunday, January 9, 2005. I ran a 5K time trial in 16:41. Sometime after I ran that 17 mile run I took about two weeks off. Today is the 12th straight day I've ran. I think I will have a good spring track season, hopefully demolish 16 minutes.
Sunday, December 11. I ran 17 miles today. This might be the most I've ever ran in a single run.
Monday, November 22. I didn't run today. I think I might, just so I can put things in perspective. I went for a 45 minute run. I went down Carpentar and made a right at the blinking light at J.C. Cooks. Then I made a right at the Heritage intersection and went through main street Pitman. I then beared left down next to the tracks and came up out again on Carpentar and made a right back up to school. It was a nice bitter-sweet run.
Sunday, November 21. I ran 50 minutes today. My legs felt a little dead. It's funny how I feel pretty blah sometimes during training, sometimes for long stretches. Maybe it's time I put the hrm back on my chest so I don't go to hard. I think I'm just gonna do that and go easy, and run about 75-80% twice a week, that way hopefully my 70% will eventually become wickedly fast. My knee isn't feeling great right now either. I have to start stretching more. Some guys on the team ran a race today, the Rothman 8K in Philadelphia. Also, Sean Mick ran in the Marathon and finished in 7th place. Sean is a Rowan graduate and sometimes we run into eachother out on the runs. Apparently he quietly trained for this race for the past 6 months. He didn't let many people know he was running it. Jason and I were over his and Hughes's house last night to see if they had any running movies we could borrow and they never mentioned anything about the race, pure awesomness.
Saturday, November 20. I ran in the evening with Jason for half an hour, then we went straight to dinner. After dinner we went over to Hughes house to ask to borrow some movies, he and Sean hooked us up with a movie called On The Edge and Fire On The Track. We went back to my apartment and ate some Wendy's, I had 3 cokes and a beer. We went for a run after that through Pitman Golf Course. I'm gonna have to remeber to take a girl out on the golf course some random night, I think it would be a cool place to take a girl, anyway it's 2am and I'm about to hit the hay. Some guys are running a race tomorrow. Not me, I'm probably gonna run for an 1 1/2 hours then go swimming for an hour. I also have to study for a final exam.
Friday, November 19. I ran to P-woods by myself. Then I took a shower and then I went swimming later on. A while later my friend Nick came up from Mcguire to take me back to Gloucester so we could go to a bar. Me Nick and Steve hit up Pennant East. We had about 8 beers a peice and about 4 shots in about 3 hours. It was nice.
Thursday, November 18. We had a team meeting. After that we ran for 42 minutes. I w
Wednesday, November 17. I may have taken the day off, I can't remember. I remember I went home in the morning, I might have ran before I went home.
Tuesday, November 16. A guy from my town died in Iraq today. His name is Marc Ryan. He used to live across the street from me. His mom used to watch my brother and I when we were little. He was a good guy. He was an all star football player and the captain of the football team.
For our run today we ran to Washington lake park. Me and a two other guys hammered the last two miles home. We ran for 55 minutes.
Monday, November, 15. I ran this glorious day with Fletch. We ran alone because I got to practice late and the rest of the team didn't wait to see if anyone else would show up. We had a pretty nice run, we went through the land of no return, orchards, and unknown territory, all in all a nice 57 minute and 45 second run. I can't wait to start piling on the miles. I'm really looking foward to having a great winter of training. I'm feeling awesome right now.
Sunday, November, 14. I took this glorious day off from running and swam some laps in the pool instead.
Saturday, November 13. We got up around 7am today. I rolled out of bed, brushed my teeth, grabbed my gym bag and headed downstairs to breakfast. I had an untoasted bagel with cream cheese, aye, with apple juice. After that we checked out and loaded onto the bus. On the bus we put our race numbers on. I fell asleep on the bus ride to St. Lawerence. We got there nice and early so we chilled out in the gym for a while. After chilling for about an hour or two we broke into our warm up run. It was cold outside and the course was frozen. We did a couple of miles then headed back into the gym to stretch. We went out to the start line about 15 minutes before the gun. My stomach was in knots and I was freezing. Once we got to the start line I did some striders, jogged in place and jumped up and down to stay warm. With 3 minutes to go before the gun we broke down to our shorts and singlets. It was very cold. We did our boro cheer about 60 yards out from the start then strided back. Then the gun went of a few minutes later. I felt wired up after the gun went. I immediately fell to about 180th place. I passed lots of people through the first mile. it was in 5:24 but it felt much faster than that. I hit the 2 mile in 11:05, I hit 4 miles in 22:08. I ran my last mile in 5:09. I have no idea how I ran my last mile so fast. I felt horrible after crossing the finish line. I ran my second fastest 8K XC time of my life, 27:17. I hurt really bad, I was surprised I ran that fast. I never hurt more in my life after any race. This race hurt me bad. I took a long time for the pain to finally go away. Fletch gave me some advil on the bus ride home, and after a couple of hours it worked it's magic and I began feeling better. Fletch saved a lot of lives this weekend. Even though the team seemed mostly dissappointed, I think we ran very well. The bus ride home took a long time, but not as long as we thought it might.
Friday, November 12. On this glorious day we drove back to the US to run on the St. Lawerence XC course. The checked for our documents. All I had was my drivers license, so they asked me if I was born in the US. Born and raised. We eventually got to the XC course. We ran slightly more than 5 miles. It was another fiercly cold run. I felt horrible. My legs felt dead, I didn't seem like it was looking good for tomorrow's race. After running we proceeded to lunch. The girls split up and ate at a deli and a chinese food place. We went to some place called Jreks. I got a turkey and cheese "sub." I was nice and stuffed. We then drove back to Canada. Once there some of the guys got their hair buzzed up a bit. After that we went out to dinner with the girls team. I got speghetti and meatballs. It was good enough. We hit up SuperC again. After that we horsed around the hotel for a little bit then hit the hay around 11pm.
