YOU ARE:

Ever wondered who you are? Ever thought, 'who the arsing buggery am I then? And just what the blinkin Nora am I all about?' Well, don't despair, we have taken the trouble to list all of your characteristics:

(1) You are middle class

(2) You have access to a computer

(3) You're probably American

(4) You have too much free time

(5) Your natural curiosity in exceeded only by your innate patience

(6) You have your hand on a mouse.

(7) You are probably getting bored by now.

(8) In fact I'd say that, by now, you have got the gist of what this is all about and are getting fidgety.

(9) Your name is John.

(10) Or maybe Peter.

Let me out