Calgary, Alberta, CANADA

Cast of Characters:
Sir Phillip [ritalin boy] Berardi
Sabine [germania] Bisson
Duncan [eeeeeeeeeeeevil] Browman
Sir Ginny [Bubbles] Jones
Laina [Jones] Knorr
[Funky] Peter Lewkonia
Rebecca [the antiporn] Nelson
Sir Kara [revenue kanada] Norman
Ryan [buck naked] Petrie
Toni [the boss] Reid
Sir Kathleen [sporty spice] Wong
 
 

Name:  Sir Phillip [ritalin boy] Berardi, B.Sc.
Alias(es):  Fat bastard, mybiatch, Flip.
Sex:  Probably.
Favorite pastime:  Sex.
We became friends when... I got my ass touched by the fat bastard.
After the police maced him in the eyes (got to kick him in the kidneys),
we went for ice cream.
 Check out flip:   http://www.oocities.org/philberardi
Sir Flip's 7 Relevant Jeopardy categories:
Cougars,
Beer,
Genital herpes,
Creative urination,
Italian dining,
Italy,
Mary Jane.
Sir Phillip's alternate identity:
Ron Jeremy eats a big bag of icing sugar.  Party on, Phil.

Phil enjoys cougar hunting, and long strolls
down the catwalk on ladies night.
 

Name:  Duncan [eeeeeeeeeeeeevil] Browman, B.Sc.,
B.A. English (haha), Ph.D.
Alias(es):  Dr. Evil, spunkan.
Sex:  Yeah.  M.
Favorite pastime:  Ultimate.
We became friends when... we were on tour in 'Nam.
We smoked drugs on the beach until 1998... by that time,
the war was over.
Dunc's 7 Relevant Jeopardy categories:
Girls,
p53,
Skiing,
 My roommate Chris
(sometimes I call him Christine),
Warren G,
Socializing,
Corndogs.
Duncan's alternate identity:
Dr. Evil on sodium pentathol...
Duncan rules (the world!).
 
 

 Name:  Sir Ginny [Bubbles] Jones, B.Sc., Ph.D.
Alias(es):  CUUUUUUULLLLOOOOOOOW.
Sex:  F.
Favorite pastime:  Playing with Sheilagh and Doug.
We became friends when...  I moved up to Calgary.
We share an office.  She feeds me bananas, I almost died.
Gin's 7 Relevant Jeopardy categories:
Sheilagh,
the Actin cytoskeleton,
Beer,
My truck ran over your car,
Field hockey,
Track and field,
the Fine Arts.
Ginny's alternate identity:
Rock superstar!
(as a member of the CBRG glee club)
 
 

 Name:  Laina [Jones] Knorr, B.Sc., M.D.
Alias(es):  Drainz, Laino.
Sex:  F.
Favorite pastime:  Tae bowing to Celine Dion.
We became friends when...  I dragged her home drunk at 6am
to her mommy in Lethbridge.  Also, road trip to Wainwright.
Laino's 7 Relevant Jeopardy categories:
StreetfighterII turbo,
Lethbridge,
Rugby brane dmaage,
HPLC,
Slowpitch,
Tae Bo,
Celine Dion.
Laina's alternate identity:
Laino, the princess knorrior.
Using Tae Bo to fight wordly injustice.
 
 

 
 

 

  Name:  [Funky] Peter Lewkonia, B.Sc.
Alias(es):  WAAASSSSSSZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAB.
Sex:  M.
Favorite pastime:  Contemplating his favorite Sclub7 girl.
We became friends when...  road trip to Edmonton.
Peter wouldn't even give me a second glance when we first met.
It's hard to believe we're so close.
Check out Pfunk:   For the latest in molecular sodomy,
http://members.xoom.com/telepetey/index.htm
PT's 7 Relevant Jeopardy categories:
Telemarks,
Soccer,
Light cycling PCR,
COSTCO,
Star Wars,
MP3,
My PC.
Peter's alternate identity:
Commander Data.  Don't ask.
 