Thursday, November 11. Woke up at 5am. Spent the whole day on a bus with my team. We stopped in Canton, NY to run on the course. The course was muddy so we didn't run. We drove the rest of the way to Cornwall, Canada. They let us across the border without really checking us. After arriving at Cornwall we changed into our running clothes to run. Most of us still haven't had anything substantial to eat for over 12 hours. We ran for about 35 minutes around Cornwall. The sun had already set. It was very cold. I only wore shorts and a sweatshirt. I froze body parts I didn't know I had. After running we cleaned up and went to dinner. Canadian portions are small and taxes are high, aye. My food was good, aye, but I don't know how much the rest of the guys enjoyed their food, aye. We went to a SuperC market to get more food after dinner to eat a second dinner because we were all very hungry.
Wednesday, November 10. I worked all day on various projects, the most significant one being a project for advertising. I didn't get a chance to run. I then went to advertising class from 7:25 to 9:55. For the most of the first part of class I was on the phone with my dad, coach and teamates because we're leaving for Canada tomorrow I couldn't get my birth certificate or proof of residency in time. All I have is my driver's license (which I needed my birth certificate to obtain anyway). I packed after I came back to class. I went to bed around 12am, but I couldn't fall asleep. I finally feel to sleep around 3:00-3:30am, I woke up at 5:30am.
Tuesday, November 9. For some reason I believe I ran this run alone, then again, maybe not. I can't remember this run. For some reason I think we ran to the lost world and back.
Monday, November 8. I ran 20 minutes to the regular park. We did a full 1-lapper at a little faster than race pace, then 4 minute rest, then a hard lap around the soccer field. 2 minute rest. Repeat. Then we did two more laps around the soccer field. 4:19, 65, 4:11, 64, 61, 60. On the 61 lap we were in a group halfway around and I said it's like Jurassic Park!. Everyone laughed. I was serious, it was a pretty cool stampede we had going on. 20 minutes down. On the way back I talked to Bos about what I should do in the race on Saturday, and then what to do on the off-season so I can be really strong, especially this spring and next year.
Sunday, November 7. I ran a 52 minute evening run down carpenter into the p-woods and back, parker pace.
Saturday, November 6. I ran 23 mins out and 21 back. Went to the mall Jay, Ralph, Scuba and his girl. There's a couple of nice sounding parties tonight, but I don't think I'm going to go to either. Looking back on the October 19th workout, I was really strong on that day. I don't feel that fast now. I ran a really great race at Stockton and ran a PR, but now that seems so far behind me. October 19 was probably on of the best workouts I've ever ran. I can't wait to start training for real again, that's where the magic happens. Maybe we haven't been doing enough anaerobic work. It's the end of the season now and we haven't really done any digging into dirt 400's and 800's and that kind of stuff.
Friday. November 5. I missed getting a ride to do a workout at GCC. So I worked out on my own. The plan was to run a 16:30 5K, then bang out what I thought was supposed to be 2 800's. I did a 15 minute warm-up. Put my spikes on and starting banging out 1:20's. (the idea was to run each progressive mile faster and faster). I got through 8 laps at 10:40 then the windy front back stretch became to much of a battle and I ran the 9th lap in 1:27(slow) so I quit the 5K right there. I took a little rest and ran a 2:24 800, then took a rest and ran a 70 sec 400. Then I did a 15 minute warm-down. I thought I was in plenty of fitness to handle a 16:30. I don't know what it was. Watched the soccer team lose to our RSU, one of our rivals in NJAC. Went to the bar, had a couple beers, left and went to bed.
Thurzday. November 4. It was cold and rainy, we didn't run. We didn't want to risk anything. Some guys ran anyway.
Wednesday, November 3.. I don't remember Wednesday. ahhhhh, yes I remember Wednesday, I held back I didn't run as fast as the rest of the team.
Tuesday, November 2nd. I ran. I voted. Workout: 3 sets of 1000m, 200m rest, 600m. Then 2 X 400m. The 1000's were 3:10, 3:08 and 3:06. I didn't get my 600m splits. 400's at 63.
Monday, November 1st. 55 minute run at a pretty quick pace. I'm going to feel this in tomorrow's workout.
Sunday, October 31st. Halloween. I was going to run in the early afternoon. I waited all day to run because a teammate wanted me to wait for him. Then he bailed out. I only ran for 55 minutes for Halloween evening. It was a cool evening, kids and parents were out trick or treating. It smelled like fall. As I was running I began reflecting back on my younger days and I began to think about how I want to be a teacher. I think I finally made up my mind on what I want to do in life. As I ran I was thinking back on my high school days and how I should have put more into it. I need to stop being lazy, if I want to be a teacher I have got to change my life around and start being a role model. I think I'd really like to try to show people than can be more than what they are, because I think that's what being human is all about, trying to reach our full potentials. I think I could achieve more if I put more of myself into it. Back in Gloucester County I carried a 3.66 GPA one semester, when I actually studied once in a while and tried.
Saturday, October 30th. NJAC Championships. 26:46, a new PR. 14th overall, 5th on the team. Our team came in second place behind a nationally ranked TCNJ squad. Almost every man on the team ran a PR.
