The J.O.B. Squad vs. L.O.D. 2000 “Even a drunken fool can mount an offense against Scorpio!!!”-JR As Bob Holly and 2Cold Scorpio emerged from behind the curtain at last year’s In Your House: Carnival of Carnage most, if not all, of us felt a shiver run down our spine.  Right away, Vince McMahon made a lame attempt at demonstrating 2Cold’s credibility, mentioning how the former Flash Funk had beaten several opponents lately including Kurrgan.  For those of you who missed In Your House: Men at Work, you didn’t see that Scorpio was completely dominated by Kurrgan right up through the reverse decision that was prompted by Kurrgan’s refusal to release a lethal death grip (a claw that left 2Cold muttering, “Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout Willis?”).  Truly, the J.O.B.bers were right on when they made a prophetic prediction of the upcoming match... two emphatic thumbs down.  The disheartened crowd waited with anticipation to see who could dispatch these men so they could get back to seeing some meaningful matches.  Then the music hit for the aging L.O.D. 2000, who were coming off a monumental losing streak.  Animal came out first, looking old but still somewhat impressive.  The glimmer of hope faded though as his alcoholic partner clumsily and predictably stumbled into his back.  Animal (as well as marks everywhere) was left shaking his head as LOD approached the ring.  As fans in attendance and at home ran for their bathrooms or their smokes, perhaps the worst match in PPV history commenced. The actual in-ring work was a painful and almost unwatchable comedy of errors.  With dozens if not hundreds of punches being thrown and a multitude of what Vince McMahon could only refer to as “stomach flops,” we were almost happy to see 2Cold applying several submission and sleeper holds…. Almost. Just when fans thought nothing could be worse than watching four aging superstars do bad moves, they took a second look.  Apparently someone in the costume department hadn’t been paying much attention, because all four men were dressed the same.  Not only were they dressed the same, but they were wearing white short sleeve tops and black pants.  Had Scorpio not had the foresight to wear long sleeves and high, navy-blue boots these men would’ve looked ridiculously similar.  Thankfully, he saved the day by dressing so uniquely.  Yeah, right.  Throw into the equation a ref out of uniform, but rather in jeans, who looked to be a burnout teenager that they pulled out of the audience, and things couldn’t possibly get worse.  Or could they? After nearly ten agonizing minutes of what even Vince had to admit was “perhaps the sloppiest match we’ve ever seen,” these men just couldn’t seem to end the match.  Between Hawk yelling “Animal!  Animal!” to be tagged in before he was supposed to and JR revealing secrets of his childhood (with lines like, “Like mah Momma always used to say about mah Poppa….. he’s cocked!”), fans only got more confused.  We held our breath as the J.O.B. squad seemed to have Hawk beaten with a series of back and forth punches, but Animal broke up the pin.  Dammit! Somehow, some way, things got worse from there.  As randomly as it sounds, Scorpio left the ring and came back in with a chair.  The words in the minds of WWF fans and on the lips of Vince McMahon were simply, “What… the… hell?!”  No one could explain this move, because it would lead to an automatic DQ, but somehow it seemed to make perfect sense when compared to the rest of this match.  Action then erupted to the outside, with Hawk actually taking control with a back body drop.  A couple small packages later and it was finally over.  It really doesn’t matter who won, because, in fact, everyone lost.  WWF marks the world over rejoiced at the conclusion of so bad a match but continued to call up their cable companies and ticket providers demanding their money back. This was truly the low point in the careers of four men and perhaps in all of Federation PPV history.  None of the four were seen again in the Federation after this match, and our last sight of each tag team truly summed up how bad things had gotten.  For LOD, it was Hawk sprawled out in the middle of the ring with Animal beside him getting a bulldog from the somewhat out of place referee.  Our last sight of the J.O.B. Squad was of the two men standing in the aisle displaying, as always, two thumbs down.