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"Chris Jericho and HBK are at the top of my stalking list."  Hi and welcome to the Pamela Paulshock Show also known as- Two Goofy Whorish Stalkers! We have a great show for you guys. Today, we go backstage to answer another mind rattling question. "What does the WME think of Debra?" Also, we'll go into a tragedy that has rocked the foundation of Tiffany Evans and even me, Pamela Paulshock. But first, the Top 7 WME hotties we would like to screw! The huge screen behind them lights up. The first thing it shows is a very sexy picture of Rob Van Dam. Coming in at number seven is Rob..Van..Shwing! Yes, Rob Van Dam is at Number Seven. The reason he is in this position is simple. Look at him! He's hott, flexible, and he free balls. Ladies, take a good look at a picture from the front and back of him. You see a huge wang in the front and a nice ass in the back. Okay, he's on my stalking list next to HBK. ::pauses::Come on. The man can do a split for goodness sake! Okay, moving on. At number six is Matt Hardy Version One. This guy got himself on the countdown because he is really hott. He's got those nice chocolate brown eyes and that cute button nose that curves a little. He's almost like a teddy bear! A doable one at that. Next on our list is Mr. Ghetto Booty himself, Billy Kidman! Mr. Kidman has the biggest butt in this business. I swear that man has some black in him because that's just not normal. Like rappers always say, "Baby got back!". I can imagine doing quite a few things with that big butt of his. Tiffany! Please! This is a show viewed by a wide audience, not some some underground production for an efed on the internet that will help us win a match. Everyone looks at her. Okay, let's continue. The next hottie on our list comes in at number four. It's- Suddenly Stand Back! blasts throughout the studio. A person dressed in the Hurri-Mask and a green cape suddenly appears in the studio. Holy Mick Foley! It's the Hurricane! No, Citizen Paulshock. It is I, The Hurrishame, a cheap rendition of the one you call Hurricane. Your budget could not afford the real one. Damn budget. Anyway, the reason The Hurricane is Number Four is because he's lovable. He's a little scrawny, which is cute, and has the coolest personality. Why thank you, Citizen Paulshock. And you don't have a small ding-a-ling! Pamela Paulshock smacks Tiffany Evans on the arm. Thank you for stopping by, Hurrishame. It was a Hurri-Pleasure. Until then, to the Hurri-Cave! The Hurrishame flies out of the studio, as the horrible effects system adds a cheap wooshing sound. Now we're into the top three. Coming in at number three is Shannon Moore! Aww. He's just so damn cute! That he is. Shannon is the most adorable guy on the countdown today. He's just got that cuddly quality. I love him. Rounding the number two spot is.. The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels. I thought that he deserved the Number One spot but Tiffany Evans just had to have her way. The camera does a closeup on Tiffany Evans. She is grinning wildly. In HBK's defense, he is mega-hott, sinfully boyish, and the guy I'd most like to screw. He's a total babe. Come to Smackdown, Shawn! I love you! And topping it all off, of course, is my man Chris Jericho! It's no question when it comes to his hotness. He ranked number 3# on the Smackdown roster and is one half of the Tag Team Champions. He's got it all going for him. Not only that, but what makes him so screwable is the fact that he is..Chris Jericho! He's the King of the World, and definately rules in my kingdom. Well there you have it! The top seven guys we'd most like to screw! We'll be back after this commerical break. Backstage with Pam and "WME Superstars" We are back from commercial break. This is Reporter Paulshock and I am backstage at a WME Arena. A stagehand whispers in her ear. Well, it seems that remote location does not fit inside our budget so we are in a makeshift backstage area of our studio. Standing here next to me is, The Hurricane! Greetings Citizen Paulshock but this is not the Hurricane. It is I, the Hurrishame. Pamela