Friday, October 29th. Easy 30 minute run. 4 Striders starting slowly going into full sprint for about 1 second then easy coming back down again. I feel like a beast. Tomorrow I'm going for a 40 second PR. Already this year I have run a 57 second PR. That would be a 1:40 off my best time after taking a year off. That would be unheard of but I'm going to try to do it. I'm aiming for a 14:20 this spring, the only way I can do it is by training harder than I ever have before and by going big when it counts. Today instead of going to the Olive Garden with the team (I would have if circumstances allowed it) I went over the house of two Rowan Alumni and some other runners from GCC and had some pasta and stuff. They talked about how things were and how things could. It was all in all a good day. I've been feeling a sore throat coming on again. It won't; I won't let it bother me tomorrow. Time to rest up for tomorrow's big race, the NJAC XC championship. The powerhouse, TCNJ, will be in the meet. Our chances of beating them are small, but we're going to try to mix it up with them a little bit to try to get some respect. I also got my keys back today so I have one less thing to stress about. This winter I'm going to put in some miles that will hopefully let my know what kind of talent I have so I can see if 14:20 can be a reality. If I could get that kind of speed going then maybe I'll have a chance at taking something at nationals, who knows. But still I have to go one step at a time.
Thursday, October 28. Easy workout. 15 up. 5 X 600 at race pace with full rest. 15 down. I feel ready for Saturday. My knee is feeling pretty good now. I seriously don't know why the heck I have this webpage, it's pretty self-absorbed, some may say that about poetry too. How can this be justified? I guess it comes down to social theory, some believe that people are essentially selfish, concerned foremost with their own survival. Would you give your life to save someone else's? I seriously don't know if I would. I guess it would depend on who that person is.
Wednesday, October 27. Easy day, 50 minutes. My knee hurt much less today, still a little tight throughout the IT band area. Total lunar eclipse tonight prevented me from hitting the hay as early as I would have liked.
Tuesday, October 26. I met Ringo today, he's a cool guy. I was in talking to the coach to help him out with his computer and Ringo dropped in. It was cool to shake the hand of an Olympian. I've met some pretty cool people since I've been on the team. My knee hurt last night while I was trying to sleep. Just two more races out of it is all I need, three more if we have a miracle.
Monday, October 25. Easy run. It was supposed to be 50 minutes, but Jason and I weren't feeling the pace today so we dropped of the back. I don't think the other guys are liking us taking it easy on the easy days but it's how I'm trying to keep my knee surviving. My knee hurt today.
Sunday, October 24. I'm 22 today. Today I met the team at 10am and we drove to Stockton in a massive caravan of two cars, then we smolished 10 miles by running the NJAC course twice. Then we drove back to Boro' and hit up PB's. I just got back as a matter in fact. I had a 3 hot cakes, 2 eggs and a milkshake.
Saturday, October 23. We won the Cross Country Collegiate Track Conference Championships. Our top 5 guys were all in the top 20. I was 15th overall and third for the team. I started out from the back of the race. In the first mile we all held back and ran in a pack of 9. I finally let loose in the last mile. I ran a 28:24 for my time. That's my third fastest time ever. I ran the first 4 miles in 23:06, the last mile I must have ran about 5:18 or so.
Friday, October 22nd. Threw my keys down at 3:30 at the coaches office. Went out for a nice 40 minute pre-race run. Came back, the keys were gone. So now I don't have my car keys, apartment key, house key or anything else I need to live. Oh well, I guess there are thieves in my school. Now I know. Hopefully I'll have a good race tomorrow. It sucks, when you lose your key you have to pay $75. So not only did someone steal my keys they also cost me 75 dollars.
Thursday, October 21st. Nice shake out. About 15 up. 8 X +/-400m hill repeats. 10 X 120m strides. About 15 down. I need to get a person to interview for school. I can't find anyone. I'm going to have to find a way to drop this class. This weekend we're going have a big one out in PA. A lot of teams will be there, we got a good shot at being number one. I've been the fifth man in the races I've ran so far, but I got guys coming up strong behind me. I don't care, as long as I can contribute something and keep getting better. I'd still like very much to be in the top 7 though, but it's not going to be easy by any stretch.
Wednesday, October 20th. Easy run with the team through the orchards. Then they busted up Carpenter Street. I wasn't feeling the street style so I went out by the landfill, stream and woods. I came out of Glassboro HS while they were coming up carpenter so we reunited. Then we headed the last 3 minutes up to the athletic building together. It was about 10-15 of solitude and about 40 minutes of togetherness so it was all good.
Tuesday, October 19th. Workout.
Monday, October 18th. I haven't done much lately. We have a big race this weekend, the CTC's as they call them. Hopefully I'll run good. My knee hurts and has been hurting. I lifted again tonight and swam yesterday. I haven't done that since I got sick October 2nd. I'm still coughing sometimes. My throat still bothers me sometimes. I'm almost looking forward to getting the season over with at this point so I can do Lydiard style training to prepare for spring track as well as lift weights and swim several times a week. I want to train about 15 hours a week. I want to be a machine; unbeatable at all distances from 800m to 5000m. I believe it was September 14th and especially the 16th when my knee really started to bother me again. Oh well, once winter comes around I'll be able to focus more on stretching and getting everything in order again. Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to do everything I can this fall for the team. Certain teams are looking frighteningly solid in our conference and especially region.
Thursday, October 7th. We ran at the Salisbury invitational on October 2nd. Our team finished 4th out of I forget how many teams. I ran a PR of 27:21 for the 8K. I was the fifth man on the team. Now I'm sick with some kind of virus. I initially got a sore throat on Saturday. I didn't run on Sunday. I didn't run yesterday or today and I didn't and won't get in any good workouts. I feel lousy. Chances are I'm going to run horribly this weekend. I also made a couple changes on my web page. I'm doing away with body attributes and defining them with CSS. Also on my index.html page I used CSS to define the background image instead of using body tags. Body tags seem to be getting phased out. I would do more with style sheets but I lack the spare time to learn more about them.
Tuesday, September 28. Time for another update. We ran at the NYU Invitational on September 185h. We placed 4th out of 26 teams. I finished 5th on my team and 44/48 overall. I ran a 28:50. Lately my knee has been hurting pretty bad. I ditched today's workout during the warm-up to run an easy 50 minutes. It's what I had to do and I can't, I won't regret it. We're running in Maryland this Saturday. I'm doing what I can to stay up on my school work as well as run well. I've been eating a heck of a lot of food lately and I've gained about 5 pounds this month. I'm still skinny though so it must be muscle. I also started swimming twice a week and lifting weights twice a week. Swimming takes a lot of my breath away, and now when I run I feel like it takes me less wind to maintain the same pace. If I'm right the hopefully by November I can make some big results. My goal is not to become the fastest person on my team, my goal is to run a 14:20 5K.