Pick up my skiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss.
Petey skiing concussion/Fernie (double black)
on broken telemarkz.
 

Name:  Rebecca [the antiporn] Nelson, B.Sc.
Alias(es):  Lecca, Lecky.
Sex:  F.
Favorite pastime:  Aerobix, skiing, sports.
We became friends when...  I was crying softly in a dark corner one day.
Lecca comforted me and helped me blow my nose.
Lecca's 7 Relevant Jeopardy categories:
Aerobix,
Skiing,
Shania,
Relationships,
Grape crush,
Jazz,
Squash.
Lecca's alternate identity:
Nike, the goddess of:  a) long-distance running
b) East Asian slave labor camps
c) foot cramps.

Name:  Sir Kara [revenue kanada] Norman, B.Sc.
Alias(es):  Special K.
Sex:  F.
Favorite pastime:  Shaving people's headz.
We became friends when... she informed me that pubic hairs on the toilet seat was bad.
She's always there to yell at me when I get lost driving in Calgary.
Sir K's 7 Relevant Jeopardy categories:
Hot tubs,
Caesars,
Warren G,
the Tragically Hip,
Reovirus,
Curious George,
the Backstreet Boys.
Sir Kara's alternate identity:
Penny, Inspector Gadget's niece with a dash of Claudia Schiffer.

 Name:  Ryan [buck naked] Petrie, B.Sc.
Alias(es):  Peaches.
Sex:  M.  Please don't make him prove it.
Favorite pastime:  Drinking, watching movies such as "the 9th gate"
and "Road to El Durado".
We became friends when...  I said so...
Rhino's 7 Relevant Jeopardy categories:
the 9th Gate,
Corndogs,
Jan Arden,
CD20,
Beer,
Beer,
Hangovers.
Ryan's alternate identity:
Jim Belushi's character in Animal house.
 

Name:  Susan [bumpy kin] Poelman, B.Sc.
Alias(es):  Sue, Suze.
Sex:  F.
Favorite pastime:  Figure skating, tennis, going to Lethbridge (?! insane?!).
We became friends when... Sue came to Calgary.
I guess we have to be friends since Sue
and my mom share the same first name.  She kicked my @ss in tennis and whupped
me with the ball, breaking me sunglasses.
Sue's 7 Relevant Jeopardy categories:
championship skating,
tennis,
integrins,
 the Honda Accord,
twizzlers,
Casperitis,
Garth, Shania, Faith, Tim McGraw...
Sue's alternate identity:
Such a sweet kid.  Probably eats a bag a sugar a day.
I'm pretty sure Sue works part-time as an auctioneer...
I like it when she yells those kickin' country tunes in my ear
(but the whiskey bottle broken over me head
is not so good).
 

Name:  Toni [the boss] Reid, B.Sc.
Alias(es):  Roni.
Sex:  F.
Favorite pastime:  Boys.
We became friends when... we went to Bamfield together in high school.
But I wasn't cool then, so she didn't talk to me at all.
Then I worked for a while in a Lethbridge laboratory slave shop with Toni,
she helped me through tough times.
Toni's 7 Relevant Jeopardy categories:
Boys,
Ben Harper/Rufus Wainwright/Paul Simon,
Drank,
Alternative film,
Music,
Coffee,
Bums.
Toni's alternate identity:
The Boy-toy acquisitioner 2000,
the latest technology in boy-toy acquisition
(now in 7 great flavors!)
 
 

Name:  Sir Kathleen [sporty spice] Wong, B.Sc.
Alias(es):  Sir.
Sex:  F.
Favorite pastime:  Golf, work.
We became friends when... Kathleen was my first Calgary friend.
She's a good friend and companion,
and I can always count on her not to barf in my car.
Kat's 7 Relevant Jeopardy categories:
Sushi,
Colgate,
Golf,
Garbage disposal,
Capital,
Lethbridge,
Family.
Kathleen's alternate identity:
A high powered business woman working
for a large multinational corporation in dealing heath and hygeine products.
 
 
 

See more friends!

Back to Timz Bargain Basement Coolmart..