Here some of you will find hope and salvation from all of the things I
think only plague you and your souls. Sit and listen for a while
as I tell you a story of the things I have, will, and want to have seen
in my lifetime, short as that may be it is. Just bear with the horrid
stuff and get offended, or not.
If the following statement offends you, do not read on.
The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog,
What a fuckin' asshole!
Hello, those of
you in net land. But That is not what I am here to talk about.
I am here to tell you a story. so sit back and think for yourself
a minute and take what you see below as face value. Read into it
if you like. Though what is there is my interpretation of my state
as well as the state of my country, and my fellows. As I see
these things. The times and dates are quit important as well as the
pseudonym I use with each so please take especially careful note of them.
Now to the subjects of my works. They are usually quite simplistic.
Most are written in freeverse so they will have no rythem, meter, rhyme,
connconance, or alliteration in them. Bear with it. None
of it is ment to be poetry. If you hate it, that's okay, your opinion,
but please drop me a line to say how I might make myself bettered.
If you like it, I will be quite surprised but please write me and tell
me why and how. These things will greatly help me to better entertain
my audience in the future.
I know that I am being a bit pecimistic
about myself but the oppinion of myself by myself remains that I will never
do anything to par in my life, so why the hell not just try anyway.
And on with the festivities!
Fade
Two days, and no one
believes me. As my killing joke is that I will blow my mind out.
I will use my arsenal to do what I need to, for myself. Selfish,
mindless, faceless, fearful, murderous, and stupid. I find myself
using my Power to hurt the weak. I feel
ugly, and stinky. Kick me, shoot me, kill me, with your lies.
I will find my way out. Over my soul. I will kill you with my power
and sanity. Don't, don't, don't, don't you fucking speak at me, Never
again willI listen to your Horrible word. You try
to sell your lies like a whore, but no one
is buying! Kill ME!
Stone me, Stab me, tie me down and beat me, Drown me, STOP ME.
let me come to an end!
1/6/98
2:16p.
A. Matthew Kreider.
Circus Crackers
Hear me. See me, Know me,
Bleed me, suck me, believe me.
I've found my answers
To all of your questions.
5
I find myself now, trying to cry.
Trying to fly, with my empty life.
You took all of my pain.
I feel all of your Shame!
No pride and/or dignity,
10
No fucking way I can live with me,
You blind me with my pain.
You leave me with the blame,
You let me fall this far!!!
Scraping, and Clawing, Thrashing, and Flailing.
15
Don't you get too close to me.
Now just wait, listen, and see.
9:56a.
1/12/98
A. Matthew Plummer
okay so I lied, the next entry should be read into as deep as you
care to go.
Chromatics
Darkness cloaks my once
bright sky: Shadowing
what should have been. Hiding all of my
light, my strength, my power, my might.
Leaving only the bleak Fearsome Dark.
A totalitarion leard of its own. Chaos insues durring the unending
Blindness. Mortals fear and tremble at the feet of an unseen, unreal
force. This Shade's power knows no bounds. Kick, and yell, and Thrash all
you will, though you can do nothing to stop this vile creature. Though
times will, or rather should come again for the Glorious
light to come again. To reign once more.
In the ever waring Battle, None shall win,
war they will, battle
won or
battle lost,
none will win the eternal struggle!
2:17a.
1/7/98
Aaran
Now if you want a life story I'll make it short. I was born, I died,
adn I am Undead. As a pathological liar you cannot believe.
The death part nearly comes true all too often. But I am too happy
to die. I make many people more joyful than they once were and I
do far more than I ever would if i were dead. I sometimes wonder
if I would be better off, but it gets shot down a lot.
Next off. My religious belief.
I am an athiest, most people think I only say it to get attention.
I don't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Though as of late I have been saying that
I worship the ancient False Got SpjÖrk, the False god of all flatware.
That is done solely to attract attention and see how many people will think
I'm crazy in one day. I believe that following any type of
orgainzed religion or cultism clouds thinking and is usually a way to lead
people like pigs by the nose. I do have one exception to this belief
though. Wiccans, I have a great trust and respect for Wiccans.
They are free thinkers, and most, sadly not all, have the proper will to
cast only good spells. I myself am not a wiccan though I have at
one time practiced Ritualistic Magick. I believe this to be a fault
in judgement now, as I have known and seen far too many people who have
been harmed and died for a lost cause of trying to find power too quickly
and in the wrong way. May their bodies lay undisturbed.
Disgracefuly Yours
I thought I might have cared,
Might have wanted,
Might have needed.
I was wrong.
5
I hope this is over soon.
Used to be mine.
I thought you were mine.
I hope this is over soon.
By killing your self,
10
You're killing my soul.
I can't handle it again.
Feeling the strain,
Of everything, piling up.
All over again.
15
Not easier this time
Even a little harder this time,
I try.
It keeps on mounting.
Keeps on Building.
20
Damn I hope this is over soon.
Killing myself,
Killing my soul.
I wish I could kill you all over again.
For causing this pain.
25
For making me have to be this way.
What is this you're putting me through?
You know what I'll do!
It can't be good!
I'll rip it right out again..
30
I'll kill it myself again.
Come on and keep your bells ringing!!!
Ascend?
It's such a beautiful song.
2:24p.
In Loving memory of Jennifer Marie Cook
Dec. 19, 1997
April 17, 1980 - December 26, 1996
Matthew A.
Plummer
Rest In Peace
Never sign your life away
on a contract with Death
note:(obscenety is evil)
In the time men died for true causes, and women stayed at home to be fucked.
We were happy. Oh sure, we've all got our hardships, but all togather
we were in a good mood. Only once did I find a patron unwilling to
do as I asked, for free, he was an ill-tempered drunk in any case, then
a day came, the day when all of the things I had ever known to be true
were put to the question. In a small year, near after a new
millinium, a young man stood on a corner, bearing rags, and a sandwithch
board, he screamed, "THE END IS NEAR, YOU WILL ALL PERISH, ALL OF YOU AR
HEATHANS!"
This started to pull a circle around the angry young man. His sandwithc
board read, John 3:16 is Shit, and "The End Is Near." Again came
a volly of angry shouts. "Where is your damned God? Why would
he forsake all of his peoples? And if it is why is your god not universal?!?"
My dear Lord, how could anyone question the existance of God? Moreover,
My god! Thinking I understood, vaugely, for all of the miracles I
have heard of , never had I seen one happen in my sight.
Then, again the young man's hollars pierced the air"Blind pigs being led
by teh nosee, all of you, listening to all of their dogma shit. Let
your clergymen do your thinking for you, be hearded like sheep!"
By now everyone in the downtown was surroundingthis angry young fellow.
I sympothised with him, I think I even understood what he was saying.
Then came more howls of blasphemy. "You do not know what you truly
believe, you say what you have been told to believe, and never stop to
ask a question, never try to decide anything for yourself! And for
that you wil Burn! You have no God! He never existed, listen
all who survive, and spread my word to all who will listen like you
blind animals do! Learn to think on your own!"
I stared on astonishedat a person vile enough to question all tha must
be true. I stared on as he made a martyr of himself. There
were over four hundred people in that croud, only seven survived.
Cound me lucky number seven. Cripled, but lucky, now I understand,
no true god would let that many of his subjets fall to the hands of a Blasphemer.
11:47a.
1/12/98
Mr. Smiley ;)