Monday, September 13. Morning - Well, I missed the bus for my first race on Saturday. My classes are ok. Really nothing extremely hard, but the professors take themselves very seriously. They are people who know and are involved in the field so at least they aren't plastering us with anything useless. Yesterday I ran 14 miles with the team and coming back we ran really hard. My computer is running pretty good... the way a computer is supposed to run. The Intel motherboard I got is working pretty well, the way motherboards are supposed to work. --- Evening. We ran 10 miles today. It was nice. We ran on a nice trail. It goes from Elk to Bridgeton. It was comfortable gravel. It was nice cruise pace. Tomorrow probably won't be easy. We'll most likely be going hard at Alcyon Lake Park.
Sunday, September 12. J.A. Ran 14 miles.
Tuesday, September 7. Krazyness. We ran breakneck road today. I ran a very hilly 6 miles in 35:29. It was tough. Even though I took the last three days off from running I feel ready to roll for the season. I'm hoping to be some kind of lean missile by the end of the season ready to conquer miles of racing through the cool comfort of October and the cold winds of November. Hopefully my knee(s) will stay strong, it is my only serious worry. Every year it's something else that worries me or limits what I can do. One of these days it will be pure no holds barred, that's when I will experience the breakthrough beyond all expectation. We are a loaded team of beasts. Hopefully we'll stomp on the competition this season.
Monday, September 6. Labor Day. I've been living at Rowan since my last post. When I brought my computer to school it wouldn't work. I bought a new mother board and reformatted my hard drive. Everything is working well now. I'm on the Rowan XC team. They run pretty fast and got some pretty quick guys up there in the top 5. I'd like to try to work my way up into the top 5. They run at pretty beast speeds up here every day. My legs killed me for the first week. I missed the last two days of practice for good reason :) I'm going to miss practice today also because I'm going over my Aunt's for a little Labor Day celebration. I'm looking forward to the school year.
Thursday, August 26. I slept at home last night. I stayed up until 4:30am trying to get my computer to work. The biggest problems were from the sound card. My bro said in the past when he has built computers it is the sound card that causes most of the problems. My bro did a lot of the work on my computer and showed me what he is doing so maybe I know how to work on it and fix it. I got a pretty good deal on the parts I ordered but we had a little bit of trouble. The lowest quality part I ordered was the case. It came with a cheap 450W power supply. We took it out and replaced it with an older better quality 350W power supply. To get my sound card to work I didn't use the drivers it came with. I didn't let windows try to install its driver either. I went to the web site of the sound card and downloaded their newest driver. It finally worked. It would suck if my computer didn't have sound. It's kind of neat having my own computer after years upon years of using my family computer. My bro donated some parts which we built my computer around. He donated a Tyan Trinity 400 mother board. It's a PC133 ATX board. He also gave me a Pentium III with a cooler, memory, video card and a Ethernet card. Next year I'm going to update everything but the Ethernet card and then I'll have a really crazy computer capable of much.
Tuesday, August 24. Krazienis. Sunday, August 22 was my last day of work. I move into Rowan tomorrow. My brother gave me an old PC133 mother board, video card, CPU and memory. So I ordered a Samsung CD-R/RW, DVD combo drive, a turtle beach sound card, a cheap case with a window and neon stuff with a 450W power supply, 5 piece 95 watt RMS speakers with sub woofer, a Seagate 40 gig hard drive, a NEC/Mitsubishi 17" monitor, a PS/2 keyboard/optical mouse combo and ummm I think that's it. Everything came to my house today besides my case. I don't know where my case is and when it will come in. It'll most likely be here tomorrow, but I won't so I'll have to drive home and pick it up. I went to court today to pay a $25 parking offense and a $48 unregistered vehicle offense. Yeah, I'm a law breaker alright (can you detect the sarcasm?). I still didn't get a meal plan. I still haven't finished packing. It's almost 5pm. I haven't finished cleaning my room or shopping. I do my best when I'm close to a deadline.
Thursday, 7/9. Crazyness. Well, last week I only hit 49 or something. This week might be over 60 again if I get lucky. I haven't been going to bed as soon and waking up as early as I was when I hit the 65 mile week. Today I ran 13 miles. My back hurt at some point after my run. I got done running and taking a shower around 8. I went to a bar with my friend around 8:30. I had a cheese steak and a few beers and fries. I got home around 10:30-11. I was nice to hang out for a while and throw back a few. I haven't seen much of my friends lately; I've just been working and running, making money, and aerobic fitness. I'm trying to put off the short term for the long term. I must have been pretty dehydrated after my run. I drank two Gatorades and didn't piss. I then drank three beers and finally pissed... a little. Most people think its sick talking about piss, but any half-way serious runner knows you can tell a lot about yourself by checking the color and clearness of your urine. I get depressed during school from all of the stress and pressure I put on myself to do well, then by June and July I'm depressed again by lack of stress. Lack of stress creates stress. I remember a little more than a year ago... I hurt my knee and couldn't run. My thighs began to hurt so bad I couldn't sleep. I ran hard for 10 months and suddenly stopped running, the detraining hurt my legs.