Paulshock stomps on his foot. I mean, it is I, The Hurricane! Thank you for taking the time to be interviewed. It is the Hurricane's duty to please the citizens of the world! Right. So tell me, Hurricane, what do you think of Debra? Well, to be blunt, The Hurricane thinks that Debra is a 100 year old reincarnation of Debbie Renalds' great grandmother. So you're saying she's old? And ugly. Really? Well, she has a dark match on Smackdown against Pamela Paulshock. Do you think she'll come out victorious? You dare to mention the word victorious and Debra in the same sentence? Wassupwit- Why did you stop? Copyriht infringement and the Hurrishame is Hurri-Broke. Well, thank you for letting me interview you. It was a Hurri-Please. Now, to the Hurri-Cave! The Hurrishame disappears to the left side of the screen. Ten seconds later, the cheap budget in sound editing finally adds the "Woosh!" sound effect. A new wrestler appears. It is a woman dressed in a black speedo, black boots, and a Triple H shirt. Her hair is down and she added extra putty to her nose. Welcome, Triple H. Hello-ahh Reporter Pamela Paulshock-ahh. Um, why do you talk like that? Like what-ahh? Nevermind. So, what do you think about Debra? Debrahh? The plastic bimbo with the nasty cookies-ahh? Yes, that would be the one. Well-ahh, to be honest, I think she's the most disgusting diva on the roster-ahh. I mean-ahh, look at her-ahh. She's an alien. Do you think she'll win her dark match on Smackdown? I could care less-ahh. The sight of her rubber body laying on the mat make me naucious. A suggestion for any fans in the first row during that match, SUN SHADES. Any last comments? I am the Game-ahh, and I am that-ahh...damn-ahh...good-ahh! "Triple H" walks off. Seconds later, we see clothes flying everywhere. Suddenly, a long putty nose flies across the screen and hits Reporter Paulshock in the face. Moments later, a new wrestlers comes out. The woman is wearing black boots, tight blue jean shorts, a Stone Cold Steven Austin shirt, and a bald cap on her head. She walks over to Reporter Pamela. Hello and welcome Stone Cold. What?! Welcome Stone Cold. What?! Welcome Ston- Nevrmind. So, what do you really think of your wife Debra? What do I think? I think she's a jezabell! What?! A tramp! What?! A slut! What?! Stop that. What?! I said stop that. What?! Pamela! ::whispers:: You're taking this too far. Okay. Do you think your wife is going to win her dark match on Smackdown? If Stone Cold thinks his wife is gonna whoop somebody's ass on Smackdown, give me a hell yeah! No one says a thing. Well there's your answer Paulshock. Stone Cold says his wife is gonna walk into that arena- What?! Step in that ring- What?! And get her ass whipped- What?! There's not a damn thin she can do about it. And that's the bottom line, 'cause Stone Cold said so! What?! You're over doing it again. Okay. Well, Austin, thank you for your time. What?! Oh, nevermind. Bye. "Stone Cold" leaves the scene. Reporter Paulshock looks deep into the camera. Well, there you have it folks. The WME Superstars backstage think that Debra is old, ugly, fake, and will get her butt whooped by Pamela Paulshock in their dark match on Smackdown. I'm Reporter Paulsock, reporting for the low budget Pamela Paulshock Show. In the studio with Pam and Tiff Welcome back, People of Chicago. Today, we are sad to report a tragedy that has struck us hard. It has a especially hit Tiffany. Tiffany has a tissue box in front of her. She grabs a tissue and brings it to her eyes. Yes it has. We recently found out that Chris Jericho has been seriously dating WME Women's Champion Trish Stratus. That whore! Hey! Trish Stratus is a respectable wrestler. She's stolen my man! Oh! He was never yours to begin with. One day he will be. He's mine..my own..my precioussssss. Tiff, you're scaring me. Seriously. Soon he'll be mine... One day... Um, okay..Well, this is Pamela Paulshock and Tiffany Evans signing off. We'll see you next time! "Oops! I Did It Aain" by Britney Spears blasts throughout the studio. Pamela Paulshock rubs her breasts and blows kisses to the camera. The scene then goes black. |