Entered Into
Super Dave's Realm
Dave
Well it's March 13 and I am having a good day. I don't have to much to say right now. I also am suppose to be doing my school work. So this is the end to my message.
Super
Dave
Here's a Joke
St. Patricks Day is coming Up!MY LAST WISH
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Two Irishmen, Murphy and O'Brian grew up in the same village together. They were friends all their lives, married a pair of sisters, and lived just down the street from one another. But now, Murphy had cancer, and was lying on his deathbed, surrounded by his friends.
He calls, "O'Brian, come 'ere O'Brian. I 'ave a request for ye." O'Brian walks to his friends bedside and kneels down.
"O'Brian, we've been friends all our lives, and now I'm dying 'ere. I 'ave one last request fir ye to do."
O'Brian bursts into tears, "Anything Murphy, anything ye wish. It's done."
"Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I'll be able to enjoy it for all eternity."
O'Brian was overcome by the beauty and true Irish spirit of his friend's request.
Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?"
THE DRINKER
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An Irishman was drinking at the pub all night. The bartender came up to him and told him that the bar was closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand up one more time with the same result. So he figured he'd just crawl outside, hang out for a while, get some fresh air and hopefully that would sober him up.
Once outside he stood up and fell again -- right on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home and when he arrived at the door he tried one more time with the same results.
Exhausted, he then gave up and started crawling to the bedroom.
When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright but he quickly fell right into the bed and fell sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
The next morning, he woke up with his wife standing over him shouting at him.
"So, you've been out drinking again!!"
"What makes you say that?" He asked as he put on an innocent look.
"The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."
And another that I enjoy is this one.
This little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism.
Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her
the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call
you the People. The nanny [babysitter], we'll consider her the Working
Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think
about that and see if that makes sense."
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to
check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound
asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding
the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with
the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the
little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept
of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words
what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working
Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and
the future is in deep shit."
THE DRINKER'S ALPHABET
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A- Alcohol: The key to surviving High school
B- Beer: It's what's for dinner...and breakfast and lunch
C- Class: What you're supposed to get up and go to after last night's party
D- Dancing: A favorite pastime of almost every drunk, usually looks pathetic
E- Emergency: The keg is empty or there is no one over 21 in your drinking party
F- Fucked Up: Signified by leaning over a toilet puking your guts out
G- Games: Anything that involves cards, stripping and chugging beers
H- Hang-over: Reminds you of how great last night was and how much you drank
I- Idiot: What you look like after doing a lap dance on fat kid (after just three beers)
J- Jail: Where you'll end up after trying to use a fake ID or stagger home at 5 am
K- Kissing: What you'll do to anything that moves after 15 beers
L- Lord: Person you beg to get you out of every situation involving alcohol
M- Money: That which you no longer have due to too dollar draft nite at the bar
N- Not Again!: What you scream when you wake up beside someone you don't know...again
O- Oh shit!- What you say as you're falling down the stairs
P- Pee: What you have to do every five minutes while you're drinking beer
Q- Quit: What you promise to do after spending the nite in jail with Bertha the Bearded Transvestite
R- Reform: What you promise god you will do while you're puking in the toilet
S- Sex: What you did with that person you met last night while you were drunk...aww yea
T- Twenty-one: Usually the age where u reach ur peak of drinking
U- Underage: Most of the drinking population in town
V- Vodka: The mother of all alcohols and the best way to make Jello
W- Worm: The part of Tequila that reminds you of the porcelin god
X- X-Ray: How they can see into your stomach before they pump it (detox)
Y- Yourself: The one who drinks WAY TOO MUCH every week-end
Z- Zima: Zomething Different....Zomething Fun
:)~