Wednesday, 6/30. Crazyness. I haven't posted in over a week. Counting Sunday as the last day of my training week, I closed the week with 65 miles. That's probably the most I've ever ran in a single week. This week I'm aiming for around 50. Next week 65, then 72 then 78 and back down again. I need to get my body used to going to be earlier. Running and working and sometimes running again every day starts to wear a man down, so I took Monday off. Hopefully running 50 this week will give me a little recharge. Oh, today I ran 5 in the morning and 5 after work. Tomorrow I'm thinking 5 miles am and 8 miles pm, or something like that. I'm nearly 22, pretty soon I'll be 23. I feel old, kind of. I feel like the same person I was when I was 6. I just have a little more experience, that's about it.
Monday, 6/21. I ran 8 miles today. Yesterday I finished off the week with 60.5 miles (I begin my training weeks with Monday and end with Sunday. I was going to run a double tonight but I changed my oil. The last time I changed my oil I took it to a service station (Never Again!). The guy at the station put way too much oil in last time (like 2 quarts over the mark) and he put the filter on ridiculously tight. I warmed up my engine, took of the oil cap on the valve cover, opened the plug on the oil pan and let it drain. I then reached my hand through the engine and attempted to screw off the filter. It was on there tight! I couldn't get the damn thing off. I let the engine cool even more then used all my might to get the filter off (I couldn't fit a strap wrench in the tight space, there isn't even enough room to use the screw driver in the last case scenario method so I had to get this thing off by hand). I only changed my oil at a service station once, I'll never do it again. I went to a Mobil station and they didn't even use a Mobil filter (they probably didn't use mobile oit either). When I changed my oil today I used 3.4 quarts of Quaker State high mileage and .5 quarts of Mobil 1. After I consume some oil I'm going to top it off with Mobil 1. I'm going to slowly convert my car to use nothing but Mobil 1. Mobil 1 is the bench mark of synthetic oil.
Saturday, 6/19. I went for an 8 mile run not long ago. Its 5:20 and I have work at 6pm. Yesterday was graduation day at High School. The people who graduated yesterday were freshmen when I was senior. I can't believe how much time has passed already. I didn't go to the ceremonies, I was at work. It was a hard night of work and I felt the effects of it on my run this morning. I've run 52.5 miles so far this week. Tomorrow will make it 60.5 miles. I've been heart rate monitor training since May 11 and I ran about a month before that. This is the earliest I've ever started to train for cross country and this is the most I've ever trained during the summer. Hopefully it'll all pay off. I'm hoping these miles of base will keep me from getting injured again. I know it sounds shallow, but one of the lowest points in my life was when I hurt my knee last spring and couldn't train last summer. I'd like to be running comfortably in the 25 minute zone in November for 8K XC races. I also started running doubles. I ran one last week and one on Thursday this week. I'll be steadily adding more of these into my weeks until I hit 80 miles a week.
Thursday, 5/27. I ran another 7 today. My legs felt better today than they did yesterday, but they still bother me. I try to avoid taking days off but I think it's time for a day off. Tomorrow will be an off day. Taking a day off is a very hard thing to do. Hopefully I won't be taking to many off days. Maybe I should just run in the woods and run by time and heart rate and forget mileage for a little while and only run for mileage a few days a week and run in the woods for the rest of the days.
Wednesday, 5/26. I tried running "only 4.69 miles" on Monday to recover from the 12 mile excursion I did on Sunday. I was kind of sore on during that run. Tuesday I ran 7.38 miles after doing a few hours of yard work at my grand moms. I also did a "double" yard work and running on Saturday, plus I drank a lot of beer because my friend came home from the Air Force and they had a big party for him. Yesterday night I went to club and drank a few beers. Today my muscles were hurting, all up and down and around my thighs and quads. I felt like crap this morning so I had a couple bowls of cereal. Then I ate. I ate. Finally I ran in the evening when I was feeling loose. After the run I had two slices of pizza, a vitamin and a protein shake. Hopefully tomorrow I'll feel better. I'd really prefer not to take a day off. I dread and avoid off days. I've been in much worse pain before, but this pain is different. It's not lactic acid pain, this pain is much different, it's deep, it's down to the bone, lactic acid pain goes away after a couple of hours of rest and some food and water. This pain lingers. I guess it's my slow twitch muscles saying: "Hello, nice to meet you!" I think also my cardio-vascular system's shape is improving at a faster rate than my skeletal-muscular system. Even though my cardio-vascular system had no trouble pushing me along 7.38 miles at a 7:47 pace, my muscles said running for well over a half hour for several weeks is tough.
-Sunday, 5/23. Much has changed since the last post. I've been running steadily. I have begun heart rate monitor training. I started HRM training on Tuesday, 5/11 following agony of the previous day. It has changed everything. My run on Tuesday I ran at my estimated max HR of 195 yielding 154 beats for 70%. I ran 4.7 miles that day in over 10 minutes a mile. My probably max heart rate is actually 187 beats a minute yielding 148.5 for my 70% ceiling. After running with it for the remainder of the week I was down to low 8 min/mile pace for 7 mile runs. Because it is very hot outside and a lot of my runs are in 90 plus degree heat, my 70% has been staying around 8-9 min/miles. On cool days (around 80 degrees) I run in the mid to high 7's for 70%. Today I ran 11 1/2 to 12 miles in 1 hour and 40 minutes. It is so crazy; there is no way I could have done that run two weeks ago at the intensity level I was running. I'm pretty confident about going 80 plus miles a week later in the summer. I'm lifting twice a week and getting stronger week by week. I'm pushing beyond plateaus right now. I'm going to come back into running a totally new man.
-Monday, 5/10. I also ran 7 last Thursday and Friday. On Saturday I ran over an hour in the woods. It was at least 7 miles. Everything combined, I probably ran over 50 miles for the week. I took Sunday off hoping to take care of pain. Today I felt really crappy. I woke up late, cut grass for a couple hours then I ran for 7 miles. I ran 56:52. It hurt pretty bad. I pushed the last couple of miles when I should have been taking it real easy. The only thing I ate all day was an orange, a small pack of chips ahoy and a 20 oz of diet root beer. After my run I ate another orange. I ate a Boca burger and a granola bar after that. Then I drank some soy protein and took some amino acids. I think it's getting critical that I start doing the heart rate training
-Wednesday, 5/5. Today I ran another 7 miles. I felt good when I woke up today, but when I went out on my warm-up run I was uncharacteristically tight. Maybe it's from running 7 miles yesterday than bicycling another 12. Maybe it's from who gives a flying you know what. I then ate some food then lifted a little while later. I felt crappy while I was lifting. Even though I felt tired my muscles seemed to have plenty of motivation, my muscles easily benched 85 pounds 30 times. I was probably more mentally tired than physically. I also curled 20 pounds in 3sets of 10 reps. Maybe I'll run another 7 tomorrow, or something like that.
I, for some reason, seem to be stuck on running these 7 mile runs. I guess I'm hoping that it'll get easier and my body will somehow adapt so I can conquer even farther aspirations. But it probably won't adapt. 7 miles might always feel like 7 miles. Perhaps it is time then, to begin introducing 10 and 12 mile runs into my schedule more frequently. I'll keep running 7 miles though, because it'll feel so good after running 12. I one of those people who spend countless hours scouring the internet for some little piece of running wisdom, any type of scrap that might take me to another level in my running. I think it's time I spend more time off the road, on the trails. I'm about to invest in a heart rate monitor book. I always try to push myself, even on easy runs. I'll look at my watch and say to myself "let's see if we can hit this mark at this time" and so on. I could probably run myself dead if I wanted to. I think it's time to stop racing myself when I should be running easy. I think I should start slapping on the miles and run by advice in training books in regards to heart rate monitors. I think at this point I'm going to start another page on my site. I call it something like "Project Run Faster." I'll dedicate some bytes of internet to my attempt at becoming a nationally competitive college runner.
-Tuesday, 5/4. I think I ran another 7 last Friday. I took of on Saturday. Sunday I ran 10. Yesterday I ran 4. Today I ran 7. Perhaps I'll run, hmmm I don�t know what I'll run tomorrow. I'll have to wait and see. I'm going to get some books on training with a heart rate monitor. I'm going to hook one up soon so I stop over-training and hopefully my knee and tendons will feel better instead of being chronically inflamed. I hide much of the pain that running gives me. Today I biked some of my common running loops. They were slightly longer than I had been calculating for my pace. I've been pushing harder than I should have been. Today, I decided I would run a relaxed pace, say about 8:30. I know hrm's are supposed to help you hold back so I tried to let my mind slow me down. My first mile was about 7:45. My total time for the run was 55:20 and the actual distance was 7.38 miles. That's about a 7:27 pace. My pace must have quickened to around 7 m/m. somewhere. oppps. It felt easy, real easy. Maybe I'm in slightly better shape then I think. I won't really know until I hook up the hrm
-Thursday, 4/29. On Saturday I ran 5 miles. On Sunday I ran 7 miles. On Monday I ran 7 miles and lifted weights. On Tuesday I ran 7 miles. I didn't run on Wednesday but I lifted weights. Today I ran 7 miles in 54:35. My first semester at rowan is almost over. I also noticed that I've had 3 recent visitors to my website, which I think is pretty cool. I'm mostly 50% Irish and 25% Scottish. I got a little bit of Newfoundland in me and maybe some Russian. My moms parents (my grandparents) were almost entirely Irish. My dad's dad (my grandfather was Scottish. I think my dad�s mom's ancestry can be traced back to pre revolutionary times, but I'm not sure what country they came from. I think I'm even some how related to the founders of Woodbury. I think I ended up with the Newfoundlandish because my mom�s dad�s dad was a fisherman. Newfoundland used to be a global destination for cod fishing. They have this story that one time they went far north to go fishing and winter came early. The boat got locked in ice. To survive they needed the help of the Eskimo's. My great grandmother was the cook on the boat. My great grand father told them in exchange for food they would let them have anything on the boat. They possibly had gold. They had fishing equipment, silverware, etc. My great grandmother had what was said to be a beautiful red quilt which was handmade my her mother. The Eskimo's asked for the quilt. They were reluctant to give up the quilt so said to the Eskimo's again: you can have anything you want. They gave up the quilt and I'm alive today because of it. I get my last name, Henderson from my grandfather who was born in Dundee, Scotland. He came to America when he was 6 years old. He got drafted into the U.S. Navy during World War II. He worked as an engineer on a destroyer escort. He was part of General Macarthur�s fleet that went from island to island to get closer to Japan. His ship eventually got destroyed by a kamikaze plane. I think everyone but one man survived. They were mounting up for a huge offensive to invade Japan but then Truman and science ended the war. I think a lot more people would have died if Truman didn't make that tough decision. I probably run semi fast because of the Irish in me. Everyone knows Irishmen make great distance runners.
-Friday, 4/23. It's actually Saturday now, but I just got back from a party. I don't know why I drink. It's like that movie Old School. Beer is so good when it hits the lips. Every time I drink I feel like I throw away everything I believe in. Anyway During the afternoon on Friday I ran a 5 minute warm-up, and then stretched. I then ran 4.7 miles in 31:52, which is 6:47 a mile. I ran my first mile in 7:20 and ran negative splits for the entire thing. I can't stand being out of shape and base running while everyone else is competing like I should be. All I want to do is race. Anyway I better get back to running distance at a slow pace to build a base for the fall. I feel like I'm neglecting my school work. All I need is C's to be eligible. This fall I'm going to move to Rowan. Hopefully I'll try hard and do my best academically and athletically. I need good grades and I need to run fast. I want to go to law school. Eventually I want to make a lot of money. Perhaps at some point, maybe when I retire I might want to become a senator.
- I updated on Thursday but somehow it didn't save. I'm writing on Saturday 12:00 a.m. I felt like crap on Thursday. I tried to run a 6 minute pace for five miles and I bonked. I don't know why. My body just couldn�t do it. Later that night I went to the Penn Relays to watch the OD 5000. Alan Webb ran it and won it with a time of 13:46. It was a pretty cool thing to watch. I also saw Bob Kennedy Run last year. That was also pretty amazing to watch.
-Sunday, 4/18. I ran for over an hour today with a friend I met at GCC who will be transferring to Rowan this fall. I was in the sun all day looking for my brother and his friend to sail by on his friend�s boat. I got some burn on my nose, a little on my face, hopefully it'll tan nice. I also ran an hour on the trails near GCC yesterday, played a concert, then went to a party in Philly. I also ran for an hour in the same trails on Friday. I'm tired of tracking my distance; I think I'll just go by time for a while. I feel pretty good after logging such distance in just a few days. I've got about 4 months to adjust my body to 80 mile weeks. I don't want to be a low 16 5K'er anymore. First, I have to get back to where I was, and then I have to surpass that level. My ultimate goal is to qualify for the NCAA's. My goals as a freshman at GCC were to qualify for the NJCAA's, if it takes another two years from now, then so be it. My short term goal is to just come in and make a positive difference this fall.
-Thursday, 4/15. Well, my "major" project is postponed, which is good because I only put 10 minutes of work into it before class. I'm playing a spring concert on Saturday (I think it's Saturday). Maybe I'll take advantage of the extra week I have for my project. I can get mid to high 80's on tests by two weeks of intense procrastination along with a strong tendency of not paying attention in class and not reading the text book and only studying for 15 minutes of a half hour study session. I wonder how well I'd do in college if I actually paid attention in class, read the text book, and studied. To say that I'm waiting my talents would be an understatement.
-Sunday, 4/11. Today is Easter. I've been running all week, besides today. On Thursday I have a sort of major "project" due for school. I was going to work on it yesterday but I had other moral obligations. I was going to work on it today, but I went to church and family diner to satisfy traditions and expectations. I've always been able to pull through with school so far, but I have a lot of memorizing to do for Thursday. I was never much good at memorizing. I'm 21. It seems people don't think people my age are very intelligent. It seems people don't think people my age matter in society much. I'm tired of taking a back seat. My country needs some decent people getting involved in the nuts and bolts. People consider me to be a decent person. I don't like the way things are going. I used to have faith in many things. I've been thinking a lot lately of many matters. I've been wondering a lot lately: -Wednesday, 3/7. I ran an easy three today. I'm about to go to bed, I'll run early tomorrow around 9 or 10 am. I'm going start training for a tune-up race next month. Once I start getting in 80 miles a week I'll be right up there with the best. My goal is the 2005 Penn Relays. I need to be there with the best and beat them on the track. I have to do it, there is no other way to say it. After I run tomorrow I have to study for a test. I hate tests. Once I fail school I'll try to find a 20 hour a week job in town and live with my parents and focus on nothing but running. It would be cool if I could live in a shitty apartment with a bunch of friends who make next to no money so I could just focus on running and nothing else. Running is what I'm made to do. I need to race. I'm racing next month. I may not be physically ready to rumble, but there is a strong urge for competition. I love it out there in the race... -Tuesday, 3/6. Well, I ran today for the third day straight. Every time I make a comeback attempt and fail to come back I feel like it takes a small part of me. This time I will run, regardless of academic failure or success, regardless of having a job or not. I'm 21. I'll only be this age once. It's funny, I take long periods off and I can just come out and run 5 miles out of the clear blue and feel fine the next day. Now is the time to take advantage of what I got. I lifted weights today. I'm going to start working out my abs also. It's time to get back where I was and then surpass that. I'm going to do bike New York during finals week. The following week I'm going to do the race for the cure. A month after that, I'm going to do a race held every year in my town. I think it will be a good thing if I win the race in my town. It is in June. I'm a local born and raised. Only someone who is born and raised deserves any of the pride and glory. I can be in "decent" race shape in 3 weeks, meaning I could probably bang out a 17 minute 5K. In two months I should be in 16:30 shape. Anything beyond that will require the rest of the summer, the fall, and winter to surpass. Next spring I want to be low sixteen minute shape. The spring after that I want to qualify for the NCAA's. It's there for the taking so I'm going to have a go at it.
-Thursday April 1. I'm happy to say that I completed my research paper. I also completed a six page summary for another class. It feels good getting a primary and secondary stress out of the way. I ended up using 14 books, 3 journal articles and some electronic sources for my research paper. Unfortunately I didn't get to do nearly as much revision as I would have liked to have done. I finished my paper Wednesday morning through early afternoon Wednesday and completed it just before I had to leave for class. I guess you could say I handed in a revised rough draft. Accordingly, I'm extremely worried at how it will be received. I had to go the library several times, and I had trouble finding sources on opposing view points. I would have liked to have had more time/started sooner so I could have found more sources. I divulged into some cutting edge areas to expound upon the breadth of my research and found a corresponding lack of easily available sources. Tomorrow I will try to take care of another source of stress; I have to renew my driver�s license. I then have to meet with an advisor ASAP. The coach at Rowan has secured advanced registration for my classes in the fall on the premise that I will run. I also have to dish out $200 for a housing deposit to secure a place to live in the fall. They can't guarantee that I will be housed with my friends. I really wish I spent more time on my research paper. I feel more academically motivated now though. Hopefully I can get some good grades form here on out. I need good grades because I would like to go to grad school to become a lawyer.
-Saturday 27/Sunday. Well it's actually 1:20 Sunday morning now. I finally started my research paper yesterday/this morning. The title of my research paper is "AD/HD: A Personality Trait or Disorder?� Well, so far, I haven't reached my decision on that. What I will say though, is everyone exhibits characteristics of AD/HD. I was classified with ADD back in the day. Now this "disorder" is referred to as AD/HD. I think I probably fit the primarily inattentive subtype of AD/HD. I'm so sure I have still have AD/HD that I'm going to make an appointment with a counselor at school to see what I should do about it. I used to think I had "fixed" myself. Now that I'm not running competitively for the time being I have realized that I've been using running as a motivation to succeed in the class room. Without this motive, my classroom success has been degrading. Running was actually being used to self treat my primarily inattentive subtype of AD/HD.
-Thursday, March 25. I've still gotten nowhere on my research paper. I can't get motivated to do anything. People can say all the want. The fire must come from within. I have to find the will to do from within myself. I'm can't take anyone's rope, I can climb the cliff myself. I'm just a grain of sand at the bottom of a very huge ocean. Very few can claim to be mountains, if anyone can make that claim. When people used to ask me who I am, I would tell them I am a student and a runner, even though I thought of myself as a good student and a good runner. I no longer tell people I am a runner or a student. I no longer think of myself as a good student or a good runner. When people ask what I do I say I quit my job and I go to Rowan. I feel like I'm losing my identification. I'm a procrastinating un-motivated I don't know what.
-Wednesday. I screwed up my upload last night. I wrote about shit weighing heavily on my mind.
-Tuesday, March 23. I didn't accomplish anything today. I have a debate on Thursday which I have to dress in formal attire. I haven't even studied my debate too much. Tomorrow I'm going to have to cram for it. I don't know what I'm going to do as far as my research paper is concerned. I'm seriously thinking about never going back to college if I fail. I don't know what I'll do at that point. I'll have to find a part time job that I like. And run. People say do what you like and study what you�re interested in. Fine, after I fail out, I'll get a part time job so I'll have plenty of time to run. I won't buy a car so I won't have money tied up in gas, insurance and maintenance. I'll find a job that allows me to use public transportation. I wish I could truthfully say Rowan is a great experience and transferring there has been a dream. But that wouldn't be the truth. I felt much more intellectually inspired at Gloucester County College than at Rowan. At Rowan I feel much uninspired. I tried to make the best of rowan early on, but I can't mentally mask it anymore. I tried to tell myself I'll learn to like it, but I can't. Perhaps I didn't quit my job soon enough. I just never felt mentally engaged with Rowan. I don't know anyone there
-Monday, March 22, 2004. Well today kind of sucked and it's not even over yet. I got back my exam I took in psychology of the personality before spring break. I got 18 out of 30. That's not a good test score. I'd say 25 out of 30 would be ok, but I did horrible. Maybe it's because I'm stubborn, like my mom says, and not academically challenged. I should have quit my job much sooner because I can't say I've truthfully studied or read a chapter of any book this semester. I don't know how people hold full time jobs and class schedules and get good grades. I quit my job and it hasn't made anything better. I had spring break last week and did absolutely nothing. I wanted to run and do school work, but I got some kind of shitty cold. I can't use that as an excuse because I still managed to get my ass out the door to run a few times and hang out a few nights and drink.
Running
Category: Sports
- John L. Parker Jr.
New Years Eve
Category: Life
My main goal is graduating. I'm ready to get out of college. When I graduated high school I wasn't ready. I realized why I feard graduating and growing older. I've thought about my own mortality. Fear of age is fear of death. I've dealt with my fears. I'm ready to move on. I need to move on. I'm ready to start looking for a steady job. Once I have a steady job I'll probably start looking for steady, serious relationships and eventually move out. I've made my mistakes. I didn't take high school serioulsy. I took college a little more serious then high school. I could have done much better, but I enjoyed life all the way through. I think that's what it's really all about. To enjoy life now, I need to graduate and get a job. I don't want to spend my days working 9-5, but to do the things I want, I need to contribute something(work and productivity) so I can have what I want(basic needs and higher needs satisfield).
I've got about 8 more classes to take before I graduate. I registered for four classes, I might register for another one tomorrow. On Monday I'm going to meet with my advisor and try to minor in journalism. After I graduate I want to go to graduate school for excercise physiology. There are many possible things I would like to do for a living and with and my major, minor and masters as well as a possilbe teacher certification will really keep my options open. I don't consider teaching a fall-back, I consider it to be one of the greatest careers a person could choose. It would also allow me to be a coach. In the last two years I've developed my own training philosophy and I think it could really enrich peoples lives. My philosphy is based in sciene and a degree in excercise physiology would give me credibility beyond my continually improved PRs and performance.
Workout:
20 up. We ran two laps around "the park" hard. My first lap was 4:10, it felt like I went out pretty hard but a lot of guys had a sizeable lead by the end of the first lap. In the second lap I passed quit a few guys but it was only 4:11. It felt hard though so I seems to have confirmed my feeling that we went out pretty quick. We then did a thousand meters, then 2 by 400m up hill. After that we did 8 120m striders. 20 down.
4 X 1000: 3:06, 3:08, 3:12, 3:06
2 X 400: 72, 68
1600: 5:13
I ran much slower than I thought I could. Somehow, during the coming winter I must gain speed, but there's a problem with that: I'm doing Lydiard style base training this winter. I was thinking about doing some long hard hill runs once a week at an old favorite place of mine where you can go if you want to become a runner in forested solitude. That should at least build some strength.
Faith: Righteous and wise, or foolishness in disguise?
People breathing down your back, looking for a way to pass. You take it kind of easy because it's only the first mile. You go just fast enough to stay in front. In the second mile you start to catch up with the people who started at a much quicker pace that what they can sustain. By the third mile it's just you and people like you. The race is now perfect. It's all down to guts. You see the line and become an animal. You go into tunnel vision. All you see is the tape. Your other senses kick in. You can feel a guy on your shoulder, right behind you. You open up your stride and turn your legs as fast at they'll go. You break the tape, try to stay on your feet and shake a hand and go home a champion. That's what it�s about.